Purgatory

by Hayley Smyth

  “Really?” Amy tickled Carter's ribs. “Have you three ever... you know?”

  “What?” Carter asked, his eyes heavy with lust for this girl.

  Amy stepped forward, wiggling her finger at the rest of us, beckoning us nearer. “Ya know.... fucked?”

  Mila laughed, her mouth agape in horror. “Oh, my god, Amy!”

  “Well, the boys do everything together, right? A girl was just curious.”

  “Jax and I haven't even..”

  I cut her off, but it was too late. Amy and Carter both knew where the sentence was headed.

  “No? You mean, you two haven't had sex?” Carter looked at Amy, and there was a small pause before both of them descended into a fit of howling laughter. Mila didn't care, she had her morals, and she was tougher than she looked, I, however, was pissed that she'd just outed me in front of my friend.

  “Fuck you, man,” I spat at Carter. Drunk on Amy, drunk on whiskey and beer and tequila, and so, being frustrated as fuck, I decided to call Amy's bluff.

  “I'm game if you all are,” I said, deadpan.

  Three sets of eyes looked at me.

  Mila was horrified. “Jax, what the hell?”

  “I said I'm game if you all are. It's only sex, for Christ sake.”

  Mila pulled away from me. “Only sex?”

  “Buddy, come on. Amy was only kidding. Don't get into an argument with your woman. Something’s pissed you off today, and you're going to end up taking it out on her.”

  “I'm not kidding.” Amy piped up, grinning.

  And she wasn't. I called her bluff, and she'd been fucking serious.

  Before I knew it, Amy and I were leading the way, and a night happened that would forever change our history.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jax.

  It was the morning after the storm. The auction over with, I'd asked to see Amy, and Marnie had caught Ella and me.

  What a cluster fuck.

  My eyes flickered open, the bright early morning sun causing my head to pound, the throbbing going from one temple round to the other. Groaning, I turned on my side to check my phone. Three missed calls from my Pops early this morning and a message from Mindy.

  Something had happened.

  Sitting upright, I swung my legs out of bed, stood, and dialed my Pops. He answered within three rings.

  “Son!” He exclaimed. “I haven't got much time,” the old man was breathless, as though he'd been running.

  “What the fuck are you up to?” I asked, upon hearing the noise in the background.

  “I think we've got something. On Vladimir. The fucking cell.”

  My blood halted in my veins, my ears pricking up like a dog. "Go on..."

  “You know our man in Roswell?”

  “Yeah.”

  “The old boy has been in retirement for nearly twelve years. Anyway, he started as an errand boy for Vlad, it's a long story, but he left. He upped and fucking left, and then my father found him lurking about one day. He had information but never told him where or how he'd gotten it.” My Pops paused to take a breath. “There's mines, son. Hundreds of miles of abandoned mines that run under next to Vlad's home.”

  “That's too fucking close..”

  “No, wait, it gets good.” The phone made a rustling sound as I waited with bated fucking breath for him to deliver the news, Archibald Murdoch, and his flair for the goddamn dramatics. “He got hold of some maps, you know, from years ago. They detail the entire run of the mines, and guess where they start?”

  “The Warehouse,” I said, stopping dead in my tracks, cigarette dangling from my lips, the flame from my light flickering to and fro.

  “Bingo.”

  “Fuck,” I breathed. “This is huge, pops.”

  “Jax, this could be the way we bring Vlad to his knees.”

  I frowned. “Pops, are you talkin'... war? War with the Chro's?”

  I heard the nod. “Look, son, I can't hang about, I'm having a meeting later to get plans underway.” He sighed. “We can't let him continue his sick crusade, after the auction - this has got to stop. I want my son back where he belongs.”

  “Dad, I'm not comfortable with you doing this without me.” I finally lit up my cigarette, chucking the lighter on to the bed.

  My dad chuckled. “I'm not, my boy, we'll need your help too. We need intel. Dates, times, we need to know his routine.”

  I nodded and took a second to compose my thoughts. What the fuck was happening? Could this be it? Could I destroy this man and his operation? Could I save Ella and her daughter?

