by Leigh Allen
I think over her words for a minute and suddenly, I realize she is right. Maybe the best thing to do to get over Seth is to date someone unlike him. Grace takes a sip of her coffee and then moves off of the stool.
“What are you doing?” I ask, grabbing her hand as she slides off the stool.
“I’m going to get us dates,” she says, winking at me.
She brushes my hand off of hers, and then walks over to the guys.She sways her hips in a suggestive manner, and the guys look up, both smiling as she approaches their table. Another waitress is already over there taking their orders, but that doesn’t stop Grace from introducing herself to them. I can’t hear their conversation, but I see Grace smile and laugh several times.
I try to keep myself busy at the counter, acting as though I’m not dying to know what is happening at the table. When Grace finally comes back to the counter, my heart is beating wildly in my chest.
She sits, takes a bite of her scone, and is silent.
It’s killing me to not ask her what happened and she knows it.
Finally, I can’t take it anymore. “Grace, tell me what you just did,” I beg, glaring at her.
Grace lets out a laugh, taking a sip of her coffee before answering me. “I knew you were interested,” she gloats at first. “Anyway, I told them about how we were looking for plans this weekend. They want to take us out tomorrow to the fair,” she said.
The fair? In my days of self-pity, I had completely forgotten about the yearly fair that happened in Hollow Cove.
“Are you serious?” I ask.
“Of course, I’m serious. Get ready Mia, you are going to get over Seth this weekend,” she says.
I lean my elbows on the counter and smile, though my heart is breaking inside at the thought of Seth not taking up my heart and mind anymore.
Chapter 18
Mia
We sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Every now and then Seth would plant small kisses up and down my neck, before moving up to my lips and right below my chin. I closed my eyes and drowned in the way he made me feel, it was so intoxicating.
“Damn, I could stay right here with you forever,” Seth growled.
I pulled away for a moment and looked deep into his eyes. “Seth, what are we doing?” I asked.
Chuckling, Seth smiled. “Right now, I am tasting your sweet skin,” he moaned.
Putting my hand on his chest, I stopped him from moving close again. If he kept this up, I would never find the courage to speak up. “No, I mean, you and me?”
Seth looked at me carefully before backing away. “What do you mean?” he asked, taking a nervous gulp.
I could feel my hands shaking as I fought to speak the next words. “Well, we have been hanging out a lot, and doing other stuff...Are we…”
“Are you looking for a label?” he asked. “I mean, you know I like you and I know you like me, but… I am not sure this would work outside of this place,” he finished, waving his arms around indicating the field.
My eyes shoot open and I am struggling to breathe. I had been dreaming of a time when a small misunderstanding was the biggest concern for me and Seth. The memory brings back all of the pain that I had thought was gone. Missing Seth was like taking a bullet and I wanted nothing more than to take the pain away, but even when I slept, my mind couldn’t forget about him.
Glancing at my bedside clock, I noticed it was after five in the morning. I had heard Isaac come home after midnight from another date, and I had been struggling to stay asleep. I wasn’t sure why I was so restless, but something told me it had something to do with my upcoming date. Realizing there was no way I was going back to sleep now, I got out of bed and got ready for the day. It was crazy, but I kept myself busy with cleaning my room and bathroom. The sun wasn’t even up yet and I had managed to clean my entire house.
When Isaac came walking out of his bedroom hours later, he looked around at our sparkling clean house like he wasn’t sure he was in the right home.
“Um, Mia. What’s going on?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to clean,” I said, shrugging my shoulders like it wasn’t a big deal.
“Are you ok?” he asked me, as he walked into the kitchen.
I followed closely behind him and watched as he began to make a pot of coffee.
“I’m fine, Isaac. Just had a bad dream,” I admitted, sitting down at the kitchen table.
Isaac made us both coffee and then joined me at the table. We sat there in silence for a few minutes before he began to speak. “Mia, I know you have been doing better, but I am still worried about you,” he said, sipping his coffee.
“I know, but I promise I am working through things. In fact, Grace and I have a double date tomorrow night,” I said.
I saw Isaac’s eyes grow wide as he stared at me in shock. “Really?”
“Yes. Just like you said, I have to move on. Honestly, I was inspired by your decision to date again. I had to open my eyes and realize that Seth and I are over. I can’t just sit around and mope all day. You and I are going to move on and get our lives back,” I say, smiling at Isaac.
A bright smile spreads across his face. He looks so much younger when he smiles and is relaxed.
“Well, I’m really glad to hear that. How about I invite Lana over for dinner so you can meet her?” he asks.
“I think that would be great,” I say.
Isaac and I talk a few more minutes before he rushes off to get ready for work. I spend the rest of the day painting and listening to music. Isaac and I finally are taking the necessary steps forward in getting our lives back. Now, I just needed to forget I ever met Seth.
****
Before I knew it, it was time for my double date with Grace. I still didn’t know our dates names, a minor detail that Grace refused to give me. According to Grace, she was afraid that if I knew their names, I might stalk them on social media and learn too much about them. Honestly, I think she thought I was going to bail out or something. It wasn’t impossible due to my behavior lately, but I was really trying now.
