Suddenly Single

by Carol Wyer

  ‘I hope I didn’t scare you too much. I don’t know what got into me.’

  ‘I enjoyed it.’ She realised it was the truth.

  ‘Tomorrow is another day and I’ll be boring old Ed the gardener. It was great to… to feel alive.’

  ‘I didn’t know you were a gardener.’

  ‘Been in the business since I left the army. I used to work with a major landscape gardening company but now I do my own thing. I prefer to work at my own pace.’

  ‘I could do with some advice. I have a completely blank canvas of a garden and I don’t have a clue how to set it out.’

  ‘Would you like some ideas?’

  ‘I really would. I can plant and look after things but I’m lacking inspiration regarding what to buy, what would grow well in certain soils, and how to look after it. Internet sites are useful but I’m getting bamboozled by all the information.’

  ‘I’d be delighted to help you. Would you like my contact details?’

  She copied his phone number into her contact list. ‘When are you free to come and see it?’

  ‘Midweek. First thing Wednesday morning. Would that suit you?’

  ‘It would. Thank you so much. I’ll text you the address now.’

  Her fingers flew over the phone keypad and his screen lit up with a soft beep.

  ‘Got it. See you Wednesday. I’d better get out of this overall now before it sticks to me.’

  Her feet bounced across the tarmac as she walked across to the few remaining people. She wouldn’t have to search for strangers to come and work in her garden. Ed would help her. The relief was palpable. Today she’d won a race, found somebody she didn’t feel awkward with to sort out her garden and William had been sorry. He was getting into his car and she watched as he drew away. He stopped for a second, lifted his hand and smiled at her. The hurt was still there and she couldn’t trust him, but he’d acknowledged he’d been in the wrong and he was proud of her. Today was a good day.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Wednesday, 31st January

  ‘It’s absolutely stunning up here, isn’t it?’ said Ed as he took in the views from Chloe’s garden.

  ‘Thank you. It’s the main reason I bought the house.’

  ‘Easy to see why, although the garden is somewhat on the large side.’

  Chloe winced. ‘It is. I don’t know what I imagined. Probably a friendly farmer cutting the hay for me or some grandiose layout like one of Capability Brown’s gardens. To be honest, I didn’t think it through. It looked so different when I came up when the house was being converted. The garden seemed half the size with machines on it and piles of rubble from where they were digging for the septic tank. In hindsight, I ought to have considered the exterior as much as the interior.’

  ‘I enjoy a challenge so let me have a walk about and see if I can come up with any ideas we can try to make it as user-friendly as possible. You had any thoughts yet?’

  ‘I drew out a plan but it got messed up. Not that it was very good. I thought an avenue of cherry trees over there to wander through to a flower meadow.’

  He nodded wisely, and Chloe thought that at one time he must have been a good-looking man. His eyes were the colour of honeycomb and his cheekbones fine. Although his hair was now grey, there was a hint of colour in one or two strands that suggested it had been a deep auburn. His hands were elegant and the nails neatly clipped, not at all the hands she’d expect of a gardener.

  ‘You have any preference for plants or trees?’

  ‘I want it to be as natural as possible so birds and insects can benefit from it and I’d like it to be as low-maintenance as possible.’

  The corners of his mouth lifted and he chuckled. ‘Bit of a tall order that. How much land do you own?’

  ‘Five acres. It’s hopeless isn’t it? I’ve been an idiot to kid myself I can look after this amount of land.’ She wrung her hands at the realisation. She’d been fooling herself ever since she bought the house. Somewhere in the recesses of her brain she’d known full well she couldn’t possibly manage an estate like this, even if she spent every day at home. The garden at her house in Appletree had only been less than half an acre and both she and William had worked on it.

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m wasting your time. You must think I’m as daft as a brush.’

  He rubbed his whiskered chin. ‘Not at all. If I bought this house, I’d convince myself it would be easy to sort out the garden. I wouldn’t want to pass up on the opportunity to drink in that view on a daily basis. No, it’s a problem that requires a solution. We can work it out. Let me have a walk around and a think about it and I’ll come up with some ideas for you.’ He tucked the clipboard he’d been carrying, under his arm and took off in the direction of the fence to the far side of her property.

