Because I Love You

by A'zayler

  I thought about moving it but didn’t. If it was hurting him, I was sure he would have left it where it was. On top of that, I was over the moon happy just to be close to him.

  “You know I’m mad at you, right?”

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “I didn’t want to come up here. They always try to make me stay too long.”

  “I know, B, but they’re only here to help. I couldn’t watch you at home like that.” I rubbed my hand across his hard abs.

  He sighed and nodded. “That’s why I ain’t want to call you.” He chuckled lowly and paused.

  I sat up quickly and looked in his face. He was frowning and taking deep breaths. “Please let me go get you something for this pain.”

  He shook his head and pulled me back toward him. It took me longer to lie down that time because I honestly didn’t want to. I would have rather been out at the nurse’s station checking on his pain meds. I huffed in aggravation as I tried to make myself comfortable in bed with him again. He was quiet for a minute before his hand began to rub up and down my thigh.

  “I hate letting you see me down this bad.” He cleared his throat and tried to speak a little louder. “When I first met you, I started not to even tell you about it. I ain’t want you to look at me differently.”

  I adamantly shook my head. “Never. It just makes me want to love on you harder. You definitely look like you need it.” I pecked the side of his face. “I’m glad you didn’t push me away.”

  His smile was accompanied by blatant discomfort, but it was there. “Me too. I couldn’t imagine life without you.” He showed me the same uncomfortable smile as he rubbed my thigh. “Your thickness drives me crazy.”

  I looked down at his hand and rested mine on top of his. “Your presence drives me crazy.” I pecked his jaw first, then the side of his mouth, before I pulled away. “I want us to stay like we are… okay? Don’t ever make me leave you because of this. I don’t want to.”

  “You wouldn’t let me if I tried.” He looked over at me just as the nurse burst back into the room.

  She smiled at us before continuing around the bed. I watched how fast and efficiently she moved to administer the medicine and check all his stats before cleaning up after herself and leaving. Once the door to his room closed, it was quiet. I didn’t say anything, and neither did he. We both sat scrunched up in his little hospital bed with our mouths shut.

  “When I get out of the hospital this time, we have to try for our baby again.” His voice sounded a little woozy.

  “When did we ever stop trying?”

  He shrugged. “You’ve got a point.”

  I kissed his mouth and just stared at his handsome face. “Get you some rest. I’ll be here,” I whispered.

  His eyes were low, and his body was a lot more relaxed than it had been before. Although I was enjoying his company and wanted him to stay awake and talk to me, I wanted him to feel better more.

  “You ain’t gon’ leave while I’m sleep, are you?” He stopped rubbing my thigh and just squeezed it once.

  “You know better than that. Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  He nodded. “Stay right here.”

  “In your bed?”

  He nodded.

  “Okay.” I kissed his mouth and scooted down in the bed a little more.

  Once I was comfortable, I wrapped both of my arms around one of his and closed my eyes. My head was already resting on his shoulder, so I was pretty comfortable. It had been a long day, and I might not have been as tired as he was, but I was well overdue for some sleep. The sun had long ago set, and I couldn’t close my eyes fast enough.

  “Feel better, baby,” I whispered to him again before preparing for sleep.

  “I already do,” he spoke quietly. “Thanks to you.”

  I was all smiles as I lay there with sleep on the brain. Being in the cool, dark room snuggled up with my baby was the perfect ending to my extremely long day. Lying there with him brought all kinds of scary thoughts about losing him to mind and nearly drove me crazy. I did my best to think of other things because if my mind stayed there, I’d be crying again.

  I took a deep breath and shook my head. Imagining living a life where I didn’t have him was too overwhelming, and I didn’t want to do it anymore, so I didn’t. Instead, I stayed in the moment, in his presence, in his bed, and in his heart. I would worry about everything else when the time came. If it ever did.

