by Raathi Chota
“I need to talk to you.” He cut me off as he backed away. I gave him a strange look, then walked out of the house and onto the porch. Since the sleeves were long on Benny’s sweater, I pulled them as I folded my arms. “Do you like Benny?”
“What sort of the question is that? Of course I do.” I laughed.
“Do you know what he has done to you?”
“Blake, what are you…where are you going wit—”
“Answer the question.”
“Y-yes, but it only happened like three times. Most of it was teasing.”
“Yeah, but he still fucking did it,” Blake hissed as I stared at him.
“He changed for me. He promised he’d never do it again, and he’s living up to his promise, unlike others who just don’t give a fuck,” I snapped.
“I said I’m sorry. What more do you want?” he quietly asked as his eyes bored into mine.
“For you to mean it and let us have at least a week where we don’t fight,” I said. He laughed, bitter and dry, as he placed his hands on his hips. His eyes landed on me, and he stared. His features softened as he eyed me up and down.
“I like you, Lana. I like you a lot; I’m falling for you so fucking hard,” Blake confessed as I stared at him. “Even though when we’re together it’s not in the best situation, I just like having you around. I enjoy your presence. I like it when you push your glasses up, when you bite the inside of your cheek when you’re nervous. Yeah, I noticed that. When you stare at me with a blank look on your face, it…gives me time to get lost in those mesmerizing blue eyes of yours.”
“Blake, I—” He cut me off as he cupped my cheeks and continued.
“Please just give me a chance. I’ll treat you so much better, baby girl. You of all people deserve a happy ending, and I’ll be glad enough to give it to you,” he whispered, then pressed his cold lips against mine. His eyes shut as he kissed me. Mine were open as I looked at his bruised eye and realized what he’s doing. His lips began to move, so I blinked, then pushed him off me.
“No! What the hell? You can’t…you can’t just do that, Blake,” I said as he gripped my wrists and stared down at me. As I looked up at him, his nostrils flared with his nose ring. He breathed hard and frowned.
“Look me in the eye so I know that night meant nothing to you. In Benny’s room, in the car, at the pool, and the motel,” Blake demanded as his grip tightened on my wrists. We suddenly stopped, and I stared at him because I knew that nothing happened at the motel. Blake’s facial features softened while he searched my face; he chewed on his bottom lip and nodded. “Well, you know what?” Blake laughed. “They meant the world to me, Lana Willson.” He let go of my wrists. “Why can’t you see that I like you?” He backed away. “You know I’m going crazy for you and everyone else knows that except for you!”
“I do see! I know that you have feelings for me. I see how you look at me and the countless times you try to kiss me. I do see, Blake. It’s just…I don’t feel.” I mumbled the last part, then looked at him. “I’m sorry, Blake. I just…you keep hurting me.”
The atmosphere was tense around us as I stared at the floor. I wanted to get inside and curl up into a ball and cry.
“What is wrong with you, huh?” he burst out as I backed away. “He’s going to end up hurting you, Lana! You’re so fucking blind and gullible!”
“You’re the one who always hurts me! He changed! He cares about me, and he changed for me!” I yelled.
“Fucking bullshit!” Blake shouted, then hit his fist against the wall. My father came outside and looked at us. Blake huffed as I sniffled. We locked eyes, and mine turned glossy as his raged with anger.
“What the hell is going on here?” Dad demanded.
“Blake was just leaving,” I whispered, and he rolled his eyes.
“Hey, don’t you freaking roll your eyes at my daughter! Get the hell off my porch!” Dad exclaimed as he stood in front of me.
“Whatever,” Blake muttered, then walked off the porch to his motorcycle. I folded my arms as I watched him get onto the bike. As he drove off, I looked at my dad. He gave me an assured look, and I nodded, then stormed into the house.
***
The next week was spent in silence since Benny wasn’t at school, so I buried myself in my books. I spent time with Miranda, Melissa, and Tiffany but never told them what happened with Blake. I never told anyone, but I knew I had to tell Benny sooner or later. Blake and Benny came back to school the following week, and everything went back to normal. Especially Blake, since he skipped classes and slept around. A rumor even went around that his house was used to have regular sex.
