Heart of the Staff - Complete Series

by Carol Marrs Phipps

  “You have my word. Niarg has the plague, too?

  “Several have died at Castle Niarg,” she said with a nod. “The first death was a young courier from Far, so it's there, too.”

  Neron paused to shake his head grimly. “I must go,” he said as he hurriedly stepped to the door and opened it. “Thank you, thank you! You've saved my whole world.”

  “Six drops under her tongue, six times a day...” she called after him, but he had already vanished into the night air.

  “Nessa,” he said softly the moment he appeared by her side, “I have the most wonderful news.” He gently brushed aside her hair. Her forehead was cold. For a moment he couldn't breathe. He frantically grabbed up her cold hand and held it to his cheek as a horror of icy fire flooded his chest. “Oh...! No!” he cried out, echoing through every hall in the palace as his legs buckled and gave way.

  ***

  Razzmorten awoke to the languid lapping of waves and the cries of gulls. “Something sure smells delicious,” he said as he sat up to find that he was not only coated all the way down his back with sand, but that the high tide in the night had soaked him from the knees down. He could hear Meri Greenwood humming as he stirred something in a tin pan over the coals of a fire. He was astonished to see two places neatly set in white porcelain on a green and white chequered cloth, spread out on an absolutely dead level spot in the sand.

  “I am a-pouring your tea, said Meri. “Hit the leaves of one of the five trees of paradise be. Hit will ye to waken right smart.”

  “Yes I see,” said Razzmorten as he came and knelt before the first cup poured. “And good morning to you, Meri Greenwood. And what is this wonderful aroma?”

  “Great gulf crabs boiled in salt water, kelp and leeks.”

  “Good heavens! Those things only come up in nets from the bottom of the deep. How did you...?”

  “I while you was sleeping, my breath did a-hold,” he said as he poured a mysterious sauce into a tiny cup sitting by the crab on each plate. Did the dorchadas you your knife to relieve?”

  “No. I still have it, would you believe? Apparently they never looked for it.”

  Meri nodded at the food and they began eating at once.

  “I hope you don't mind, Meri.... Mmm! This is delicious. But as soon as we finish eating, I must hurry and load my wagon and leave. Who knows how many new cases of the plague there are in Niarg.”

  “I wish ye well, and indeed your need of haste I do understand, but hit am I whoso in the greatest haste happen to be, for I must my beloved Celeste for to find. And if you your self in the company of your brother do find, please for to ask where they be.”

  Razzmorten caught Meri's eye. “I'll not forget,” he said with a shake of his head as he raised a bite of crab between his thumb and the point of his knife. “But I have never so much as begun to understand the meaning of what drives Razzorbauch.”

  When they had finished eating, Razzmorten helped

  Meri clean the dishes in the gentle waves. Meri walked over to the green chequered cloth, picked it up by its corner and cracked it like a whip, making the fire and the flat place in the sand and every single footprint vanish. He took out his twist, bit off a fresh chaw and held out his hand.

  “I won't forget to ask about Celeste,” said Razzmorten as he shook hands.

  Meri smiled, gave a nod and walked away into the countryside.

  Razzmorten glanced uphill toward his hay wagon. When he looked back, Meri was nowhere to be seen. He gave a great sigh and trudged uphill. When he reached the wagon, he picked up his fork and spent the next hour in the hot sun loading and tramping the oregano. At last he took a seat amongst the tools he had nestled in the top of the load and sat for a moment as the breeze cooled his sweat soaked clothes. Presently, he picked up his hands and shook them as if they held reins to a team of unicorns. Immediately he was inside the bay of his barn as the frightened swallows swooped and darted out into the light of day. Somewhere up in the mow above, a pigeon was cooing as he slid down the front of his load with a bound.

  “Let's see if Abracadabra's gone out to pasture, yet,” he said as he stepped up into the feed way. He walked the length of the barn to find the unicorns still in their stalls, their horns waving about above the manger as they ate their morning oats. He stepped into the granary and got his saddle. He was just cinching Abracadabra's girth when Minuet's silhouette appeared in the doorway.

  “You're back,” she said. “Where are you going?”

  “Castle Niarg,” he said with a grunt as he gave a final tug. “I've decided to set up the distillery right outside the barn, so I need to see King Henry. He's fixing to have me do it somewhere in the outer ward. Leeuh's just going to have to wait for her gift. Is

  Hubba Hubba in one piece?”

  “He's safe in my room.”

  “So what calamity has she orchestrated in my absence?” he said as he led Abracadabra out into the light.

  “Nothing big enough to discuss now.”

  “Anything else?” he said, gathering his reins and finding his stirrup.

  “Prince Neron came looking for you in the middle of the night.”

  “Now what?” he said, settling into his saddle.

  “His wife is dying of the plague, and...”

  “And?”

  “And the poor man was devastated,” she said with her smile utterly gone, “so I gave him my vial of oil and pipette.” She paused to look down at the piece of grass she was twisting in her hands. “And he wouldn't tell me what she was dying of, and I guessed the plague at once, so he gave in and told me anyway. So I felt terrible and gave in and told him where you were. It seemed like the right thing at the time, and now I feel awful. I knew I wasn't supposed to, but he promised not to tell a soul...”

  “You did the right thing. I'd have made an exception for him, and I'm right proud of your choice, but it does scare me out of my wits. I'll have to get back immediately from Castle Niarg so that I can start on some oil for you. You can help me.”

  “Maybe we can get Leeuh to help,” she said, looking as though she had let all the cows graze in the vegetable garden.

  “We can always hope,” he said as he turned aside and set off at a gallop. Minuet watched him standing in the saddle, pounding away down the lane. When he reached the road, she tossed aside her twisted grass and started for the hen house to find where she had set her basket of eggs.

