“When you’re ready, I’ll help you book the flight,” she says. “But if he’s dangerous, maybe you should have someone with you when you talk to him.”
Anger like I’ve never felt wraps around me, and I quickly stand up. “I never said he was dangerous. I said he wasn’t a good guy, which wasn’t all that true,” I yell.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” she says, fixing her crop top as she stands.
“It’s not that he can’t be sweet and funny, it’s the club. I mean the guys are all nice and they really do all love each other and they accepted me, but it’s what happens that doesn’t involve me,” I ramble.
“Do they kill people?” she asks, horrified.
“No, of course not,” I lie. The sudden need to protect them all is overwhelming. I’m making them out to be horrible guys, but it’s not entirely true. The killings and violence is what scares me. The guys aren’t bad.
“Damn, okay good,” she breathes out. “I’m not gonna tell you what to do or rush you into any decisions. I personally think you should tell him and get right back here, but that’s just me. Does your friend know about him?”
I laugh as I sit back down. “She’s married into the club. Her husband and Kace, the baby’s dad, are best friends.” I stop and look down. The baby’s dad. Holy shit.
“So, you were completely different in Vegas,” she says, running her eyes over me.
I lift one shoulder and glance at her blue eyes, full of curiosity. “Not completely different, but I went through a lot and decided I needed a life change. I got that coming here and now I’m gonna need to go back and it all scares me. Not just to tell him, but to go back to where I’m from. I’m scared it’s gonna suck me back in.”
“Do you want me to come?” she offers.
I smile, shaking my head. “That’s very nice, but no, I need to do this alone.”
The idea of being back in Vegas, seeing Harper, and telling Kace has a sob escape me as I break down. I cry and scream as I hold a throw pillow against my chest. Mia wraps an arm around me, and I sob onto her shoulder.
I have no idea how long I’ve been crying for, it feels like hours, but exhaustion is taking over. I sit up, still crying but not as hard. “I need to get some sleep.”
“Go ahead, I’ll clean this up and go grab something for dinner. I’ll give you a few hours, but I will be back and you're gonna need to eat.” She stands up and pulls me off the couch. “Go get some sleep.” I start to walk away, and she calls my name. She has a big bright smile on her face. “Congratulations.”
When I wake up, the sky is turning pink and I realize I’ve slept the day away. I wish I could continue to sleep because I like not thinking, but it’s impossible. My stomach churns and I rush off to the bathroom. I don’t even know how it’s possible to keep throwing up when I haven’t eaten anything. I rest my back on the bathtub and hang my head. How long am I going to feel like this? I can’t take care of myself and worry about how Kace is going to react. I need to get that over with and focus on me. I’m scared of so many things. I have no idea how to take care of a baby, no idea how I’m going to support a baby, no idea how I’m going to do it alone. Not to mention I’m scared of all the things that can go wrong. What if I’m like Mia and lose the baby? What if Kace tries to take the baby from me? I can’t handle the thoughts as more tears. Fuck, is this the hormones? Are they taking over my body already?
After crying as I think of every scenario, I finally drag myself out of the bathroom. I pad to the kitchen and find a note from Mia.
You were still asleep, there’s food in the oven. Text me if you feel like talking.
She’s too nice and I don’t understand it. I thought I was a generous person, but she makes me seem like a huge bitch. I’d offer my friendship if she was pregnant, but I wouldn’t offer to turn my life upside down for her.
I look in the oven and find a grilled cheese and french fries. My stomach growls in approval, so I pull it out. I bring the food and water into the living room and sit down. As much as I don’t want to, I pull out my cell phone and press Harper’s number.
My stomach turns with nerves, but I take a bite of my sandwich to try to give myself some strength.
“Hey, how are you?” Harper answers, happily.
“Hey,” I say, holding back a sob as I hear her voice.
“What’s wrong?” she rushes out.
I want to tell her right now, but I know I need to wait until I see her. She’s either gonna want to hug me or punch me. “Nothing, just getting over something. I’m coming for a visit.”
“When?”
