Purgatory

by Hayley Smyth

  “Sarka,” I said to Ella. “Her name’s Sarka.”

  The toddler was unsteady on her feet, a lump so goddamn big formed in my throat as I watched Ella crouch down, arms outstretched. “Come here, baby.” She cooed, tears mingling with the rain.

  The girl only had to wobble a few steps, and she’d be safe, I knew Ella didn't want to make any sudden movements and spook her. You could see the uncertainty in the little girls’ dark eyes—another tense moment.

  Another long, drawn-out moment of praying this scenario wouldn’t end in heartbreak.

  “Sarka, baby, come to Mama,” Ella said, wiggling her fingers.

  Sarka cried, wiping the hair from her face and then hurried to her mother.

  I’m not ashamed to admit I cried.

  I cried watching Ella scoop up the child she thought she’d never see again. I cried because Carter had just given Ella what I’d promise.

  Turning back to him, I spoke, “Carter, you have any idea what you’ve just done? You’ve just saved that girls life.”

  He laughed but didn’t respond.

  “Now, please, please come here. I need you, man. We all need you.”

  His body sagged, shoulders slumped, but he took my hand and let me lead him to the open hatch where, I assumed, Ella had come through. We sat side by side, looking on as Ella, babe in arms, navigated the wet tiles towards us.

  “Thank you, Cart-” Ella’s eyes widened in horror, looking behind me. “Look out!”

  Carter and I jumped to our feet and turned quickly, fists ready, as Jozef came climbing on to the roof. The old guy was surprisingly nimble, hoisting himself over the ledge.

  “Nice try, gentleman, but I’m going to have to ask you to come back inside now. You’re not getting out of here alive.” His sneer turned towards Ella. “Bring me the child.”

  Ella clung to Sarka. “No, this ends here, Jozef.”

  He moved quickly, using my distraction to grab me and wrap his arm around my throat, holding me to his chest. Carter didn’t think twice, and he rushed the old man, hands ready to pull him off me, and everything that happened next passed by in a watery blur.

  Jozef raised his arm to block Carter’s attack, grabbing his shirt collar. “This ends when Vladimir says it does,” he growled, using all his strength to push Carter away. There was a split second where we were all quiet, and then Carter was rolling down the tiles, plummeting towards the edge.

  Rearing my head back, I connected with Jozef’s nose, he released me, and I ran for my friend. “Carter!”

  But I was too late. My fingers brushed against his back, and then he was gone. His body was falling, flying, spiraling to the ground.

  My head snapped around, a dark, red mist descending upon my eyes. I was like an animal, roaring as I got to my feet and ran. Jozef didn’t move, and a smirk played out on his lips as I tackled him to the floor, legs straddling his skinny chest. I rained down blow after blow on his face. “Ella, go, run!!”

  “Jax, no, I’m not leaving you.” Ella cried.

  Blood burst and oozed from Jozef’s bottom lip, but he continued to smile. “Stupid Murdoch,” he grinned. I felt his body moving beneath me, but I was so consumed in my rage that I paid no attention. Not until I felt a sharp, hot pain in my thigh. It took a second, and then the pain was searing. Looking down, I saw the knife sticking into my flesh, and everything inside of me wanted to let go and give him the chance to get the upper hand, but I couldn’t.

  I grabbed his shirt and slammed his head once, twice, against the roof. He stilled briefly, as though he waited for me to weaken.

  I did.

  He pushed.

  We fell together.

  And then the strangest feeling washed over me.

  The roof was growing smaller, and I could see Ella looking down at me, screaming my name over and over again.

  It was seconds of pure terror. The kind where you can’t even holler or cry out.

  And then nothing.

  Darkness.

  Black.

  Epilogue

  Ella - Four Weeks Later.

  Sarka was sleeping, wrapped up in blankets that once belonged to Jaxon and his sister, thumb in her mouth, her chest moving up and down as she dreamed. My heart was fit to burst. Standing in the doorway, I watched for a while, as I had done since coming here, not wanting to waste a moment with my daughter. There was a soft, warm glow coming from the light plugged in at the wall in the shape of a cloud, and from here, I could make out her perfect profile, her tiny button nose, pouting lips wrapped around her digit, long eyelashes that fluttered against her cheeks.

