The Nomad Series-Collectors Edition

by Janine Infante Bosco

  It’s the eyes.

  The eyes we share, the ones I passed down to Skylar.

  They gaze into mine and welcome me home.

  Once the wanderer.

  I am now…

  Gone.

  -Forty-six-

  Celeste

  Cobra died that day.

  We lost him in the back of the ambulance in transit to the hospital. Luckily, the paramedics were able to bring him back, but for sixty-three seconds the love of my life died before my very eyes. I learned then that the only reason I survived the years we weren’t together was because he was still alive, wandering the world. I know I told myself he died when he left at eighteen, but my heart never believed the lie. If it had my heart would have stopped beating.

  Upon our arrival at the hospital they rushed Cobra straight into surgery. I’m a nurse. I knew the odds of surviving were not in his favor. He had two bullets lodged in his chest and one in his abdomen. The two in his chest had exit wounds but until he was in surgery the doctors wouldn’t be able to tell if those bullets hit any major arteries or organs. The other was stuck inside of him and would need to be removed. He had lost an extreme amount of blood as well and would also need a transfusion. To say surgery was risky would be the understatement of the year, but there was no other choice.

  He’d die.

  And that wasn’t an option for me.

  He was in surgery for hours and every hour that passed was more grueling than the one before. I was exhausted, missing my baby and staring at Alexandria the whole fucking time. It didn’t help matters that she was closed off and I had no idea how to handle her. I suggested she get checked out and she tried to flee. After that I gave up, realizing it was going to be a long, grueling road to get Alexandria acclimated to life in the real world.

  I had officially entered the twilight zone, a place where you recover your missing daughter, learn your best friend is alive, and watch the man you love almost die in a spray of bullets all in the same day.

  If I didn’t have a nervous breakdown then, I wouldn’t ever have one…not in this life.

  It was early morning when the surgeon came to update us on Cobra’s condition. He informed us he was able to remove the bullet and the other two had not caused any permanent damage. They removed his spleen and gave him a blood transfusion. They also informed us that the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours were critical.

  I’m learning forty-eight hours is the cut off in extreme situations. The first forty-eight hours Skylar went missing was crucial to her case just like the forty-eight hours following Cobra’s surgery was crucial to his survival.

  He was stable, and on the down low the doctor told me the prognosis was good. He said Cobra was lucky; he must have had an angel on his side. Instantly I thought of Alexandria—how strange is that? It didn’t matter that she was sitting beside me, my brain hadn’t processed that she was alive.

  The next two days were impossible. If I could have split myself three ways I would have done it without question. Part of me would have never left my daughter’s side, another would have helped Alexandria adjust, and the last part would have sat vigil next to Cobra.

  Like I said, impossible.

  Thank God for my parents, Gina, and the club. They all pitched in and helped. My parents and Gina looked after Skylar and brought her to the hospital a couple of times to see me. Jack took Alexandria with him and promised to take care of her until we could figure everything out. The club took turns standing outside Cobra’s room. They made sure I ate, slept and when I needed a moment to myself they took my place next to Cobra.

  Rick’s been here a lot too. He was the one that called Jack and told him that Cobra had gone rogue and was at the docks. If it wasn’t for him, Cobra would likely be dead. I don’t know the details of everything and I don’t want to either. I just want him to wake up. I want this all to be over so we can go back to living our lives.

  Taking his hand in mine, I stare at his face, noticing how pale he is, how the ink that adorns his skin seems so vibrant at this particular moment. The ventilator pushes oxygen into his lungs, creating the only noise in the room and I start to lose it.

  “Jagger, you need to wake up, baby,” I plead.

  The machine sounds in response, angering me.

  “Damn it, Cobra, I know you can hear me,” I rasp, squeezing his hand as someone knocks on the door. Lifting my head, I stare up at Deuce.

  I haven’t seen him since before Cobra was brought into the hospital. The bruises on his face are still visible and by the way he clutches his ribs it’s safe to say he’s hurting.

