by Raathi Chota
“Bro, I just didn’t believe in myself, but love is weak, and it’s a game,” Levi stated then opened another can. “But I’m willing to feel something and finally end this fucking game.”
***
Benny
I stomped down the stairs and into the living room with a shirt in my hand and looked at the guys. It was Saturday, and they decided to come over and help babysit Sam since our parents went to Wisconsin for the weekend.
“Who knows how to iron this damn shirt?” I demanded.
“Dude, you’re still not ready?” Aidan laughed.
“Where you going?” Sam asked since he didn’t take his eyes off the television because he versed Liam, Aidan, and Carter.
“Lana and I decided to meet at this restaurant for a fancy date,” I said.
“Why meet up?” Carter asked.
“She was sleeping over at one of the girls’ houses, and they decided to give her a makeover. All Lana told me was to wear a suit.” I shrugged then held up the shirt again.
“Wait.” Liam grinned then turned to me. “Does that mean we can give you a makeover?”
“No.” I squinted my eyes. “I just want this shirt ironed!”
“I got it,” Nick said then took it from me. I thanked him then was about to follow him upstairs but stopped when Aidan asked what restaurant.
“I don’t know; all Lana told me it’s on her because I got into Boston. It’s in the city, though.” I shrugged.
“Ooh, la la,” Liam sang. “If you don’t like that restaurant, just go to yours. That way neither of you has to pay a cent.”
The guys laughed, and I just shook my head. “Nah, even though I know she’ll want to pay, I’ll also pitch in.”
“Oh, Benny, don’t forget, later I’m going over to Gabe’s house,” Sam called out as I walked upstairs. I entered my room to see Nick at my desk. He pointed at my bed and smiled when I saw the ironed shirt.
“Thanks, dude.” I chuckled then put it on. “Don’t know why I’m so nervous. We’ve been on plenty of dates now, but I don’t know…just this one is different.”
“Because you feel a bit guilty, don’t you?”
I was in the middle of buttoning up my shirt in the mirror. When he said that, I froze and looked at him through the reflection in the mirror.
“A bit,” I admitted then continued. “She really wants to go to Yale, yet nothing is happening,” I said then turned around to face my best friend and shoved my hands in my pockets. “I care about her, and I…just want her to be happy.”
“Well, you’re lucky, bro. At least your girlfriend isn’t moving to another country,” he said, and I bit my lip as I remembered that Melissa’s going to Italy.
“Shit yeah. How’s that going?” I asked as I walked to my closet and took out a tie.
“All right, I guess.” He shrugged and played with my baseball bat. “Thank goodness for FaceTime, right?” He lightly chuckled, and I forced a smile then walked back to the mirror. I struggled with my black tie at first but got it after a few attempts. Nick slowly spun on the chair as he whistled.
“What’s up?” I asked. We stared at each other for a moment, but he sighed then shut the door with his foot.
“If things do work out with the colleges and stuff, then…what’s gonna happen to this whole Christo-James thing?” he quietly asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know, but that’s another reason why I pray that Lana gets in. She needs to get away from all of this…” Once my tie was on, I sat on the edge of my bed. I clasped my hands together and lowered my head to look at my shoes. “We can leave all of this behind. I care about Lana so much, and I just…I feel like a whole new person when I’m with her. I feel better; we feel better,” I began. “She’s beautiful, and I feel like the luckiest guy on earth. The fact that she forgave me means a lot to me.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I mean we’re not the perfect couple. We’ve both attempted suicide but still managed to come out strong,” I whispered. Nick was the only one who knew I cut other than Lana. Liam’s my best friend too, but he’s too happy to deal with a self-harm friend. “Even though she can be quite a handful, when she’s happy or committed like to school, her personality is like whoa. I mean, one day she’ll get complicated, another day weird, funny, nerdy, nervous, or sassy, but that’s Lana Willson.” I chuckled. “Her eyes are a bonus because they’re so blue and…I don’t know how to explain it but…genuine, y’know?”