  ‘You idiot, Chloe. You’re going to have to get a professional company to sort this out,’ she muttered.

  ‘First sign of madness,’ came a voice she recognised. Alex was standing near Ed’s car.

  She scowled. ‘I wasn’t talking to myself. I was chastising myself. There’s a difference.’

  ‘Whatever,’ he said with a grin. ‘Came to warn you the electricity’s going to be cut off for a while at ten. The electricity company are working on power lines down the lane and all the houses are going off for about two hours. ‘Better get that cup of tea before that happens.’

  ‘Thanks for letting me know.’

  ‘No probs. What’s Ed doing? Is he divining?’

  Ed appeared to be pointing at the land with a stick. Chloe gave a short laugh. ‘He’s trying to come up with some ideas for a garden layout. He used to work for a landscaping company. Now he works for himself.’

  ‘Okay. That’s useful to know. Maybe he could help me out too. I’ve got mine laid to grass but it could do with some nice planting to make it more attractive. I might have a word with him too before he leaves here if that’s okay. Don’t want to poach him from you.’ He clearly intended to make his place more attractive to potential buyers. She tried to ignore the reminder that Alex was planning on moving back to Spain. She gave him a bright smile instead.

  ‘If you like, I’ll tell him you’re after some help too and send him in your direction.’

  ‘Cool. I’m over at barn three. We’re thinking of calling it The Granary.’

  ‘Was it used to house grain?’

  ‘No, it used to be a cow barn, but I prefer The Granary to Bovine Barn. How’s the writing going?’

  Chloe looked around to make sure no one had heard him ask the question. ‘Slowly. I wrote a few chapters – around ten thousand words, but I didn’t like them when I read them back, so I deleted them.’

  ‘Ouch. Harsh. Must have taken ages to write them. Can’t you put them somewhere for another book?’

  ‘I suppose so, but they didn’t feel right A lot of the time it’s about trusting your gut and writing what you feel. It wasn’t pithy enough.’

  ‘Pithy! I like that word. I’m already looking forward to reading it, if it’s going to be pithy.’

  ‘There’s not a great deal to read of it in its present state. By changing my mind, I’ve put myself behind schedule and Faith is going to be exasperated. The book’s due in by the beginning of March and I’m way off target.’

  ‘Don’t know how you have the patience to sit and write that amount. I get racked off composing long emails. Hope you find another ten thousand words easily.’ His phone buzzed in his pocket and he withdrew it, read the message and rolled his eyes. ‘It’s from Dad. Even though he’s on holiday, he keeps sending texts and checking up on me. I wish he’d let me get on with it. He’s supposed to be relaxing. He wants to know if I’ve ordered the bathroom accessories for The Granary. He asked me the same thing three times yesterday.’

  ‘And have you?’ she gave him a grin. He chuckled in response to it.

  ‘No. I’m waiting for a price from a supplier before I decide who to go with. Better chase them up again for the quote or the old m
an will only text me again. Maybe you do have the better job. At least you don’t get hassled every day or have to make sure the crew is working on the right job and not sloped off for a crafty fag or an extra tea break. Talking of which, I’d better get back to them. Catch you later.’

  He strode off, hands deep in his coat pockets, his breath forming tiny clouds that floated away as he walked into the distance. He exuded a confidence that Chloe could only dream of. It was nice he’d come over personally to tell her about the electricity. He could have just texted her.

  Ed was making his way back over the bare clods of earth, a small figure in the vast expanse of terrain. He stopped and turned a full circle, made a note on his clipboard and then approached her. She tightened her scarf around her neck. The wind was getting up again and her long hair had begun to flick into her face. She tucked it behind her ears and headed over to Ed. ‘What do you think?’ she asked.

