Stargaze (Half Light #2)

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  He slowly turned to face her. “Some evils are so great they must be destroyed.”

  “Yeah… but destroying them is just another evil. That argument doesn’t work at all.”

  “Are you a student of this?” He rested his chin in his hand.

  “Of what?”

  “Of ethics? Of what constitutes right from wrong?”

  “I’m a student of history.” Angie raised her chin. “So in some ways, yes I am.”

  “I would be pleased to debate this with you in the future, but not now.”

  “What’s happening now?” He wasn’t going to avoid my questions. “Now that you’re here we can stop stalling.”

  “Are you hurt?” Kelby reached out. “I should have asked that right away. You mentioned the Fleshard attack.”

  I flinched.

  “I cannot touch you? You think I’m going to hurt you?”

  “You want the medallion. Not me. Aren’t you the one who suggested how the two could be separated?”

  “I never suggested it!” Kelby shouted. “Are you mad? I would never hurt a hair on your head.”

  “Yet you thought the Emperor would.”

  “The Emperor will do anything to maintain power. Don’t pretend you don’t know that.”

  “You never answered my question.”

  “Which one?”

  “Any of them. I’m done waiting.”

  “How about I start with the one about Caspian?” A strange look crossed Kelby’s face.

  “About what, you saw him? After he knocked you out. It would have been entertaining to see that.”

  Noah laughed.

  “Do you have a problem?” Kelby turned to him.

  “No.” Noah straightened.

  Kelby turned back to me. “Before I answer your question, you need to promise to stay calm.”

  “What are you getting at?” Dread filled me. This was not going to end well. “What aren’t you saying?”

  “Promise you will stay calm.” Then he glanced at Noah. “All of you.”

  “I can’t promise that. My emotions are mine to feel.”

  “But you won’t fly off the handle? You won’t try to injure me?”

  “Are you afraid of her?” Dale asked. “Seriously?”

  “I’m afraid of having to contain her. I do not want to destroy our bond.”

  “We don’t have a bond to destroy.” I hoped he heard the coldness in my voice because it was what I felt.

  “If you are this angry with me, I am fearful of how you’ll behave when you see Caspian.”

  “When I see him? Is that going to be soon?”

  “I have him restrained in the holding area.” Kelby didn’t blink.

  “What?” I nearly fell over, but Noah steadied me. “What do you mean by restrained?”

  “I took Caspian as my prisoner. It was the only way.” Kelby looked deep into my eyes. “Should I get him?”

  “I don’t want to see him.” The fear returned, welling up inside me.

  “But you need to.” Telton stomped out of the room, and I knew he wouldn’t be alone when he came back.

  8 Rachel

  I couldn’t move. I just stared as Telton returned with Caspian. All eyes seemed to be on me as he walked into the room. Caspian’s hands were shackled, but I knew the small pieces of metal couldn’t restrain him. When he wanted something he always found a way to get it.

  Somehow I held it together. I didn’t scream. I didn’t rail. I didn’t cry. I stood there staring while Noah waited right beside me. I’d released his hand before Telton returned. There was no reason to set Caspian off the second he walked in. But I wasn’t going to spare Caspian’s ego for long.

  Emotions rolled over me, some understandable and some confusing. It was both harder and easier now than before I left Andrelexa. I was no longer strictly on his turf, but I’d also seen for sure the evidence of how much he’d hidden from me. Even a few hours breathing fresh air and listening to birds made me realize exactly what kind of life I was robbed of. I knew not everything was perfect on Earth but wasn’t that for me to figure out? Didn’t I deserve to stumble through the true life I was given?

  “Rachel.” He fell to his knees in front of me. At least when he did it, it made sense in theory. Although I wasn’t sure we had any real connection at all.

  “Caspian.” I forced myself to speak his name.

  “Rachel. I… I am so glad you are all right.” Tears seemed to be welling in his eyes. Tears?

  I’d never seen him cry before.

