by Leigh Allen
Seth was gone.
It was all over now.
Everything was over.
Chapter 12
Seth
I wasn’t sure which was worse; leaving Mia or pretending like I didn’t care.
After she left me that day in the woods, I picked up my phone every minute of every day, typing in her number, but never able to make the call.
I wanted to tell her that I was sorry. I wanted to tell her that I hadn’t meant anything that I had said. In truth, I had never loved anyone in my life before she came alone. Sure, I loved my mom, but other than her, no one had mattered. I wasn’t sure anyone would after Mia either.
I had thought I was tough and indestructible but nothing had been able to destroy me the way Mia had. I had to get out of town. I had to get away from anything and everything that reminded me of Mia.
Brody had begged me not to leave. He had listed off everything I had to lose if I left, but I left anyway.
“Want another drink?” a female voice asked.
I looked up from my phone and saw the crooked smile plastered on her face. I knew she saw me as the broken guy. That’s who I had been before Mia and I guess that who I am again now. She saw in me a guy who was running away from something and who would probably be a quick and fun fuck.
“No,” I said, waving her off.
She leaned over the counter, pushing her large tits into my face. I knew exactly what she wanted to offer me. As much as I knew I should just fuck this girl and try to forget about Mia, I just couldn’t.
Sure, I had acted like leaving Mia was easy. That’s what I needed everything to think. That’s what I needed Mia to think. If she couldn’t see the future I was building, then she couldn’t see me. Mia had always deserved better than me. That much had always been obvious. I had thought that by gambling, I could earn enough money to start a new life. I wouldn’t gamble forever. I could stop anytime I wanted, but Mia didn’t need to see that.
I threw a few dollars on the counter and walked away. I stepped outside and looked around. I had no idea where I was. I had just driven until I ran out of gas. I stopped in the first small town I found. It wasn’t permanent. I would go back home, but right now, I needed to free my mind of Mia. What that included, I had no idea.
Chapter 13
Mia
Life before Seth had been simple.
I went to school, hung out with Grace, and had come to terms with the death of my parents.
Now, after losing Seth, I was lost. Nothing made sense anymore. I couldn't find the beauty in things like I once had been able to. Painting was no longer something I desired to do.
Isaac noticed the change in my behavior and even though I told her not to, Grace spilled the drama that went down between me and Seth. While he hated to see me broken-hearted, I think Isaac was a little relieved to see Seth gone. He had tolerated him, but something about Seth had always bothered Isaac. Was that a sign too?
“How are you doing?” Grace asked, as she stopped by my locker.
I had finally made my way back to school and was just getting through the days as best as I could. Everyone knew that Seth was gone.
I could feel their stares as they watched me walk down the halls. The pity in their eyes was almost as painful as the heartbreak itself.
“I’m fine,” I said, slamming my locker door a little too loudly.
“Sure,” Grace said, rolling her eyes.
“Do you need anything?” I asked, making my way down the hall.
Following close behind me, Grace began chatting. “Yeah. There is a party Friday night and I think you need to go.”
“Friday is so far away, I will have to see,” I said, trying to stall.
“It’s Thursday, Mia. Friday is tomorrow,” Grace said, grabbing my arm and stopping me. “Look, you have to start living again. You are going with me to that party. I don’t care what you say. I will drag you there if I have to,” she stated firmly.
How could I have gone through the entire week and not realized it. I knew I had been in a funk, but this really showed me just how low I was.
“Ok,” I said. “Enough is enough. You are right, I will go,” I stated.
Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, Grace pulled me in for a hug while she squealed with delight.
Laughing, I tried to pry her off of me, but she had me in a death grip. “You will not regret this, Mia,” Grace cheered.
Finally getting out of her hold, I took a step back and looked at my excited best friend.
Maybe Grace was right. It was time for me to get out and live again. There was life after Seth, right?
Chapter 14
Mia
“Why aren’t you painting?”
Laying on the couch, I was lost in a reality show and stuffing my face with Doritos. My red Converse sneakers were strewn around the living room and I was sure I looked like a slob. Sitting up, I looked to Isaac who was leaning against the entry to the kitchen.
“What?” I asked.
Shoving off the wall, he walked over to me. “Mia, look at you,” he said pointing to my chest.
Looking down, I noticed crumbs scattered all over my gray shirt. “Ok, so I am being a little messy. What does that have to do with painting?” I asked.
Shaking his head, Isaac stared at me. “You are not going to be that girl,” he said, emphasizing the word girl. “You are so wrapped up in your own misery, that you are missing the life around you. Paint. Go party. Meet guys. Do something other than sit on this couch and waste your life away,” he says.
Anger boils inside of me. “For your information, I am going to a party with Grace tonight,” I say.
Shock flashes across his features. “Really?” he asks.
Before I can answer, our front door opens and Grace walks in like she owns the place.
“Come right in,” Isaac says sarcastically.
Grace flashes him a smile before turning to me with a disgusted look on her face.
“You are not seriously dressed yet?” she asks.
