Reign on Me

by Zoe Devereaux

  Goodbye,

  Hayven

  A hollow feeling filled his chest as he read the last words. Surprisingly, his grip was steady as he slipped the letter back into the envelope. But, inside of him, the emotional war raged.

  “I’m a fucking idiot,” he said bitterly. Yet, he couldn’t see past the pain and hurt. “Why did I ever believe that something could come of this? Better yet, why did I think that you’d want me?”

  Five minutes later, letter in hand, he stepped outside of the hotel and into the afternoon sunlight.

  He stared up at the blue-laden sky, and the brightness of the sun nearly blinded him.

  And he’d been blind, he mulled darkly, crossing the parking lot. Blind to the fact that he would never really and truly have anything of worth. Now, though, he was clearly in the light.

  Never again, would he believe that he could make a real connection with another human being. In order to forget his failing judgment, he had to make a severe, drastic change in his life. So, that meant walking away from the very world that he’d always known. He’d carve a new beginning in a different world, a world that he’d denied his entire life. There, hopefully, he’d find some footing and relief. He’d channel his virile and chaotic energy somewhere else. Instead of sex, he’d kill the world with wealth and power.

  A pained look crossed his face.

  And he’d do whatever it took to forget about her and the foolish idyllic fantasy he’d been living in. Forget the one woman who made him believe.

  Once he was inside the Viper, he whipped the cell phone out before dialing the contact. On the fifth ring, his estranged uncle answered.

  “Christopher, hello,” Parker said, and surprise filled his tone. “It’s good to hear from you again and so soon.”

  Staring unseeingly at the world around him, he muttered tightly. “I’m ready.”

  “I don’t understand.” A cautious note played in his uncle’s tone. “Ready for what, Christopher?”

  “To come into the Clayton fold…to be Josephine’s son in every way…to be my grandfather’s bastard heir…”

  “I’m happy to hear this. It’s a moment that all of us have been waiting for a long time. Come to my office,” Parker ordered quickly, not bothering to hide his budding excitement. Or maybe it was with the fear that he’d change his mind. “We have a lot to talk about. Welcome to the family, Chris.”

  The phone went dead on the other end.

  As the sunlight beat into the Viper, he slid the sunglasses on. Turning the switch, he fired the engine. Amidst the rising anger, struggling against the naked hurt that he didn’t want to feel, he vowed coldly. “Fucking game on.”

  ***

  “I don’t feel good about this,” the desk attendant murmured nervously, shooting a fast gaze around the hotel. Then, she accepted the newspaper where the crisp hundred dollar bills were concealed. “What was in the envelope? It must’ve been pretty awful. The guy looked absolutely crushed.”

  Red Widow passed an icy smile. “What’s done is done. With what I’ve paid you, it’ll be enough to soothe your guilty conscience.” She leaned closer to the counter as if there were a hidden secret to reveal. “Come here, doll. Lean closer so that you can hear.”

  The buxom blonde flushed a deep red. “Alright.”

  As the woman leaned in closer, Red Widow whispered a stern warning. “If you so much as whisper this to anyone, you’ll regret it in more ways than one.” Her blue eyes steeled over. “Besides that, there are ways for me to learn personal things about you. If the time ever comes where someone demands answers, you know absolutely nothing. Or there will be hell to pay. Got that, baby doll?”

  The woman gulped hard. “Y---yes.”

  Then, like the slithering vile creature that she was, Red Widow walked away.

  Chapter 21

  Six Months Later

  “Smile.” The camera phone made three quick flashes while snapping the photo. “One more.”

  “Come on, Dad. Don’t you think you’re going overboard with this?” she groaned good-naturedly and stepped closer to Richard. “You’ve probably taken at least a million pictures already.”