  “I thought…I was so worried.”

  I refused to let his tears affect me. For all I knew they were fake. Like everything else. “I doubt it.”

  “You doubt my concern for you?” He seemed to be searching my face. “How can that be? After everything we’ve shared?” There was a desperation in his voice that both hurt and annoyed me. Was it fake like everything else? I hated having to doubt the word of my oldest friend. Combined with no longer truly trusting Telton, it was almost too much. But it couldn’t be. I could handle this because I had to. I wasn’t going to fall over and let things happen. The time for that was long over.

  “I believe nothing you say anymore.” I tried to push away the hurt and focus only on the anger, but the betrayal ran too deep. Like it or not, I’d cared for Caspian.

  “I had no idea about the modifiers.”

  Yet he knew now. “But you knew the truth about Earth. You kept it from me.”

  “It was far too late… I couldn’t just take you back.”

  “It wasn’t too late. I’m here. And I’m going to find my brother.”

  He turned to Telton. “Doesn’t she understand?”

  Telton shook his head. “No.”

  “Understand what?” I looked between the two.

  “Why you couldn’t go back.” Caspian rose to his feet.

  “I did go back so your argument is moot.” The time for fabrications was over. I knew the truth now.

  “See? I am not the only one keeping her in the dark.” Caspian glanced over his shoulder.

  My whole body went cold. Was there really more? Something worse? “In the dark? What don’t I know?”

  “We need to get moving.” Kelby gritted his teeth. “I, for one, don’t want to let everything fall apart now. We’ve come so far.”

  “Rachel.” Telton’s eyes locked on mine. “We already discussed this.”

  “Was everything a lie?” I shivered. So far I’d held it together, but it was getting harder and harder. “Everything?”

  Noah inched closer to me. I savored the warmth emanating from his body.

  “Not for me.” Caspian’s voice shook. “No. Everything else was real. Everything I’ve said or done. I love you.”

  “How can you love me yet keep so much from me? You knew I was a prisoner.” I felt tears well in my eyes, but I had to hold them off.

  “By the time I knew it was too late to turn things back. I knew I could give you a better life than any possibilities you had on Earth.”

  “In your opinion.” I tried to reign my anger in. If we’d been alone, my word choice might have been different. “You had no idea what kind of life I might have had on Earth.”

  “You’ve told her nothing.” Caspian turned to Telton, his eyes blazing. “All you did was turn her against me instead of telling her the truth.”

  Telton raised his shoulders in a half shrug. “There is too much at stake now to take the chance.”

  “I am not weak.” I put my hands on my chest. “You don’t have to worry about me falling apart. I may handle the news better than you think.”

  “Not this kind of news.” Caspian rocked back on his heels. “As much as I don’t want to, I do agree with Telton.”

  “You expect me to believe it’s worse than being taken from Earth? Being lied to? Being raised for one purpose alone?” And the list went on.

  “Yes,” Caspian, Kelby, and Telton said in unison. The harmony of the one word was eerie.

/>   “Okay. I’m assuming this is going to be really bad.” Dale pulled his chair closer to us.

  Normally I’d have been embarrassed that I was the center of such a spectacle, but I wasn’t. This was my life whether I liked it or not.

  “Rachel, please tell me you’ll forgive me.” Caspian fell to his knees again. “If not today, then in the future.”

  “I’m not going to make promises I may be unable to keep.” It hurt when they were broken. There was too much hurt in the universe already; there was no need to add more.

  “But you can try.” His eyes pleaded with me “Can’t you? You can try to listen to your heart.”

  “Caspian we talked about this.” Kelby wagged a finger.

  “Talked about what?” I turned to another of the many Lexa men I was angry at.

  “That he wasn’t going to be welcomed back with open arms.”

  “You think?” I huffed.

  “I am only asking that you try to find a way in your heart to forgive me.” Caspian made it sound so simple. As though I were angry he’d forgotten my birthday, or something mundane like that. Not that he lied about the most central aspects of my life.