“Help her,” Isaac says, shaking his head before walking away.
Grace eyes me carefully and I know I am about to be lectured.
****
An hour later, I am dressed in a sleeveless black dress, silver sandals, and my hair is pulled back into a high ponytail. As Grace finishes my makeup, I sigh as I look at us in the mirror. Grace has been by my side through all of this.
“So, are you still seeing that mystery guy?” I ask.
It hit me that while I had been complaining and crying to Grace, I had also forgotten to ask her about her life. I had been selfish and I hated myself for being so stuck in my own world.
“Not really. It’s complicated. I think I am going to date around,” she says, adding some blush to my cheeks.
I nod, not sure if I should pry any further. Hopefully, she will meet someone soon that will treat her like a queen.
Once Grace is finished dressing me up, we leave and head to the party. Thankfully, it is a field party off one of the country roads. The football team is hosting the party and as we pull up to the field, it looks like the entire school is here. A raging fire ignites flashes of reds, oranges, and yellow into the black night. A bunch of kids stand around, talking and drinking while others dance to music being blasted through a trucks speakers.
We head over to where everyone is gathered and I stand awkwardly. Grace waves at a few people she knows, but I just stand by myself. It’s no secret that I’m not popular, and I really have never taken the time to get to know many of my classmates.
A drunk guy stumbles over to me and almost knocks me over. A hand reaches out to help me, and as I turn, I lock eyes with a guy I recognize from my Biology class.
“Thanks,” I say, as he helps me stand right again.
“No problem. Hey, don’t we have a class together,” he says. “I’m Mark.”
I nod. “Yeah, Biology.”
“Cool. Aren’t you dating that Seth guy?” he as
ks, taking a sip from his beer.
I feel like I was just punched in the gut. I try to keep my face calm, but inside I am a disaster. I want to cry at the mention of Seth’s name.
“Um, I was. We broke up,” I say, trying to keep a smile on my face.
“Oh, that sucks. His bike was cool. But, I haven’t seen him at school,” Mark says.
“Yeah, I don’t know,” I sigh.
The conversation is uncomfortable and Mark offers a slight wave before walking away.
Looking around, I realize I need to get somewhere, anywhere, that isn’t here. Walking around, I find a large tree where no one else is around. I sit down and pull my knees up to my chest. For the rest of the time we are here, I cry alone like the loser I am.
Grace: Where are you?
I see my phone light up with a text from Grace. Part of me wants to tell her I am miserable and want to go home, but the other part of me knows that Grace deserves this. It’s my turn to do something for her. I scan the area and see Grace dancing with a guy from the football team. She looks happy.
Me: Hey, just hanging around. Having a blast!
I see Grace look at her phone while dancing and a wide smile spreads across her face. I refuse to break that smile. Tucking my phone away, I watch from a distance as everyone else lives their happy lives.
Chapter 15
Mia
The week passed by like a blur. I went to class, work, and then back home. I was just going with the flow and not finding ways to be truly happy. I had even started painting again, though, my work was nothing like it used to be. Grace’s words struck me hard the other day. I had to move forward. As much as I loved Seth and it killed me to lose him, I had to move on. My parents wouldn’t want me sitting around letting life pass me by. I owed it to them, as much as myself, to get back on track.
“I will be back later tonight,” Isaac said, as he grabbed his car keys from the entryway table.
“What?” I asked.
I had been lost in some reality television show and barely registered that Isaac was even around me. When I turned to look at him, I noticed that he was dressed up. I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen Isaac dressed in something other than his trademark jeans and company shirt. Now, though, he looked dapper in a pair of khaki pants and a blue, button down shirt.
“Mia, I really need to know that you are going to be ok while I go out. Want me to call Grace to come over?” Isaac asked.
I shook my head, no, as I mustered a smile. I turned off the television and stood, walking over to him. “I promise I will be fine. I will call Grace if I get lonely, but you need to go out,” I said, encouraging him to go out.
He seemed to relax a little as he saw me smile. “Ok good. I just know how much stress you have been under,” he said.
We really hadn’t talked much about Seth being gone, but we both know that I had not been myself lately.
“Where are you going?” I asked, raising my brows at him.
“Actually, I have a date,” Isaac said.
Sighing, he seemed almost reluctant to tell me.
“That’s great,” I beamed.
“Really?” he asked, seeming surprised. “Her name is Lana and I met her at the coffee shop. It took me a while to ask her out. I didn’t want to take time away from you after everything that has happened,” he said.
Stepping toward him, I wanted Isaac to really hear me. Since our parents died, Isaac had given up his entire life to take care of me. It was his turn to do something for himself for once.
“Isaac, you need to focus on you. I think it’s great that you have a date. Maybe I can meet her one day,” I added.
“Let’s just see how tonight goes,” he said, reaching for the door.
“I won’t wait up,” I said, giggling.
Isaac walked out the door and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Realizing how important it was for Isaac to go on this date, I did something I never imagined I would be doing. I ran to my bedroom and retrieved my phone. Dialing Grace’s number, I waited for Grace to answer.
