by Raathi Chota
“But I wanna go to Yale with Carter,” I whined then stomped my foot. Uncle Griff laughed at my tantrum then pulled me in for a hug. I rested my chin on his shoulder as I let his muscular arms wrap around my torso. My arms dangled beside me as he patted my back.
“It’s already late so you can stay the night. I’ll let your dad know. As always, your clothes are in the guest room. Make yourself comfortable, and hey, if you’re stuck, I’m always here.”
“Thanks, Uncle Griff,” I said then picked up my bag. “Hey, who was on the phone?”
“Oh, it’s my mom. Checking in from Florida.” He shrugged then gestured to the coffee table. “Want something to eat?”
“No thanks, I’m gonna make me coffee then get right to it.” I smiled then walked down the hall to get ready for an all-nighter.
***
Every Sunday until finals, I was at Uncle Griff’s apartment. For lunch, we’d have hamburgers and fries, then he went out with a couple of friends. Benny would come over in the early evening with a couple of snacks, and even though I wanted to take the snacks from him and tell him to go, he said he didn’t buy all of it for me. So we studied together until Uncle Griff came home and caught us in the middle of our make-out session on his leather sofa.
That morning when I wrote the most important exam ever was weird. The AP Physics exam itself was quite challenging, but I managed to get through it. The second part I struggled a bit since it was long answers and problem-solving. The bell rang, and that’s when I realized the three hours went by so fast. I was the last to hand my paper in, and when I looked up, Benny was out of the room. I was about to catch up to him, but Carter told me that he had a meeting. So I followed Carter out of the classroom and caught up with our friends. I hadn’t spoken to any of them except Carter this morning before the exam because I had to ask him a few things. They stood with blank looks on their faces. I bit the inside of my cheek then rocked back and forth.
“Listen, guys, I’m sorry about the other night. I was just really…stressed and worried,” I mumbled then pushed up my glasses. I avoided my friends up until finals. Sometimes even my boyfriend. “I didn’t mean to take it out on any of you.”
I looked at them because I realized no one would talk. I turned to Aidan, who looked at everyone as if he waited for them to speak.
“It’s cool, Lana,” he said. “We got drunk anyway and forgot, but thanks for the reminder.”
“It’s okay. It’s just we all have our own way of coping, Lana,” Nick stated.
“I know, and I’m sorry. I know that you don’t wanna talk about it,” I said then looked down. “I don’t, either.”
From there we quietly walked, yet I trailed behind. I spun around to see Benny run toward me. The sleeves of his blue flannel bounced as he ran, and I laughed. He stopped, wrapped his arms around my waist, picked me up, then spun me around.
“What’s up with you?” I laughed.
“I got in.” He smiled. “I got into Boston.”
My eyes widened when his face lit up. I squealed then wrapped my arms around him.
“Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Nick told me he got in last week,” he said then bit his lip.
“That’s amazing,” I said then kissed his cheek.
“Yeah, one of the scouts were at Friday’s game, and that’s when they made their final decision,” he said then hugged me again.
“Now it’s just you and Yale, which you’re going to get into, Lana, then it’s us against the world.” I smiled. The bell rang, and everyone crowded the halls again. Benny placed a hand on my shoulder then looked down at me. “I gotta get to class, but we’re gonna celebrate soon, all right?”
I nodded, and he smiled once again. He kissed my forehead then ran down the hall. I had study hall which was on the other side of the school. It was in another building past the fields. I didn’t care though as long as Physics was done, I’d face anything.
Chapter Ten
Blake
I grabbed a towel from the laundry basket then walked down the hall. I saw someone run toward the bathroom and cursed then picked up my pace. He ran in, shut the door, and locked it as I stopped by the door.
“Fucking shit!” I exclaimed then banged on the door. Every morning I had to go through it with Levi. He laughed behind the door, and I shook my head in amusement.
“Language, Monroe,” Momma sang as she walked past me.
“Sorry, Momma,” I apologized then turned to her. “Can I use your bathroom?”