  “Either way, she’s already moved on.” Dale leaned back so far in his chair it started to tip over. Telton steadied it with a few fingers without even looking over.

  “What?” Caspian slowly looked around the room. “You can’t be serious.”

  “There is nothing for you to worry about. You need to stay calm.” Kelby raised his hand up and down.

  “Stay calm?” Caspian choked out.

  I was at a loss. I didn’t want to set him off, and it’s not as if Noah and I had officially declared ourselves for life or anything. But there was definitely something between us. Something strong that I knew wasn’t going anywhere. “We can talk about this later. Right now we have to stay focused. I will not stand by and let anything happen to my home.”

  “Your home?” Caspian inclined his head to the side. “Andrelexa?”

  “No. Earth.” I would never belong on Andrelexa. It wasn’t natural. I couldn’t breathe the air. I couldn’t live the way I could on Earth.

  Kelby groaned. “Enough of this. We are getting nowhere. I need to start recruiting before the Emperor figures it out and ruins our shot.”

  “I’m sure he’s figured it out.” Caspian’s eyes were still fixed on me. “He knows all.”

  “There was a tracker implanted.” Kelby pointed to Caspian. “In the back of his head.”

  “What?” Now that came as a surprise. “Your father did that to you?” I had no doubt the Emperor would stoop to great lows, but I assumed Caspian was exempt from it.

  Caspian nodded. “You weren’t the only one taken by surprise, Rachel.”

  “But why are you here?” Wasn’t that the real question? Tracker or not, Caspian would do whatever his father asked of him.

  “You know why I’m here. I’d travel anywhere to find you.”

  Noah shifted uncomfortably beside me.

  “I mean, why are you here?” I pointed to the floor, referring to the ship. “Shouldn’t you be loyal to your father?”

  “Did you miss the part where his dad put a tracker in the back of his head?” Dale’s brows furrowed together. “I don’t think I’d be cozying up to my father if he did that to me.”

  “But is that enough for you to make such a drastic decision?” This was Caspian, not some average citizen. He was so close to taking over Andrelexa. If he bid his time he’d be in charge and could do whatever he wanted. “You may be giving up your place as ruler of Andrelexa.”

  Caspian didn’t blink. “If what Kelby has been telling me is true, I don’t want to rule it.”

  “If the truth involves destroying planets for his own gain, then it’s true.” Telton shifted his weight around. “I have my proof, and I can show you once I know we can trust you.”

  Caspian still looked at me. “You can trust me.”

  Telton shook his head. “It’s not that easy.”

  Caspian finally tore his eyes from me. “Kelby pulled a tracker from the back of my head. Like the kid said, that is a big thing to gloss over.”

  “Being angry with your father does not mean you are committed to the cause.” Telton crossed his arms.

  “Then how am I supposed to prove it?” There was true exasperation in Caspian’s voice.

  “You wait until the given time.”

  “Wait? With these on?” Caspian held out his handcuffed hands.

  “We will lock you into the holding bunk. We will bring you your meals there.” Telton pointed down the hall.

  Caspian stiffened. “You mean to keep me away from Rachel?”

  Telton looked at his watch and then back up. “Yes. We barely brought her to safety in time. She has been through so much already.”

  “And I can comfort her. Who better to do it?” Caspian was delusional if he thought I wanted his comfort.

  “Dude, I just told you. She moved on.” Dale rolled his eyes.

  “Dale, please.” I really didn’t need him setting Caspian off.

  Angie laughed. “See? I’m not the only one who gets annoyed with you.”

  “Is this true, Rachel?” Caspian’s eyes locked on mine. “Have you separated your heart from mine so easily?”

  Dale guffawed.

  I glared at him.

  “Wait, what?” Dale asked. “Is he serious? Separated your heart from mine? Is anyone going to buy that crap?”

  Caspian started over toward Dale.