  “Dad, I have to help Ella. Her daughter, she could be down there if that's where they send the unwanted kids. I know you don't understand, but I made a promise to her.”

  And then said something that shocked me. It had been years since the old man had done that. “Ahh, my boy, I may understand more than you realize.”

  “What?”

  “Your grandfather hated me, did you know that? Of course he did, I was a boy from the wrong side of the tracks in the wrong part of town. Your mother and I had to meet in secret, and we risked her being sent back to her aunts' in Missouri. A strict Catholic family with Catholic views.” A voice in the background spoke in quiet tones, and my dad replied before coming back to me. “I know what it's like to love someone you shouldn't, son, and I won't be the one to stand in your way. Especially not when you've got Vladimir looming over you.”

  “Jesus, dad,” I smiled.

  “What I'm trying to say is: you have my blessing. I want my boy happy, and if doing what I should have done years ago makes that happen, then it's what I have to do.” There was a burst of noise down the line, the sound of an engine turning over, men's voices hollering. “I do have to go now, Jax, just keep your head down. Survive. Survive, my son, until this is all over with.”

  “Yes, sir,” and then we hung up.

  I stared open-mouthed at my phone for Christ knows how long, and then it pinged, reminding me that Mindy, too, had messaged.

  Baby, I miss you. Carter misses you. Hurry home soon, even if it is with another woman on your arm.

  It was a little after eight, and I was showered and dressed when there was a soft knock at the door.

  I hadn't seen her since last night, after touching her, being close to her, after her friend marched her away like a naughty school girl. And so I hurried to open the door.

  But what I saw made my heart fucking ache. Gone was the spark my bird had, and in its place was a nightdress that was gray instead of white, an enormous bruise covered the side of her bare face, heavy dark bags hung under her eyes, and what hurt more than anything was the fact she was staring at the floor.

  Gone was my bird, and back was the meek mouse.

  She was still the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.

  “Mr. Murdoch, if you'd like to come with me, please, my husband has requested your presence.”

  “Ella,” I lowered my voice, peeking my head out of the door to look for any unwanted escorts she may have had. “Bird, what happened?”

  Her bottom lip wobbled, and she took a deep breath. “If you'd like to follow me, please.” And with that, she turned on her naked feet and limped down the hallway.

  I'd been so fucking excited to tell Ella what my dad had said, and now something was screaming at me that I may not get the chance.

  In a weird silence, I trailed behind her, still tightening my belt and running my hands through my damp hair. The entire mansion was quiet, eerily so. I wondered if I stopped and waited for a moment, whether I'd hear the whispers of ghosts that haunted the damn place. The usual hustle of bodies and the noise of men couldn't be heard. My gut churned. I wanted my bird to talk to me.

  Before long, Ella was pushing open the library doors and standing to one side. Her husband sat at the small table by the window, his fat spilling over the leather fabric of the chair, his palm gripping a drink. He didn't acknowledge we'd entered, he simply waved his hand and dismissed Ella.

  T
he room was empty without her.

  Fuck. I was empty without her.

  And this no-good prick had hurt her again. My rage was paramount.

  “Jax, come take a seat. There are some things we need to discuss.” I went to move, but he spoke again. “Oh, leave your weapon on the table over there.”

  Frowning, I left my gun where instructed, aware of the thin layer of ice my heavy work boots stood upon. Vladimir's deathly glare focused on the grounds outside as I sat down, he didn't say a word as he slid the bottle of scotch across the table. I'd have refused, politely, of course, but I needed a fucking drink. This place was making me hit the bottle earlier and earlier it seemed.

  An eternity passed, I'd poured and drunk my drink, the grandfather clocks' ticks all I could hear. What the hell did he want?

  “Amy is ready for you to see.” He said from nowhere. Eyes never moving.

  Okay, now that I hadn't seen coming.

  “The men have looked into everything, and I'm afraid we still don't know who's responsible. I've taken the liberty of arranging the funeral date and place, you and yours just need to do the rest. I'll have the details sent to you.”

