by Raathi Chota
“Sorry,” he mumbled. I looked over my shoulder to see Levi. He let out a deep sigh as he awkwardly scratched the back of his neck.
“Look, err…we’re sorry again for yesterday. We didn’t mean the stuff we said about you being a whore and slut,” Levi mumbled.
“We never said whore or slut, but we were thinking it,” Blake added.
“You guys fucking suck at apologies,” I muttered. “You apologize every damn time yet you still find a way to fuck up.”
“Well, Parker made it sound like you two were boning. He literally said you kept each other happy.” Blake raised his voice.
“The problem is you believed him. It shows that you’ll believe someone you barely know without even asking for my side of the story!” I exclaimed.
“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for always fucking up. We’re sorry for always fucking up your life!” It was the first time Blake shouted at me, and it frightened me. I was used to Levi and Miranda, but not Blake Gunner. He always spoke in a neutral or hoarse tone. A vein stuck out in his neck as he yelled, his eyes bloodshot, probably from the lack of sleep, and he smelled of cigarettes along with Levi. “We’ll make it up to you, baby girl,” he whispered after he calmed down. I folded my arms as I stared at them. I was not his baby nor his girl.
Levi’s eyes widened as he approached Blake. He whispered in his ear as Blake smirked. It intrigued me how Blake’s cold expression changed within a minute. His smirk seemed to grow as he locked eyes with me. I squinted my eyes as Levi continued to whisper. Blake slowly bit his lip as he eyed me up and down. I felt uncomfortable as I wrapped my arms around my body and waited.
After a minute, Levi was done, and they smirked. “Well, you know what they say, actions speak louder than words.”
I squinted my eyes because I didn’t know what they were up to. Levi awkwardly coughed, then walked upstairs. “You hungry?” Blake asked as he walked to the kitchen.
“Err…yeah, but this is my house. I should be asking you that,” I said as we entered the kitchen.
“Sorry for trying to be thoughtful, nerd,” he said, then walked to the fridge. “I’m hungry too, so I’ll just whip up something.”
“Whip?” I asked as I propped myself up on the counter. I couldn’t help but think of his change in moods. I didn’t like to be angry at them, and they knew that. I watched as Blake rummaged through my fridge and took out random stuff, then shut the door. He spun around with a smirk plastered on his face. He took off his leather jacket and placed it next to me.
“Whip.” He wiggled his brows. I watched as he pulled his sleeves up of his Iron Maiden crewneck. He walked toward me, but I raised my leg and placed my foot on his chest.
“Kinky,” I stated, and Blake threw his head back and laughed. His hand wrapped around my ankle as the other went on my calf. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Levi walk down, but he went into the living room. I felt a sudden tickle as I turned back to see Blake stroke my calf. I jerked away, and he used it as a chance to step in between my thighs. I placed my hands on his chest to push him away, but he didn’t move an inch as he looked down.
“Is the mark still there?” he asked. I glanced down to see him caressing my thigh.
“Obviously,” I said, then shoved him away from me. He chuckled then stood next to me and made sandwiches. I looked straight out the window and noticed our backyard was covered in snow.
“Why did your dad drop you off?” Blake suddenly asked. I shrugged my shoulders as I swung my legs back and forth by the island.
“Just.”
“Just…” He trailed off as I sighed.
“James is back. Well, the guy who was in my room,” I stated. I thought I’d get a reaction out of Blake, but he continued with the sandwiches.
“How do you know that?”
“Miranda and I saw him last night. She said I have to tell my dad, so I did.”
“Now what?”
“Now…we wait.”
After a few more minutes, Blake was done with the sandwiches. I glanced to see various little pieces of bread with the crust off and cut into stars.
“Wow.” I laughed as I picked one and ate it.
“Made by yours truly.”
“They’re cut so perfectly.”
“Thanks.” He chuckled then ate one. Levi entered the kitchen in his coat. He tossed us our beanies and gloves. I gave him a questioning look as he approached us, then took a sandwich.
“We’re gonna play in the snow!” he cheered, then walked to the back door. “Come on, Keene!”