It was after school and the second to the last day that I could send my stuff for Yale. I gathered all the work to go to Mr. Bronx and the counselor. Benny leaned on the locker beside me and scrolled through his phone.
“You ready?” he asked as I searched my locker for one last form.
“For?” I raised a brow.
“My basketball trials. Coach is evaluating me for this one college. We talked about it yesterday.”
“Oh, I forgot. I’m sorry.” I facepalmed and backed away from my locker.
“Yeah. It’s always that, isn’t it…” Benny nodded and turned away.
“What?” I asked as I gave him a once-over.
“I never see you, babe. At lunch and after school, you’re always busy. The only time I get to see you is five minutes before class.”
“Benny, you know that I can’t help it. I’m busy thinking about my future here.” I pointed to the file with all my Yale stuff.
“Yeah, but what about our future? You never have time for us anymore,” Benny murmured, then pushed himself off the lockers. “But you make time for him…” he added as he leaned on the lockers opposite me. I gave him a questioning look. He grunted and took his phone out. I paled when I saw the picture of Blake and me when we were at the paint party on New Year’s.
“Benny, I was drunk. I didn’t even kno—”
“Do you know how worried I was when you weren’t in my room? Then you sent me a text saying how you’re going home, but no, you went with them.” He raised his voice.
“They took me, and I was dru—”
“Yeah, it’s okay because you were drunk. Out with someone else, but it’s okay because you were drunk. Kissing another guy, but it’s okay because you were drunk. Whenever Lana Willson is drunk, the slut comes out,” Benny hissed.
“Wha—screw you!” I exclaimed as my jaw dropped. “When I was sober, the first thing that went through my mind was you! I wanted to be with you! I never cheated on you. Do you think I’d do that?”
“Well, considering he likes you…I just don’t want to fucking lose you!”
“You won’t. It’s just school is always my first priority, Benny, and it’s not my fault that you’re grounded,” I said. He laughed.
“Well, sorry for not wanting other guys calling my girlfriend names like that,” he yelled, which echoed down the empty hallway.
“Whatever you say or do won’t stop him! Stop letting him come between us,” I shouted.
“I should stop?” he rhetorically asked, then gave me a once over. “You know what? I’m just gonna go. Call me when you have time for us.”
“I always try to! School always comes first, and you know that!” I yelled as he walked down the hallway. He held up his middle finger as my lower lip trembled. “Fuck you too, Benny Nielson!” I yelled as he walked around the corner. I tugged on my hair, then spun around. I came face to face with a clueless Carter, who looked at me, then down the hall where Benny walked.
“Is everything okay?”
“No! Ugh, why are guys so fucking confusing?”
“I don’t know how to respond to that one.” Carter awkwardly chuckled.
“Carter, what do you want? I need to go see…” I trailed off but stopped when he handed me a file.
“Here’s your test. Thanks for letting me borrow it,” he said. My left eye twitche
d as I thought Benny and I could’ve ignored the whole fight if he came sooner.
“Thank you,” I said, then shut my locker.
“Well, good luck,” Carter said, then gave me a supportive smile.
“Thanks.” I sighed, then walked down the hall to the counselor. It took an hour to get everything in order, then check if everything was okay. Uncle Griff didn’t need to come, but he came for support. Once we finished, the counselor said she’d get back to us when she heard any news.
I let out a sigh of relief as I walked out of the school doors and took in the fresh atmosphere. My expression changed when I remembered that Benny was my ride home and he was probably gone. He’s so immature, I had to always be at his games and cheer him on, but he didn’t care about my future. I huffed as I gripped my bag straps and walked down the stairs. While I decided which way to go, out the corner of my eye, I saw someone wave. When I turned my head, I saw Marcus Sanders on the soccer field. He seemed to be calling me. As I walked onto the field, I noticed he walked toward me. Yet what made my eyes pop was the fact that he wore a t-shirt, with a pair of running shorts and Nike shoes. I raised a brow at how Liam knew he had an eight-pack, but I didn’t. It was clearly visible through that t-shirt.