  I weighed up what to say. Should I go along? Just let this go and let my friend have peace, or did I push for answers? Declare that that wasn't good enough, demand he send her body to my father.

  “I know you want to argue with me, Jaxon, but the fact of the matter is - this is the world we live in, we try to protect our women, and yet sometimes the lies they spin are their undoing.” And that's when he looked my way. His brow heavy, a hangover I'd have bet, a garish pink shirt only halfway buttoned-up, enormous thighs bulging from shorts too small. The sight of him made me wanna rip my fucking eyeballs out.

  Try to protect our women? Did he say that? Cunt.

  “Thank you, sir,” I replied cringing.

  “There is one last thing before I take you downstairs, though.”

  “Oh?”

  Vladimir quickly knocked back the rest of his scotch and shifted in his seat. “It's about a Marco. And your second argument with him.”

  “Sir, it won't happen again. I know better than to respond to someone provoking me.”

  Vladimir raised a fuzzy eyebrow. “How was he provoking you?”

  Shit. “He accused me of some rather crazy things, sir.” I had to assume Vlad was still unaware. I couldn't give out more information than I received.

  “Which was?”

  I yanked at the buttons around my throat. “That I'd, er, kissed your wife, sir.”

  Vladimir bellowed. Laughter erupted from his mouth, and I flinched. His ham fist pounded the table, and he rose, shaking his head. “Oh, he's got a wild imagination, that one. My wife knows better than to betray me, especially with a goddamn Murdoch.” He continued to laugh as he crossed the room. Sensing I hadn't followed, confused as hell, he turned back and held up a hand. “You coming then, Jaxon? I don't have all day.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  We descended a flight of stairs, stairs that didn't lead to the cells, and if I thought Vladimir's laughter had been confusing, I was even more so as Ella trailed behind us. I knew he kept her in the dark about most things, and I couldn't understand why me seeing Amy was something she needed to be involved with, as if she hadn't seen enough death and gore in her years. Not that I was complaining too much; I was hoping she could sense that I had news, good news, news that could forever change her entire world, and mine.

  We arrived at the morgue, and Vladimir hurried in opening the doors, waltzing into the room and yanking on the zip as though he were opening a suitcase.

  Stepping away, he said, “Ella, and I will give you five minutes to say your goodbyes.” He approached me and patted me on the back. “I warn you - she's not pretty.”

  Fucking cunt. I had to bite my tongue and count backward from ten before I done something impulsive.

  He didn't close the doors to give me privacy, of course, and as I moved closer to my friend, one of my best fucking friends in all the world, knowing that her warmth was gone, a lone tear fell.

  With closed eyes, I used my hands to reach for the table, when I felt metal beneath my fingertips, I took a breath, and then another, and another and then opened my eyes.

  A choked sob escaped my lips as I saw her face. I wanted to reach out and stroke her hair. Instead, I took hold of her hand, and she was ice. I'd never known Amy to be cold. She had been born with a glow of gold around her, and now it was gone, snuffed out like a flame caught in the wind. My eyes trailed down her body, covered in an ugly dress, a dress that wasn't hers, and I seethed. Tears were mixing with rage. Rage mixing with a kind of grief like no other. Her bump. It was as though it had never existed. I touched her belly, and my fucking heart shattered.

  Carefully, I zipped the bag up. There was nothing her body could answer, all evidence of the truth of that night had been washed away, and I stormed from the room.

  As I passed Vladimir, I fought to keep my emotions in check. Without stopping to wait for either of them, I said, “That dress is fucking disgusting. I want it changed.”

  Chapter Twenty One

  Ella.

  It had been four very long days since Vladimir had allowed Jax to see Amy, four days, and I hadn't seen or heard a word from him. The fact I had been so cold towards him was eating me up inside. I hadn't wanted to, but I was hurting. This morning I found myself at a loss, and so I headed for the pool, perhaps a swim would help clear my mind for a while.

  I'd heard through the grapevine that Amy's funeral would be held in two days, and Vladimir had even given Jax permission to attend, granted he returned to The Mansion before nine that evening. As I slipped my dress off and climbed into the cool, soothing water, I wondered whether Jax would return. If he didn't, I wouldn't have blamed him at all.

