by Eva Priest
At least she wasn’t in heat. I was slightly worried that she was about to start, the way her scent had changed earlier, but I was glad to be wrong. At least when Solana chooses me—I wouldn’t entertain any other outcome—it would be with eyes wide open.
Speaking of which, my lovely new mate was awake again. Gaze hungry as she stroked down my body, making delicious sounds of pleasure as she touched me. I coiled the long fall of her hair around my hand, and craned her head back so I could see into her eyes.
Her pupils were blown out with pleasure. I could see the stars dancing inside of them.
I very slowly added just a touch more pressure and licked her pulse and sucked the flesh there until she trembled against me.
Slick, hot and sweet, pooled between her legs, and I wanted to lose myself inside her again.
She had other ideas and swallowed me down. I tracked her movements, up and down, up and down, until I couldn’t stand it any longer. I pulled her off me crushing her clever mouth against mine. Sweeping my tongue inside of her, she straddled me as I thrust my hips up into her inviting body.
She scored her nails over my chest, and I savored every mark she put on my body. She gave me more than I ever thought possible with a fate-mate, and though we didn’t bond, she already gave her soul over to me.
I just needed to convince her mind.
14 SOLANA
We were ensconced in our own mini paradise for over a day. No wonder they fed us.
Cade would have been more than happy to stay there, but I started to feel self-conscious. “We could always have the food delivered,” he suggested.
Damn, that was tempting. Wearing clothes was a damn hassle. And underwear? Why bother when it would be destroyed in moments.
But no, I wanted to talk to the doctor and see how Raina was doing. I needed a new normal, as much as a life of pleasurable decadence sounded a million times preferable. I had an identity. A life. Goals outside of being drilled by Cade on every available surface.
And I definitely wanted to be more than just Cade’s new found mate.
There were sly looks that stopped as soon as Cade’s rumbling growl cut through the room. The low tones opened a geyser within me.
Zann had given me a suppressant for my heat and I was still so damn horny. I couldn’t imagine what I would have been without it.
“What do my medical scans read?”
“For all intents and purposes? Normal.”
Normal. Well, considering I felt the opposite of normal, I felt like that assessment was strange.
“Do you have any insight into that pandora strain they might have mentioned?”
Zann sighed. “I don’t have anything yet. And as can be imagined, comparing yours and Raina’s genetic profile is rather tedious. So far, Raina is still in a protective coma. Nothing seems to be wrong with her physically, but she’s still unconscious regardless.”
Hearing that made me feel so guilty. There was no reason for her to be down when I was fine. “If I can be of any help at all, just let me know, all right?”
“Of course. You’ve already helped more than you know. Being able to study your genetics is already helping us understand what has happened to us and Raina in particular. We’ll find out what the Kridrin were doing.”
And just like that, I was dismissed again.
Man, maybe it was just me.
I found a quiet corner of the ship. It was a viewing deck. The onboard computer rattled off the current temperature and speed, along with brief info-bites about nearby stars and sectors. For all that I would normally gobble up all that extraneous data, it all felt so insignificant.
I felt insignificant.
Cade’s warmth rushed through our shared unity bond, before he made his presence known. I turned toward him as he entered. “There you are, my mate.”
For the first time since I’d known him, he seemed unsure of himself. What the hell was wrong with me? All he had ever offered me was love and comfort and here I was being an ass and only thinking about myself. I reached my hand out to him in invitation, and to my relief he took it.
“I’m sorry, were you looking for me?”
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I think it is safe to say that I am always looking for you. And here I find you sad and alone. That will not do for my mate.”
I scoffed. “I’m not allowed to be sad?”
“Of course you are; so long as I’m allowed to make you happy.”
“Dude, you’re so not real.”
“Why? Because I want my mate to be happy? What kind of people have you been with?”
My laugh was hollow. “Admittedly horrible people.”
“Clearly.” Cade lifted me placed me in his lap. “Those people are no longer here. I’m here with you, and you can feel as sad or as happy as you want to be.” He wrapped his arms around me and I felt whole again.
After a while I pulled away from him so I could look up at him. “There is no going back for me, is there?”
“Is that what’s made you sad, kitten? Do you wish to return to Earth?”
Did I? There really wasn’t anything there for me, aside from my job. I loved what I did, but not who I worked with. Even then, the biggest push for me to go back home was the idea that no one would know how the team died. No one would know what had happened to me.
I shouldn’t care so much. After all, it wasn’t like I was close to any of them. Hell, Zann and Talus knew more about me than they did, and they weren’t even from Earth.
“No. Well, yes, but not really. I don’t know what I want.”
He grew quiet for a moment. “Do you want to choose another mate?”
“Of course not!” I bit my lip. I probably should have told him I did. That way he could go and find someone who wasn’t as messed up as me. “I mean, I probably should have just lied and told you yes so you could go and find someone better. But I don’t want anyone else.”
“Good. Because there wouldn’t be anyone else for me. I’m yours, whether you want me or not.” He peppered my forehead with kisses.