“Axel’s already in there,” she said then walked into the kitchen. I groaned then stepped back to my room. I made up my bed and took out my clothes while Levi showered. Once my room was in shape, I took out a clean shirt, jeans, and socks. Levi was finally out of the shower and in his room, which was the guest room. It was cool to have him over, but at the start, it was difficult since he’s messy. Momma raised Axel and me to be neat, so Levi had to help around the house too as well as keep his room clean. I finished my shower and had my Doc Martens on and entered the kitchen. Axel made coffee and tea while Levi set the table. They were in their work uniforms while I stuck to my casual clothes. Momma made pancakes, so I got the butter, made toast, and grabbed the juice. Five minutes later, we were at the table.
“Listen, boys, I won’t be home for dinner. I’m working late,” Momma said.
“Is that code for seeing your mystery man, Roxy?” Levi grinned beside me. I nudged him, and she laughed.
“Yeah, Momma also disappeared Friday night when Tamia came over,” Axel piped up. I turned to my mother with a skeptical look. Axel sat next to her with the same expression. Levi sat beside me and grinned like an idiot. She rolled her eyes then sipped her tea.
“It’s nothing. He’s just a friend. We’ve just had a few coffees together.” Mom shrugged as my brows rose. She looked at Axel’s and my expressions then sighed. “Boys, I still love your father. It’s just…I’ve decided to move on. It’s been four years.”
“Yeah, Momma, but we just don’t want you to make a mistake again like with that douche Kale,” I muttered.
“Blake, we never dated. Do you think I’d go for a man who has a last name like Kale and has arrested both of my sons back in Minnesota?” She pursed her lips.
“Haha, that’d be funny, though,” Levi spoke up. “Blake Kale, Axel Kale, and Roxy Kale.”
We glared at him, and he seemed to notice then returned to his food. I turned back to Momma, who finished her food.
“When do we get to meet the guy?” Axel asked.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure you’ve met him before,” Levi mumbled under his breath, but I heard him.
“I said it was a few coffee dates. Nothing serious,” Momma stated.
“Yeah bu—”
“End of discussion, Blake and Axel. I will not be having this conversation with my sons,” Momma warned. I glanced at Axel, who sipped his coffee. His eyes met mine as he gave me a look. With a sigh, I turned to Momma with a remorseful look.
“Sorry, Momma,” we said in unison.
“It’s okay. I have to go but…” She trailed off then got up. Her heels echoed against the tiles as she walked around the kitchen to her bag. She took out money then gave it to Axel. “As I said I’ll be working late, so here’s money for takeout. I better get going, or I’ll be late,” she said then took her bag. “Love you, boys.”
“Love you too, Roxy,” Levi called out. Axel and I glared at him, and he laughed.
***
When I opened my locker for the third time today, I noticed a lock of blond hair from the corner of my eye. Carter leaned on the locker next to mine as he waited for me.
“Hey, now that finals are over, what do you think we should do?”
“Well, my mom wants me to pack for that camp,” I answered. “Who the fuck wants to go to the middle of the woods for a few days? I mean we’re in Illinois, plenty of things to do.”
“Agreed.” He laughed then folded his arms. As I rearranged
my locker, I noticed that he looked ahead. I followed his gaze to see Lana as she spoke to Liam, Miranda, and Benny. “Dude, I’m worried about Lana,” Carter said, and I turned back to him. “Yale hasn’t said anything, and most of us have received news from our selected colleges.”
“Yeah, I know, I even told her that I’d stay here with her so that both of us would go to the University of Illinois.”
“Oh…well, I want her to get in, y’know. I want her there with me,” Carter said with his gaze fixed on her. “Plus, she deserves to go there with everything that has happened.”
I squinted my eyes at Carter as he tilted his head. He bit his lower lip, and I instantly squirmed.
“Do you like Lana? Because need I remind you that you were the one who was mostly committed with that bet,” I stated and watched as his face went blank. He shrugged then looked over my shoulder.
“That was in the past, okay? I’m trying to change because I don’t want to be the same Carter Halls in college. Maybe I do like her as a crush or something.”