  “He’s not worthy of your time nor energy, Cousin.” Kelby stepped between them. “Besides, it will only tarnish you in Rachel’s eyes.”

  “Who is it?” Caspian turned back to me. “It can’t be the one standing beside you.”

  “Why not?” Noah straightened up. “Why can’t it be me?”

  “Because there is no chance she could choose you over me.”

  “Except I would.” It was so much easier to be honest and open now. I couldn’t keep my true feelings in. “I didn’t view it as choosing. But given the choice, it would be an easy one to make.”

  Caspian’s face crumbled then turned angry. His eyes moved to Noah.

  “Calm down.” Kelby and Telton both took steps toward Caspian. “Maybe you should table this discussion for later. We’re running out of time.”

  “Yes.” I hoped they won this argument. There was too much going on to waste energy on something like this. “Let’s.” I turned to Kelby. “Are you going alone to recruit?”

  “Well, Caspian can’t go anywhere, you need to stay safe and out of sight, Telton needs to control this ship. That leaves your new friends, and somehow I don’t think they’d be up for this expedition, nor could they help me.”

  “I’ll come.” Angie jumped to her feet.

  “What?” Noah gasped. “You can’t be serious.”

  “You signed us up for this mission, I might as well make myself useful.”

  “And you’d be useful how?” Dale raised an eyebrow.

  “You underestimate me.”

  Kelby looked over Angie, as if assessing her. “Are you good at following directions?”

  “Excuse me?” Angie bristled.

  “If you came with me, I’d have to know you’d listen.”

  “Listen how?” She was being careful what she agreed to. That was a good thing.

  “Okay. Let’s back this up.” Noah held up his hands. “Why do you want to go with him?”

  “Because I’m good at dealing with people. I’m also really good at reading people. You know that, Noah.” Something silent passed between them.

  “But it might be dangerous.” Noah shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “And this isn’t dangerous?” Angie laughed dryly. “Are you serious?”

  “It is… but at least we’re together.” He shrugged.

  “We’re doing this to save Earth. Let’s save Earth.” She made her decision sound simple. Far simpler than the situation reall
y was.

  “Are you sure you’re not going just to spend time with spaceman over there?” Dale nodded toward Kelby.

  Angie smacked his arm. “Shut up.”

  Kelby smiled. “That wouldn’t be a bad reason, but if you are gifted, I most definitely want you to accompany me.”

  “Gifted?” Dale narrowed her eyes. “Right.”

  “She does usually get a sense about people.” A sadness crossed Noah’s eyes, and I realized it must all tie back to his brother. It seemed most everything painful for him did. I wouldn’t press him for information now, but I wanted to know.

  “Okay, Angie. If we’re going, we’re going.” Kelby must have made up his mind.

  I may not have known Angie well, but I was the reason she was on the ship to begin with. “If anything happens to Angie, you will pay.”

  “I will protect her with my life. She is coming with me, which brings her fully under my protection.” Kelby’s face was serious as stone. “I swear it on all that is life or eternal.”

  That was as serious as an oath could get for Lexas, and it put me at ease. “You better.” Kelby had many faults, but he was as strong as they came. And he was only as good as the oaths he honored.

  “Do you really want to do this?” Noah walked over to his sister. “You can change your mind.”

  “I’ll be okay.” She pulled him into a hug. “And you better be safe too.”

  “He’ll be safe. I’ll protect him with my life.” I would.

  Noah smiled. I smiled back. He was the only normal part of any of this.

  Part 4

  Angie

  9 Angie

  I must have lost my mind. Not only had I followed Noah onto a spaceship, I was now following a rogue alien space warrior to recruit for an intergalactic army. I wasn’t sure if it was possible to stray further from my normal life. The weird part was I didn’t regret any of the decisions that led me there. I couldn’t sit back and do nothing. I’d made that mistake before, and it wasn’t happening again. I also wasn’t panicking. I had no idea how I was calm, but I decided to embrace my calm. It was a nice change of pace.