Finding Home

by Rachel Smith

  It was winter in Iowa. Wasn’t this dude cold?

  A tinge of panic raced through me as I opened the car door. Without pause, the man jogged down the steps and veered in my direction.

  “Can I help you?” I asked.

  “Just wanted to come over and say hello,” he replied as his boots crunched over the packed snow in my walkway. “I live in the blue house down the street. Name’s Johnathon Trellis.” He offered his hand. “You can call me Johnny.”

  Okay, maybe I was a little quick in my assessment that he was merely ‘a little’ rough around the edges. Through the neck of his T-shirt peeked another tattoo, the words ‘Death is Forever’ etched at the top.

  Creepy.

  To make matters worse, as I clutched his hand in mine, I noticed the word PAIN tattooed just below his knuckles. One letter on each finger.

  Realizing I’d been staring, my face likely twisted into some sort of judgy scowl, I finally mustered the sense to speak. “Elizabeth,” I answered. “But everyone calls me Liz.”

  He gave my hand one last squeeze before letting it drop. I fought the urge to wipe my palm against my leg. Who knew where that hand had been? His grin screamed of mischief and mayhem as he looked me up and down.

  “Not too often that people move into this shithole of a town, let alone a hot little piece like you.”

  Smooth.

  I schooled my face, trying my hardest to appear calm and unaffected by his words. Inside my head, however, warning bells began to blare.

  Asshole Alert! Asshole Alert!

  “Thanks… um, I think.” My eyes shifted away in a feeble attempt to look at anything but him. I glanced at the mailbox, the pile of snow at the end of my driveway, anywhere but directly at Johnny. “Well, thanks for stopping over.” I attempted to step around him but a firm hand on my arm stopped me.

  “Wait, where you running off to so fast?” His body shifted to the left, cutting off the path to my door once again.

  It seemed so close, yet so far away.

  My brain scrambled to think of a good lie. Something to give him the hint that I was busy and didn’t have time for this crap. “My sister is on her way over, so I don’t really have time to chat today. Maybe another time?”

  Jesus, you had a good brush-off going there. Why would you give him the hope that there’d ever be another time? And what the hell? Say boyfriend—always let them think you’re unavailable. Stupid, Lizzie.

  Stupid, stupid, stupid.

  He looked down to the ground, cocked his head to the side like he was deep in thought, and stared. One finger, I think it was the one with the ‘P’ tattooed on it, casually swiped across his bottom lip.

  It was a flirty move, and normally I’d be flattered. But today I just couldn’t muster any sort of feelings other than complete disgust.

  “Yeah,” he finally spoke. “Maybe another time.”

  I waited for him to say goodbye and be on his way. A cordial, fake smile plastered on my face. I must not have been clear before when I said I didn’t have time to chat, because instead of leaving, he asked another question.

  “So where’d ya move here from?”

  “Chicago,” I clipped. Maybe short, simple answers would give him the hint to get lost.

  His eyebrows lifted. “Oh yeah, the chick that lived here before you was from there, too. Winston. Something Winston.”

  “Charlotte,” I deadpanned. “And that would be my sister.”

  “Ah, I can see the resemblance now. So, your last name is Winston then?”

  I rolled my eyes, now to the point of being beyond annoyed. “No,” I answered sarcastically. “Winston was her married name. Our family name is Rockwell. My name is Elizabeth Rockwell.”

  Just then, a young-ish looking kid came walking around the corner. The hood of his sweatshirt pulled up so I couldn’t see his face. He couldn’t have been very old. High school maybe?

  A shadow fell over Johnny’s face. His eyes went from flirty softness to ice cold. I felt like all of a sudden, he was taller, broader, more intimidating.

  Scary as hell.

  “Well, I’ve got to run.” Finally able to step around him, I made it up all the steps before calling over my shoulder. “Great to meet you. I’ll be over if I ever need to borrow a cup of sugar.”

  Which will be never, I silently added.

  He didn’t move. Not to look at me. Not to watch me go into my house. Nothing.

