Suddenly Single

by Carol Wyer

  Alex and Chloe were up next. No sooner had she yanked off her shoes than her knees weakened like somebody had snipped the ligaments with a pair of scissors. It took a mountain of effort to clamber into the zorb. The interior was ridiculously bouncy and as she wobbled to her feet, breathing in damp plastic and perspiration, she wondered how on earth she was going to hit the pins: vague, black objects that could barely be seen from the interior of the ball now cloudy with breathy exhalations. She was aware of Fairfax and Eleanor shooting off to her right and of people cheering, but the majority of her attention was on her hammering heart and her unsteady legs. She’d be lucky if she could manage three steps forward. For a second, she thought of her sister, Georgia, who’d have loved this activity. Sorrow replaced the panic to be replaced again by thoughts of her character, Laila, in Oh, Ambassador! When Chloe wrote, she tried to get into the character’s head and even act like that character. She could pretend to be the character here, now. She conjured up Laila – ambitious, daring and fearless. Her body toppled forwards as the ball began to move. She was off. With arms outstretched, she emulated Alex’s climbing technique, all the while imagining she was the carefree, bold young woman who was dealing with a randy guest at one of the handsome ambassador’s parties in an unusual manner, and before she knew it, Chloe collided with a pin. The ball then bounced high and off to the left and Chloe was thrown first onto her knees, then her back and was spun upside down several times, as if inside a tumble dryer on low spin. At last, disorientated and breathless she collapsed on her back, legs akimbo in the air as the ball drew to a final halt. The staff members had caught it. She emerged from the plastic sauna, hair awry and sweat on her brow.

  ‘Did I hit many pins?’ she asked.

  Sean high-fived her. ‘Hit many? You smashed them all to smithereens. We couldn’t believe how fast you were going. We all had to jump out of the way. You were like a human cannonball.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘Really. Strike.’

  She wiped her forehead. It was a good result. Chloe had gone through with it and had scored a strike. Nanny Olive would be proud of her. Chloe had to admit though, it wasn’t her doing. Alex had pushed her and set the ball off on a straight line. He had helped her yet again. Her pulse raced a little at the thought and she flushed at the realisation that she really liked Alex.

  * * *

  ‘Not a bad result, eh?’ said Alex as they sat once again in the back seat of Fairfax’s Nissan truck. The rain had stopped at last and the group were tired but content.

  Chloe agreed. They’d shared the champagne with the losing team and it had been a hugely fun event. She’d spoken to everyone and there was no doubt she was more relaxed around these people, so when Eleanor asked if they were up for the next event the following week, she found herself agreeing to it immediately.

  ‘You around tomorrow?’ asked Eleanor as they drew up outside their house.

  ‘I’m going to see Sean at his bookshop in Uttoxeter,’ said Chloe. Sean had asked her to drop in and she couldn’t refuse him.

  ‘I’m going to a motorbike event in Wales,’ said Alex. ‘Jacqueline assures me I’ll become a convert afterwards and will trade my Land Rover for a Ducati.’

  ‘I was thinking about tomorrow evening,’ Eleanor replied. ‘It’s New Year’s Eve. We’re having a few friends over and my parents are coming. Why don’t you both join us?’

  ‘Not sure what time I’ll be back,’ said Alex with a small shrug of his shoulders.

  ‘I’m going out too,’ said Chloe quickly. She hoped nobody noticed the tell-tale red spots in her cheeks that always appeared when she didn’t tell the truth. It was only a white lie. She would go out – with Ronnie for a walk, and then watch the celebrations on television. She liked to be with him in case anyone let off fireworks at midnight, as they had done in Appletree. She didn’t want him frightened and alone.

  ‘Shame. Oh well, another time.’

  * * *

  Chloe was surprised at how flat she felt when she opened her door. Even Ronnie who threw himself at her, shaking a sock he’d found in one of the bedrooms, and who lavished her with massive amounts of love, couldn’t detract from the disappointment she felt that Alex was going out for the day with Jacqueline. She’d been hopeful for a moment that there’d been something between her and Alex but clearly it was one-sided. She should have known he’d prefer being with exciting Jacqueline rather than dull Chloe. She shook her head to dispel the gloomy thought. She would look forward to visiting A New Chapter instead. Sean had given her directions of how to reach it that would enable her to avoid shoppers and other people. Moreover, she had Ronnie who never let her down. She hugged him fiercely and whispered. ‘You want to go for a walk?’