  “Blondie,” he greets.

  Quickly, I drop Cobra’s hand and rise to my feet, stepping around the bed so I’m standing in front of Deuce, inspecting him.

  “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine,” he insists, pulling off his hat. He runs his hand over his head and glances at Cobra. “How’s he doing?”

  “Thank you,” I blurt, forcing his eyes back to mine. I swallow down the lump in my throat and continue. “Thank you for making sure she was safe,” I murmur.

  “I don’t deserve your gratitude, darlin’. If it wasn’t for me, then she would’ve never been kidnapped in the first place,” he says with regret as he reaches around and cups the back of his neck. He cringes at the slight movement and with his free hand he rubs at his sore ribs. “You want to thank someone, thank Jack for getting us out of there or thank Cobra’s sister,” he snarls. “Bitch is crazy as all hell, but she took care of Skylar.”

  “Did she know who she was?”

  “No,” he says with a shake of his head. “She didn’t know until Blackie didn’t pull the trigger on her. Rush had me tied up in a room that had a shit ton of articles and pictures of her, otherwise I wouldn’t have known either.”

  He pauses assessing my features as he cocks his head and continues.

  “It’s fucked up, Blondie,” he adds. “I don’t even think she realizes she’s been rescued. It’s been hell over at Jack’s, but the motherfucker won’t let me leave either. He’s afraid I’m going to pop a stitch or something. Anyway, she’s better off there than with you. Even if Cobra wasn’t in the hospital, I don’t think she should be around Skylar. Jack and Reina are watching her now. She’s better during the day than she is at night. The girl wakes up every night screaming, she’s all strung out looking for drugs and in her sick mind she thinks we’re holding her captive.” He shakes his head. “Crazy, fucking crazy.”

  Tears prick my eyes as he describes Alexandria.

  “I can’t imagine what she’s been through. Actually, that’s not true, I think both me and Cobra have an idea. When no one found her we thought the worst. Every nightmare we imagined was probably her reality.” I shake my head. “That could’ve been Skylar,” I cry, my voice cracking as the words fall off my tongue.

  “But it’s not,” he says, placing a hand on my shoulder. “And it’s not Ally’s life anymore either. That don’t mean she will forget and everything will go back to normal. It’s going to take her a long time to heal and transition into life again. A life she owns herself.”

  “Ally,” I repeat. “Is that what she wants to be called now?”

  “Fuck if I know. I try not to talk to her too much. Girl’s cost me all sorts of trouble,” he hisses. “She’s been asking to see Cobra, so that’s a good sign. Jack’s dropping off Skylar here like he promised your pops he would so he’ll bring Ally with him.”

  Looking over my shoulder, I stare at him lying helplessly in the bed. The image of him dropping to his knees as he spread his arms wide and sacrificed himself assaults my memory.

  He’s suffered through so much, through losing his sister, both parents and then Skylar went missing. He thought he failed his daughter, mainly because I made him believe he did.

  “Why don’t I go get you something to eat? You look like you’re fading away,” Deuce comments.

  “I’m fine,” I answer automatically.

  “Who you l
ying to, Blondie? You ain’t fine. You’re as fucked as the rest of us and fit right in with all our chaos. Now, you got a little baby growing inside you that needs you well, so I’m going to go grab you a sandwich and you will eat it.”

  “You know about the baby?”

  “Told me right before we picked up Skylar that day. He swore me to secrecy, but fuck, Blondie, as long as I’ve known him I’ve never seen him happier.”

  Staring at Cobra, my heart aches and I wish more than ever he’d open his eyes so I can bring him back to that happy place. Deuce places a hand on my shoulder.

  “I’ll be back. I’ll get you some peanut M&M’s too,” he says as he offers me a wink. He looks back at his friend then turns and walks out of the room, leaving us alone with the sound of the oxygen obnoxiously pumping his breaths.