“I’m gonna try to get a flight out tomorrow,” I say. She’s quiet and it causes goose bumps to break out all over my skin. “What’s going on?”
“No, nothing. Let me know what time your fight is, and I’ll pick you up,” she says.
“Harper Madden, what the fuck is going on?” I hiss.
She sighs and I hear a door close. “Nothing for you to worry about it, it’s club business,” she whispers.
Of course, it is. It’s always going to be club business with them. I need to just get there, tell them, and get back to my peaceful place. I’m sure that’s exactly what Kace is going to want anyway. I close my eyes, fighting back more tears.
“Ivy?” Harper questions.
I clear my throat, sitting up straighter. “Sorry, what?”
“I said what’s really going on?”
“We’ll talk tomorrow, I just wanted to let you know I’m coming home.”
She continues to push, but I tell her a friend is coming over so I need to go. I finish half my grilled cheese while I search for flights to Vegas tomorrow. I find one and book it, hoping that tomorrow at this time I’ll be searching for flights back here.
Chapter 5
Kace
“You guys look like shit,” Zane says, laughing as he sits down. He rests his hands behind his head looking over our various injuries. I’ve got stitches above my eye and some bruising around it. My lip is swollen, which caused me to need to remove my lip ring. I fucking hate not having it in, but I need the swelling to go down so it doesn’t rip. Riley’s nose is broken, so he’s rocking a splint on it and some seriously black and blue eyes. Porter’s lip is swollen with a nice gash from his tooth going into his lip. Alex has some bruised ribs, but nothing visible and Finn came out unscathed.
“Fuck off,” Riley says, flipping it off.
Zane blows out a breath, running his hand through his hair as he looks around at us. “We need this deal to go through.”
“You think it will?” I ask, crossing my muscular arms.
“I honestly don’t know. Harper is doing her best, but the dealer never dealt with anyone but Kingsley or Dom. Without those two, it’s a big uncertainty,” he says, lifting his shoulder.
“If Riley would’ve just kept his fucking mouth shut, maybe we wouldn’t need to have an extra thing to worry about,” Alex hisses.
“No one is going to disrespect me; I don’t give a shit who it is. We are goddamn Shattered Souls, they will fucking respect us all,” Riley growls.
“You don’t get respect from running your mouth, asshole. You earn it from being the bigger person and ignoring juvenile bullshit,” Alex retorts, moving closer to Riley’s face.
“Enough,” Zane yells. “What’s done is done, we can’t change it.”
Alex is right. Riley should’ve just laughed it off or ignored him completely, but that’s not him. He reacts before he thinks, always has. He did make this worse because now Damon is gonna want my blood, not his and no one earned respect. I’m pissed I’ll be looking over my shoulder because of defending him.
“What can we do to help Harper?” I ask, needing to focus on something other than beating the shit out of Riley.
He shakes his head, leaning back in the chair. “We’re gonna need to discuss it all around the table. Brooks wants to hear what everyone thinks.”
“Harper shouldn’t even be involved,” Riley says
.
“No shit, but what choice do we have?” Zane growls, leaning over the table.
I grab his arm, pulling his back. “We have no choice. She’s only talking to former Vegas Kings, we’ll handle the dealer,” I say, more for Zane’s sanity.
“She’s meeting with Marco today, so we’ll see what he says,” Zane says, sighing.
“Look, no matter what happens, this shit isn’t about you and Harper. This is about trying to keep those pricks out of our neighborhood. It’s not the same thing, brother. Let that shit go. We won and you are fucking happy,” I say, slapping Zane’s shoulder.
Porter carefully tips his beer back, careful not to hit his lip, as he looks around. “Kace is right. This problem is not focused on one of us, it’s all of us. The Vegas Kings were bad because of the drugs, but we don’t need drugs and psychotic assholes. This plan will work, we just need to convince the dealer what a great opportunity it is. It’s the money they’re after, not making friends. They won’t care how fucking insane and unstable the Raging Devils are, as long as they are selling.”