“In other words, to bang her,” I muttered under my breath then shut my locker.
“What the hell? No. I care about Lana as much as you do,” he said. “Besides, why do you even care? It’s not like you’re her boyfriend.”
My jaw clenched as I opened my mouth to tell him off again, but someone tapped my shoulder. I whipped around to see Erwin. We had Mr. Basil’s Biology class together. His glasses sat on the bridge of his nose as he looked up at me.
“What, Erwin?” I asked then leaned on my locker.
“H-Hi, Blake,” he greeted then looked at Carter. “Hi, Carter.”
“’Sup, Erwin.”
“Hi, err…Carter, as you know, this is the last day the yearbook committee will be taking group photos and specific ones,” Erwin said as Carter nodded.
“Well, we came up with a unique section which is just a page for unique individuals, well, seniors,” he said then turned to me. “I-I suggested you, Blake.”
“I’m unique?” I scrunched up my nose. “Why’d you pick me?”
“Well, you’re nice to me, and we’re always partners in Bio, and it’s kinda fun.” He shrugged, and I heard Carter snort beside me. “Plus, you don’t care what people think about you, and you encouraged me to get a girlfriend.”
“Whoa, who’re you dating?” Carter asked.
“Bianca.” I smirked as I remembered when I saw Erwin at a party once and he looked for Bianca because he was ready to lose his virginity.
“Y-Yes,” Erwin mumbled then pushed up his glasses. “So, do you wanna be in the yearbook? For that err…section?”
“Sure, when?”
“Fifth period. Since finals are done the teachers have agreed to let us use the gym for it,” Erwin stated as his face lit up. I was about to say something but stopped when I saw Lana approach us. Her hair was straight and ended below her shoulders. She wore a plain white tee that hugged her body and outlined her breasts, loose ripped jeans that exposed bits of her legs, and I smiled when I saw her in black Doc Martens.
“Hey, guys,” she said.
“H-Hi, Lana,” Erwin said, and I noticed that they were the same height.
“Hey, Lana, heard anything from Yale yet?” Carter asked.
“Carter, would I be standing here talking to you guys if I did? I would be jumping up and down. Erwin, where are you going?” She awkwardly coughed, and I tilted my head at her behavior to change the subject.
“I got a scholarship to Princeton.” He smiled.
“Wow, congratulations!” she said then playfully nudged his shoulder. He thanked her, yet I saw the devastation in her eyes.
“Damn. You go, Erwin Chambers.” Carter grinned.
“Told you that you could do it,” I said, and he smiled at me. I still remember when we had a project together and he’d go on and on about Princeton.
“Lana, are you coming to the gym to take photos?” Erwin asked.
“Of course, Liam told me to come because of the clubs,” she answered, and I remembered her being in a debate team. The bell rang for the next period, and that’s when everyone moved. “Well, I gotta go…I have Home Economics. See you guys later.”
“Bring me back something good,” Carter called out as she laughed. He chuckled and watched her turn the corner. I held a blank look on my face when he turned to me. “What?”
***
The fifth period was busy yet, needless to say, interesting. We took our photos, and when I saw Lana, I noticed something was wrong. She looked horrible compared to earlier. She told us she somehow got high because of the girl she paired with in Home Economics. I remembered in detention there’d be a couple who always got high. It amused me to watch Lana Willson act so vulnerable.
After school, Jaden and Keene decided to come over and chill. We ended up in the basement where Keene and I played video games while Levi and Jaden smoked. Axel got takeout for us. When he finished, he went to get Tamia, and now they’re out, probably at a cage fight. Whenever Momma worked late, Axel used it as an advantage and fought. Momma didn’t like it, but he felt guilty when he didn’t go to college early, and she had to pay all the bills. Now he’s prepared to get beat up to help her.
“Blake, you coming?” Levi asked. My eyes flicked to him then back at the television.
“Little get together Saturday afternoon,” Jaden informed me. “Since the Willis twins are now in juvie, I got the house all to myself.”
“Sure.”