I looked over my shoulder to see Keene enter the kitchen with a pissed look.
“Hey, when did you get here?” I asked as he leaned against the counter.
“Before you, and what friends you are!” He gestured to Blake and me. Levi was already outside doing God knew what.
“What?” Blake and I asked in unison.
“I was locked up for three fucking days with that stupid-ass clown. None of you came to get me,” Keene said as my eyes widened.
“I didn’t know,” I admitted. “If I did I would’ve co—” I was cut off when something was thrown at the window. Keene spun around as we watched Levi.
“Come on!” he yelled as he threw another snowball. Blake let out a sigh as he took the last two sandwiches. He put the one in his mouth then stared at the other. I gave him a weird look as he looked at me, then the sandwich. He took the sandwich in his hand and stuffed it in my mouth, then ran out. I threw my hands up in exasperation and let out a groan as I ate the sandwich. I glanced over at Keene, who stared at me.
“What?”
“I…err…they told me what happened yesterday,” he mumbled. I looked down because I didn’t want to talk about it. Keene stepped closer and stood between my thighs. “When Parker told us at the party, I didn’t think it was true. I know you, Lana, and you wouldn’t go for a weirdo like him.” Keene ruffled my hair. I glanced up at him to see a confused look fill his features. He let out a sigh as he placed each hand on either side of the table and looked up at me. “This all my fault. I shouldn’t have given you those pills at the beginning of junior year. Then you wouldn’t have been raped by him.”
“It’s my fault for letting him do that to me.” I sighed, and he shook his head.
“It’s understandable that you couldn’t tell anyone. I get it; everyone expects you to be the perfect girl with straight A’s and always listening to your parents. It’s hard because you’re put under pressure to be this type of person when you just want to be yourself.”
Keene looked down as I watched his brown hair fall in his face. He was much more responsible than Levi. He was the mom out of our trio of him, Levi, and me. He was a foster kid who was removed from his dad and went to many foster homes. I didn’t know what happened to his mother, though. During the past few years, he brought himself up, then got a casual job and shared an apartment with someone.
“How many times did he…” Keene trailed off.
“Only once…the rest was harassing,” I mumbled.
“Why didn’t you just stop taking the pills?”
“I don’t know; I just wanted to get away from everything…from everyone. I didn’t mean to hurt the people I cared for.”
“It’s not your fault, Lana,” he said, then looked over his shoulder at Levi and Blake. “It’s ours; we did this to you.”
“No, it’s my fault. You guys just wanted to show me the fun side of life. I took advantage of it and did all this shit.”
“Lana, we’ve all done things we’ve regretted.”
“Yeah, and I’ll always hate myself for that,” I stated. Another snowball was thrown at the window. Levi and Blake’s heads popped up as they squinted at the two of us.
“When you two are done boning, we’d like to play,” Levi yelled as he looked at the position Keene and I were in. Keene flipped him off as I wrapped my legs around his waist and locked my arms around his neck. He gave me a piggyback ride all the way out to the backyard.<
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“Shit, it’s cold,” he grumbled as his grip tightened. Out of nowhere, a snowball was thrown at us. I looked up to see Levi and Blake were on the other side.
“Take cover!” I yelled as they threw snowballs. Keene ran as I used my one hand to hold on and the other to dodge the snow. He stopped behind a tree and put me down. In unison, we glanced around the tree and realized they’d built a fort. “They’re so childish. Why can’t we go inside and drink some hot cocoa?” I asked as we turned back to lean on the tree.
“Actions speak louder than words,” Keene stated, then crouched down to make snowballs. I raised a brow because Blake said the same thing.
“Are you guys up to something?” I asked.
“Nope, just having fun.” He grinned, then dragged his fingers in the snow. “Suck on these balls, dipshits!” he yelled, then threw the ball toward their fort. I watched as Levi raised his head to see and, on cue, the ball hit him right in the face. Keene and I laughed as Levi groaned. My hands froze throughout the game. Keene ran off to get closer to their fort. Out the corner of my eye, I saw Blake. I locked eyes with him as I roughly dragged my hands through the snow.