“Hey, what’s up?” Grace asked, as soon as she answered.
“Isaac is out on a date tonight,” I said. I flopped down on my bed and stared up at my ceiling as we talked. It was the first time in what felt like forever that I acted like a teenager.
“Wow, that’s new,” Grace laughed. “I thought he was going to become a monk or something,” she teased.
“Yeah, me, too. But honestly, it’s time for Isaac to get out and act like a young guy. He took on the father role and hasn’t focused on himself. I am really happy for him.”
“Me too. Your brother is pretty great,” Grace agreed.
“Well, that is actually why I am calling,” I began. “Seeing Isaac go out tonight made me realize that I can’t continue to live in self-pity anymore. Seth left and made his own bad choices. Now, it’s my turn to move on. I want you to set me up on a date,” I finished.
“Really?” she squealed. “I thought you would never ask. I will find someone that you will just adore,” Grace almost yelled into the phone.
“Thanks,” I stated.
We talked for a few more minutes before finally getting off the phone. I went to bed that night feeling hopeful for the first time in what felt like forever.
Chapter 16
Seth
I don’t know what I had been thinking.
Telling Mia that I was leaving town was my only option. If she knew that I was still around, she never would have let me go.
Each day without her, I felt like I was dying. All I had left was a picture taken when we were still happy. I kept it in my pocket and looked at it everyday. I swear, it was the only thing that kept me going. At night, I would drive past her house when I knew she was fast asleep. Then, I would listen to her old voicemails, just so I could hear her voice again.
In my dreams, I would see her. We would go to our spot and ride on my bike together. There were times when I never wanted to wake because once morning came, Mia would leave me again.
Sitting in my backyard, I saw my phone light up with an incoming call. Answering, I knew it was Brody.
“Hey man,” I said, sighing as I sat back on the medal chair.
“How are you holding up?” Brody asked.
He asked the same thing everyday. Ever since he told me about Mia showing up at the Raven’s Clubhouse and losing her shit on him, I hadn’t been the same.
“I’m as good as can be expected. Any updates?” I asked.
This was also part of our daily conversations. I wanted to know how Mia was, but I could never make myself say her name aloud. It hurt too much. At least in my dreams, she didn’t feel real.
“She seems to be doing better I think. I even spotted her brother, Isaac, out on a date last night. Look man, I know that you think leaving Mia was best, but…”
I couldn’t let him finish that statement. I knew what he was going to say; that if I just talked to Mia, I could make everything right again. But, I just couldn’t do that, yet. If I could only finish paying off the warehouse and build my company I could prove to Mia that I was deserving of her love. Right now, I wasn’t good for her. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if I ever would be.
“Brody, you are my best friend, but I already told you, I won’t talk about any of that,” I seethed.
“Fine,” he sighed.
“Well, I thought I would tell you there is another race happening Saturday night. From what I hear, big money is being passed around.”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t hear me.
“I will be there. Just do me a favor, make sure Mia doesn’t show up,” I said, before hanging up the phone.
Now, I just needed to tune up my bike and pray that I won this race. My entire life depended on earning the money I needed. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to pay back my gambling loans or win back Mia.
Chapter 17
Mia
Friday after school, I was sitting behind the count
er at our coffee shop while Isaac was on another date with the same woman from the other night. I still hadn’t met her yet, but I trusted his judgment and knew that if he liked her, she must be pretty great.
I heard the bell chime, and I looked up to see Grace sauntering into the shop.
“Hey,” I said, waving at her.
She sat at one of the barstools at the counter and began sorting through a menu. We both knew what she was going to order, but she always did this same song and dance.
“Why don’t you just go ahead and order your blueberry scone and hazelnut coffee?” I asked, rolling my eyes at her.
“Fine,” she huffed, giggling a bit.
I got to work getting her order ready when I heard the bell chime again. I don’t bother looking up, but when I go to hand Grace her food, her head is turned and her mouth is hanging down to the floor.
I followed her gaze to where two guys just walked in. I pause, holding her scone and coffee in mid-air as I watch them find a seat by the window facing the street.
They are both gorgeous with blonde hair and bright blue eyes.
“Wow,” Grace breathes, as she slowly turns back to face me.
“Yeah,” I agree, placing her coffee in front of her. I drop the scone and then shake my head.
“Those guys are really hot,” Grace says, in a whisper.
“Not my typical type, but I have to agree, they are nice to look at,” I add.
This gets Grace’s attention. “They aren’t wearing leather and riding motorcycles, so yes, they are not your type. Maybe that’s a good thing,” Grace states.
“What are you talking about?” I ask, grabbing a rag to wipe down the counter.
Grace takes a bite of her scone and I watch as the crumbs fall to the plate below. “Seth is what you are looking for, but I think you need to find someone who is the opposite of Seth. Think about it; you need someone safe and who won’t run when things get though,” Grace finishes, eyeing me carefully.