“Cool. What about you?” Jaden asked as he looked at Keene.
“No thanks, I’ll be busy in Noel’s room. Almost done,” Keene stated. “I’ll come by later.”
“Noel’s room is also code for Lana’s house.” Jaden smirked. Keene scoffed then shook his head.
“How is she, though? The other night she went all bitch mode.” Jaden chuckled.
“She’s fine,” Keene instantly replied. “We’ve been through shit…she’s been through shit, but we’re still breathing.”
I tore my gaze away from the television and looked at Levi. He squinted his eyes at Keene then looked at me. Ever since Noel passed away, Keene had become quieter around us and spent more time with Lana. I noticed Levi’s suspicious, and I admitted, I was too. I knew they had a brother-sister bond, but I realized Levi was sad that he couldn’t be there for Keene.
“Heard she got high today.” Levi changed the subject.
“Yeah, dude, it was hilarious.” I chuckled then turned back to the television. “She vomited right after they took the photo.”
“How’d she survive the rest of the day?” Jaden asked.
“I don’t know,” I muttered. “After the fifth period, she was in her boyfriend’s hands.”
“Ugh, I hate him,” Levi bluntly stated.
“We know.” Jaden laughed.
“I mean, why is she dating him?” Levi looked at me as if I knew the answer. “He physically hurt her.”
I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened my eyes, I noticed Keene’s grin. I turned back to the television to see that he won.
“What the fuck could he have possibly done for her to forgive him?” Levi demanded. “Or is he forcing her to date him?”
“I don’t know, man,” I admitted.
“Dude, you should’ve been there,” he said to no one then shook his head. “We always came a few days before summer break, and I remember she came home with a pain in her hip. I lifted her top and saw a big bruise. Later that night, she cried in my arms saying how much she hated him.”
“Keyword: Hated,” Keene stated as his gaze locked on the television. “Past tense.”
“Doesn’t fucking matter!” I suddenly snapped. I put the controller down, took out my lighter, then a cigarette. I lit it and inhaled even though I hated myself because I didn’t live up to the New Year’s Resolution.
“Yeah, why are you on his side?” Levi asked Keene.
“I’m not on anyone’s side. It’s just…hating him will make Lana hat
e you because I see she genuinely cares about the guy for a reason we may never know. So instead of telling Lana off the whole time, trust her. If they break up, she’ll trust you.” Keene shrugged. “She barely has trust in you anymore for some lies you’ve told Levi.”
“Damn…this guy.” Jaden laughed as he playfully nudged Keene.
“All these lies I’ve told was for her.” Levi scoffed. “This job and even being here is for her!”
“And where has that gotten you, huh?” I sarcastically smiled, and he grunted.
“I’m just patiently waiting until the day Nielson fucks up so that I can be there for her,” he said as my jaw clenched. “Like I’ve always been. I know I don’t deserve her, but…I have a whole plan for us,” he confessed. “By the time she gets into Yale, I’ll have enough money for online classes.”
“Dude, you’re whipped.” Jaden laughed, and I looked down at the beer cans on the table. “What the fuck are you saying?”
“Starting over. I thought when James injected me with heroin and when I got expelled from college that I’d have nothing—”
“You do have nothing. You’re living with me. The only things you have are your car and a guitar,” I said. Levi finished a can then slammed it down on the table.
“Don’t have to fucking rub it in,” he said. “I’m just saying maybe princess will like me for who I am. After I take the classes, maybe then I’ll have my life together.”
“Dude, just say it.” Keene cracked a smile.
“What?” Levi asked.
“I’ve been waiting almost five years for you to admit it,” Keene said. My brows rose because I knew what he meant. Apparently, Levi did too when he tried to hide a smile.
“I still might be in love with her.”
“What do you mean by still?” Jaden asked.
“I’ve always been in love with her, ever since she told me and I left. When we never spoke, that’s when I realized how much I missed and loved her…how I wanted to say it back.”
“I thought you don’t believe in love,” I grunted then pushed my cigarette into the ashtray a bit too hard.
