Inevitably (RiffRaff Records Book 8)

by L. P. Maxa

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “Oh.” That was not the direction I thought this call was going to go. “Congrats, I guess?” Why was she telling me this? Was she hoping I’d confess my love? Beg her to get rid of her baby daddy because I wanted to be with her? Not gonna happen. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

  “What? You are.”

  That couldn’t be right. It wasn’t possible.

  Well, it wasn’t probable. “No. We were really careful, I’m pretty sure I even pulled out. So it can’t be mine, you made a mistake.”

  “I’ve never been with anyone else, Kase, you know that.”

  “You hadn’t been with anyone before me, but I have no clue what you’ve done since.” My throat was dry. I reached for the beer on my nightstand and drained every drop.

  “You think I’m lying about this? Are you kidding me right now?”

  If she hadn’t been pissed before, she sure as shit was now.

  “Look, Ems, you’re a great girl. But that baby isn’t mine, it can’t be. It would be a statistical anomaly.” I didn’t have the brainpower to do the math in my head at the moment, but condoms and pulling out? I mean one was 98% effective and the other was like 78% effective. So, you know, put those two together and that was not my baby.

  “I don’t even know what to say to you right now.”

  Good. Great. Loss of words, that was my out. “Congrats on the baby, but I’ve got to go.”

  “I never planned on telling you that I was pregnant, because I don’t need anything from you. I never even wanted to tell you. But Brody made me feel awful. He made me feel like a terrible person. He said you deserved to choose whether you wanted to know your kid or not.” She laughed in this manically scary way. “I knew you wouldn’t want this, and I was okay with that. But to call me a liar? To deny that the baby is even yours? Fuck you, Kase.”

  I pulled my phone away from my ear, staring at the screen. She hung up on me.

  My heart was racing. I needed another beer or, like, a whole fucking keg. She hadn’t wanted to tell me? Did that mean that she wasn’t lying after all? Brody made her tell me? Brody knew about the baby. Did that mean everyone else did too? Did they all think it was mine?

  Holy fucking shit. No. There was no way that was my baby.

  I called Katie, standing and pacing my room, getting more and more agitated with every unanswered ring.

  “Hello?”

  Thank fuck she finally picked up.

  “Emmie’s pregnant.” She’s pregnant, but it’s not mine. It can’t be mine.

  “You talked to her?”

  Shit. That was why Katie had called me a few weeks ago. That meant Katie believed her. “So you knew?”

  “We all know.”

  We all know. Okay, so that was like what, twenty people, give or take? And they all thought the baby was mine. Holy fuck. “Her parents know?” Why hadn’t her dad tracked me down and tried to murder me?

  “No. Only the spawn.”

  The damage wasn’t all the way done then. There was still time to fix this. Still time to make them understand. “It’s not mine.”

  “Are you in denial or are you that big of an asshole?”

  “I wore a condom. And I pulled out.” Right? I knew the condom part was accurate. I can remember seeing the small pile of them in the hotel room trashcan. It was like an ugly gold color. But had I pulled out? I usually did. I don’t know why I wouldn’t. “It can’t be mine.”

  “She was a virgin, Kase.”

  I snorted. “Yeah, that I remember.” But then that comment felt super inappropriate so I tried to cover it with a cough.

  “Gross.”

  “Maybe she was with someone after me?” And when I said maybe, what I meant was please god let that be the case. Let it be someone else’s baby.

  “Or maybe you knocked up the youngest member of the Devil’s Share family.”

  No. I refused to believe that. “Have you seen her with anyone else?”

  “I’m going to stop you right there.” There was a brief pause and then she continued, adopting a slightly harsher tone. “You’re my brother and I love you. More than I love a lot of things in life. But you need to pull your head out of your ass. Emmie decided to tell you about the baby because it was the right thing to do, not because it was something she wanted to do.”

  “She said she wasn’t planning on telling me.” Katie knew she didn’t want to tell me, so that meant everyone else knew that she never wanted to tell me. Fuck you, Brody. Fuck you very much for making her do the right thing.