“Yeah.” Nick laughed. “So, what are you guys gonna do afterward?”
“Maybe take a walk or something.” I shrugged then turned to him. I noticed that he smirked as he looked back and forth at the bed. My eyes widened, and I let out a cough. “N-No…I don’t know.”
“Come on, dude; you’re supposed to be celebrating.” He wiggled his brows. “Plus, you’re still a virgin, and you’ve been saving it for that special someone.”
“Yeah, but I don’t know…” I awkwardly rubbed the back of my neck. I didn’t like that he pointed out that I was still a virgin. I felt like a loser.
“Does Lana know?” he asked. “That you’re a virgin?”
“No, she thought I fucked Britney.” I scrunched my nose because I’d never imagined that.
“Whoa, but think of it, you’re gonna be the only virgin when we go to that lame camp.”
“Isn’t Liam a virgin?”
“Oh yeah.” He laughed. “Just I can’t imagine him losing his virginity. He’ll probably talk the girl’s head off about investigating or throwback songs when they’re face to face.”
We laughed, and I couldn’t imagine Liam with Miranda. I imagined them as friends as they sang along to music or ate junk food but never romantically. Then again, I’d never pictured Aidan in a relationship, but now he dated a redhead.
“All right, how do I look?” I stood up once I had my jacket on.
“Like you dress to impress,” Nick said then stood up. “But actually, you dress to undress.” I shook him off then walked past him to grab my phone and wallet. I spun around to see Nick on his phone. Once he finished, he looked at me. “Come on; I’ll drop you off. Aidan and I are going to Miranda’s house anyway.”
***
Since downtown was busy on a Saturday, we drove around twice in search of parking. After fifteen minutes, I told Nick to drop me off somewhere, and I’d walk. While I walked, I checked my phone to see that Lana texted me because she was at the restaurant with our table. I shoved my hands in my pockets and picked up my pace. I walked on the left side of the street and saw the restaurant in the distance on the right. I didn’t want to run because I’d become sweaty and I was already nervous. It’s the first time I hadn’t picked her up or seen her before the date. I didn’t know what to expect. Of course, she’d still look beautiful. The restaurant was now in the next street, and I’d have to cross the road. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw two figures. I turned my head to look down an alley. It seemed dead since it was the back of a building, but my brows rose when I saw Blake and Levi approach me. Levi had a beer bottle in his hand but tossed it and the glass shattered against the wall. I balled my fists in my pocket then looked at Blake, who smoked.
“’Sup, guys,” I said then turned my head to the restaurant. It was clear now, and I saw Lana through the glass window. She had her back to me.
“Fancy seeing you here, Nielson,” Levi said then gestured to Blake. “We were just talking about you right now.”
“About what?” I raised a brow.
“How’d you do it?”
“Do wh—”
“What did you do that made Lana forgive you?” Blake cut me off.
“Well, that’s betwe—” I cut off when Levi walked around and pushed me. I grunted as I almost fell on Blake, but he casually stepped aside. I was about to fall but managed to keep my balance. “What the fuck?” I cussed then spun around to glare at them.
“Do you know what you used to do to her?” Levi approached me, and
I got the whiff of alcohol as he opened his mouth. “This, you filthy bastard.”
He punched me in the face, and I flinched when I stepped back. I felt Levi’s hold on me as he gripped my collar. Our eyes met, and I lazily stared into his dark blue ones. He shoved me against the wall then punched me in my stomach. I groaned as I put my palm against my stomach. Levi’s fingers dug into my hair as he forced me to look at him. He tugged on my hair and used his other hand to punch me in the nose. My head hit the brick wall, and he dropped his hold as I sank to the ground.
“I was just showing Blake here what Lana had to go through for so many years,” Levi said, and I glanced up to see that Blake had his back to us. I followed his gaze to see him look at Lana, who tapped her fingers against the table.
