“Brother,” Droxahn said, rounding the corner.
He sighed again. There was too much occupying his mind, too many questions that needed answers. The last thing he needed was to see Droxahn and Aizen. He loved his sister, and was happy that she’d found someone to share her heart. But witnessing their affections only served to remind him of the painful uncertainty of his own.
Feigning his best smile, he greeted them. “Sister, Aizen. Where are you off to?” he asked with as much enthusiasm as he could muster.
“Aizen wanted to visit the lake. Would you and Sahma like to come? Ahni and Ameya will be with us.”
His thoughts immediately returned to Sahma’s clinging tunic. “No…no, thank you, Sister. As I said, I didn’t sleep well last night. I think I’ll try to rest.”
“Are you certain?” Aizen asked. “Mayhaps you could come and rest on the bank. It’s a beautiful day.”
“Thank you, no. It’s the comfort of my bed that I need.”
“Well, enjoy your rest,” Droxahn said. “We probably won’t return until after the noon meal. Aizen packed a basket.”
Ahvixx nodded, watching them disappear down the corridor hand in hand. He stood there a moment more before entering his room, sitting near the hearth. Closing his eyes, he contemplated not only his current situation, but also the path that led him there.
“The many secrets of love,” he said aloud. It was my desire, too, Sahma. I just didn’t have the courage to ask for your promise before making love to you, he thought, picturing her nakedness outlined by the soft glow of the hearth’s light.
To his surprise, Sahma tapped on his door. When she entered his room, he rushed over, lifting her from the floor as he moved behind the door, smothering her with kisses.
“I’m glad that you’ve come,” he said, leading her to a seat beside his.
“Had I known that I’d receive such a reception, I would’ve hurried my steps.” She giggled, but her mirth was cut short, noticing his serious expression. “Has something happened, Ahvixx?”
“Only the most wonderful experience of my life. Do you not remember it?”
“Remember? Ahvixx, I’ll never forget. How could I?”
“What are we going to do?”
“I came to see if you’d like to walk in the gardens.”
“The gardens?”
“Yes. It’s a beautiful day, and we haven’t searched the skies for some time.”
“Is this all you want?”
“I’m sorry, Ahvixx, I didn’t mean to disturb your rest. I thought you’d enjoy visiting the gardens with me. In the past—”
He silenced her with a kiss. “I do want to spend time with you and so much more. Do you want the same?”
“Of course, I do. You’re my dearest of friends and the only one that I want to be with. You know this.”
“What about me? How do you feel about me?”
Sahma’s brow furrowed, searching his face. She knew what she wanted, but wouldn’t assume the same of him. After their time together she wasn’t certain how he felt. She enjoyed him being a part of her, but she didn’t want those intimacies to influence the direction of their relationship. She wouldn’t risk losing the only man she’d ever loved.
“Ahvixx, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I love you. I’ve always loved you,” he said, kissing her more passionately than ever before. As he drew her closer, loud, rapid knocks sounded from behind them.
“Sir Ojarz!” Ahvixx said, leaping to his feet. “Can…I mean…how…uhm…can I help you?”
Olam glanced at the two of them, stepping into the room.
“Sahma, I think you should join your mother. It appears that Ahvixx and I have something to discuss.”
Without a word of protest, she stood, hastening from the chamber. Ahvixx peered at Olam, and his shoulders slumped as he took his seat.
“What are you doing, Ahvixx?” Olam asked, crossing his arms over his slender chest.
“Sir?”
“Don’t act as if you have no idea what I’m talking about. Sahma. What’s happening between you and the young girl?”
“She isn’t a girl, Sir Ojarz.” He stated more forcefully than he’d intended. Ahvixx sighed, lowering his head to his hands.
“She’s no longer a young girl. Sahma is a beautiful young woman and my dearest friend.”