We all nod agreeing and for the first time since yesterday, I feel a little lighter. Porter made a great point. It’s all about the money and if we can convince the dealer they will sell more than Kingsley ever imagined, he’ll go for it.
“You’re right,” I say, tilting my beer to him. I look at Riley and shake my head. “You’re lucky.”
He scoffs, rolling his eyes, which causes him pain that he doesn’t bring attention to. Brooks and Enzo come in and we all get around the table. It takes longer than I expected, but we finally decide the best move is exactly what Porter said. Once we find out who the dealer is, we can take it from there. I’m hoping Harper is able to get some information for us.
“What’s going on tonight?” I ask Zane when we are walking out of the room.
“I’m going home to have sex with my gorgeous wife,” he says, smiling.
I think it might be the first time I’m jealous he’s married. It must be nice not having to call your fuck buddy and hope she’s got no plans. Although, I have a feeling if I called Brittany, she’d ignore me like I have been her. Not because her feelings are hurt, but because she was horny and had to look elsewhere. I’m not even sure why I’ve been ignoring her, but I’m not going to fucking worry about it.
“Hey, before I get to the fucking, you wanna stop by and we’ll see what happened with Harper today?”
“As long as I’m outta there before the fucking starts,” I joke.
He laughs as we walk out of Souls. “No promises,” he says, lighting a cigarette.
It’s a short drive to Zane’s and it brings back memories of the months I stayed here. I miss it. Not the reason I was here, but the fun we all had. It was nice feeling like a family. A fucked up, crazy family, but still a family.
“You miss having me around?” I ask, laughing.
Z stops at the front door and turns with a smirk on his face. “Yeah Kace, every time I’m done fucking my wife, we both mourn the loss of having you around all the time.”
I flip him off, shaking my head. “Funny, I mourn the loss of your manhood all the time.”
We both walk in the door laughing, but Zane stops short, causing me to crash into his back. Before I can say anything, my eyes land on Ivy. Without thought my pulse picks up, my heart squeezes, and my skin is on fire. Fuck, she’s even more beautiful than I remember.
“I’m pregnant,” she whispers to Harper.
“What?” Harper whispers back.
“What?” Zane says.
“WHAT?” I yell, stepping out from behind Zane.
They both spin around, and Ivy’s wide brown eyes collide with mine. “Kace,” she breathes out, shock clear on her face.
“You’re pregnant?” I ask, moving closer.
“This isn’t how I wanted you to find out,” she says, rushing out of her seat. She runs down the hallways, slamming the bathroom door.
I stare at the closed door, until Z touches my shoulder. I spin around and look between him and Harper. “She’s pregnant?”
“That’s what she said,” Harper says, giving a weak smile.
I swallow past the tightness in my throat and grab onto the back of the chair. “Who’s the father?”
“I don’t know. You heard as much as I did. I’m so sorry, Kace. I know you guys didn’t work out, but I know you have feelings for her.” I lift an eyebrow and she rolls her eyes. “Cut the shit. I know exactly what you felt toward her.” She stands up and squeezes my arm. “I’m gonna check on her. You guys should go. You don’t need all the details.”
She walks down the hall and I look at Z. “Shit brother, I had no idea. Come on, lets get back to Souls and get drunk.”
“What if it’s mine?” I whisper, looking down at the floor.
“What?” Zane yells. I glance up at him and he shakes his head. “You had sex with her?”
“Yeah, at your wedding,” I say, blowing out a breath. I scrub my face and start to pace. “We used a condom though, so what the fuck?”
“You had sex at my wedding?”
I stop pacing and look at him. He has a smirk on his face that is getting bigger as I look at him. “Z, fuck you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because we aren’t teenage girls,” I say, squeezing the back of my neck as I pace again.
Is she here because it’s mine or because she just needs her friend? I don’t know which one I’d rather, but I know right now I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I’m not leaving until I fucking know.
“No shit, but damn,” he says, going into the kitchen. He comes back with a beer for both of us and I take it, downing half of it. “So, it could be your kid?”