  Chapter 9

  -Egypt

  My mind was going in a thousand different directions as I sat in Master’s home office waiting for that nigga. He’d called earlier that morning requesting to see me, and I hadn’t the slightest idea why. I hoped like hell it wasn’t because of Dream. I’d seen her on a few different instances and hadn’t paid her for any of them. Not that conversation should have cost anything, but with a nigga like Master, you never really knew. He and I didn’t necessarily associate on a personal level, and judging by all of the people in his backyard, this definitely was a social call or would turn into one soon.

  I hadn’t been to this nigga’s house since the day I was with BB, so his sudden need for me today was somewhat suspicious. Especially, since that day with BB hadn’t been on the best of terms. Had BB not been there, I probably would have hit his ass. Master did stupid stuff that always ticked me off. Every day I saw more and more why Auto had hated him the way he did.

  I had been sitting in that nigga’s office for the past ten minutes, and he had five more before I dipped. I’d been sitting there watching him move around the large pool in his backyard smiling and shooting the shit with his people, which was cool, but he should have done all of that before he called me over. Master and every other nigga in Dade County knew I didn’t waste my time.

  The only thing keeping me in place right then, besides my money, was the fact that there were naked women everywhere. I guess since it was hot outside, they didn’t feel the need to even wear a bikini. Those hoes were out there dope room naked. Even without an ounce of coke in sight, they were skin to skin around his pool. It had to be at least fifteen of them, and I’d counted two pair of bikini bottoms and one top.

  “Young gunna, what’s good, li’l homie?” Master walked through the door with some fruity ass drink in his hand. It was in a big pineapple with an umbrella and some cherries on the straw. It looked pretty feminine to me, but then again, this was Master I was talking about.

  The open multi-colored shirt and light-colored shorts he was wearing would never be my style, but I couldn’t see his flashy ass in nothing different. I stood to my feet to dap him up while discreetly looking down to check his attire. This nigga even had on some thong flip flops. Cheeseball ass dude.

  “Ain’t shit. You living good, I see.” I nodded toward the open window that I’d been staring out of a few minutes ago.

  If somebody had told this fool to smile harder, he wouldn’t have been able to. “Well, you know Master loves the ladies.”

  “I see.”

  “I hope you got time to stay and kick it when we get done here.”

  Just like I’d figured, he asked me to stay. I noticed that was starting to become a trend in the hood these days. Niggas stayed on my tip about hanging out and chilling with them. At first, I’d thought it was because they knew my nigga Auto had gotten knocked and they wanted to play buddy-buddy, but now I was starting to think it was for the honeys. Women loved me. If it wasn’t either of those two, then it was because of BB and the way I moved with that nigga.

  “I may. Depending on how long this takes.” I urged him toward business.

  Master took a seat on the corner of his desk and removed his glasses. “Not long at all.” He paused, and I sat back, resting my arm over the back of my chair so that he could see my gun. No trick shit would be tolerated. “You were with Joshua the other day, right?”

  I nodded. I hoped this wasn’t going where I thought it was.

  “I heard from one of my ladies that shit went down
the wrong way. Is that right?” Master looked at me with a straight face.

  There it went. Just like I’d figured. Master didn’t play about these hoes. Like I’d done before, I nodded.

  “What exactly happened? My baby told me, but once she mentioned your name, I figured I’d double up with you.”

  “Why you need to confirm with me? If she said it, then believe her,” I told him straight. I didn’t do messy stuff. I left that to the women.

  He hung around them so much, they were obviously rubbing off on him. Here I was thinking about money, and he wanted to talk pussy. This fool needed a new hobby. But, then again, pussy was money for him, so I guess I understood where he was coming from.

  “You ain’t like the streets, Egypt. Never was, that’s why I fuck with you the long way.”

  I watched him lean back and pull a brown box out of the drawer of his desk. He slid it open and pulled out a cigar. He extended the box to me, but I shook my head. I was good on smoking. If it wasn’t green, I didn’t want it. I waited for him to light it and take a few puffs before engaging the conversation again. I didn’t have all day for this.