  I couldn’t believe she was mine.

  It had been a hard four weeks since leaving Vladimir’s. Sarka, although she slept well, was extremely nervous throughout the day. We were making progress, though, no matter how slow, and that’s all I wanted. She was starting to initiate play with me, throwing herself on my lap and passing me a doll she wanted me to bring to life. Oh, the hours I spent just sitting there with her, getting lost in our little world. She had rolls of fat on her arms and legs, but she was still quite underweight, hardly eating anything I’d offer her, but Archie and Nancy were helping us. They’d taken us both under their wing, and I would never be able to thank them enough. They trusted in my abilities as a mother, supporting me and encouraging when needed, but also giving us space to bond.

  It was going to take a long time, but I was determined to erase the last two years spent apart from her.

  Archie appeared beside me, smiling softly. “Come on, you need to eat, sweetheart.” He gave me a fatherly pat on the back. “She’s out for the count.”

  I returned the smile. “I’ll be down in a moment.”

  Archie nodded and padded down the hallway.

  I can’t imagine how strange it must have been for him and Nancy to have a baby sleeping in the crib that Jax once lay his head in, the room had changed since 1989, of course, but Nancy had insisted on using it, purchasing a new mattress, and then giving me a huge bag full of Kendra’s baby clothes.

  Not being able to resist, I crept back into the room once more, kissed my fingers, and gently placed them against Sarka’s warm cheek; she didn’t even stir.

  In the kitchen, Archie, Nancy, and Kendra were sitting around the table, a huge serving dish of spaghetti and meatballs sat in the middle, and Kendra smiled and patted the chair next to her.

  “I’m afraid you’ve got the pleasure of sitting next to me tonight,” she grinned, pouring me a large glass of wine.

  The family chattered as Nancy served, the smell rose into the air, and my stomach rumbled, although it would take me a long time to get used to eating such generous portions. Archie passed me the plate of garlic bread, and I took just one piece.

  “How’s Carter doing?” I asked Kendra. His name felt strange on my tongue, I still hadn't dealt with or grieved for Marnie. Any time I thought of her, the memories and emotions would choke me.

  I was trying to understand Carter's actions, but there was only so much I could deal with at once.

  Her face fell a little, and her jaw clenched the way Jax’s did. “Not too good, babe. His body is fighting, but it’s his mind I’m worried about.”

  Archie sighed before taking a long sip of wine. “You’re doing right by him, Kend, he needs someone like you.”

  I didn’t know the entire story, but it was apparent that Kendra and Carter had grown close during his stay here. She visited him every single day, she sat at his bedside and held his hand, whispering things only for his ear.

  “He’ll be just fine,” Nancy said. “You watch. That young man is made of strong stuff.”

  Kendra sniffed. “I know, I just wish he’d talk to me. I know he’s listening, now and then I’ll say something and I see just this glint in his eyes, but his face gives away nothing. When I think he’s going to speak, the nurse comes in and gives him more pain relief; there’s no chance of him talking then.”

  I nibbled on my food, replaying th
at night in my mind. It was still so raw, the images of both Carter and Jaxon plunging to the floor.

  I shuddered.

  The house phone rang, Archie got up and excused himself.

  “Are you sleeping okay, Ella? Are the tablets helping?” Nancy asked me.

  I nodded. “Yes thank y-”

  “Ella, it’s the hospital. They want to speak to you.”

  My heart sunk. I wiped my mouth clean and hurried into the hallway. Archie was white, and I shook my head, tears filling my eyes.

  “Hello?”

  “Good evening, is this Ella-May Williams?” Came the voice from the other end.

  Nancy and Kendra came out, arms clinging to each other.

  “Yes, that’s me.”

  “This is the doctor from the SP General hospital, and I’m in charge of overseeing Jaxon’s care.”