  ‘I reckon we could work something out. I’ve realised the Marsh family farm is around here, just on the other side of that hill. They farm the land all around here and I know Keith Marsh quite well. We were in the same regiment. I’ll have a word with him and ask if he’d be willing to take about four acres of grassland for silage. I’m sure he’d want it. He’s got a decent herd of cows. I’ll then plot out the remainder to give you a meadow and a wildlife-friendly garden. I’ve taken some photographs of the place to give me an idea of what I’m working with. Once I’ve got a rough layout, I’ll come back and show it to you and then you can decide if you want to go ahead with that or not. I won’t be offended if you don’t like it.’

  Chloe wasn’t sure if it was his gentlemanly manner or the way he kept his gaze lowered as if slightly timid, or the fact she knew he was somebody who’d lost his one love, but she experienced a rush of affection for the man. ‘I thought you were going to say you couldn’t help me.’

  ‘I can always help a lady in distress,’ he said with a small stiff bow. ‘Besides, I’d enjoy working here. That is, if you’d like me to. I’d be happy to come and give you a hand in it afterwards if it gets too much for you. I sold our home and I live in a flat these days. I miss not having a garden. It’d be a joy to work up here.’

  ‘You’ve lifted a huge weight from my shoulders. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to cope alone.’

  His cheeks turned pale pink and he tidied a strand of hair behind his ear. ‘I’ll be in touch once I’ve drawn up some ideas.’

  ‘Thank you. Oh, before you go, Alex asked if you could spare some time and see him too.’

  ‘Definitely. Where is he?’

  ‘He’s over in the big barn at the far side of the development where all the noise is coming from.’

  ‘Okay. I’ll seek him out. I’ll try and get the plan done this week. It would be best if we started planting early March and that’ll be on us before we know it.’

  He kicked off some mud from his boots and climbed into his car. Chloe waved him off with a hearty smile. A feeling of lightness had crept into her soul. The garden problem had been resolved thanks to the singleton club. Now she needed to tackle the more immediate problem of the new book.

  * * *

  No sooner had the electricity gone off than her mobile rang.

  ‘Hi. Just seeing how you were.’

  Chloe could hardly speak.

  ‘Chloe?’

  ‘Yes, William.’

  ‘I hope I haven’t caught you at a bad time.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘I wanted to make sure you’d forgiven me for the other day. I know it must have sounded bad. I wanted to express how happy I was for you but I phrased it all wrong and upset you.’

  ‘You explained on Saturday.’

  ‘I wanted to double check.’

  ‘Okay. Thank you for ringing and checking but you apologised and I understood what you meant.’

  There was a hiatus during which she heard him take a painfully long breath as if building up courage.

  ‘Good. What are you doing?’

  ‘Just been trying to sort out my garden.’

  ‘In this weather?’

  ‘I wasn’t working in the garden. There is no garden yet. I’m getting it sorted out for springtime.’

  ‘Ah, I see. Ours is looking miserable. I think it misses your magic green fingers. You kept it looking so nice. The cherry tree by our bedroom window is so beautiful in spring. Like cascading pink snow.’ There was an unmistakable tinge of sadness to his tone. ‘I need to tidy the leaves and the whole garden up before prospective buyers come around.’

  ‘You had any interest in it?’

  ‘Not much but with spring coming the estate agent’s hopeful we’ll move it quickly. Living here again is harder than I imagined it would be. The house… it’s not the same without you.’

  ‘I found it difficult too after you walked out.’

  ‘I’m so sorry for that.’ He left another short pause before saying, ‘It feels wrong living here without you, and knowing I’m going to be moving out once it sells, it’s like living in a vacuum.’

  She shook her head even though he couldn’t see it. He was feeling sorry for himself. Lilly and he had split up and he was trying to get good old Chloe back on side. She wasn’t falling for his line. ‘You insisted we sold it and divide the proceeds, and given I put all my inheritance money into the house and now need it to pay the mortgage on this place, I don’t see there’s another option. It’ll be easier once you find a new place to move to. Any idea where you’ll go?’

  The sigh turned into small shuddering noises. William was in tears. She listened acutely. He was releasing small sobs.

  ‘William?’ she asked cautiously.

