by L. P. Maxa
“So let me get this straight.” I sat up, throwing my covers off and over Jett’s head. “Every other member of this family can fuck up? Sex tapes. Drug addiction. Covert op tunnels. Sneaking around and lies that went on for years. Lying for each other constantly. But the second I toe one damn foot out of line, everyone loses their shit and wants to run and tell my daddy?”
Beau glanced at my sister, then back to me. “Em, you didn’t toe a foot out of line, you got knocked up.”
I pointed across my room. “So did Landry.”
“She was an adult, living on her own, in a surgical residency program.” Talon stepped forward, going up a few notches on my new shit list.
“And I was well on my way to becoming a prima ballerina in the ABA.” I threw my hands in the air. “But things change.”
“They don’t have to change, Emmie.” Nicky got off the floor, coming to join the party on my bed. “You don’t have to keep this baby, there’s adoption, there’s—”
“Don’t you dare say it.” I shook my head, my eyes narrowed. “I might be the youngest in this family, but I’m not a child. While all of you were busy helping fix each other’s mistakes, I grew up.” I pointed at myself, my emotions running high. “I have money, like the rest of you. I can have this baby. I can raise this baby. I can do this. I will do this. And I don’t need anything from any of you.”
I pushed off the bed, needing to get away. This was too much, too intense. Everyone was worried about me, and no one agreed with what I wanted. It was like they all still saw me as a five-year-old girl with pigtails and a fluffy pink tutu. But that wasn’t me, not anymore. And for the first time in my life, I was fully prepared to walk out on my family.
“Emmie, wait, we’re sorry.” Cash gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me as I tried to walk past him. “You shocked us, that’s all.”
“Is this what your parents feel like all the time?” Talon rubbed his chest, like he was about to have a heart attack. “I gotta say, it’s not fun.”
Nicky had his arm around my sister, like he was comforting her. But I was the one with the life-altering news. “What about the baby’s father? Does he know? Is he going to stick around?”
The baby’s father. Yeah. I was not about to get into that with my family. Especially since Katie had been the only one not chiming in and pissing me off. She was standing with Cash in the corner next to my desk, looking a little pale. Did she know?
All eyes went to Jett when he raised his hand in the air. “What he really means is, who is he?”
I swallowed past the bile that was rising in my throat once again. Talking about Kase with my family, now that might actually make me throw up.
“He’s, um, a friend, sort of. It was one night and he doesn’t know.” I shrugged like it was no big deal. “I have no plans to tell him. He wouldn’t want this. He has his life and I have mine. I don’t need anything from him either.” But it was a big deal. It was something I’d lain awake night after night thinking about, both before and after my appointment at the clinic.
“The chicks in this family, I swear.” Brody got to his feet and then crossed the room to stand right in front of me. “Em, he deserves to know.” His blue eyes were more serious than I’d ever seen them. “Landry didn’t plan to tell me about Wyatt, and it broke my fucking heart. I was as wild as they come, but if I’d never had the chance to know my son… I can’t even wrap my mind around it, Emmie. You get to make the choice whether you keep that baby or not, but he gets to make a choice too.”
I had made a choice, and I’d made it for me and me alone. Keeping the baby was what was in my heart. It was what my soul chose to do. I hadn’t even thought about Kase in that moment. But Brody was making me think maybe I should have. I didn’t like the guilt that was starting to gather in my gut.
“Who is he?” Jett was pleading with me.
Nicky popped him on the back of the head. “You’re a nosy fucker, you know that?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“She doesn’t have to tell us until she’s ready.” Evie sent me a soft smile, the sibling form of an apology. Good. She owed me one after trying to demand I tell our parents about the baby. She kept secrets for years. Big fucking secrets. Why couldn’t I keep this one for a little longer?
“Bullshit.” Jett crossed his arms over his chest. “She wants us to lie for her, to cover for her, she has to be honest with us. That’s the way it works. Us against the world, but she has to let us in.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not part of your little club. I never have been.”