  “What’d she say happen?”

  “That he got a little too physical, choked her up a little bit, threw money at her, didn’t want to take her back to her spot.” He looked at me. “Dumb shit.”

  On that, I agreed. That had been stupid dumb. Joshua had known she was hoe when he picked her up; he should have known better than to buck on paying the damn girl. I had no idea what all had gone down. I mean, I could tell it was something by the way she’d stormed out of the house, but I ain’t know it was on no hitting shit.

  “She ain’t lie.”

  He stood from his desk. “Cool.” He smiled once he was behind it. “Stay for a little while. Enjoy some of my girls.”

  I looked out the window and stood to my feet. I didn’t want them hoes, and he knew it. “I might grab me one of these burgers, but you already know I’m cool on the pussy.”

  He laughed like I was auditioning for a comedy show. I didn’t join because I wasn’t being funny. I was serious as a heart attack.

  “Egypppt,” he dragged my name out.

  I looked at the nigga like he was crazy. Yeah, he’d been around them hoes too long. What the hell was he dragging my name out for? That was female shit.

  “I’m out. Next time, hit my line for something like this.” I pulled my bandanna up around my chin some more before walking out of his office.

  Since the patio door was directly outside of his office, I decided to hit the backyard and grab some food before dipping. A lot of my niggas were out there anyway. With it being a bunch of women, you had to know it was double in men. Red flags everywhere. I loved it.

  I took one step at a time and shook my head in distaste. I’d never understood how a pimp could turn into a kingpin. Master literally ran dope and pussy out the same house. Niggas were scared of his hoe ass too. Now, that, I sure as hell was confused on.

  I’d kill Master with my bare hands. He was an average sized dude who could probably defend himself, but he sure as hell would die beneath me. He was too soft. Any man who could be around women twenty-four-seven the way he did was pussy. Every man needed at least a few hours to himself. This nigga here stayed around women, though. I just didn’t get it. Got his nails manicured and shit. Hoe stuff that me and Auto had been weirded out on since the first time we’d met him. The only reason I even associated with him was that he was the only connect I had to my dope right now.

  The only other nigga who ran shit in the city was Pat, and he was Crip, so there was no way I was fucking with him. His name was heavy, but I didn’t deal in blue, so I was stuck with Master… for now. I didn’t plan to stay long; I was always looking for a come up. The moment I found one, I would be out.

  “Look at this li’l killa here.” Bo got my attention first.

  Him, Myeisha, and a nigga named Quez were all standing together when I walked out of the house. I smiled and gave each of them a pound before looking around a little bit. The women were bad as hell, I had to admit that, but I still wasn’t on it. They had face and body; I could honestly see how Master stayed in business.

  “How you dripping at a pool party, though?” Myeisha referenced the red bandana that I kept tied around my neck.

  I smirked because I’d heard the humor behind her words.

  “Nigga got the strap and all.” Bo pulled at the shoulder strap of my gun holster.

  I laughed and pulled at the hair on my chin. “Man, y’all know me.”

  They all made a bunch of jokes, standing around me and cackling like hens while I shrugged.

  “For real, though, I didn’t plan on staying out here. I had to holla at Master about something then I was gon’ dip, but I’m hungry as hell, so I’ma eat first.”

  I was looking toward the grill when somebody grabbed my arm. When I turned to see who it was, it was some slim redbone with a short cut. It was dyed purple and tough as fuck on her. I liked that cut, but I ain’t know her, so I didn’t say shit.

  “Hey, Egypt.”

  “What up,” I spoke dry as hell.

  She didn’t shy away though; she smiled harder. Even stepped closer to me and tried to loop her arm with mine. As soon as the back of her hand hit the handle to that Mac 10, she pulled it right on back. I chuckled to myself when she noticed what had just touched her. When her eyes met mine, I silently questioned her street sense.

  “I think I like you even more,” she purred. “You think you got a few minutes for me?”

  “To do what?”