“Hey, Lana,” he panted.
“Err…hi, Marcus. What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I just come and practice sometimes.” He gestured to the soccer ball he had next to his feet. “And you?”
“Oh, I was just finishing some work.”
“Cool.” He nodded as I did the same.
“Yeah, I should probably get going,” I mumbled.
“Yeah…wait, you’re walking?” he asked as I spun around. I turned back around to see that he put on a sweater. He picked up the ball, then smiled at me. “I’ll give you a lift home.”
“Thank you.” I nodded and followed him.
“Come on; I just gotta go grab my things,” he said as we walked off the field and toward the building. “So Lana Willson was about to walk home. I’m assuming something happened between you and Benny?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I warily eyed him.
“Well, I saw Benny storming past me into the halls. He slammed the door by the gym, so yeah, just had a feeling.” Marcus shrugged.
“Yes, we did, but it was childish,” I mumbled.
“It was bound to happen, though. Sometimes at lunch when I ask him where you are, he just grunts,” Marcus said as I frowned.
“Have you and Miranda ever fought?” I asked as we entered the building.
“Yeah, there was this one time when I came over to her house, and she opened the door to see my hands were empty. I gave her a questioning look, and she held her phone up,” Marcus began. “I looked at my phone to see that she’d sent a message saying that she wanted tacos, but I didn’t see the message since I was driving, so we argued about that.”
I laughed because Miranda would do such a thing.
“Then there was another fight that lasted days,” Marcus mumbled as I looked at him. “It was about her mother; I didn’t want Miranda staying home alone when her mother was drunk. She told me not to worry, but I didn’t listen.”
“The only reason her mother drinks is because she still loves Miranda’s dad.” I remembered the night when Miranda and I went to go get her.
“Yeah, I understand, but fifteen years later…you’d think she’d move on by then,” Marcus said as we approached the door for the boys’ locker rooms.
“Well, Miranda told me that he made her jubilant. Also, he loved to play games, especially baseball,” I stated.
“Baseball…that’s why she wanted me to teach her how to play,” Marcus said as I tilted my head at him.
“Maybe one day when she sees him, she’ll know how to play,” I suggested.
“Yeah…then I’ll try my best,” he said, then opened the door. “I’ll just be five minutes.”
***
Fifteen minutes later, I walked through my house and put my bag on the ground. I thought the ride home with Marcus would be awkward, but we talked about Miranda. At least there was something to say. I walked into my dad’s office to tell him that I finally sent all my things in for Yale. I entered the room to see papers scattered everywhere.
“Dad?”
He peeked his head up from the desk, then stood up. He straightened his posture and walked to me with a fearsome look. From that one look he sent me, I knew there was some exciting news.
***
I drove fast yet cautious down the streets on my way to Blake’s house. I texted Aidan, and he said he was there with the other guys. Even though I didn’t want to see Blake, it was urgent. I parked by the street and got out. As I walked up the pathway, music blared through the house. I knocked on the door as loud as I could and waited. As I took out my phone, the door opened, and I glanced up to see a shirtless Blake in front of me. As I opened my mouth to speak, a girl walked next to him and placed her hand on his chest. She was in her underwear.
“Who’s she, babe?” she asked as I looked at her and Blake.
“No one you need to know,” Blake said as he squeezed her butt.
“Okay. I’ll see you at Jaden’s party this weekend, right?” she asked. He nodded, then pulled her in for a kiss. I patiently waited as I watched the two open their mouths as if to see who could swallow each other first. Scruffy was sniffing the ground. While they made out, I looked around to see a toy that belonged to Scruffy. An idea popped into my head as the corner of my mouth pulled up. I took the toy, then waved it in front of Scruffy’s face. He jumped, and I moved it around, then placed it next to the girl’s foot. I bit my lip to prevent myself from laughing as Scruffy launched at the girl’s foot and bit it. She let out a squeal and bit down on Blake’s bottom lip.