  Chapter Eleven

  Sunday, 31st December

  ‘It’s seven forty-five in the morning and already twenty-five degrees, and I’m melting,’ Faith complained. She was dressed in a white swimsuit and crocheted top that set off her golden skin perfectly.

  ‘You look fabulous,’ said Chloe and meant it.

  ‘You say the nicest things. You look good too. In fact, you look like you’ve lost some weight. I thought everyone ballooned over Christmas. What’s going on? I don’t speak to you for five days and you shed pounds? You on a miracle diet?’

  Chloe laughed. ‘You’re imagining it although I think all the walking and exercise is doing me good. I suppose I lost about five pounds in that wretched zorb ball.’

  ‘Sounds hilarious,’ said Faith. Chloe had already filled her in with the events of the day before. ‘You seeing in the new year?’

  ‘I was invited to a party but I’m going to stay home and guard Ronnie. I don’t want him scared by random fireworks going off.’

  ‘Where is the mutt?’

  ‘Asleep.’

  ‘Why does that not surprise me? He’s always asleep when I call you.’

  ‘He’s worn out from walking.’

  ‘Has he lost weight too?’

  Chloe grinned. ‘You partying?’

  ‘There’s a big bash in the hotel. I’m getting a full facial, manicure, pedicure, haircare package and then I shall be the belle of the ball until the clock strikes midnight, at which point, I shall beetle back to my room before I turn into a pumpkin.’

  ‘That’s not likely, is it? You never look anything other than a princess. Is there nobody you fancy at the hotel?’

  ‘Everyone’s coupled up this year although there are a couple of handsome waiters, and the yoga instructor is very tasty… or maybe I’ll wait for a single multi-millionaire to drop by later.’ She gave a wry smile before changing the subject. ‘Tell me more about Canadian Sean.’

  ‘Nothing to tell. I’m going to visit him this afternoon like I said.’

  ‘Good, good. Anything else you want to share with me, your best friend?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Your face says otherwise.’

  ‘Well, I had a really good Christmas Day with Alex and we got on ever so well and I think I hoped… oh… I don’t know. He’s going out with one of the women from the singleton club.’ She blurted it out quickly.

  ‘A-ha. I see.’

  ‘See what?’

  ‘You fancy Alex.’

  ‘No. I only want to be friends with him. I like him.’

  ‘Well, why do you look so dejected then?’

  ‘I don’t.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Okay what?’

  ‘Nothing.’ Faith shook her head innocently. ‘I’d better zip off to my yoga class. I have to perfect my Warrior poses. Happy New Year for tomorrow and I’ll text you tomorrow.’

  ‘You too and behave yourself tonight.’

  ‘I always behave myself,’ said Faith. ‘Except when I don’t.’

  They ended the call and Chloe checked her reflection in the mirror for the umpteenth time. Sean had given her instructions on how to reach the private car park at the back of the shop, so she wouldn’t have to walk through town.
She could access the shop through the staff entrance which meant she felt a great deal happier about visiting him. It was almost one p.m. and time to go.

  As she drove away from her home, she passed Alex’s Land Rover parked on his driveway and was reminded he was out with Jacqueline. No doubt they’d be getting along really well. Jacqueline was bright, outgoing and dazzling. She released a heavy sigh. Faith had been close to the mark. She’d come to like and rely on Alex very quickly – too quickly as it happened.

  * * *

  There was a buzzer on the back door marked A New Chapter. She pressed it and within seconds, Sean was beaming at her.

  ‘Come in. Glad you could make it. You picked a good time.’