  “And a million more certainly won’t hurt. Come on. Humor me. Before long, I’ll be handing you over to Richard for good. So allow me the opportunity to capture some precious mementos to hang onto, alright? Yes, I know that a wedding date hasn’t been set yet. But, what does that really matter?” Pastor Jonas asked with a wide grin. Then, he instructed them to adjust their position somewhat. Giving a wink, he finally aimed the camera at them again. “Now, that’s good. Hold it. Don’t move.” He took a final snapshot. “I’m all done. You kids can go now. But, don’t forget---we’re on for dinner next week.”

  “We’ll be there,” she murmured with a fast smile. “And I promise to be ready on time, and we won’t be late.”

  Her father hugged her quickly. “We both know that punctuality isn’t your strong suit.” Stepping back, Pastor Jonas pointed at his watch. “Be there at seven, dear daughter, and not a minute later.”

  She gave him a mock salute. “Seven o’clock sharp.”

  Pastor Jonas nudged Richard. “I’ll tell you one thing about my daughter. She does have good intentions. But, sometimes, she tends to steer off the path. I’m counting on you to keep her straight.”

  “Will do, Reverend,” Richard agreed readily, giving a lopsided grin. “Tell me something that I don’t already know. Trust me. I’ll have her reformed in no time. And I can say that I’m looking forward to the task.”

  She watched their exchange with a lifted brow. No doubt, they were tag-teaming her, and it was something that they did best.

  As her father trailed across the church and moved towards the other church-goers, Richard gave her an affectionate squeeze. “I gather that we should get used to taking pictures and creating memories,” Richard murmured, planting both hands on her shoulders. “But, I can say that I’m looking forward to such things.”

  Hesitating for a moment, she murmured, “Me too.”

  She looked away from him with discomfort.

  Wasn’t her hesitation to really commit to him fully a huge problem? While she said things with her mouth, was she really feeling it?

  Before she could ponder the thought any further, he spoke again. “I’m going to offer my condolences to Sister Patricia.” He kissed her on the cheek and stared past her. “Then, we’ll go, alright?”

  “Go ahead. While you’re paying your respects, I’ll straighten the pew area.”

  As he trailed in the widow’s direction, she journeyed to the first row of church benches. After lifting a decorative fan and positioning it behind the bible in the book holder, she paused before looking around the church.

  Life was rather unpredictable.

  Six months ago, if someone had said that she’d be a bride-to-be, she’d never believed them. But, here she was, nearly betrothed to Saint Joe’s Missionary Baptist Church most sought-after bachelor.

  Even now, a small horde of single women stood close by and kept passing subtle glances in his direction. But, she didn’t have the slightest stirrings of jealousy or possessiveness, she mulled, wandering further along the pew. No doubt, that was a good thing, she supposed.

  Six months ago, she’d been reeling from heartbreak, at least her version of it, she thought as her smile dimmed. Because of it, she’d needed something or someone to lessen its sting.

  After returning back home with her father, it’d been all too easy to fall back into her routine life. As her parents had skillfully and relentlessly designed matchmaking opportunities between her and Richard, she’d reluctantly complied. Then, it wasn’t long before he’d become a part of the deal. They’d been more than thrilled when their relationship turned into a courtship.

  She stared at him across the church.

  Richard was certainly attractive enough. 6’2”, lean posture, and hazel brown eyes. He always dressed sharply in a business suit and tie, and he turned more
than a few heads.

  Except for hers, she realized, feeling a twinge of guilt. Often times, there were days where she wondered if she were really happy.

  “Of course I am,” she muttered to herself, picking the bible off the bench. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  In one word or two…

  Reign…

  Christopher…

  Even now, six months later, she was plagued with endless thoughts of him…them…In a million life times, she’d never forget those rare moments when they’d connected on both an emotional and physical level, she thought with a dazed look, slowing as she meandered to the next pew. He’d introduced her to a world shrouded in true passion, tumultuous emotions, and deep feelings. Within that sphere, he’d offered her the opportunity to selfishly embrace everything and all that she truly wanted.