Olam relaxed, taking a seat next to him. “Yes. Sahma is a girl no longer. This means that you’re interaction and closeness needs to change as well. We all know that you’re special friends, and we’ve monitored that friendship closely. Once, you studied to be a priest and as such, there was no cause for concern. Albeit, much has changed with not only you, but Sahma, too. Having her alone in your chamber could lead to more than I’ve just witnessed.
“This isn’t an admonition, Ahvixx, such feelings are natural. It’s obvious that you love each other. Sahma keeps her feelings for you no secret. However, I believe you’ve returned those feelings and probably more. You no longer love her as merely a friend, you love and desire her as a woman.”
“I’ve always loved her. It wasn’t sudden due to any physical changes.”
“I know, Ahvixx, and that isn’t what I meant. Sahma befriended you when you had no one else. Her heart is open, and she gives it freely. She gave all of herself to you as only one with her heart can. She’s a very special young woman, and I love her as my own.”
“Why then is it wrong for me to love her?”
“I didn’t say that it was wrong. I asked what you are doing. This is something that you need to truly consider. That wasn’t a kiss of friendship.”
“I know what I’m doing. I’d marry her on the morrow if she’d have me. I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life.”
“But you don’t know if she would, do you?”
“No,” he admitted not only to Olam, but also to himself. He leaned back in the chair, closing his eyes.
“How does it feel not to know if the person you love so dearly will accept and return that love in kind?” Olam asked.
“I feel numb and in agony all at once. Never have I felt such an ache. Never.”
Olam stood, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t understand,” Ahvixx said. “Why is the pain so overwhelming?”
“Because you’re truly in love. Never have you experienced the sharing of your heart in this manner. Only the deepest love can cause the greatest pain. Your heart is true; take comfort in that.”
“I need to talk with her, Olam. She needs to know how I truly feel. We’ve kissed before, but not like that. If her heart wasn’t for me, why would she return such a kiss? I need to know if she loves me the way that I do her.”
“What you need now is rest. Mayhaps after you’ve slept, your mind will be clear. I’ll speak to Sahma and Saifu.” Olam upraised a hand. “There’s no need to mention the kiss, but I’ll make Saifu aware of your feelings. No one will judge you because of your love for Sahma. She’s of the age for promise and bond, but I fear being alone with her isn’t an option now. Do you understand?”
Ahvixx did understand. He also understood that he needed to be with her.
“May I go to her now?”
“No. You need to rest,” Olam said. “I came to tell you that we’re leaving for Nazil on the morrow.”
“But—”
“Don’t worry, Ahvixx. You’ll be able to speak with her soon. Both Saifu and Yeshe think very highly of you and your friendship with Sahma. Not only has she brought out a change in you, but you’ve also done the same for her.”
“But would they accept me for their daughter as anything other than a friend? Her father is a high lord, and I—”
“You are who Sahma loves,” Olam said. “We are Bandarian before anything else. Station means even less to us now than it did when we lived at the base of the mountains. When we return from Nazil, I’ll speak to Saifu and Yeshe on your behalf. If they aren’t receptive to your pro
mise, it won’t have anything to do with your supposed standing in these lands. Saifu will judge your character as you are, not as you believe you should be.”
CHAPTER TEN
The Key
“We must, Father,” Nikolina said. “The pain increases with each rise of the sun.”
Allister felt impotent, caressing her trembling hand. Although their outer wounds had healed, their emotional turmoil would be everlasting. It was even more so once they’d returned to Nazil. Allister prayed that the worst was behind them, but then he discovered the tattered map in an inner pocket of his cloak. That map would lead him to the key, but what would that mean for his family, or for Faélondul?
Weeks had passed since their ordeal on Sanctium, and Lilinth’s threats were coming to fruition. Nikolina’s episodes had begun three suns past, and not even the healer could ascertain the cause or lessen the pain’s severity. Allister saw only two options before him: either he could do nothing, and continue watching his daughter suffer, or he could acquiesce to the mage’s demands.