  She navigated the corridor into the back of the shop. She let out a gasp of delight. The bookshop was one of the prettiest she’d ever seen, with white shelving set against pale duck-egg blue walls. The place was uncluttered, with ample browsing space between sections marked with copperplate written signs indicating romance, thrillers, horror, science-fiction or non-fiction sections. The ceiling, complete with wooden beams was whitewashed, giving an impression of a pretty country cottage sitting room. An open fireplace was at one end of the shop, decorative dried flowers in a milk churn standing in the grate, and beside it, two wooden swing seats with indigo cushions, attached by hefty ropes to the beams. Arched windows with white frames added to the allure of the place, and imaginatively designed white wooden tables stacked with fetching book displays completed the picture.

  ‘It’s lovely,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you. I had a local designer work on it. I wanted old-world charm meets modern chic – an escape for readers or customers. If they want, there’s a smaller reading room through here,’ he said, taking her through an archway into another brightly lit room, with a window and another swinging seat.

  ‘The seats are really comfortable. When there’s no one about, I always have a quick swing on them.’ He grinned.

  The shop smelt of a mixture of lavender and books. Chloe inhaled deeply. Paper had a special scent of its own and she was transported to a time in the past when she’d spend lunch breaks upstairs in the quiet history and science section of the shop where she worked, huddled in a huge leather chair in the corner of the room, reading a book she’d purchased.

  ‘It’s been a labour of love,’ Sean said, guiding her around the place. She could see shoppers walking down the cobbled pedestrian street that passed his shop. She’d seen photographs online of the shop’s exterior, with its inviting azure façade and the black iron railings either side of the four steps leading to the front door. The name of the shop was handwritten in large black letters over the door. A colourful mixture of winter pansies in wrought-iron planters under each window added the final welcoming touches. The shop promised escapism and delivered it in spades.

  ‘Honestly, it’s the nicest bookshop I’ve seen.’

  ‘That makes me very happy. If you fancy doing a few hours here on Wednesday, I’d love to have you work here.’ When she didn’t reply he changed the subject. ‘So, what books do you most enjoy? I know I asked you when we were ice-skating, but if you had to choose a book today to read, what would you choose?’

  ‘That’s hard. I pretty much enjoy anything that’s well written.’

  ‘What are you reading at the moment?’

  She’d been caught out. She hadn’t read a thing since her break-up with William and her attempts to write a second book. She was unable to digest other writers works when she was focused on her own but she couldn’t tell Sean that.

  ‘I’ve got out of the habit what with the break-up and moving.’

  ‘Sure. That happens. You get out of sync.’ He removed his glasses and checked for smears on the lenses and wiped at one with the corner of his sweatshirt.

  Chloe couldn’t help but notice his eyes. The glasses detracted from the intensity of colour, a deep forget-me-not blue. ‘What would you recommend?’

  ‘Depends on what you fancy.’ He held the glasses up to the windows again and satisfied they were clean, put them back on.

  ‘Something light-hearted. I can’t handle anything too serious at the moment.’

  ‘You like romantic comedy?’

  ‘I’m not really a chick-lit sort of person. I like happy endings but life isn’t like that, is it?’

  He shook his head. ‘Nah, generally it sucks. Oh, I have just the thing for you. I read it a few weeks ago. It’s hilarious – a bit naughty if you don’t mind that sort of thing, but so funny. I was in hysterics. Suzy kept asking me what I was laughing at but it’s too grown-up for her.’ He strode over to the rear of the shop, reached to a shelf and returned with a paperback. ‘By far the best read this year.’ He held out a book Chloe recognised immediately. She took the copy of Spank Me Harder, Vicar from him unsure if he knew or guessed she’d written it and was winding her up, or if he was testing her. Her cheeks burned as she pretended to study the retail description. What should she say? Should she admit the truth or take the book and pretend to read it? She couldn’t do that. There was no way she could keep up the pretence like that.

  Sean misunderstood her silence.

  ‘Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s saucy in parts but it’s really well written and I thought it would make you chuckle. It really is comedy gold. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. Oh shit! Sorry, Chloe. What must you think of me?’

  She couldn’t bear his dismay. He was only being kind.

  ‘You haven’t offended me,’ she said, giving a small cough. ‘Not at all. Can you keep a secret?’

  * * *

  ‘No. You’re kidding me.’ Sean shook his head again. ‘You?’