It took a moment, distracted as I was with his touch. But then, his words finally sunk in. “What do you mean that you are mine, whether I want you or not?”
He took my hand in his, kissing each fingertip between words. “It means that there’s no one else for me in the entire universe. Now that I’ve found you, you’re it.”
I curled my fingers into my palm so he could stop distracting me with kisses. He huffed at my closed fist nestled in his hand. “We didn’t bond or whatever, did we? I thought that was a special process?”
“Yes, it is. We would claim each other, speak vows, and you would bite me to mark me. I would do the same to you. We would then be bonded.”
“Okay, but we didn’t do any of that, so why would you be beholden to me?”
He looked at me as if trying to figure me out. “It’s the nature of fate-mates, I suppose. Once Fate in her infinite wisdom reveals our mates, we don’t want anyone else. Females are able to walk away from the unity bond. It’s rare but it happens. The males end up succumbing to what we call deliria amoronta.”
“That doesn’t sound like a spa treatment,” I said.
Cade smiled. “Not quite. It means the males end up becoming less sentient, more feral. Soon, the deliria would be so intense, they would be best served as cannon fodder in the front lines of battle.”
I opened my mouth to speak, and found I had no words. “How in the hell is that possible? Why would anyone be so cruel?”
“As I said, it’s very rare. Most choose to be with their fate-mates. And that’s why I’m not worried.” He tucked me back against his body, my head under his chin. “I think I understand your frustration, Solana, and this is why I believe that you are indeed my mate. Rodinians love to roam. We are restless wanderers, and so make great allies for The Legion. We don’t suppress our nature. We use it as a strength.”
The understanding that I felt coming from him was better tha
n any balm I could have imagined, and I had already imagined a lot.
He continued. “If you want to return to Earth, we can. We pass by every so often. I will be honest with you, I hate the run. Hate it. The elder gates are rough terrain to slide through. But for you, I would do it. It’s no trouble at all.”
My heart swelled and I wrapped my arms around his massive chest as best I could. Since he wasn’t letting up on his hold, it was hard, but I managed. “You mean that?”
“Of course. It’s such a small feat, and if it would make you happy, I would do it.” He was quiet again. “Yet I still feel like that may not be enough for you to accept our bond fully.”
“I just want to make sure that this is my choice. That I’m not being ruled by my hormones or manipulation. I wanted to be able to choose you.”
A gentle hand lifted my chin. “You did have a choice. You found me. Before this.” He gestured to indicate the spaceship, aliens, whatever. “In the quiet of your deepest need, you asked the universe for something. And my soul answered.”
My eyes welled with tears. Before they fell, he kissed them away.
“You don’t need to make any decisions now. You have time. We have time.”
“But, I thought the deliria gets worse over time.”
“It does but that time is not now.”
Okay, I wasn’t the type of woman to be easily swayed by reverse psychology. And I kind of was the type to be annoyed by the ones who were. Especially when I am aware of said reverse psychology.
But dammit. From him, it didn’t feel like I was being played. It felt very much like he was one thousand percent genuine. And honest. And what the hell was wrong with me because even though my heart was full to bursting, my breath couldn’t come in fast enough. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say the words that I knew he needed me to say.
I opened my mouth to speak but Cade placed a gentle finger against my lips. “I don’t want you to say something you would regret. I can feel your emotions warring inside of you. The fact that you are even considering being my mate after what you’ve been through is a gift in and of itself.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not. Whatever you decide, whenever you decide, I’m here. After all, I’m already yours.”
We spent an hour holding each other in the observatory deck before Cade was called to the engineering bay to meet a now-conscious Silar Praxis.
I decided to return to medical and distract myself there. I already regretted my decision not to bond myself immediately to Cade, and I made it less than an hour ago. I wouldn’t have thought myself overly sentimental, but with all that happened, it made sense to get some distance. Some space so I could think things through.
After all, that was what I was good at, wasn’t it? Observing, analyzing, and coming up with logical conclusions?
Ugh, then why did I hate myself so much right now? My body felt like it was missing a vital organ and didn’t know how to react. I’d only met Cade, what, a day ago, and it was like I’d just gouged out a vital piece of me.
I never felt regret leaving before. Not my sterile childhood home, not any of my past relationships. Didn’t this prove my point? That I would just get hurt anyway? I would be saving myself some huge heartache if something else happened down the line.
I wanted to say yes. I have never known peace as when I was with him. But it was crazy to want to commit to a lifetime when we had just met.
Then why did it feel like my heart has shattered into a million pieces at the thought of living without him? Why did it feel like I’d known him my entire life?
This was stupid. I was being a slave to my hormones. When I decided, I wanted to know that it was mine to make, free and clear.
My inner voice taunted me. You know that you’re just delaying the inevitable? You want to go to him. You are just afraid of wanting something so much.
I was trying to shield myself from future pain, but I was already miserable. I started laughing my ass off. Laughing until I started sobbing right there in the middle of the corridor.
“Solana?” A feminine voice called out to me. It was Zann.