He kissed the hand he was caressing, forcing an unsuccessful smile. “No, Nikolina. I must go. I refuse to allow you to suffer because of my ignorance. Never should I have taken you to such a place. In my heart, I knew, but I—I—”
“You listened to the foolish pleas of your daughter. I’m the one at fault.” She winced. “You warned me about your fear, but I wouldn’t listen or admit that I felt the same. Now, my son is at risk, and mayhaps, all of Nazil. It’s because of me that Danimore’s son died. The scorn inside of me took all else from my mind.
“Danimore was right not to choose me as his wife. I’m a wretched creature, Father. Wretched!” She shrieked, curling as the pain radiated throughout her entire body.
“By the gods, Nikolina.” He stood, searching the darkened recesses of the room. “Please, please stop this. Stop this, damn you! I’ll do whatever you command. Just stop—” His words ended in a gasp as Nikolina sprang up in bed, releasing an ear-piercing shriek before she collapsed, lying as still as the sudden silence that surrounded him.
“No. No,” he said, rushing back to her side. Noticing the slight rise and fall of her chest, Allister lowered his head to hers, begging any gods who’d listen to protect his daughter.
“My beautiful Nikolina,” he murmured, stroking her face. Nikolina’s usually smooth complexion appeared aged, and had taken on a sickly pallor. “Forgive me,” he said, pulling the covers up around her.
As he turned to leave, he paused, looking down at his youngest child. He didn’t want to leave her side, but Lilinth had left him no choice. There was only one way to save his daughter, and that was in the Dessalonian Mountains.
Allister hurried down the corridor, yelling for Dalinda as he went. After grabbing a large haversack, he began filling it with supplies as she appeared in his entryway.
“Dalinda, you must send for Arilian. Nikolina is resting now, but the pain is growing worse.”
“Yes, milord. Are you leavin’?”
He nodded. “If the gods are good, I’ll be gone no more than a fortnight,” he said, peering down at the tattered map before replacing it in his cloak pocket. “Ensure that Nikolina receives her herbs and plenty of broth.”
“Yes, milord.”
“Good…good. Have my cart made ready. And I’ll need provisions as well.”
“Provisions?”
“Didn’t you hear me? I need provisions for my trip. The road will be long and there aren’t any inns or way-stops along my path. I’ll need some warm blankets, and a pack with kindling and camping supplies, too. The cold season is upon us.”
“As you say, milord. You need’n anythin’ else?”
He stopped, turning to regard her. Never had he spoken harshly to his servants, especially Dalinda.
“Beg pardon. I have little time to prepare, and I’m worried about Nikolina. I didn’t intend to be terse, Dalinda. Please ensure that the cart and provisions are ready. I must leave with haste.”
“Yes, milord, right away.” She curtsied.
When the door closed, he withdrew the map again.
“Through the east gate for at least four suns,” he said, tracing a finger along the path. “Then straight north for two suns, it seems, mayhaps more. Then the path turns eastward again. The seventh peak.”
He walked to his window, peering at the towering Dessalonian Mountains in the distance. “The key,” he said, pulling on a pair of warm boots. After removing a heavier cloak and gloves from his chest, he reached for the map. It had been many seasons since he’d traveled from the city. Mahlum had been the last place he’d visited.
“Mahlum,” he said, lamenting the loss of the village and the Nazilians who lived there. His eyes closed, thinking of the lives lost during the war…the lives that the Benoists ended so brutally. With that thought, Allister’s eyes blinked open.
“No. The Benoists didn’t cause this. Draizeyn Vereux waged war on Faélondul. The Benoists defended our lands and restored our way of life. All of our lives. They haven’t dishonored the white city or betrayed the Nazilians,” he said, thinking clearly for perhaps the first time since the war’s end.
“What have I begun?”
Scrolls
Ahvixx’s brow furrowed, shifting through the piles of parchments. A slight gasp escaped his lips as he examined the text. He cleared the area in front of him, laying three parchments out in a row. His eyes darted back and forth before grabbing a blank piece of vellum.
“What have you found?” Thalassa asked.
“As yet, it’s unknown,” he said, scrutinizing the scrolls.