  ‘C J Knight. I know. I don’t come across at all as witty or funny. I still don’t quite know how I managed to write it. It went through quite a few editing stages…’

  ‘It’s not that. It’s the sex scenes. They were so raunchy and you’re so…’

  ‘Prim?’

  ‘Not prim exactly but some of the stuff in there…’

  She lifted her hands, palms up. ‘What can I say other than I have a vivid imagination.’

  ‘You sure do! Well, I shall be looking at you through very different eyes now.’

  ‘Please don’t. It’s only a book. Don’t judge me by its contents’

  ‘You got me wrong. I mean I shall be in awe now. You’re really great at writing. I loved every one of the characters and the entire book. I’ve been recommending it to everyone who comes into the shop. You writing anything else at the moment?’

  ‘I’m supposed to be but I’ve got a case of writer’s block and need to shake myself out of it. I’ve made a start on the sequel, but I’m lacking inspiration. My agent thinks I need to relax and have fun. Blames it all on my marriage break-up.’

  ‘So you became a member of the singleton club for some fresh ideas?’

  ‘Far from it. That was Eleanor’s fault. She got me drunk and had me signed up before I knew it.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t you want to join? I know I was hesitant at first but I’m quite shy and awkward and you, you’re the opposite.’

  It was her turn for her mouth to drop open in surprise. ‘What?’

  ‘Well, you are. I was drawn to you instantly. You have such a wonderful smile and I felt at ease immediately. I don’t normally find it easy to chat to women but somehow it was different with you.’

  ‘It was the other way around. You put me at ease.’

  ‘Get out of here. I did not. Most women are bored rigid by me. All I do is blether on about books and my daughter.’

  ‘That’s definitely not true.’

  ‘It is. That’s why I’ve been single since my divorce. Suzy’s my life. Not many women are interested in a guy who already has a love, even if she is his daughter.’

  ‘That you care about her so much shows who you truly are. Besides, women like you. Jacqueline thinks you’re hot.’

  He blushed then laughed. ‘Okay, let’s stop the
mutual appreciation fest. Are you trying to convince me that C J Knight, author of the hilarious and sexy Spank Me Harder, Vicar, is timid? I don’t believe it. What about your profile photo with the fake antlers. That doesn’t scream shy at me. That says, I enjoy a laugh and don’t take myself too seriously. Look at how you performed at the bowling. You were on a mission, lady. You slammed those pins to the outer universe and everyone likes you. After you left, everyone said how engaging and natural you are and Rob the rocker is smitten by you.’

  His incredulity was genuine and etched across his face. That, coupled with the fact he’d just revealed several facts that couldn’t possibly be true, led her to blurt out the truth about her social anxiety and the fact she had a disorder that was as debilitating as it was embarrassing to own up to. Her hands began to shake and she wrung them together to prevent him from noticing.

  ‘I hate meeting people. Really hate it. Especially crowds of strangers. I come out in spots and hot sweats and I feel as if my heart is going to burst out of my chest, and sometimes I get so panicked I’m physically sick. It’s honestly a nightmare to live with. I had it under control to an extent when I lived with William but it got worse after I found out about his affairs. I went to pieces and became even worse. If it hadn’t been for my friend Faith, I don’t know what I’d have done. Probably shut myself away in that house forever and let him carry on with his philandering, but she took charge, coaxed me out, and convinced me to buy a new place and start again. Sunny Meadow Barn is perfect for me because I can retreat from it all. I don’t have to go out or see anybody.’

  His brows knitted together at her words. She continued, unable to stop. She wanted him to understand. ‘That’s why I didn’t come and visit you when you first invited me; I was terrified of walking through town. When you told me that I could drive around to the staff car park and come through the back door, that made it all easier. I’ve been scared all the way here that the shop would have too many customers and I wouldn’t be able to stay. I don’t even think I could take up your offer to work here because I might not be able to face coming in and meeting new customers. It was different before… before my marriage broke down. I had more confidence but now…’ Her face crumpled. It had been a risk to tell him but he ought to know the truth. She was a hopeless case and the fact she’d managed to attend a couple of events didn’t change who she was. The panic could rise at any time and prevent her from living a normal life. He was going to be so disappointed in her. She’d not be able to face any more events and see that disappointment on his face.