  “We all had to convince her that you deserved to know. She said she didn’t need your help, that she didn’t need anything from you.”

  She didn’t need anything from me. Made sense. In her mind I’d already given her enough. Fuck. Emmie didn’t want me to know. It took her whole family to make her tell me. She wasn’t lying. I knocked her up and she hated me for it. So much so that she wanted nothing to do with my rude ass.

  And I’d made it worse. “I basically called her a liar.”

  “You’re an idiot.”

  I nodded, even though my sister couldn’t see me. “She hung up on me.”

  “She should have driven south and punched you in your stupid handsome face.”

  “Holy fuck.” I sat down on my bed, closing my eyes when I felt the room start to spin. “I don’t want to be a dad, Katie.”

  “Emmie figured as much.” She figured as much because I’d told her over and over how I didn’t want anything that even vaguely resembled commitment. “Me on the other hand? I was really hoping you’d surprise them all.”

  Fuck my dick. Why couldn’t he stay away? Why couldn’t he leave her the way he’d found her? And now she was pregnant. You know what the biggest form of commitment was? Being a fucking parent. “I’ll call you later.” I needed to freak the hell out and have a meltdown of epic proportions.

  “Love you, dummy.”

  “Love you too.” Sorry I accidentally knocked up your new husband’s youngest cousin.

  I pulled out the bottle of vodka that had been hiding under my bed since my senior year of high school. It was old, covered in dust and plastic. I knew it was going to burn going down, but nothing could possibly steal my breath the way realizing I’d gotten Emmie pregnant had.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kase

  I’d tried calling Emmie back nonstop for the last two days. She either silenced my call or sent it straight to voice mail. My parents thought I had the flu, but really, I’d been holed up inside my room binge drinking and watching reruns of Full House.

  I needed to apologize for calling her a liar. It was the worst way to react to the news she’d shared. I’d been in denial, and then shock and terrified. It hadn’t been my finest moment and I felt pretty bad about it. The vodka helped numb my pain, but not enough for me to ignore it completely. I was a lot of things, but a bad human wasn’t one of them. The need to tell Emmie I was sorry was clinging to me like a second skin.

  I jumped when my phone chimed in my hand. I knocked over the beer chaser that had been balanced at my side. I checked the screen, surprised to see Emmie’s name flashing across the screen.

  Emmie: Stop fucking calling me.

  She said fucking. Ems didn’t cuss, not like the rest of the people who surrounded her at every turn. She was polite and kind.

  Kasen: I want to apologize.

  Emmie: Don’t care.

  Kasen: You shocked me.

  Emmie: Shocked me too, you asshole.

  Kasen: Your language has gotten increasingly profane.

  Emmie: I guess you bring out the best in people.

  Kasen: I’m so sorry, Ems.

  Emmie: I don’t need anything from you. I don’t want anything from you. Please stop trying to call me. Just go on living your life, Kase. We will be fine on our own.

  We. Holy shit, that word hit me right in my poor player heart. We. Emmie and the baby. Emmie and my baby.

  Kasen: You to
ld me not to call you. Would it be okay if I kept texting?

  Kasen: You’re back to ignoring me, huh?

  Kasen: I deserve that. I was such a prick the other day.

  Kasen: I know you’re reading these. You still have the read feature turned on like it’s 2019.

  Kasen: If I could take it all back, I would. Can I get a do over? Can you call me again and tell me you’re pregnant like it’s the first time you’ve ever said those words?

  Kasen: Guess that’s a no.

  Kasen: How ’bout I tell you what I should have said?

  Kasen: Wow. Are you sure? You are? Um. Do you want this? You want to keep it? Okay, then it looks like we’re having a baby. Do you need anything from me? I know you don’t need my money, but I mean, like emotionally. I don’t know how I feel yet either. I think I need a few days to process all this. Is that all right? I’ll call you soon. But. If you need me, I’m here, okay?

  Kasen: That’s what I would have said if I wasn’t such a dick.

  Kasen: I’m so sorry, Ems.