Thalassa rubbed the weariness from her eyes, turning to Nzuri. “What do you think of Pentanimir’s report?”
“It’s remarkable. I’m anxious to learn what else the Zaxson will reveal. The experience seems to have affected him in a profound manner. Never have I seen him so withdrawn.”
“Is it not understandable?” Ahvixx asked. “To learn that everyone in these lands are one and the same. Such a magnificent and parlous revelation. The Cha have always taught of the preeminence of Nazilians, the direct descendants of the gods. To learn now, all of us have the same ancestries and that only our appearance differs is phenomenal.”
“No one shares the same features. Only in Nazil has this been so,” Thalassa said.
“True, but in the case of the Cha, they used these differences to place the Nazilians above all others. When I studied their ancient text, the Sulos, it was apparent that this belief, this deceit be propagated through religion. It wasn’t enough to make the assertion and act in a manner that supported the same. No. The Cha were brilliant in their deception. They knew only through their gods and the people’s affinity and trust of the divine could this come to pass.”
“They couldn’t have been certain of the success they’d achieve,” Nzuri said.
Ahvixx shook his head. “Not true. In all the histories available to us, religion is an integral factor. The common person needs that connection, the hope, and belief that there’s more than what we see—that no matter the life they’re forced to lead, there’s a better one that awaits them—a divine promise of eternal peace. Believing that there are only these lands and these connections until our limited years have ended, doesn’t mollify the hearts and minds of the people. The gods are needed, and the Cha created their own with not a divine purpose, but an iniquitous one.”
Thalassa nodded. “Then what shall we do? Surely, the Nazilians won’t only reject, but will take great offense at the notion that they’re also human. The fact that what they’ve propagated as a divine right was in truth a penance for transgressions against the true gods won’t be a case easily made.”
“Does it need to be?” Nzuri said. “What would be the gain in forcing this information on the masses? The Nazilians will reject this truth just as they rejected Tesu and the Protectors. No one will think the features they extol as godly are merely unforeseen corollaries of a century of atonement in the abyss.
“Angelaris told Pentanimir to provide the people with the knowledge. We’ll transcribe the scrolls in the common tongue for all the cities and villages. However, with the turmoil already present, I wouldn’t advise publicly making this proclamation.”
“Nor I,” Thalassa agreed.
“Yet, we must make the information available and continue our research,” Ahvixx said. “There’s more here than we know. I find it fascinating. Not only to learn of our true Nazilian heritage, but also the Doh’Mahn Vwazi Tr’Eon.”
“We must learn of it, but it gives me pause,” Nzuri said.
Ahvixx’s expression was bemused. “Pause? It’s logical for there to be such a gate. When I learned about the T’reyUhm R’aFek in my studies, the absence of a gate of opposite design was troubling. From all the available information, there were several constants. One of those is balance. In learning that the Seven I’ve served are the quintessence of the seven Guardians, I understand. Is balance not one of their most salient tenets? As such, there wouldn’t be a T’reyUhm R’aFek without having an equal, yet opposite that is the Doh’mahn Vwazi Tr’Eon. Balance,” he said, looking from one to the other.
“Yes, but those Pentanimir saw in this…this abyss had passed through the divine gate as well. There is a symbiosis of the two, isn’t there?” Nzuri asked.
“Yes and no. We all must be judged, so to speak, but the Doh’mahn Vwazi Tr’Eon is of a different design and purpose. It is antithetical to the T’reyUhm R’aFek, yet existing symbiotically with it.”
“Olam was modest regarding your intellect and intuition,” Nzuri said. “It’s a pleasure to have you with us.”
“I’m honored, High Priest.”
Nzuri and Thalassa smiled, continuing their work.
“I’ve brought some refreshments,” Sahma said, entering the room and setting a tray on the table. “There’s tea and honey as well,” she said to Ahvixx.
“Thank you, Sahma,” Nzuri said. “Micah would’ve brought the tray. You didn’t need to interrupt your visit with your sister.”
Seed of Scorn Page 27