Beau wrapped me in his arms, kissing the top of my head. “Emmie, that’s not true. You’re one of us, from the second you were born, you were one of us. And that baby? That baby is one of us too.”
I hid my face in my big cousin’s chest, taking deep breaths. I wasn’t prepared for everyone to see me cry. But Beau’s words were sweet, and exactly what I needed to hear. I needed to know that I wasn’t alone, that I never had been. I didn’t need them forcing decisions on me. I didn’t need them ratting me out. I needed them to love me, to be there for me, to reassure me. And I hadn’t realized how badly until Beau had offered it to me.
He rubbed my back. “This is the first time you’ve really needed us. You don’t mess up on the daily like the rest of these yahoos. You were always more a Devil’s Angel than Devil’s Spawn. But let me be the first one to officially welcome you over to the dark side.” He put his hands on my shoulders, pushing me back and grinning. “Knocked up at eighteen by a one-night stand with a guy none of us know? Pretty spectacular first offense.”
Landry raised her hand. “Mine was breaking curfew and wrecking my car in the same night.”
Beau snorted. “I started having sex with the underaged girl next door.”
Jett sighed. “Marley made me her accomplice in burning down a shed.”
I’d told them about the baby, and although their initial reaction hadn’t been the best, they’d moved past it. They were giving me exactly what I needed in this moment: acceptance and love. I wanted their offer. I wanted us against the world. It was making me emotional, making me want to let them in. I took a deep breath. “You do know him. You know the father.”
“Are you going to tell us who he is?” Jett rubbed his palms together. “Holy fuck I’m so excited.”
I winced, my gaze darting to Katie.
She gasped, shaking her head. “No, please tell me it’s not him.”
Brody’s eyes went wide. “Holy fuck, is it Cash? I think I’m going to be sick.” He bent at the waist, resting his hands on his knees, gagging.
“What? It’s not me, you dipshit.” Cash pushed his shoulder, sending him toppling to the ground.
Katie groaned, her head falling back as she gawked at the ceiling. “I’m going to freaking kill him.”
She did know, or at least she’d suspected. That was why she’d remained quiet this whole time. Had Kase told her? Why? It was a one night and he acted like he didn’t want anyone to know, which had been fine by me. So why had he told his sister?
“Wait. Kase?” Cash’s attention jerked back to me. “Is it Kase?”
I nodded.
“Katie, get in line,” Beau ground out, “because I’m going to fucking kill him first.”
“How did this even happen? How did the two of you end up…banging?” Brody was back on the ground, leaning against the wall between Landry’s knees again.
Talon looked to his best friend, a bewildered expression on his face. “You paused to find the right word and came up with banging?”
“Fucking felt dirty.” Brody wrinkled his nose, reminding me of Wyatt when someone tried to get him to eat broccoli. “Sleeping together? Is that better?”
Jett scoffed. “From what I’ve heard of Kase’s reputation, I’d say fucking would be more accurate. Doubt he slept.”
“Dude.” Talon shook his head.
“What?” Jett turned to me, his eyebrow raised in question. “Emmie, did he s
tay the night? Did you wake up with him and go for a nice brunch?”
“No, he was gone when I woke up.”
Jett gestured toward me. “See?”
“I’m going to kill him.” Talon pointed at Beau. “You first, then me.”
Brody held his hand up. “Let’s cut off his dick, and then kill him.”
“I saw him come out of your room, the morning after our wedding.” Katie looked sad, like she was disappointed. I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, that it was no one’s fault. No one’s but mine. I’d made the choice, and I was going to be living with it every single day from here on out.
But there were so many people talking, no one seemed to require input from me.
Cash frowned at his wife. “You knew? And you didn’t say anything?”
“What was I supposed to say? Hey, Cash, I know it’s our wedding night but Kase was next door banging your little cousin?”