  Kasen: I’ll be in Colorado the rest of this week, working. I leave tomorrow. But then I’m back in Texas for a while. It’s Thanksgiving, and I’m supposed to come to the compound with my family. Will I see you?

  Emmie: Of course you’ll see me. I live here, asshole.

  Kasen: Holy shit, you texted me back.

  I’d been texting her every few minutes for the last half hour but I honestly never expected her to respond.

  Kasen: Can we talk when I’m there? Please, Ems. I made a mistake, but you shocked the hell out of me.

  Emmie: You think about yourself an awful lot. I was right to not want to tell you about the baby.

  Kasen: I just want to talk.

  Emmie: Fine. But none of the parents know, so keep your mouth shut.

  Kasen: You think I want your dad to snap my neck? I won’t say a word to them, I swear.

  Emmie: Meet me at Jett’s house before you come to the compound, it’s across the street.

  Kasen: I’ll be there. How are you feeling?

  Emmie: Fuck off.

  Kasen: Fair enough.

  Chapter Twenty

  Kasen

  I was nervous to see Emmie. I kept having this recurring nightmare that her stomach would be massive, like ready to pop huge. But I knew that couldn’t be the case, right? It’d only been three months since Katie and Cash’s wedding. She probably wouldn’t even be showing yet.

  That was surreal to think about.

  I’d gotten Emmie pregnant. She was pregnant. She wanted to keep the baby, and whether I wanted to be in the kid’s life or not, I’d have a child out there somewhere. Did I want to meet it? Fuck if I knew. I wasn’t ready to be a father. I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready. I hadn’t planned this for my life. The parent track wasn’t for me. There were still so many things I wanted to see, to experience. I wanted to live for myself.

  I wished I could go back in time and not accuse Emmie of lying to me. I felt pretty fucking shitty about it. But I’d been so careful. Had she been careful? Maybe she poked holes in the condom? No. That didn’t make any sense. Why would she want to trap me? She had her own money. And both she and Katie had said she’d never wanted to even tell me. I guess if I was wishing for a time machine, maybe I should go back and not fuck Emmie James.

  I parked my truck in front of Jett’s house, rolling my eyes at the giant wall of windows that gave people a clear view of his massive bedroom upstairs. Of course Jett would want people to watch him fuck. I left my bag in the car, knowing that I wouldn’t be staying here after our talk.

  I knocked on the door, taking a step back as the large steel and glass piece swung open.

  “Hey, is Ems here?”

  Jett narrowed his dark eyes. “She’s in the kitchen, eating an entire pan of fresh-from-the-oven sugar cookies. Those are her favorite lately. Not that you would know.”

  Okay. Jett wasn’t a fan these days. Noted.

  “Can I see her?”

  He leaned forward, dropping his voice. “If you make her cry, I will fuck your shit up, bro.”

  I sighed, already feeling weary. “I only want to talk to her, man.”

  “Fine.” He moved so I could come into the house. “Don’t eat any of those cookies though. Those cookies are for nice people, and you are an asshole.”

  “Sure thing.” As if I would come and steal her fucking cookies like some weird dessert bandit? I took her virginity. I’d leave her damn cookies the hell alone. I stepped past Jett, heading to the left where he was pointing.

  The first time I had seen Emmie, I had been instantly enamored. She was beautiful and she’d had this air about her: angelic almost. It seemed like she’d been floating across the field down by the tank, the sun backlighting her golden hair in this ethereal way.

  And this time wasn’t much different. I let out the breath I’d been holding when I saw her again, sitting on the island in Jett and Devin’s kitchen with her gorgeous long legs swinging. Her hair was piled on her head in a neat bun, her face perfectly made up. She had a giant cookie in her hands and she looked so damn young, so innocent. Emmie James was one of the most beautiful girls I’d ever seen, like a fallen angel gracing us mere mortals with her presence.

  How had I ever accused her of lying?

  “Ems.”

  “Kasen.”

  She was still using my full name. She knew that made me feel like I was in trouble, which meant her anger toward me hadn’t thawed over the last few days. “Can we talk?” Devin was at the stove, spooning dough onto a cookie sheet with an ice cream scoop. “Alone?”