I shake my head, wishing I had my lip ring in to chew on. “Fuck Zane, I have no idea. I mean I guess, but we used a condom.” I look up at him and run my hand through my hair. “I’m always fucking careful.”
“I know that,” he says, sitting down. “Are you pissed cause it might not be yours?”
My eyes snap to his and as much as the question infuriates me, I honestly don’t know if it’s because she could be pregnant with my kid or someone else’s. “I honestly don’t know. I should go check on her,” I say, finishing off my beer.
“Maybe give them a little longer,” Z, suggests.
I give a hollow laugh and cross my arms. “She came back here, she’s not gonna hide.”
I don’t let him say anything else, I walk away and down the hall. I’m not ready for bullshit drama of who’s the baby daddy. I know damn well she wasn’t with anyone for a while before me because she was tight, but I have no idea who she’s been with since. I reach the bathroom door and close my eyes. Just talk to her, find out the truth.
I knock on the door and Harper opens it. “Hey,” she says, squeezing past me.
The door swings open wider and I see Ivy sitting on the toilet sipping water. Her head slowly lifts as she blows out a breath. Now that I’m looking at her, I notice how much she’s changed. Her hair is lighter, she looks to have a little tan, and crazy as it is her body looks more fit. California has been good to her. As I take her in, my pulse races.
I clear my throat and step into the bathroom. “Are you alright?” I ask.
“I’m sick all the time, so no I’m not alright. I feel like death and I’m an emotional mess,” she says as tears run down her face.
“You’re pregnant?” I know she said it, but I need her to tell me. To explain it all.
She puts down her water and wipes her eyes with the tissue I didn’t even see in her other hand. She peeks up at me, her hair falling into her eyes. “Yes Kace, I’m pregnant.”
“Who’s the father?” I ask, folding my arms as my heart squeezes in my chest.
The hurt in her face tells me all I need to know. Fuck. “You are. Why the fuck would I come here if it wasn’t yours?”
“Hey, don’t get pissed at me. You’ve been gone for months, I don’t
know who you’ve fucked since me,” I hiss.
She stands up, stepping close to me, leaning her head back to look up at me. “You’re the only person I’ve fucked.”
I search her angry brown eyes and slowly my gaze drops to her flat stomach. She’s pregnant with my kid. I can’t take my eyes away from her stomach as I speak. “How far along are you?”
“We were together almost three months ago, so that far along. I just found out, I have a doctor’s appointment next week,” she says.
“I’ll go with you,” I say, still fixated on her stomach.
“My doctor is in California,” she says.
I jerk my head up to look at her. Anger rushes through me as I search her eyes. “You aren’t going back to California,” I growl.
She laughs, shaking her head. “I came to tell you I’m pregnant. I’m leaving tomorrow. We’ll figure things out, we have months.”
Unable to deal with her, I do what I do best and leave. I don’t stop when Zane and Harper are calling after me. I don’t answer my phone while it buzzes in my pocket the entire way home. Once inside I roll a joint and look through the cabinet for a bottle of Jack Daniels. As I pour myself a glass, I light the joint, hoping it will relax me. After taking a long drag, I hold it in as long as possible before blowing out the smoke. I cough a bit, but quickly stop when I toss back some whiskey. I lean against the old counter, hanging my head.
I don’t get time to even think when a loud knock has me lifting my head. Zane walks in, leaning on the counter next to me. He lifts his eyebrow as he crosses his arms. “What the hell was that?”
I take another hit of the joint and pass it to him. “It was better than staying and fighting with her.”
He talks as he holds the smoke in. “What happened?”
I toss back more liquor and run my hand through my hair. “She said she’s going back to California tomorrow and we’ll figure shit out,” I say, glancing over at him.
“You guys need to sit down and talk it all through, alone. Invite her over, Harper will bring her. We’ll give you guys some time to talk. I mean shit, that was a fucking bomb I didn’t expect.” He grabs my shoulder, squeezing it. “How do you feel about it?”
Kace (Shattered Souls MC Book 3) Page 6