  I turned the key and pushed the door open, shutting it quickly behind me. A shiver started at the top of my head, slid down my spine, and raced out my toes. Pulling the curtain as little as possible, I peeked through the tiny slit to see Johnny still hadn’t moved.

  What the hell?

  I stepped back and dug through my purse for my cell. With shaky fingers, I pulled it free and glanced out the window once more. This time, the place he’d been standing was empty. I didn’t have the guts to look down the street to make sure he’d gone home. I couldn’t. I was too overcome with intense fear.

  He seemed interested in our conversation up until the end. Flirty, even. So what changed? I’m sure my resting bitch face was out in full force, but I really did try to tone it down. I replayed the whole thing in my mind, searching for clues. He wouldn’t let me go in the house and then he asked where I was from and… Oh God. My stomach sank when it occurred to me.

  The kid. He was fine until he saw the kid.

  Then it all changed.

  12

  Alex

  Damn it, I’m late.

  I jogged out to my truck, the coldness stealing the air right out of my lungs. Winter in the Midwest was brutal. I ran my hand through my hair, still wet from my quick shower. Tiny droplets of moisture dripped from the ends, soaking into the collar of my winter coat.

  After I started the truck, I let it sit for a bit to warm up. Cold air blasted through the vents, causing me to shiver even more. I cranked the heat as high as it would go, hoping it warmed up quickly. Lizzie didn’t need to get into a giant igloo. And hell, I’m already ten minutes late. What’s a few more minutes to ensure the poor girl doesn’t freeze to death on the way back to my place?

  I was about ninety-nine percent sure everything would be perfect tonight.

  Google saved the day once I realized I had no idea what to make for dinner. After countless hours of discarding recipes that seemed entirely too complex for me, I settled on the very safe, very easy choice of spaghetti. Pair that with a nice salad and some pre-made garlic bread and I was good to go.

  Guaranteed dinner to impress any lady.

  Well, sort of. I really only boiled noodles and then dumped a jar of sauce over top of them. An adolescent could make the same meal.

  I smiled and put the truck in drive.

  Showtime.

  I made it to Lizzie’s place in under ten minutes, even with snow-covered roads. After months in this town, I still couldn’t get over its size. Going from one end of town to the other so quickly was unheard of in Chicago.

  I pulled in behind Lizzie’s Camry parked in the drive. Idly, I wondered why she’d left it outside and not in the garage. My boots crunched against the packed snow as I made my way to her house. Before I even had the chance to knock, the door swung open.

  “Hey,” I smiled. She looked gorgeous. Faded jeans hugged the delicate curve of her hips. A deep red sweater dipped low at her neck, teasing me with just a peek of her ample cleavage. “You ready to head out?”

  She nodded. I took a step inside, closing the door behind me to keep out the cold. Tell her she looks nice, my subconscious screamed at me. Except I didn’t listen to the voice. Instead, as I waited just inside the door, I stared, dumbstruck at her beauty.

  I was able to keep my shit together until she bent over to pull on her fuzzy winter boots. The movement caused her shirt to shift, creating an even bigger gap at the chest. My mouth dried when I caught a glimpse of delicate black lace against the top swell of her breast.

  Blood raced through my veins,
gathering between my legs. I needed to adjust myself, to shift my dick just enough to relieve the pressure as it pulsated. Fuck me, my pants were suddenly tight. Too tight. So damn tight, I thought I’d explode if I didn’t touch her right then.

  I vaguely registered her talking behind the thick haze of lust clouding my eyes.

  “Alex,” she scolded. “Did you hear a word I just said?”

  I lifted my eyes from her chest. “What’s that now?”

  When she realized I’d been staring at her tits far too long, a flush spread across her neck. Labored breaths moved her chest up and down. The darkness of her pupils dilated to the point I could only see the slightest sliver of green.

  I wanted her.

  Needed her.

  Longed for her.

  And judging by her reaction, she felt the same.

  The fire burning between us couldn’t be stopped. And fuck if I wanted it to snuff out even a little.