“I’m not the only one who screwed her over in the past,” I said then coughed out blood. Levi squinted his eyes at me then let out a dry laugh. He crouched down to probably hit me again, but I was fast and lunged toward him. I was on top of him and threw punches. Every punch, my fist tightened. I felt my nails dig into my skin. My breaths were fast and low because he’s right. I did hurt her, and the way I did compared to theirs was ten times worse. I was snapped out of my sorrowful thoughts when I felt two hands under my arms pull me off Levi. I was shoved to the ground then looked up to see Blake. He raised his foot and pressed it down on my chest. I coughed out more blood as I felt my nose bleed and drip on my white shirt. Levi was up on his feet again. They towered over me, and that’s when they kicked. I turned on my side and shut my eyes because I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. I deserved it. Levi continued to yell at me while Blake followed, and I noticed that his kicks were slow yet painful.
“Hey!” someone yelled, and I slowly opened my eyes to see a woman. I didn’t even notice how deep in the alley we were because she stood in the sun while we were surrounded by darkness. “What do you think you’re doing?” She stormed toward us. Levi and Blake stopped then ran off. “Come back here!” she called after them. “I’m calling the police!”
“No.” I coughed.
She turned to me then crouched down to help. “Oh my god, your face.”
I tried to stand up but winced as I felt a pain in my rib. I crawled toward the wall and turned my head to see Lana. I couldn’t let her see me like this. I barely saw everything was blurry. I glanced up at the woman who looked at Lana across the street. I watched as her eyes widened as she covered her mouth.
“Oh my god, she’s waiting for you…”
“I-I can’t let her s—see me,” I breathed out then took out my phone. It was cracked, and I threw it on the ground in frustration.
“Y-You can use my phone,” she said then gave me her Samsung. As I tried to type in Nick’s number, my head spun, I coughed out more blood onto the phone then pressed the green button. After a few rings, he finally answered.
“Hello?”
“N—Nick, across th…” I breathed out then coughed again. The woman took her phone and spoke with Nick. I blocked out her frantic calls for help as I stared at the opposite wall. Somehow, I knew I deserved that.
***
It was hard to open my eyes because my head hurt and my right eye was swollen. I only managed to look through my left one. Images were blurry at first, but then it got clearer. Once my vision in one eye was clear, I heard voices. I slowly turned my head and realized I was in my bed.
“He’s awake,” someone said, and I recognized the voice as Marcus. I tried to sit up, but I saw Nick walk toward me and gently pushed me down again. I looked around the room to see Aidan, Marcus, and Miranda. I never saw Lana, so I let out a sigh of relief.
“Be careful. My cousin just left. He said your rib is fractured, and you won’t be able to see through your right eye for a while,” Nick stated. His cousin was the family doctor. Whenever we were young and played wild and didn’t want to get into trouble with our parents, we’d go to Nick’s cousin.
“He also said your face looks like shit.” Marcus chuckled, and I turned my head to see Miranda nudge him.
“Wh-Where’s Sam?” My voice was raspy and barely audible.
“He’s in the basement with Liam and Carter,” Aidan answered.
“And Lana?”
“She’s on her way, pissed we didn’t tell her what happened because we don’t know what happened,” Miranda stated. I let out a sigh then laid flat on my stomach. I covered my face with my arms as I blocked out the constant whispers.
“Benny!” a familiar voice rang through my ears, and I winced because it was Lana’s.
“Oh, shit.” Marcus laughed. The door creaked open, yet I kept my head buried in my sheets. I heard the clicks of Lana’s footsteps as she entered the room.
“Benny, I waited for almost an hour for you by the res—what happened to you?”
“He got beat up right opposite the restaurant,” Nick replied.
“Oh my God.” I heard Lana. “Benny, what happened? Who did this to you?”
The little hairs on my arms rose as my stomach turned. I felt her cold palm against my arm as she caressed it.
“The woman on the phone said it was two guys,” Nick added, and I bit my lip at what Lana would do once I told her it was them.