  Sighing, I step beside him and carefully drop the rail on the bed so I can sit near him on the bed and not in the chair as I have been for the last few days. Suddenly, it's not enough. I need more. I need to feel him next to me. Cautious of the wires and his injuries, I slip into the small space beside him and lay my head next to his.

  “I love you, Jagger,” I whisper into his ear. “I’ve loved you since I first saw you.”

  Closing my eyes, I let the exhaustion settle over me as I reach for his hand and lace our fingers together.

  He squeezes my hand and my eyes fly open.

  He squeezes it again and I watch as his eyes slowly flutter open. Quickly, I push myself up and lean over him, staring into his blue eyes I give him what I know he needs.

  I give him my smile.

  “There’s my guy,” I whisper, pressing my lips to his forehead. He doesn’t respond because of the ventilator in his mouth. I push the call button as he tries to lift his hands. I push his hands back down. “Don’t. Wait for the doctor to come in and look at you.”

  Confused and angry, he shakes his head and balls his hands into fists. I realize he doesn’t know what has happened and probably still thinks Skylar is missing. Instantly, I lift my hands to his cheeks as two nurses enter the room.

  “Baby, she’s fine,” I tell him. “Skylar is home, and she’s safe. She’s perfect.”

  Tears well in his eyes and threaten to spill over as the nurse asks me to step aside. They check his vitals and shine a light in his eyes to see if his pupils dilate. That’s when the tears fall. It’s a moment of realization, a moment of relief.

  She’s alive and so is he.

  “We’re going to have to ask you to step outside so we can remove the ventilator.”

  I nod in understanding, bringing Cobra’s hand to my lips.

  “I’ll be right outside. I’m going to call Jack and have him bring Skylar here so you can see her, okay?”

  “No need to call,” Jack’s voice bellows from behind us. I quickly turn and see him standing by himself in the doorway. He seems to read the question in my eyes and answers it for me.

  “The little lady is in the hallway with Reina and Deuce. I didn’t know if you’d want her to see him like this or not.” He points to Cobra. “I didn’t know he was awake.”

  “He just woke up. They’re going to take him off the ventilator and then we’ll bring her in.”

  Jack nods as he looks at Cobra. There’s so much to say between the two of them but because of Cobra’s condition they don’t say anything. I kiss Cobra’s hand once more and follow Jack out of the room as the doctor enters. He leads me down the corridor to where his wife is playing with Skylar. Alexandria sits across from them staring at them as she scratches her arms and twitches in the chair. It’s a hardship to look at her like that, but one I’ll gladly take.

  “Mama!” Skylar calls, running toward me. I swoop her into my arms and spin her around, enticing a bunch of giggles.

  The best sound ever.

  Beautiful.

  Right there amongst the chaos.

  “Mama’s right here, baby, and guess what? Daddy’s awake. I know he misses you a whole lot and it would make him feel so much better if he saw you.”

  “Daddy sick.”

  “Baby, Daddy has a boo-boo, but he’s going to be okay. We just have to be really careful, okay?”

  “Mmkay.”

  “Celeste?”

  I glance over my shoulder at the doctor.

  “He’s good to go.”

  The smile spreads across my face as I reposition Skylar on my hip and turn to Alexandria. Holding out my hand to her, I watch as she lifts her head and meets my expectant gaze.

  “Let’s go,” I whisper as she places her hand in mine. Hesitantly, she rises to her feet and I feel everyone's eyes on us as we walk toward Cobra’s room. Once we are standing in front of it I drop Ally’s hand and grip the door knob.

  “You should probably go in there before me,” she says quietly. “I mean, I don't know if this is a good idea.”

  “I won't push you, but I know he would really want to see you,” I say softly. “He hasn't been the same since…”

  “I was taken,” she finishes for me.

  It's heartbreaking to hear her say the words, to see the girl I remember crack through the exterior of this strange girl.

  “I'll go first,” I say, deciding she probably needs a moment to gather her bearings. She nods as I turn the knob and step inside, leaving the door slightly open behind me.