Grace and I drove to a small cafe where we were going to meet the guys before heading to the fair. Again, Grace had every step of this date planned. Apparently, you always went to a small location first and if you didn’t like the guys, you could leave without being too far into the date. I had to give it to Grace, she knew her way around the dating game. I had been so out of the loop, I wasn’t privy to these insane rules.
When we arrived at the cafe, we spotted the guys waiting outside for us. As I got out of the car, I took a few extra seconds to really get a good look at the guy who was my date for the evening. He had shaggy blonde hair, blue eyes, and was dressed very nice in khaki shorts and a light blue Polo shirt. He was presentable and seemed like a true gentleman. I couldn’t help the stabbing pain in my heart as I realized he was the complete opposite of Seth. Maybe that was why Grade had chosen him.
Following Grace, we greeted the guys and made our way inside of the cafe.
“Hey,” my date said. He extended his hand out to me. “So, apparently we weren’t supposed to know one another’s names,” he said, almost laughing.
I was glad that he was making light of the situation. It made me feel a little bit better. “Yeah, my friend Grace is a little nuts. Anyway, I’m Mia,” I said, taking his hand and shaking it.
“Hey, Mia. I’m Alex,” he said.
I waited for the sparks to fly or electricity to pop, but nothing happened.
Disappointment filled me and I tried to hide it from showing on my face. Alex and I followed Grace, and her date, Aaron, to a small table facing the street. We each ordered frappuccinos and chatted about our schools--they went to the school across town-- and our jobs. The guys were friendly enough, but there was something missing.
Just as Alex turned to ask me a question, the roar of a motorcycle filtered inside the cafe and I swear, I felt my heart stop. Sitting up straigh
ter, I pressed my face against the window and stared out to the street. Two older guys pulled up to the stoplight and let their bikes go idle for a minute. Realizing it wasn’t Seth, I sat back and my body relaxed. As I looked up again, I spotted Alex and Aaron looking at me like I had lost my mind and Grace was staring daggers at me.
Great, I knew I would hear about that later.
“So, I guess we should get going to the fair,” Aaron suggested, as we were all almost finished with our drinks.
“Sure,” I said.
We paid and left a tip on the table for our waitress. As we walked out to our cars, Grace grabbed my arm and stopped me.
“What the hell was that back there?” she asked, clearly meaning my insane window moment.
Shaking my head, I took a deep breath. “Nothing. I thought I saw something, but I was wrong,” I said.
“I know what you thought you saw. Mia, you have to let go of Seth. He’s gone and these guys are here, right here in front of us.”
She was right. But, it still killed me to know that Seth wasn’t coming back. I got into the car and as we followed the guys to the fairgrounds, I tried to hide the lone tear that slipped down my cheek.
Chapter 19
Seth
It’s too late to apologize. It’s too late to beg for forgiveness. It’s too late to get back everything I lost.
I know all of that now, but it still hurts like hell to know that Mia isn’t mine anymore. She will always hold my heart, but she deserves better than me right now. I don’t know if I will ever be good enough for her.
Leaning over the engine of a car I’m working on, I hear Brody walk up behind me. His biker boots are loud and scrape against the concrete.
“Hey man,” I say, not even looking up.
Since I returned home, I have been hiding out. Anytime I need to work on a car or bike, I make sure to work at the clients house or garage. I can’t risk Mia seeing me at my house, if she would ever happen to drive by. I doubt she would, but still.
Even when I race, I make sure to use a different name and wait until the last minute to get there. It’s like I’m a ghost now.
Brody walks up to me and I hear him sigh. I can tell from his stance that something is wrong. Standing up, I wipe my hands on my jeans as I turn to face him.
“What?” I ask.
“Seth, the race coming up, the guys who you owe money to will be there,” he said, his eyes focused on mine.
Shit. I almost have the money I owe for the bet I lost, but I still am short a couple hundred of dollars. I know these guys don’t want to hear about my issues nor do they care. Running my hand through my messy hair, I stare up at the sky for a minute. I try not to panic, but I know I have gotten myself into some deep shit right now.
“I’ll have it,” I lie.
“Seth, are you sure?” Brody asks, narrowing his gaze on me.
We have been friends since we were kids. Brody knows me better than anyone else in the world. And right now, my best friend knows that I am lying to him. I am busting my ass to come up with the money, but around here, money isn’t always easy to come by.
“Yeah, I will figure something out,” I say.
“I don’t like the way that sounds,” Brody sighs. “Look, this whole mess started because I let you start racing behind the Raven’s Bar and I introduced you to the guys who were gambling on the races. This is all my fault,” Brody states.
Anger washes over me. This is not his fault. “Brody, I made the decision to race and I made the decision to get involved with those guys. If anyone is at fault here, it’s me. I know that. I won’t let you feel bad about any of this,” I say.
Brody nods his head toward the grass and I follow as he walks over and sits under a large tree.