“Benny, who did this to you?” Lana asked, and I turned away. She didn’t like my silent treatment when she lifted my one arm, slid her head next to mine, and laid next to me. That’s when I saw her beautiful blue eyes take in my appearance. A slight gasp escaped from her lips, but she covered it with her hand. I bit my lip to prevent the tears; I didn’t want to cry because I felt weak as I looked at her. I finally understood. She deserved so much more, not someone who brought up a ruthless past.
“Who did this to you? Please tell me,” she whispered then slowly stroked my cheek. I bit my lip again and looked at her with my left eye then slowly opened my mouth.
“Blake and Levi.”
“I knew it,” Miranda said. Everyone talked at once, but I stared at Lana. She looked at my chest, eyes slightly widened while her jaw dropped. She shook her head then removed herself from my hold. I watched as she sat next to me on the bed.
“Wh-Why would they do this?” she croaked out.
“I told you, Lana; they were just waiting for the right moment. It was bound to happen,” Miranda said.
“Wh-What state were they in?” Lana asked.
“They were drunk,” I coughed out. I clutched my chest and wheezed as I coughed. I felt Lana’s fingers run through my hair as she tried to comfort me.
“Yet they miraculously ended up there? Right opposite the restaurant,” Marcus stated.
“Blake told me that Jaden invited them out. It must’ve been close,” Aidan said then folded his arms.
“And I remember telling them of our date.” Lana frowned. “They must’ve planned it.”
“Told you, Lana, guys like that don’t change. Even if they promised you they would and that they’d get along with Benny, they lied,” Miranda said as Lana pulled her fingers away from my hair. “They were just waiting for the right moment.”
“But they promised.” Lana’s voice cracked as she got off the bed then crouched down so that we were face to face.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I tried.”
“I know.” She nodded, and I noticed a tear run down her cheek. “And thank you for trying because I know you’d do anything for me.” She drew her lower lip between her teeth and looked at me. I watched hopelessly as she outstretched her hand and stroked my cheek. The atmosphere was tense, nobody spoke, and I felt everyone’s eyes on us. She leaned her head forward and pressed her forehead against mine. I shut my eyes. I heard her sniffles as she mumbled apologies. When she removed her forehead from mine, I opened my eyes. She wiped her tears away then stood up. “Okay, I’m done.”
“What?” Aidan asked. She looked at him for a while then shook her head.
“Aidan, I’m done with your cousin, and I’m done with Levi,” she said. “They keep fucking up and expe
cting just a night out or an apology to fix things.”
“Lana, what are you saying?” Nick asked. She looked at me, and we locked eyes for a while. Her makeup was smudged from the tears, yet it made her blue eyes stand out more. I glanced down to see her in a white dress with black heels. She moved, and we watched as she went to my closet and took out my denim jacket. She put it on then looked at us.
“I’m going to talk to them, end this once and for all,” she stated then walked past Marcus and Aidan.
“L-Lana…” I coughed out as she stopped. “Please, don’t do anything stupid.”
With her back to me, she looked down, and I followed to see her gaze on the baseball bat that was leaning against my wall. She swiftly picked it up and swung it over her shoulder then walked out of the room.
Chapter Eleven
Blake
We were in the living room, yet no one spoke for a while. I stared at the text Aidan sent a few minutes ago clearly because I was sober.
Aidan: Lana is pissed.
“You guys are in deep shit,” Tamia said. When we got home, we found Axel, Tamia, Keene, and Jaden here and told them what happened.
“He fucking deserved it, plus we were drunk.” Levi shrugged then sat on the armchair.
“Didn’t you beat him up before?” I asked then put my phone on the coffee table.
“Yeah, and he still deserves it. You only saw it once, dude. Princess cried in my arms for years, and I had to beat him up every time,” he responded as I turned to him. He had a bruise below his eye from Benny, yet I didn’t have a single scratch on me. “I don’t know what the hell possessed her or what Benny did for her to forgive him, but they’re not gonna last. Just wait.”
“You say that every fucking time. You’ve known Lana longer than any one of us. Why the hell didn’t you make a move? You came here, fucked her, and watched her end up with him.”