“What the fuck?” he demanded.
“Aww, Scruffy bit you,” I cooed. “It seems like he doesn’t like you, and if Scruffy doesn’t like you, then Axel won’t like you.”
“Who’s Axel?” the girl demanded, and I tried so hard not to laugh as she glared at Blake.
“Get out,” Blake grunted as he pushed her out the house. I stepped aside as I watched her walk out into the cold in her underwear. When I turned to Blake, I noticed his stare on me. He opened the door more and stepped to the side. I walked in and scrunched up my nose at the mixed odors.
“Lana, what are you doing here?” Ethan asked as he looked at Blake and me.
“I-I need to talk to you guys.” I looked at Carter and Aidan, who entered the room. “It’s quite urgent.”
Aidan nodded, then motioned us to follow him. I quickened my pace so that I was in front of Ethan and far away from Blake. Even though Benny and I fought, we were still together, right? I mean it was one serious fight. The music played as we walked past the living room. I saw Keene, Jaden, Axel, and a few other guys smoking in a room. We walked down the hall, and I scrunched my nose up from the moans. The only place that wasn’t occupied was Mrs. Gunner’s room. I wrapped my arms around myself and waited for everyone to settle. They looked at me with questioning looks as I avoided eye contact.
“Do you remember the guy who shoved the bag at you?” I asked.
“Yeah, he had black hair and brown eyes. Why?” Ethan asked.
“What did James tell you about him?” I asked Aidan.
“He just told us that he’s dead. He didn’t want to be part of it all, so he just…backed out,” Aidan replied as my jaw clenched.
“Well, my dad told me his name is Christo Aimar,” I said, then looked at Blake. “Do you remember that night when we saw James and one of his men said they miss Christo?”
“Yeah…where are you going with all of this? He’s dead,” Blake stated.
“No…my dad just told me that he might not be dead,” I whispered as their eyes widened.
“What do you mean he might not be dead? James told u—”
“Well, he might’ve lied to you. My dad just came back from visiting all the morgue
s in Illinois, and they’ve never heard of Christo Aimar before,” I said.
“Wait, but your dad told us that he came to confess, and then two days later he was reported dead,” Carter spoke up.
“Yeah, he came to confess, then went back home. Dad questioned his family, and it’s like they barely knew him,” I mumbled, then bit the inside of my cheek.
“Wait, so who reported him dead?” Ethan asked as he looked down at me.
“That’s the thing I don’t get…his family reported him dead and was facing too much grief to answer any more questions.”
“Well, James is not just a drug dealer, he’s also good with identities,” Aidan said as we looked at him. “For all we know, Christo might be alive and right in front of us.”
“So he might be alive and still in Illinois?” Blake asked as he looked at Aidan and me.
“Yeah, and I agree with Aidan. He might still be working with James,” I said, and I noticed their nervous looks. James was not done with any of us. The silence stretched between us as the only thing to be heard was the loud music. Out the corner of my eye, I noticed Blake got up from his mother’s bed.
“Well, that’s a bummer,” he stated, then swayed a bit.
“What’s gonna happen now?” Ethan asked as he looked at me.
“My dad will probably question you guys again if anything comes up.”
“Anything else?” Blake asked as he placed a hand on the doorknob. I slowly shook my head, and he smiled. I watched as he opened the door, then walked out. Carter and Ethan followed, but Aidan stayed.
“What do you think James is planning?” Aidan asked as he stared at the ground.
“I don’t know. I just hope that nobody gets hurt. How did you know that he’s good with identities?”
“Well, when we had the cocaine, I kept in contact with him the most. One of his men told me; I think it was Ernst.”
“Does Tiffany know you’re here?” I asked as I thought about the things that happened in the house.
“Yeah, I just came to hang out with my cousins and friends,” Aidan mumbled.