“How did you know where I was?” I asked.
“You told me last week you would be working on a car over here at Mark’s brothers house,” Brody reminds me.
Damn, my mind has gone to hell lately. I can’t remember anything. Well, that’s not true. I remember everything about Mia. The way her sweet voice said my name, her scent, and the way just looking at her would drive me wild. That’s all I remember now.
“Oh yeah, I forgot,” I say.
We sit there for a few minutes and I relax. I have been working non-stop and my body is aching.
“So, what about the warehouse?” Brody asks.
This all started because I wanted to buy a warehouse to start my own business. Now, I feel like that dream is slipping away like everything else in my life.
I run my hand over my face as I struggle to find the right words to say. “I have no idea. Everything is so fucked up right now. I feel like I’m drowning. I owe so much, I may never get that warehouse,” I admit.
“I think you are putting way too much pressure on yourself. The warehouse was a dream you had because of…” he stops himself before saying her name.
I might be able to say it in my head, but hearing her name aloud is just too painful.
I nod, showing him I know what he was about to say and that I am grateful that he stopped himself.
“Well, that dream has died. All I can do now is get myself out of his dilemma, first,” I sigh.
Brody pats me on the shoulder and we just sit for a few minutes longer.
“You hungry?” I ask.
“Starving. Let’s go get something to eat and then I will come back and help you finish up this car,” Brody offers.
“I can’t ask you to do that,” I begin to argue.
“You didn’t. I’m offering,” he says, standing up and offering me his hand to help me up.
I might be alone right now, but at least I have my best friend by my side. Honestly, he may be the only one by my side.
Chapter 20
Seth
We ride out to a small burger joint just on the outskirts of town. The sun has set and the night sky is cool and feels good against my tired skin. We park our bikes and take our food over to a picnic table that faces the road.
We watch as cars pass by, all heading out to the county fair. I bite into my burger and almost moan out loud. Now that I think about it, this is the first time I’ve eaten all day. I have been so caught up in working, I guess I forget to eat.
I see a familiar car pull up near us and I feel like I am going to puke. A familiar head of blonde hair fills my vision and I know it is Grace, Mia’s best friend.
Grace is talking and all I can see is the side of her face.
My eyes instantly travel to the passenger side of the car and as much as I know I shouldn’t, I can’t seem to take my eyes off the car. From where I am sitting, I can’t see the passenger yet. I wait for a glimpse of that delicious chocolate brown hair.
Brody notices me staring and his eyes travel to where I am looking. I see him shake his head as a look of panic crosses his features.
I haven’t seen Mia since the day she left me. I don’t know if I can do this.
“Maybe we should just go,” Brody offers, standing.
I’m frozen in place and unable to react or respond. It’s like I can’t function until I see her. Maybe just a glimpse will suffice for a while.
Grace pulls her car up a bit, the line is now extending far down the road as people wait to get onto the fairgrounds. Her window is slightly open and the light sound of music rolls out. I can hear Grace’s voice and I just wait, my heart refusing to beat as I wait.
Then, I hear it.
That sultry laugh that could make me smile every time. My heart feels like it is going to explode as I finally get a glimpse of the girl who shattered my heart, but still holds all of the pieces.
Then, I see her face. That beautiful face that still haunts my mind every damn day.
“Seth, come on. Let’s just go,” Brody says again, this time he grabs his helmet off the table.
“No, I just need to look at her,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Brody says, and I hear the conce
rn in his voice.
Mia throws her head back as she slumps down in the seat. Something about her movements causes alarm in me. If I didn’t know better, she almost looks upset. I lean over, placing my hands on my knees as I watch her. She’s smiling, but that normal glow that usually radiates around her is gone. Her emerald green eyes seem darker for some reason and a part of me wants to run over to the car and beg her to tell me what’s wrong.
But, I don’t. Because I can’t.
She’s not mine anymore.
I see Mia sigh and she turns and that’s when it happens.
It’s like the earth and sun collide as everything around me shatters.
Mia sees me and our eyes lock. I feel like I have just been punched in the gut as her face stares at me. But, the worst part is the way her smile fades and tears fill her eyes. Even from the distance between us, I see the pain in her features.
I can’t move. I hear Brody saying something to me, but I can’t make out his words. It’s like I am locked inside of a wind tunnel and I am about to lose my life.
The car moves forward as the traffic begins to move and she’s gone. Almost like she was never there to begin with. But, she was.
The excruciating pain I feel right now proves that Mia was there right there in front of me and she was sad. Did I cause that pain? Did someone else hurt her? I realized right then that I had to know if Mia was ok.
Chapter 21
Mia
I feel like I just saw a ghost. Was my mind playing tricks on me or was Seth really sitting on a picnic table staring at me?
My blood goes cold as I try to clear my mind. I can’t tell Grace that I just saw the boy who I had fallen madly in love with, but had let walk away. If she knew, she would push harder for me to date any and every guy she encountered. I just needed to get through tonight and then tomorrow, I could find a way to know if Seth, was in fact, home.