  The room was spinning; my heart hammered inside my ribcage.

  “It’s good news, Miss Williams. Jax is awake. If you’d like to come and visit him tomorrow, the visiting hours are from ten until midday.”

  The phone slipped from hand, and I half laughed, and half cried.

  “What? Ella, what’s happened?” Kendra said, holding my shoulders to stop me falling to the floor.

  “He’s awake, Jax is awake.”

  The drive to the hospital the next day seemed to take an age. I couldn’t even lose myself in the view passing by as we zipped down the highway, my thoughts too consumed with Jaxon and seeing his eyes again.

  The last four weeks had been touch and go, and the hospital had put him into a medically induced coma due to the swelling on his brain, not to mention all the injuries he’d sustained across his entire body: broken hips and ribs, a punctured lung, fractured arms in several places. They said it was a miracle he survived, every organ inside of his body had taken a beating, too.

  The damage to his spine was still being determined.

  But he had lived.

  He was awake.

  The doctor on the phone hadn’t gone into much detail once Archie had finished the conversation. He was critical, yet stable and yesterday had been the first time he’d opened his eyes since the fall. He was now off oxygen and breathing by himself, although he’d need constant care, around the clock, and monitoring of an obsessive nature.

  That was fine with me.

  I couldn’t lose him.

  Sarka babbled happily beside me in the car, Kendra was quiet, Nancy couldn’t stop crying, but Archie focused on getting us all there in one piece.

  After twenty minutes, we were pulling into the parking lot of Spring Fountain General Hospital. A beautiful white building with enormous, pristine windows, an ambulance bay near a set of double doors separate from the entrance.

  The car had barely come to a stop before I was unbuckling my belt, asking Kendra if she would mind watching Sarka for me and running across the road to the main doors.

  They automatically opened, and a crisp, air-conditioned open space welcomed me. People mulled around dragging poles that carried their IV bags; porters were pushing empty beds through the corridors behind the reception desk, the P.A system buzzed with voices.

  A young blonde lady say behind the desk, her uniform was blinding white, and she looked up at me with a welcoming smile. “How may I help you?”

  “My name’s Ella Williams; I’m here to see Jaxon Murdoch. He’s in intensive care.”

  She tapped away at the computer and directed me where to go.

  “Thank you!” I breathed, rushing over to the elevators, reaching it just as it opened.

  I made my way through long hallways, dodging people as I rushed through them, eyes reading the signs overhead. A few moments later, I reached the ICU reception.

  “Jaxon Murdoch,” I panted.

  “Room six, sweetie.” The receptionist said, pointing behind me.

  I gasped. Several of Archie’s men were standing outside room number six. The hospital administrator knew the Murdoch’s, meaning special privilege was awarded, and for that I was grateful.

  Vladimir was still out there.

  Placing a hand on my stomach to calm the nerves, I approached the men. They stepped aside, giving me a nod of acknowledgment, and my hand rested on the door handle.

  Breathe, Ella.

  “Go on, hon. You’ll be okay.” Said a soft voice beside me.

  A nurse appeared and walked into the room.

  As the door swung open, tears fell down my cheeks, splashing on my top.

  Jax had never looked so small. His entire body with wires trailing everywhere, a needle sticking in the back of his left hand, drips hanging from bags, cast over both legs, his face was thinner now, but his eyes. Oh, my those eyes.

  Dark eyes found mine, and I cried.

  “Ella,” he croaked, a whisper if that.

  I rushed to him, mindful of the wires, and the nurse stood aside, taking notes. “Oh, Jaxon.” I held the tips of his fingers and stroked them.

  “You can give him a kiss, sweetie, just go easy on him.” The nurse tucked her pen in the breast pocket of her scrubs and left us alone.

  “Ella,” he croaked again.

  I kissed his lips as softly as possible. “Shh, shh,” I cooed, wiping the tears away.

  “I l-love you, bird.”

  “I love you, too, so, so much.” I kissed him once more.