  But, with all things considered, how could she forget his betrayal? Too eagerly, she’d bought into the lie that he really wanted to be with her. Yet, he’d gone to another woman. The all-too revealing photos of him and the auburn-haired woman had been the proof of his true feelings. All along, he’d just been toying with her, playing her for a fool.

  She blinked at the hot tears.

  Yet, while that was true, her heart couldn’t let go. Still, it clung to the memories of what they’d briefly shared. It was twisted and hauntingly beautiful at the same time.

  But, she refused to let the troubling thoughts could root further. She began cleaning the pew area more hastily, and she couldn’t shake off her shame. Contemplating such scandalous thoughts in the holy church was wrong anyway.

  She was standing in the middle aisle when Richard joined her again. He passed her a troubling look and grasped her hands. “Unfortunately, there’s been a change in plans. Something’s come up suddenly, and from the sounds of things, it’s pretty heavy.”

  A concerned frown pinched her face. “What’s wrong?”

  “I just got off the phone with my father. He has requested an emergency family meeting. That means the whole tribe will be there. From his cryptic words and evasive responses, I gather that whatever he has to tell us is pretty serious.” He blew a frustrated breath. “He wants us to meet him at the house at 8:00 tonight.”

  “Okay, I’ll get Dad to take me home,” she nodded. “We can take a rain check on dinner---”

  “No. I want you to be there. Something tells me that I’m going to need all of the emotional support that I can get. But, I certainly understand if you don’t want to get caught up in my family drama.”

  “Nonsense---I don’t mind. I’ll go with you.”

  Richard glanced at his watch. “It’s 5:30 now. There are a few things that I have to take care of first. You grab a ride home with your father now, and I’ll catch up with you later. Let’s say that I pick you up around 7:00. That okay?”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  “And before I go,” Richard murmured and stepped closer to her. Then, he looked around the church, only to find that they were now alone. “How about a little parting gift?”

  She met him halfway for the kiss.

  It was pleasant.

  But, not earth-shattering, she thought in disappointment, closing her eyes. As they broke apart, she forced a smile. “I’ll see you at 7:00.”

  He hugged her quick. “Alright---I have to run.

  “Bye.”

  She watched as he sauntered down the aisle. The heavy church doors swung open wide as he passed through. A moment later, finally alone with her own thoughts, she sank down onto the pew.

  What was wrong with her?

  Here she was with the church’s hottest bachelor. Yet, when he kissed her, she felt close to nothing. But, it wasn’t end of the world, she sighed heavily. They had plenty of time to connect on that level. With all hope, her physical attraction and reaction to him would improve with more time.

  Her brows pinched in thought.

  However, so far, she didn’t have any real interest in carrying their relationship past a kiss. Making love to him had always been far from her mind, if at all. So, was it feasible to marry a man when the physical attraction wasn’t really strong?

  Yet, not all relationships were centered on sex, she argued silently. Plus, most were not based on the irrational and idyllic fantasies like those in romance novels. No, relationships were supposed to be safe, steady, and comfortable. Not all physical connections had to be so consuming, she supposed. Perhaps it was because she was thinking too much. Yet, deep down, something said that wasn’t the case at all.

  She closed her eyes before leaning back against the bench. However, the quiet calm failed to soothe her. That was hardly surprising considering that she’d been embroiled in an emotional battle with herself for the past six months.

  She stared at the stained glass ceiling and visually tracked the multi-colors that were carefully embedded. Instantly, it reminded her of her intricate emotions.

  She should be fine.

  But, she wasn’t fine.

  She should be happy.

  But, she wasn’t all the way happy.

  On more than one occasion, she pondered if she was just living a perfectly ordered script and not attending to her real needs and wants. Even more, all of this, being with Richard, the engagement, etc…Was it what she truly wanted?

  She cared about Richard.

  But, was it the kind of ‘care’ that made for a loving and lasting relationship? Better yet, was she in love with him?