  There was another gap before he spoke nasally, congested by tears. ‘Chloe, I’m in a state. Sorry. I shouldn’t be ringing you. I don’t know what I was thinking of. I’ll go.’

  ‘No, don’t go, William. What’s wrong?’ She couldn’t erase years of living with a man she loved. He needed her and no matter how badly he’d treated her, she couldn’t turn her back on him. He sniffed and continued.

  ‘I was wrong about Lilly. The day I walked back into this house – our house, that you and I shared all our married life – I knew I’d made a colossal mistake. You’d just moved out and the house was so… sad. I broke up with Lilly that same day. I moved here alone. I didn’t join the singleton club because I wanted to meet people. I joined up because I knew you had and I needed an excuse to be near you.’

  ‘How?’ Chloe couldn’t finish her sentence.

  ‘I picked up a magazine at Appletree surgery and spotted an advert for the singleton club. Your photo was on it. You were wearing reindeer antlers and smiling, and I knew in an instant I had to see you again. Watching you at the events, I’ve seen you’ve moved on, but I can’t, Chloe. Not yet. And I’m not sure I want to.’

  Chloe stared ahead, mouth agape. She had no idea where that had come from. William had been adamant the day he walked out that their marriage was not only on the rocks but had been for some time…

  ‘Chloe, infidelity isn’t the fault of one person. Both parties are to blame. It happens because there’s a problem within the relationship and you know there is one. Things have been wrong for some time.’

  She pushes the carefully marinated steak to the edge of her plate. Her appetite has deserted her and to control the violent hammering against her ribcage she stacks the fried potatoes, one on top of the other until they topple over. William’s not eating either. He’s resting his elbows on the table and staring hard at her but she can’t meet his eyes. She wishes she hadn’t mentioned the stupid receipt she has uncovered in the breast pocket of his best jacket. She should never have looked through the sodding pockets in the first place. Why had she? If she hadn’t removed all the clothes to give the wardrobes a proper clean, she’d never have felt the rustling of paper and she wouldn’t have uncovered the receipt from a restaurant she’s never been to, in a place she’s not heard of, on a day when William was suppo
sed to have been at a conference in Birmingham. The same day she’d been cleaning Nanny Olive’s house and packing away her treasured belongings for the final time. He was relieved when she brought up the subject of the receipt, like he’d deliberately left the clue for her to find and to draw the inevitable conclusion. He immediately admitted he’d been with Lilly. Yes, it had been a few days after Nanny Olive had passed away and while Chloe had been crying alone in her grandmother’s house, he’d been eating oysters and drinking champagne with Lilly. There’d been many restaurants, hotels, liaisons, and even weekends away since, and Chloe had been in the dark about them all. Or had she? Like many who’d been cheated on, she’d had an inkling, an instinct something was awry, and she’d known William was keeping something from her. She’d believed the fault lay with her and had chosen instead to ignore the obvious signs.

  Now she’s let slip about the find, William doesn’t want to hold back about all his indiscretions, and she fights back the rising nausea and the pain in her chest as she listens to his excuses.

  ‘You can’t lay all the blame at my feet, Chloe. You’ve become increasingly withdrawn and reluctant to enjoy life. I understand why but I feel trapped in a prison of your making and I can’t escape.’

  ‘You go out,’ she says in a small voice. ‘I don’t ever stop you.’

  ‘You know what I’m talking about. We don’t behave like normal couples do. When I get you to agree to come to a function or something, you are such hard work. I feel I have to make up for you all the time.’

  ‘That’s unfair,’ she says, but he isn’t listening.

  ‘I’m unhappy and I think it’s time we both stopped pretending,’ he says.

  ‘I’ve never pretended—’ she begins, but he holds up a hand to stop her in mid-sentence.

  ‘Don’t say anything. I don’t want this to turn into an argument. Fifteen years is a long time to be together. I think it’s time for a change. We’ve had a decent past but we don’t have a future together. We ought to end it before it becomes bitter and horrid. I still have feelings for you. I just can’t live with you any longer. I’ve arranged to move in with Lilly.’