  “Daddy,” Skylar says as we walk deeper into the room. Cobra lifts his head off the pillow a fraction before turning it to look at Skylar.

  “There’s my girl,” he rasps, dropping his head back as he releases a sigh of relief. I move to his side and lean over the railing.

  “Careful,” I warn Skylar as she bends her head to kiss him. He reaches up, pushing away her messy curls and stares at her face before slicing his eyes back to me.

  “Is she okay? No one hurt her, did they?” he questions, clenching his jaw as he does.

  “She was a little scared, but she's okay. The pediatrician came to the house to check her out. She's perfect,” I assure him as Skylar wraps her arms around his neck. He closes his eyes and cringes through the pain as he hugs her to his side.

  “I didn't think I'd ever hug her again or get the chance to tell her how happy I am to be her dad. You know that Skylar, don't you? You know Daddy loves you more than anything in this whole wide world,” he rasps hoarsely.

  “Wuv you,” she replies, smacking her lips together.

  He groans when she moves the wrong way and I quickly lift her back into my arms.

  “Are you okay? Should I get the doctor?”

  “No,” he grinds out, pushing through the pain before he diverts his eyes back to mine. “I’m good, I just want to look at you two,” he says. “I’m sorry, gorgeous. I’m so sorry any of this happened to us.”

  “I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for the awful things I said,” I whisper. “I feel like it’s my fault you’re lying here.”

  “It’s not.”

  “God, Jagger, you scared the hell out of me,” I murmur. “I thought you really left this time,” I cry, wiping my cheek with the back of my free hand. “Tell me you’ll never leave, promise me this is where you want to be, right here with us.”

  He’s quite for a moment, staring back and forth between me and Skylar before he speaks.

  “Been all over, baby, from coast to coast and the only place I ever want to be is wherever you and these kids are,” he murmurs, holding out his hand for me.

  I place my hand in his and let him pull me closer. He releases my hand and lays his over my stomach.

  “Now, promise me something,” he whispers.

  “Anything.”

  “Your smile.”

  “Always.”

  Then I do it.

  I smile at him.

  And he tally’s it along with the rest.

  -Forty-seven-

  Cobra

  In another life, I would have died…should have died.

  They say before you leave this earth you see the people you lost along your
journey. It’s supposed to be an act of comfort or something like that. A bullshit theory some guy came up with to make it easy for you to close your eyes and surrender to defeat. For me, I saw my sister. Not as the child I remembered but as the woman she became.

  It wasn’t comforting, and I knew if that man’s theory held any substance, seeing Alexandria like that meant only one thing. Not only was I about to die but I was going to the same hell as her. A reunion. Not the kind I spent years wishing for, but a reunion nonetheless.

  In this life, I live.

  I live to see my little girl, safe and sound.

  I live to see the woman I love, the only one I ever loved, smile at me as she promises me a lifetime full of those smiles.

  Everyone I’ll tally and cherish.

  In this life, I get to repent against my sins. I get a second chance to be the man I was destined to be. To be the husband and father my old man never was.

  It’s not that he didn’t want to be better, he couldn’t. Desperation makes a man lose sight of who he is. It weakens him and allows him to self-destruct. That’s the act of war. It’s not a fight against anyone or anything, it’s the fight we have against ourselves.

  I may have lost that battle on the docks with myself, but somehow I’m the victor. That doesn’t happen for many and when it does; you need to reevaluate your life.

  In this life, I leave my sister and the revenge behind and choose my family, the family I never thought I’d have.

  I choose my girls.

  I choose life over death.

  Brotherhood over solidarity.

  I have a lot of work ahead of me. Aside from making my family work, finding a balance between father and biker, I also need to make things right with my club. I need to give them my trust and pay back my debts to Jack for bringing my daughter home.

  “I’m going to bring her out to Reina, and then there is something I need to tell you,” Celeste says, running her hand down our daughters back. I can tell by the look in her eyes whatever she’s going to tell me is deep and I almost wish I could stop the words from spilling from her mouth.