  In a heartbeat, we launched ourselves at one another. My fingers threaded through her hair as our mouths fused together in a scorching kiss. Lizzie’s urgent hands pushed my coat off my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. It landed with a resounding ‘thud’ before I kicked it out of the way.

  “More. I want more of you,” she mumbled as her fingers swiftly unbuttoned my shirt. Giving in to her sudden impatience after only a few seconds, she gripped the sides and pulled, sending buttons flying in every direction. I heard the quiet ‘ping’ as each one hit the floor. Her splayed hands rubbed my bare chest before she pushed the material off my shoulders.

  I slid my palms down her back until I cupped the rounded curve of her ass, giving it a rough squeeze before maneuvering her sweater up and over her head. Our mouths parted for a brief moment as I threw the sweater to the side.

  “Sweet Jesus,” I hissed as I ran my finger just above the thin lace of her bra. The cause of my demise, right there in front of me. “You are so goddamn beautiful.”

  “Touch me,” she whispered, and slid the straps from each shoulder. I dipped my finger under the lace and pulled, releasing both perfectly round globes. My hands molded around their softness as she kissed my jaw. Her breath ghosted across my lips before she let her head fall back, exposing the delicate line of her neck.

  It took every ounce of willpower to remove my hands from her tits, knowing there were other needy, sensitive areas being my only motivation. We fumbled with belts, buttons, and zippers, both of us frantic as we pushed the tight denim down to the floor. With knees bent to the ground, she tugged my boxer briefs down, wasting no time before her tiny hand curled around my cock.

  “Fuck baby. Oh, God, that feels good.” She leaned in and kissed the tip, her hair falling around her face like a curtain. As much as I wanted to sink myself between those sexy lips, I gathered her hair in my fist and pulled her back.

  “I want to taste you, Alex.”

  “Next time. If you put your mouth around me right now, this’ll be over before we even get to the main event.”

  “Fine. Protection?” she panted, struggling to breathe as if she’d just finished a marathon.

  Reaching down, I plucked my wallet from my discarded jeans and pulled out the lone condom. “I’ve only got one.” I ripped the corner with my teeth and quickly slid the latex down my shaft. “So we better make it fucking count.”

  With both hands on her ass, I lifted her up and slammed her back against the wall. Her legs immediately wrapped around my hips, putting us at the perfect angle. Vaguely, my brain registered the pictures and knick-knacks rattling against the wall as I pushed into her warm heat.

  My conscience kicked in and I suddenly felt guilty for my complete lack of control. And a wall-fuck? Never a good idea with someone you actually care about. I had wanted to do this right, but I was too far gone to stop.

  “Move,” she pleaded. Her hands pulled at the hair on the back of my head until our gaze met.

  I looked up into her piercing green eyes. The same eyes I’d dreamt about looking at me like this for weeks.

  Fuck it, I thought. “I promise to take my time with you later, Lizzie. But right now, this might be kind of a rough ride.”

  “Well then, giddy-up, cowboy.”

  My cute little dork.

  I grinned. “Hold on tight.”

  She tilted her head down to kiss me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders as I began to thrust. Once. Twice. Harder and harder I pounded into her. I’d quickly relinquished what little hold I had left on my control and let loose. The rhythm of our tongues matched the steady rocking between us.

  “Take it, Lizzie. I want you to take everything I’m giving you. Every time you move tomorrow, you’re going to feel me between your legs.”

  With her eyes closed, her head tilted back, a sexy moan fell from her lips. She released my neck and stretched both arms back against the wall at her head. Panting heavily as her fingers grasped nothing. Clawing, scratching. “God, yes, right there.”

  Her tits bounced in my face with every thrust. I leaned in to capture one teasing nipple between my teeth and gave a fierce tug.

  “Alex,” her high-pitched shriek cut through the room.

  “I’m close, Liz.”

  “Faster.”

  “Come on, Lizzie,” I growled. “Get there.”

  “Harder.”

  Not wanting to finish before her, I slid my hand down her belly until my thumb reached her center. It only took two strokes to her clit before she screamed through her climax. With my hands still on her ass, I felt the muscles tense as her body shuddered. Her arms snaked around my shoulders as her inner muscles contracted around my dick, holding it like a vise.