“There you are, nerd.” He smirked and raised his arm. Using all my strength, I threw the snowball at him. It hit him directly in the face, and he staggered back. He dropped the snowball in his hand and wiped the snow off his face. My eyes widened as I watched the snow mixed with dirt fall from his face. I got up and walked over to him as he continuously rubbed his eye.
“Are you okay?” I laughed as he cleaned his face.
“Next time, make sure you know what you’re throwing at me.” He gestured to his eyes which were red. “Because I don’t remember having stones in snowballs.”
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry.” I snickered.
“You don’t look sorry.” He crouched down and made another snowball. I did the same thing and made sure to only use snow. As I stood up, Blake marched toward me, wrapped his arm around my waist, then dumped the snowball on top of my head.
“It’s cold!” I shrieked as I wrapped my one arm around him. Using the same hand, I pulled his jeans and threw the snowball down his butt.
“Fuck!” he yelled as I squirmed out of his hold and ran away. “I’m coming for you!”
“Dude, that’s sounds so wrong in that tone!” Levi said as he walked to the other side.
“Shut the fuck up,” Blake exclaimed. I ran toward their fort since they weren’t there. I found snowballs stacked up ready to be used, and I smiled.
“Every man for himself!” Levi yelled.
“That’s not fair. She’s got all the balls,” Keene shouted as I threw them.
“Yep, I got all the balls!” I laughed as I threw at Levi. They shouted and ran around for cover. They darted toward the tree, but it was no use since they were three six-foot guys. I laughed as Keene and Blake pushed Levi in front of them and used him for cover.
***
The next few days we got ready for Christmas. I baked all my cinnamon rolls while Mom and Jade took care of the food. Dad and Richard went out to a hockey game, then got scolded by their wives because they were supposed to get ingredients. Levi, Blake, Carter, Ethan, and Keene oddly hung out with me, yet when I asked them why, they’d say the same thing: Actions speak louder than words. Benny and I went out to a cooking session where we cooked for the homeless shelters, and we had so much fun. Afterward, we spent the rest of the day there and gave out food.
It was now Christmas Eve, and I stood in front of my mirror in a pair of gray jeans, camel-colored boots, and the Christmas sweater Jade knitted me. Every second year she’d knit Levi and I matching sweaters.
“Aww, don’t you look cute,” Levi said as he stood beside me.
“Where does your mom find the time to knit these?” I looked at my red one and the blue one that he wore with a pair of black jeans and high-top Vans.
“I have no idea, but guess what? She made Uncle Griff one too.” He laughed.
“What color is his?” I chuckled as we walked downstairs.
“I don’t know, but since the both of us have elves on the front, he should be…” He trailed off.
“Santa!” I laughed. We walked in to see my dad and Richard in the living room. Dad stared at the Christmas tree that Levi and I decorated, and he instantly cursed under breath.
“You had to buy these ones?” Dad asked Levi as he pointed at the Christmas balls. Levi raised his thumb up as I squinted my eyes and looked at it. I let out a dry laugh as I read the green Christmas ball. Merry Fucking Christmas.
“Son,” Richard said as he got up from the sofa and gestured for Levi to follow him. Levi rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he followed. I gave Dad a questioning look, to which he shrugged. The doorbell rang, and my mother rushed into the living room with an apron on. She pushed a plate of cookies in my chest as I groaned.
“It’s Linda and her children. They’re doing Christmas carols. Give one to each,” she said. The oven went off, and she bolted back into the kitchen. I turned to Dad and noticed his stare on the tree.
“Who’s Linda?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I think she’s our neighbor.” He shrugged. It showed how much time we bonded with our current neighbors yet invited the ones we had from eight years ago. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi and Richard at the end of the hall. They seemed to be in an intense conversation since Richard had his arms folded as he scolded his son. Levi leaned against the wall with his arms folded, head thrown back, and eyes shut as he listened to his dad. The doorbell rang again, and I walked over with the plate of cookies. When I opened the door, I saw five children in front of me, and a woman who I assumed was Linda.