  “What’s wrong with me?” she whispered against the distraught feelings. “There has to be a reason why I’m like this. Maybe I’m just getting overwhelmed with the entire process, and I’m getting nervous about it. Pre-wedding jitters are perfectly normal no matter when they appear.”

  No, that wasn’t the case, her inner voice warned. Certainly, lying in God’s house wasn’t a good thing!

  If anything, the church was a refuge.

  It was the place for truth and honesty.

  As the silence echoed within the church’s four walls, she pondered if she could truly be honest with herself.

  ***

  Life was rather unpredictable.

  For it were, he wouldn’t be traveling along I-20 and barreling towards a new world of uncertainty, he determined, keeping his eyes trained on the roadway as the miles ticked off.

  Still, he marveled at the major changes in his life, the kinds of changes that’d impact him forever. In the span of six months, his entire perspective on life had changed tremendously. He’d made a shaky reconnection with his biological mother, and each passing day, their relationship grew stronger.

  Not only that.

  He’d become privy to a long-buried secret.

  Parker had revealed a stunning truth.

  His father was alive.

  Oliver Johansson didn’t even know of his existence until now. It was just another slew of lies and untruths that’d kept them apart.

  First cruel lie?

  His grandfather had convinced Josephine that her true love was dead.

  That very fact had thrown her into an emotional tailspin, and she’d been stricken with grief. As scandal had broken out, Josephine and her husband separated. But, the southern scandal heightened further, leading to something even worse for Thomas Clayton: his daughter was pregnant by her lover. Not intent upon any further scandal, he’d escorted his daughter out of town.

  Nine months later, Josephine had given birth. Instead of taking her to a hospital, Thomas Clayton had brought in Dr. Roberts, a close friend who’d been barred from practicing medicine. Dr. Roberts had delivered him in a seedy motel room.

  Later, a confused, post-partum depressed, and grief-stricken Josephine had awakened. Once more, Thomas Clayton used those very weaknesses and convinced Josephine that giving the child away was the best thing for everyone. He’d constantly reminded her of her mental state. Then, he’d pretended that he’d leave the child with distant relatives until she could cope. Fearing her mental stability and its effect on the baby, she�
��d tearfully and reluctantly agreed to release her son, not realizing her father’s treachery.

  With the aid Dr. Roberts, he’d ditched him at a local gas station. It was the very place that they’d paid a drug-addicted, strapped-for-cash hooker a.k.a. Crystal to take him off of their hands.

  Life had gone on.

  Josephine reunited with her husband.

  Yet, she couldn’t let go of the broken past.

  After years of professional counseling, Josephine had searched for her son, eager to bring him home and right the wrongs of yesterday.

  With the aid of top-notch investigators, she’d located him. Yet, by then, he was a troubled, rebellious teenager who’d been driven by anger and little else. At the age of 17, testosterone-driven and reckless, he’d rebuffed his mother’s every effort to connect. It’d been all too easy to do with Crystal piling on lies and misconstrued truths with any and every opportunity that she could get.

  Fortunately, he’d come a long way since then, he mulled again, quickly scanning the GPS before turning onto Memory Lane and traveling along the newly paved road.

  The Viper rolled to a smooth stop before the two-story family home complete with shrubberies, a white picket fence, and floral garden. Staying silent, he killed the engine before peering out the car window.

  Of all of the things that’d changed, though, he was still grappling with a profound loss. The lost opportunity to forge a strong connection with another human being, namely Hayven…

  As the recurring bitterness set forth, he lowered the sunglasses over his eyes. Even now, after all this time, the very thought of her knocked him off-kilter.

  There was no point in even thinking about her, he reminded himself, leaving the car. Staring unseeingly across the freshly manicured lawn, he adjusted the lapels of the suit coat.

  She wasn’t a part of his life. Not now. Not ever. Better yet, she didn’t want to be.