“You get that in your head, it would have killed your boner.” Jett nodded sagely. “She did the right thing.”
“Shut up,” Cash snapped at his youngest brother.
Great, now my family was arguing with each other. Cash wasn’t happy with Katie. Katie was disappointed in her baby brother. And Jett, as he was prone to do, was close to pissing everyone off at this point.
“So, a one-night stand at a wedding with a fuck-boy groomsman?” Brody sighed. “Cliché, baby girl.”
He wasn’t wrong. I was like a bad romantic comedy, except that night wasn’t Kase and my meet-cute. Nope. Far from it. We wouldn’t be living happily ever after, laughing over all this one day as we watched our child dance in her first recital. This wasn’t the beginning of my fairy tale, and I’d accepted that.
Now I needed everyone else to.
“I thought Emmie’d save that virginity of hers for her husband.” Jett pointed at Talon. “Marley and I had a bet. I owe your baby momma fifty bucks.”
“I did too…wait.” Beau turned to me. “Emmie, was that your first time?”
Really? Did we need to get into all this too? Why was this day the absolute worst?
Cash took my silence as a resounding yes. “And you chose Kase? For fuck’s sake, why?”
“Because he would take it.” My sister hung her head for a minute, then picked it up and met my eyes. “Emmie. Are you okay? Was he…”
“Oh my god.” I cut my hands through the air, silencing their questions. “Yes, I was a virgin. Yes, I chose Kase because I didn’t think he’d care. But yes, he was good to me, and kind and sweet, and all the things I needed him to be. So can we please stop talking about it?”
“Have you spoken to him since he, you know, knocked you up?” Talon glanced at my stomach.
“I haven’t talked to him since that night. I wasn’t going to tell him about the baby.”
Katie reached out and took my hand in hers, squeezing it. “Emmie, I don’t know what to say.”
“You’re not responsible for your brother any more than Cash is responsible for me. And he didn’t do anything wrong, neither one of us did. We were careful.”
We were careful. Kase had worn condoms, he’d even pulled out, I think. We weren’t reckless. We didn’t throw caution to the wind. We were responsible. As responsible as we could be.
“You chicks are hella fertile.” Brody shook his head. “Landry and I use a stupid amount of condoms, and I keep knocking her up too.” He pointed at Talon. “That what happened to you guys too?”
Talon closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “For the last time, our pregnancy was planned.”
Brody snorted. “Whatever you say, man.”
Chapter Sixteen
Emmie
It’d been a few days since my family had gathered in my room and tried to stage an intervention. But Brody’s words had been on my mind long after they’d all gone home. He made me question my decision to not tell Kase about the baby.
I’d started to think that he was right, that Kase deserved to make his own mind up about becoming a father. So I’d called him, three times. I left voice mails, and he never called me back. I’d since resorted to text messages.
Emmie: Can you call me back when you get a chance?
Emmie: It’s kind of important.
He hadn’t responded to those either. I’d tried convincing myself that his lack of a response was the answer I needed. I thought I could use that as him saying he didn’t want to be part of our baby’s life. But it didn’t work.
Kase needed to hear the truth.
I knocked on Cash and Katie’s door, hating that I was having to drag her into this. I knew she felt partly responsible, but it was unnecessary.
“Hey, Em, come in.” She opened the door wide, inviting me inside.
I glanced around the room, glad that I didn’t see Cash. Him knowing that Kase was ignoring me would only make him hate his brother-in-law more than he already did. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yeah, kiddo, what’s up? You feeling okay?” She gestured for me to sit, doing the same herself.
“It’s Kase.”
She winced. “Oh no, you told him? What did he say? Was he an asshole? I’m so sorry.”
“I can’t get ahold of him.” I cut her off, not wanting her to think the worst. “He, um, won’t call me back.”
“Oh.”
“I was wondering if you could reach out to him.” I smiled, trying to go for casual, like I wasn’t a ball of nerves at the moment. “What Brody said the other day keeps running through my mind. How Kase should get to make a choice too. I want him to know, before I start to show and the rest of the world finds out.”