  Emmie rolled her blue eyes, like she was already annoyed with me being here. Maybe it was hormones, or maybe I deserved it. She shoved the rest of the cookie in her mouth then braced her hands on the counter like she was preparing to hop down.

  I moved forward, my arms out to help her.

  She slapped them away and did it on her own.

  That’s what she wanted though, right? She wanted to do this all on her own. She didn’t need help down, and she didn’t need help raising the baby.

  My baby.

  Our baby.

  Holy shit.

  “You two can go out back. Jett has the fire pit going.” Devin hadn’t said hello to me, hell, she hadn’t even turned around when I’d walked in. But she’d offered us some privacy, and I was thankful.

  I knew the drill. You pissed off one spawn, you pissed off all.

  I followed Emmie through the living room and out the floor-to-ceiling glass French doors. The back deck overlooked a vast empty field, the Texas sunset turning the sky vibrant shades of pink. Maybe it was an omen. Maybe the baby was a girl. Emmie sat on a cushioned rocking chair, tucking a leg under her and using the other to make the chair move back and forth in a steady rhythm. I sat across from her. My chair didn’t rock, but I was nervous and my knees were bouncing.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “You actually care? Or are you attempting small talk and that’s all you could come up with?”

  “I care.” I did care. Seeing her, being near her. It was different than I thought it would be. She was a real person, a person I’d been with. I’d taken her virginity. I’d been inside her. And left behind a womb-mate. “I care, Ems.”

  “I’m fine, I guess. Sleepy and hungry, but I haven’t been physically sick or anything.”

  “That’s good.” Right? I mean, not vomiting was always a win, pregnant or not.

  “How’s work been?”

  I raised an eyebrow, my lips twitching into a small grin. “You actually care? Or are you attempting small talk?”

  “I’m attempting small talk.”

  I nodded, not really all that fazed by how much she seemed to dislike me at the moment. I hadn’t given her any reason to change her opinion, so I wasn’t offended. “At least you’re honest.”

  “I thought I was a liar.” Her chin lifted, her arms crossing over her chest.

  She threw my wo
rds back into my face, and they exploded on impact, making me feel like a piece of shit. “Ems. I should have never reacted that way. There’s no excuse for my behavior and I’m sorry.” I did care, and I was sorry. I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to convince her of that though.

  “Stop calling me Ems.”

  I snorted at her odd request. “Why?”

  “Nicknames mean something in this fucked-up family, and you don’t deserve to give me one.”

  I decided to leave the “fucked-up family” comment alone, not wanting to dive into any Devil’s Share drama. “Everyone calls you Ems.” She kept calling me Kasen, like I was a child in trouble. Seemed only fair that I got to call her Ems.

  “No. They call me Em, not Ems.” The smile she sent my way was not friendly in the least. “You can call me Emmie.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Try me, asshole.”

  “Look. You have every right to be mad at me.” I leaned forward, resting my forearms on my thighs and really wishing I’d thought to have a drink before I tried talking to the stunning ballerina I’d knocked up. “But I’m here, and I’ll be here for a few days so can—”

  “Why are you here, Kasen? I know for a fact that you bail on family stuff all the time. Before Katie and Cash’s wedding, I’d never even seen you at a family function. You could have easily skipped Thanksgiving.”

  She had me there. I did bail on family functions pretty regularly, especially ones that included the entirety of the Devil’s Share gene pool. But this time, it hadn’t even crossed my mind to beg off an excuse to my parents. I knew that I needed to be here. I needed to apologize to Ems and I needed to figure out what the hell to do with the rest of my life.

  “I wanted to see you.” I couldn’t let her keep thinking the worst of me. She and I would be connected in more ways than one now.

  “What for, Kasen?”

  “I wanted to apologize, and I guess I thought we could talk, figure things out.” I’d screwed up with Ems from the moment she’d tried to tell me she was pregnant. I’d ignored her attempts to contact me for weeks, and then I’d called her a liar. I needed to apologize, I knew when I fucked up, and I always tried to make it right.