“Just like how we practiced, and no, Luke, you can’t rap,” Linda said. They sang “Silent Night,” and it was honestly the cutest thing ever. They were so short and adorable that I wanted to give the whole plate to them. Levi approached us, and I gave him a look that he ignored.
“Have a lovely Christmas,” Levi said after they finished. He took a cookie from the plate, and I smacked his hand away.
“Levi, it’s for them!” I moved the plate away from him and toward the children.
“Wait…Levi and Lana?” Linda asked as she pointed at us.
“Who wants to know?” Levi asked as he raised a brow at the woman.
“You two have grown so much! I still remember when you guys were little and used to take lemons from my tree,” she cooed.
“That’s because we started a lemon stand in the summer,” Levi stated.
“Aww, it’s so great that you two are finally together. I love the matching outfits.”
“Oh, we’re no—”
“Thank you, we just love spending Christmas together!” Levi cut me off as he slung an arm around my shoulder.
“Well, thank you and Happy Holidays!” Linda said, then grabbed a cookie.
“Merry Christmas!” the kids cheered. Levi and I said goodbye, then shut the door. I looked down and noticed the plate was empty.
“Who the fuck was that?” Levi asked.
“I think she’s our neighbor,” I stated, then walked into the dining room.
“Lana, set the table, please!” Mom yelled from the kitchen.
“Will do,” I said as I gave the plate to Levi. I walked into the dining area and noticed that the plates were stacked up along with everything else. I set on each of the eight table mats. I took out the glasses and put them out. The doorbell rang, and I saw Dad open it. He sounded happy, and there were a lot of voices to be heard. Once I was done, I walked into the living room to see Uncle Griff.
“Where’s your little lady friend?” Levi asked.
“She’ll be here soon.” He waved off then stared at Levi. “So how’s it being back in Illinois?”
“It’s cool, sometimes there are surprises, but it’s cool,” Levi responded. I gave them each a weird look as they stared at each other.
“Griffon, thanks for co
ming!” Mom beamed as she entered the room with Jade. Mom had a tray of finger food while Jade had a plate with wine.
“How was the football game?” Jade asked.
“It was gre—” Griffon cut off when Richard and Dad glared at him. “What football game?”
“Told you.” Mom laughed as I took a mini bread roll. Levi reached out to grab a glass of wine, but Jade smacked his hand away.
“Nice sweater, Uncle Griff, totally brings out your eyes,” Levi joked as we looked at the sweater Jade knitted him.
“Yeah, and yours totally brings out how little everyone thinks of you,” Uncle Griff pointed to the little elf. My jaw dropped as Levi’s jaw clenched. Griffon awkwardly laughed as everyone followed. By their odd stares, I knew something was up.
“Levi, could you please put these on the table? I know you got one,” Mom said as she held up the candles that needed to be lit. He smirked as he took the candles then walked to the table. I followed and watched as he lit each candle with his Zippo, then placed it on the table.
“Something’s wrong with Uncle Griff,” I mumbled as I stood opposite Levi.
“What makes you think that?” he asked.
“Well first, you guys didn’t do that weird handshake you always do, and second, he said ‘she.’ He always exaggerates about Jenny Rosa.” I looked over Levi’s shoulder to Uncle Griff, who smiled at my mom yet the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Or it was the look you gave each other?”
Levi looked over his shoulder to see Griffon, then turned back to face me. He forced a smile then said, “I think it’s the woman one.”
“Yes, I’ll be dishing up soon!” Mom said as she walked into the kitchen.
“I’ll help,” Griffon offered as he trailed behind her. I glanced back at Levi to see his squinted eyes. A few seconds later, my mother came out with salad and placed it on the table. Jade called her over as she walked to the kitchen but quickly spun around to join them in the living room. Levi and I shared a look, then went into the kitchen, where we found Griffon. His back was facing us as he leaned over the sink.
“She’s not coming, is she?” Levi asked as he sat by the island. Griffon spun around with a flustered look as he stared at us. He looked down and sighed.