“I’ll see what I can do.” She leaned forward, squeezing my hand like she’d done the other day in my bedroom. “He shoots in these crazy remote jungles and stuff. He might not have his cell turned on.”
“Thanks.”
“You want to stay for dinner? Cash is doing press this week. It’s me here with the dogs.” She looked hopeful, like she wanted me to say yes.
I hadn’t spent much time with Katie one on one. She and Cash had spent so much of their life together living in California. But now she was here, on the compound, married to my cousin. And I was carrying her niece or nephew. We were connected, for better or worse, and it was probably high time we became friends.
I nodded. “I’d like that.”
Chapter Seventeen
Kase
I ran out of the bathroom, towel drying my hair as I dove for my cell. “Yelllllllllo?”
“You’re so lame.”
I snorted at Katie’s response. “Nice to hear your voice too, sister mine.”
I wouldn’t normally have hurried to answer the phone, but I’d flown in from the middle of nowhere today and this was the first time I had service or Wi-Fi. I was starved for connection with my family.
“Emmie said she tried to call you.”
I put the call on speaker, carrying it with me back into the bathroom so I could put clothes on. “She called a couple times, but I’ve been traveling a lot.”
“You need to call her back, Kase.”
I rolled my eyes at my sister’s dramatic tone. “I will. I’ll be back in the states in a couple weeks.” I was in between gigs at the moment, but I was staying in Europe until it was time to hop a train to Spain. No use doing that trans-Atlantic flight twice in that same number of weeks.
“Kase.”
What was my sister’s deal? I’d seen Ems’s calls. I’d read her texts. But I’d been honest with that gorgeous girl, and she’d sworn that she understood. Changing the game plan wasn’t going to happen. It was one night, and it didn’t matter how incredible it’d been. I wasn’t going to indulge some misplaced infatuation. It would only prolong the inevitable.
“Look, Katie, I know she’s your family now, but Emmie knew what she was getting into with me. I was completely honest with her.”
“See, that’s the thing, Kase. I don’t think she knew everything she was ge
tting when it came to you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Was she insinuating I gave that chick an STD? Because hell to the fuck no. I always wrapped it up. And I got tested monthly. If there was something going on with Ems, it was someone else’s problem.
“Call her, Kase.”
“I will, promise. I’ve gotta go, talk soon, love you.”
I hung up the call, tossing my phone back into my room and letting it bounce on the bed. Who knew Ems would turn out to be a crazy clinger? I thought she seemed cool enough. But then again, I had been her first. Keeping my distance was probably for the best. If she thought she was in love, hearing from me would only make it worse. I hoped that she got over this shit before Thanksgiving. If not, I’d be skipping out on that big blended family activity.
I was not about to sit next to Uncle Pax and have him shoot me I told you so looks over the turkey.
Chapter Eighteen
Kase
I was finally home, and back in the United States, back in Texas and back at the ranch. My mom had done my laundry and my dad had grilled me a steak. I was lying in my own bed, watching good old-fashioned trashy American TV.
I took a deep cleansing breath and counted my blessings.
Life was fucking fantastic.
My cell rang on my nightstand, Emmie’s name flashing across the screen bringing me down from my high a bit. I wanted to send it to voice mail, but Katie wanted me to talk to her. I’d indulge my sister and use it to restate my stance. One night, no mas, no matter how fucking hot Ems was.
“Hello?” I really hoped this phone call wouldn’t come back to haunt me.
“Hey.”
She sounded a little pissed, her tone clipped. “How’s it going, Ems?”
“I’ve been calling you for weeks.” Great, she was going to go the whole a woman scorned route.
“Yeah, I’ve been traveling, bouncing from country to country. I landed back in Texas a few hours ago.” And your clinger call ruined my bliss, thanks for that. “What’s up?”