  I followed her quickly and chased her orgasm with a mind-blowing one of my own. Stars exploded behind my eyes as I poured myself into her. “Fuck… Lizzie…”

  For minutes we stood against the wall, still wrapped around each other. Neither of us spoke. Even after I finally set her feet back on the floor and pulled out, she quietly reached for her clothes.

  Remorse crept up my throat when I remembered Charlie’s warning. A warning that I completely ignored. I don’t know what came over me when she opened that door, but it was unstoppable.

  There was something about her. Something different. Something that called to me on a whole different level than any woman I’d ever been around. She lit my world on fire, and it snapped all my self-control.

  “Jesus,” I muttered as I pulled my jeans up around my waist. Around the corner in the kitchen, I found a small garbage can and tossed in the used condom.

  Lizzie stilled. “What’s wrong?”

  She looked worried. “Nothing. Everything.” I sighed and finished getting dressed. “I’m really sorry about that.”

  “Super.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. She turned her back toward me and pulled on her jeans.

  “What? No, I’m not sorry it happened. But I am sorry about the way it happened. It seems I have a very loose handle on my shit when I’m around you.” She turned to face me. I pointed to the door and chuckled. “I mean… my truck is still running in your driveway, Liz, and one glimpse of the goddamn lace on your bra and I mauled you like a bear.”

  She giggled and then covered her smile with her hand, a sheepish glint in her eye.

  “Don’t laugh at me. Your sister’s going to kick my ass.” I bent down to pick up her sweater. I pulled it over her head and muttered, “Arms, babe.” She pushed each arm through the sleeve and smiled.

  See? I can be sweet. I handed over her jacket before grabbing mine from the floor.

  “What’s my sister have to do with what just happened between us? I mean, we’re adults, both unattached…” She raised her eyebrows, almost as if she was challenging me to disagree.

  “Right. We didn’t do anything wrong as far as I’m concerned. However, she did warn me that I was supposed to make you dinner, watch a movie, and no funny business was allowed.” I chuckled. “Actually, she told me we couldn’t do this.” I mirrored Charlott
e’s ridiculous childhood gesture, sticking my index finger through the hole made by my thumb and finger on the other hand.

  Her mouth went slack. “Shut up.” Her eyes closed but her lips moved slightly as she whisper-counted to ten.

  If that was her calming technique, it didn’t work. With her hands curled tightly into fists, she literally growled, “Gah, I’m going to wring her fricken’ neck.”

  I chuckled. Damn, it felt good to laugh after the last few days at work. “Come on, my little firecracker. Time to actually go on that date I promised.”

  I helped her into the truck and then jogged around the front. As I pulled my door open, something slithered inside my gut. I felt eyes on me, and not Lizzie’s gentle ones.

  Hard, dark eyes that were filled with hate. The unease curled out of my gut and slid through my body, causing all the fine hairs on my neck to stand on end.

  “You okay?”

  I jumped at Liz’s question. Clearing my throat, I swung myself up into the cab and slammed the door. “Uh… yeah, I’m fine.”

  “So, what’s for dinner?” she asked as I backed out onto the street.

  I didn’t answer, my foot set firmly on the brake once we hit the street.

  “Alex?” she called.

  I held one finger up to silence her as I shifted the truck into drive and crept forward.

  “What are you—”

  “Sshh!” I hissed and kept looking. I observed a burly, tatted up dude take one last drag off his cigarette before tossing the butt into the snow. He stood on the concrete steps in front of the pale-blue house.

  I hadn’t accelerated yet when we passed by, letting the truck roll down the street so I could get a better look at him. Feet planted hip-width apart, his arms folded across his chest, he glared at the truck.

  Johnny Trellis.

  What a fucking thug.

  I mean, seriously, the guy screamed of white trash. Raftzen had filled me in on all his priors after I saw Brandon going into the house. Drug possession, public intoxication, supplying to minors. The worst being a horrifically violent domestic assault that earned him eighteen months in lockup. From what I hear, his ex-wife still doesn’t walk quite right.