  “Hang out. We can do anything, swim, talk, eat.” She pulled at my arm. “I just want to ensure you have a good time.”

  I pulled out of her grasp and shook my head. “Nah, I’m straight. That’s a tough haircut, though.” I didn’t even wait for her to respond before I turned away from her.

  I felt her hands on my stomach just as I was about to address the stupid looks on Bo and Myeisha’s face. I spun around and looked at her again.

  “I’ma take the fact that you keep putting your hands on me as a sign that you don’t know nothing but my name. Now stop doing dumb shit.” I looked from her face down to her hand that was still on me. “Go ’head on.”

  Her attitude was visible, but as long as she carried it over to the other side of the pool, then she could be as mad as she wanted to be. When she walked toward the stairs that I’d just descended, I figured she was headed for Master’s office. I cut my eyes to the large window of his office, and sure enough, he was standing there smiling hard as hell. He even raised his fruity ass pineapple cup to me. I nodded and turned back around.

  “Egypt, you so cutthroat.” Myeisha was smiling at me.

  “Stone cold on the street,” Bo chimed in.

  Quez held his hand out for a dap, and I hit him with one. “I don’t blame him. All these pretty women out here, and they would fuck for a buck. I wouldn’t tap either.”

  “I’m glad somebody feels me.” I laughed with Quez.

  Myeisha and Bo joined in on our laughter. I had just stepped back to get out of the way of the wet girl who had just climbed out of the pool when I heard that voice.

  “Get it, boo. It’s enough of them out here. I’m chilling today, though.”

  I wanted to turn around to see if it was her, but I knew that voice. It was definitely her.

  “Man, Dream, you better get you one of these young thugs to spend that check. It’s open season. Master said we could have fun with whoever, and I plan to do just that.”

  I was right. It was her, but the way her friend talked was such a distraction that I couldn’t even focus enough to move. Just standing there listening to a woman talk so trashy like that made my skin crawl.

  “You should. It’s a lot of cute ones out here.”

  “Okay! And paid. This pussy about to fly tonight.”

  I was so disgusted that I had to put a face to that talk. I looked over my shoulder just enough to see without
turning my whole body. The girl was cute but not all that. She could definitely use some quality time with a hairdresser, but other than that, she was aight. I looked from her to Azayna before turning back around. The last thing I needed was for that girl to send her pussy flying my way.

  Plus, I’d seen what I really wanted to see anyway. I had been somewhat curious about Azayna’s attire. Wondering was she just as naked as the rest of them, but I guess chilling for her meant fully dressed because she was in a blue jean romper and some sandals. I could see her swimsuit strings tied around her neck, but she was clothed, and she had better be glad she was. She thought I hated her before, but I sure as hell would have hated her had she been naked.

  “There goes my girl. What’s up, beautiful?” Myeisha said.

  She was looking behind my head, but as soon as Azayna sashayed her ass around me, Myeisha’s conversation was directed. I should have known that’s who she was talking to. Myeisha was sweet on her for some reason and didn’t mind showing it.

  Azayna walked to her and hugged her before going to Bo and doing the same thing. She didn’t even look me and Quez’s way. I wanted to laugh at her so badly because she knew we didn’t fuck with this shit, but that would probably have her getting all ghetto, so I didn’t. On top of that, I wasn’t really sweating her ignoring me because she was probably only doing it to keep me from dissing her. I hadn’t forgotten what she’d said at the library about me being mean to her.

  “I should have known I was going to see y’all out here.” She smiled.

  Bo looked around at the passing women and licked his lips. “Ain’t no way in hell we would miss a party that Master is throwing.”

  “Why you ain’t out here free like everybody else?” Myeisha pulled at the string of her bikini top, and it fell.

  Azayna caught it and tied it right back before any parts of her could be exposed. “I’m not staying long. I have somewhere else to be in a minute.”

  The hell she had to go?

  “Damn, I would have loved to see you out here in your li’l bikini.”