I wiped my face as she rushed over concerned. “I can call for Reaper Lonza to help you.”
For being a brilliant medic on board a smuggling vessel, she was extremely kind-hearted. She had an easy smile to her face, even when she woke from a tortured coma. Her golden eyes scanned me, as if she could gauge my vital signs without her handheld scanner.
“No, thank you. I just realized something stupidly simple, and got a little carried away.”
Her smile was brilliant. “Oh, I get that way too, sometimes. When I’m so frustrated at a problem, and then all of a sudden, poof, the answer appears like it was just magic! Kind of like right now, when I wondered where you were, and then poof! I found you!”
That was an odd thing to say, and I waited to hear her explain herself with a smile frozen on my face. “You were looking for me?” I prompted. “Did you need my help with something? More tests?” I finally looked at what she held in her hand. It wasn’t a scanner, it was a blaster. “Where were you off to with that?”
Zann looked at what she held as if it was a surprise to her. “This? Oh, I’m not sure. For some reason, I was holding it, and thought, huh, maybe I should return it to one of the crew.” And then her laughing face morphed into something else—blank and distant, with silver coating her eyes.
Shit.
“Zann?” I asked carefully, backing away from the woman. Whatever was going on was not normal.
The kind face and laughing eyes contorted in pain. Zann gasped a little as a shiver overtook her. “Solana. Get your mate.” The last word cut off as if something had overtaken her brain.
Shit shit shit.
A hand with a vice grip curled around my upper arm. “You will come with me. I don’t want you damaged.”
I stomped on her instep and lashed out to target her throat, shifting my weight into my punch. She went down with a satisfying gurgle. At least I was finally able to put my self-defense classes to good use.
I snatched the blaster from her hand and ran. I didn’t want to hurt her more than necessary, but it was clear that Zann was no longer in control of herself. Most of the crew were in the medical bay or the mess hall. But, the other Reapers were in engineering awaiting the arrival of The Legion. They were closer, and would know what to do.
I turned a corner and felt like I ran into a brick wall. A familiar feeling of dread numbness overtook my body, blackness overtaking me before I could see my attacker.
As a weightlessness slipped over my body, my last thought was for Cade.
15 CADE
Silar Praxis lived up to his reputation and managed to live to fight another day. What started as a mini-toast to celebrate his return to the land of consciousness quickly devolved into getting shitfaced drunk.
Somehow, he managed to wheedle Solana’s story out of me. “Stars, that’s rough.”
I knocked back another shot of a specialty drink called tequila. It warmed my insides, but did barely anything else. Couldn’t say the same for Silar Praxis who swayed in his seat. “Zat mean you’re gonna die?”
“No, it just means she needs time to think. That’s all.” I’d give her all the time she needed. She was mine. Her body and soul already know it. It was only a matter of time before her mind caught up.
In the meantime, I intended to invade her dreams as much as she invaded my every waking moment.
Dorn hailed over the comm. “The dreadnought approaches, Cade.”
“That’s our cue.” I raised the glass to Silar, who did the same and we knocked it back together. “You’re only needed for questioning. You have nothing to worry about.”
“Says you. You don’t have a bunch of drones on your ass hauling you to Legion command.”
I barked a laugh, and leaned in conspiratorially as a tier one team of Legion soldiers teleported onto the Lucky Duck
. “At least those drones follow their commands to the letter. Reapers have some leeway.”
He stilled. “What does that mean?”
“It means that bringing you in alive was optional. And believe me, there were times that I nearly took that option.” I smiled, showing all my teeth.
I had the pleasure of seeing the color leave his face entirely. The yellow of his eyes turning a sickly shade. “You’re a scary guy, you know that?”
I winked at him. It was at that moment that the team leader stepped up to assess the smuggler extraordinaire before dismissing him and turning his attention to me. “Problems, Reaper Lonza?”
“Plenty, but none of them here.” I eyeballed him. “Who are you again?”
“Rhys Desai, Captain of the Dauntless. Are you referring to your fated one? The rumors are true. Tell me, is she truly an omega?”
I didn’t like volunteering any information about Solana, even to one who was designated an ally. Even though in my heart Solana and I are bonded, the fact was, I had still to claim her. Until she yielded to my claim, anyone could court her attention.
I snarled, a warning growl in the back of my throat.
“Geez, even I know not to mess with a Rodinian and his mate.” Silar Praxis rose from his seat. “Let’s get this over with. The sooner I leave, the sooner I get back to a ship that isn’t destroyed by your alpha chest pounding.”
The other man set his lip in a grim line. “I was merely curious. Commander Batair gave explicit instructions to ensure her safety.”
My voice dropped to a lethal tone. “Did he?”
“His intentions are honorable, Reaper Lonza. Besides, he might have been mistaken. I do not scent her, and bonded or no, I would know if an omega were near.”
I wanted to ignore his words as the simple ruse they seemed to be to get me to reveal Solana to him. But I realized that the tether that I’d felt as a backdrop seemed more faint than usual.