  We'd been crazy to think that my life could end any other way than next to Vladimir, or by his hand. He may have given me a photograph of my darling daughter, but I didn't assume that meant his heart was softening, no, that had hardened into stone years ago. That was an irreversible change.

  “Hey, babe. Mind if I join you?” Marnie's voice interrupted my thoughts.

  I looked up and shielded my eyes from the sun and saw my friend standing at the poolside, slipping off her thongs, her body clad in a black swimsuit. “Yeah, course.”

  She smiled and dived into the deep end, splashing water everywhere. I stopped doing my laps and clung to the edge of the pool, waiting for Marnie to emerge.

  She burst through the water, wiping her sodden hair from her face and grinned at me. “Oh God, I needed that.” She swam over to me and copied my pose on the wall, arms gripping the concrete. “You okay, babe? How's the bruise today?” She gripped my chin and angled my face to get a better look.

  “It's fine, I've had worse,” I said, pulling away with a roll of my eyes.

  “Jozef told me what Vlad had you do. Shit, that's messed up. I'd have come and found you sooner, but you know, orders and all that.” She looked apologetic, and I knew her better than she gave me credit for sometimes, so I also knew there was something else on her mind. Her blue eyes looked shifty.

  “What, Marn?” I asked. “What could be wrong now?” Huffing, not needing more drama, I pulled myself up the ladder of the pool and grabbed my towel, wrapping it around my body.

  Marnie followed hot on my heels. “Babe, sit down for a minute.”

  Reluctantly, I sat down on a sun lounger, Marnie sat on the other, arms resting on her knees. “Vlad's going to talk to you, obviously, but I wanted to give you a heads up.” She paused to make sure no one else was around. “He wants you and Benny to accompany Jax to the funeral.”

  My mouth dried up and dropped open. “What? Why?”

  She shrugged sighing. “I have no fucking idea, babe. It's Vlad, remember? He doesn't have to make sense.”

  “He never makes sense,” I corrected. “Oh, Marnie, I can't take these games anymore. I'm exhausted.”

 
She took hold of my hands and gave me an encouraging smile. “It's not a game, babe. Just be good, report back to Vlad once you're home, and all will be well.”

  “Will it, though? Marnie...” I sighed, my admission laying heavy on my tongue. “I can't just write Jax off.”

  Her eyes widened. “Babe, you're gonna have to. That's if you wanna live.”

  I rolled my eyes. She'd never understand.

  “And don't roll your eyes at me. Tell me, how are you going to have a normal relationship with the fucking enemy? Under Vladimir's nose?”

  “Shh!” I said, cringing. “You'll get me killed first if you don't be quiet.”

  Lowering her voice, she said, “Ella, you can't possibly be considering starting something with this man? The night of the auction, I signed that off as a moment. A weird moment in your life. I didn't realize things were more serious than that.”

  I couldn't believe what I was hearing, this was all coming from the girl who had grown up beside me, watched me never experience an ounce of love or affection, who'd had many a moment with many a security member, and she was questioning me? I'd had men's attention before. I'd, up until that night, thought Marco and I were something special. Maybe I never saw him as more than a friend, but I'd been dependent on him. And then I met Jax. Who brought out feelings in me I could never begin to explain, feelings I'd never felt before. My body had become a slave to him. I didn't profess to be an expert on love or lust, but were Jax and me just a pipe dream? Or was there actual hope there for us?

  “Marnie, I don't want to talk about it. I'm on thin ice with Vladimir already, and I don't need you lecturing me as well. Please. Just drop it.”

  She sat back, stunned almost. “No, I won't just drop it, Ella. I love you, and I don't want to see you get hurt.”

  I stood up, preparing myself to go back inside, to the haven of my room. “Get hurt? What? Hurt more than I already have these past thirteen years? Believe it or not, Jax cares about me, Marnie. It's real. It's more real than anything I've ever experienced in this world. And I don't expect you to understand, but at least treat me like your friend and an adult.”