  I spent hours with Jaxon that morning, we sat in silence for most of it, but my hand never left his, and I watched him drift in and out of sleep, and while I took in the sight of him so broken and beaten and bruised, I knew that this wasn’t the end. Not while Vladimir had breath in his lungs.

  I had this beautiful man, and his incredible family, and a wonderful daughter who I was only just getting to know, I’d be damned if I'd let the Chrobak’s beat us.

  No.

  We may have escaped, Jax may have woken up, but we weren’t finished. Not by a long shot.

  I wanted to see them all burn. I wanted Purgatory to become a pile of ash and rubble and the souls of all those who died at Vlad’s hand to be set free.

  I closed my eyes and braced myself for the impending war.

  I’m coming, sweet husband, I’m coming.

  The End

  To Be Continued…

  Acknowledgement

  Wow! My first ever acknowledgement.

  To every single family member: thank you for always encouraging my weirdness. Mum, for letting me sing and dance and reenact films to my hearts' content. Dad, for letting me watch you play Resident Evil, (sorry mum!) Thank you both for encouraging me to always be unapologetically myself. You are incredible parents; I am beyond lucky to have you.

  To Dean, my stepfather, who had to deal with me during my angsty, moody teenage years, who has spent countless hours talking to and supporting me during tough times. Thank you.

  To all my wonderful grandparents, including Nanny Hilda and Grandad David who are no longer with us, but who I think of all the time. You were both so incredibly strong and I'm lucky to have known you and had lots of cuddles with you. Nanny Maureen, thank you for attending all the plays I'd put on in the garden, for letting me dress up in your high-heels and prance around like a princess. Nanny Pat, thank you for the endless hours spent playing Snakes and Ladders, for letting me draw and design wedding dresses over every single notepad you owned, for introducing me to The Mummy, for being the first home my son ever had.

  To my friends. My weirdos. My people. Rebecca, thank you the memories, the laughs, the support and everything in between over the years. For you and Claudia both coming to my rescue more than once. Thank you. A punk and a chav shall live on in my heart forever. Michaela, thank you for embracing my weirdness, for the many weekends spent making bad music, (I can't strum up!!) obsessing over Busted, drinking Dr Pepper by the gallon, the red shirt/bed ghost. But thank you both for being the light in the darkest of times. I am forever grateful to have you both in my life.

  To every person that has doubted and hated me over
the years - thank you.

  To my YouTube family - Stephen, Joy, Beth, Elle, Chad, Mike-El, thank you for giving this Carlos-obsessed attention seeker the time of day, for the laughs and companionship I spent years missing out on, for putting a smile on my face, for making me feel like a part of something again. Last, but by certainly no means least, my person, the one with the voice I quite often gush over, whose messages have helped me more than he'll ever know, who has been through his fair share of heartache and grief, Dana. Thank you. You are the Foxes to my Biscuits, and I snort for no-one else in the world.

  To my darling son, Harrison. There are absolutely no words to convey just what you mean to me. Thank you for blessing my life with your beautiful soul, the smiles, the kisses and cuddles, every 'I love you, mama,' you have kept me strong when I felt my weakest. You are my dream. My life. My heart. I hope that one day I'll make you as proud of me as I am of you. I love you, my darling.

  And to everyone who picked up, (or downloaded,) Purgatory. I do hope you enjoy it, it's by no means the only story I have coming out, but thank you SO much.

  XO HMS XO

  About The Author

  Hayley M Smyth

  Hayley M Smyth was born in Margate, Kent, a year after Only Fools filmed The Jolly Boys Outing, to parents Alan and Denise.

  Around the age of five the family moved to South East London.

  The earliest memories Hayley has of writing, is being inspired by the popular video game, Resident Evil, a game she'd watch her father play, much to her mum's dismay, and from there a love of writing was born. For years she would write short horror stories and thrust them upon unsuspecting English teachers in secondary school, (who always humored her and read them!)

  After having her son in 2012, Hayley took to writing once more, and from this, plus a long and arduous battle with anxiety and depression, Purgatory was born. A huge lover of all things dark and delicious, and love stories that do not come easy to the main characters.