  “How can Leeuh be so confounded confident all the time?” she said as she snatched up her basket from amongst some hens taking dust baths. “Here I try my very hardest to do the right thing, and Father even says I did, but part of me still feels as though I let him down.”

  In the breeze way between the summer kitchen and the house, a whirl of heady air stirred her hair as she set down the eggs. “Bethan!” she said, speaking out. “Are those cinnamon buns? They smell wonderful.”

  Bethan appeared in the doorway of the summer kitchen. “You never know whether they're wonderful or not until you have one,” she said, handing her a bun. “I've got a gob of old Doll's butter from yesterday, a-melting in that one the way you like it, honey. So what ye think?”

  “Oh, mmm! It's the best thing in the whole world. I love it when you make these.”

  “So I don't have to throw 'em out to the hogs, and start over?”

  “Fiddlesticks! What you simply must do is give me another one immediately, just like this one.”

  “Now, your Father's going to miss out, a-riding off full tilt like that,” she said as she daubed a dessert spoon full of butter into another steaming bun. “Is he coming right back?”

  “No. He's off to the castle.”

  “Well there's nothing there that'll beat these cinnamon buns. You just said so, yourself. And your sister? We know about her, don't we?”

  “Yea, I guess we do.”

  “Well Min-Min, what I want to know is, if I just keep handing you ones these buttered buns, can I skip setting out breakfast inside? It would save me dish
es, and I've got all kinds o' peas to pick and hull.”

  “Give me two more and you're off the hook. The peas are ready?”

  “I should be a-picking them right now.”

  They looked up suddenly to the sound of the door of the house, just as Ugleeuh tramped sullenly into the summer kitchen and without a word, began snatching up buns from the rack by the oven.

  “You could be good enough to ask Bethan, first...” said Minuet.

  “Yea?” said Ugleeuh. “Well where has she been all this time? I've been sitting at the board in the house for an eternity, waiting for my breakfast...”

  “Lee-Lee! We've been out here, eating...”

  “And if Bethan had been doing her job, I would have been eating, too!”

  “I'll be right in and set you a place, Mistress Leeuh...” said Bethan as Ugleeuh tramped out of the summer kitchen for the house.

  “No you don't, Bethan!” said Minuet. “She already has her breakfast. She just walked out with a whole arm load of buns.”

  “Well, I'd best take her this butter...”

  “No you don't!” said Minuet. “Here. Give me the butter. I'll go see to that little witch. I'll be out to help with the peas as soon as I'm done with her. Now, don't look so worried. I'm going to tell Father all about how she treated you.” And with that, she hurried across the breeze way to the house.

  “Well?” said Ugleeuh at the sight of Minuet coming in the door.”

  “Well, what?”

  “Where is she? She's supposed to set my place for breakfast.”

  “She has better things to do than be ordered about by some mean spirited girl. You were awful to her! I told her to go on about her business. But even so, she insisted that I fetch you this butter.”

  “Well, aren't we goody-goody, this morning,” she said with a glower as she batted aside the bowl of butter, flipping a dessert spoon out of it onto the table top. “Hear that, Minny-Min? Your stinking Elf's back to pester us, a-knocking on the front door.”

  “How would that sound to Father, Leeuh?”

  “Like maybe I don't need to dance for his approval any more, the way you do...”

  “Razzorbauch is at the front door and wishes to see Mistress Ugleeuh,” said Peredur, suddenly stepping into the kitchen.

  “Uncle Razzorbauch!” squealed Ugleeuh as she chucked her buns into the butter bowl and sprang from the bench to dash away to the door.

  Minuet gave a great sigh and climbed the stairs to her room. “There's no point wasting the morning being ignored by Uncle Razzorbauch,” she said. “I swear, HubbaHubba. You seem to be listening to every word I say. Here. Let's put you on my shoulder and go down to the garden and pick peas with Bethan. You'll love peas. And while its all peas and swearing, I'd say Ugleeuh and Uncle Razzorbauch are the original two peas in a pod.”

  ***

  “For me?” said Ugleeuh with a coy gasp as she bounced at the sight of a box tied with a red ribbon. “I knew you wouldn't forget the most important birthday of my life.” She fell to untying the ribbon at once.

  “I couldn't forget my favorite niece's eighteenth birthday,” said Razzorbauch. “You're finally a woman, and that's not something which happens every day, is it?”

  “You're the only one in my life who feels that way,” she said with a look of radiant adoration.

  “Still being treated the same way by your father and sister, aye?”

  She gave a fierce nod.

  “Father actually got me a filthy popinjay for my birthday as if I were a child who needed a pet to show responsibility for. Can you believe that? And when I was stunned that he would treat me that way, he got all mad and gave it to Minuet instead.”

  “I love my dear twin brother, but as much as we've always looked alike, I'd never mistreat you as he has. He has always made everyone sacrifice for his fiddly details, while he completely misses the grand scheme of things.”

  “I've always thought it would be wonderful if I were your daughter instead of your niece.”

  “So. Are you going to open that? You'll see it's no child's gift.”

  “Oh my!” she gasped. “A gorgeous necklace. Rubies?”

  “I just knew it belonged around your lovely neck when I saw it.”

  “You always know just the right thing to get me,” she said, fastening it on at once. “I love this. It goes perfectly with my dark hair. Don't you think?”

  “Those are my very thoughts.”

  “Father and Minuet ate my cake as you might imagine, so I made the stupid hired lady bake me another one. You want some of it?”

  “Well perhaps,” he said, studying her keenly, “but I think I'd prefer to stay in here and visit with you for a bit first.”

  “Why yes,” she said. “Is there something you wanted to talk about?”

  “I was wondering if you might like a change.”

  “A change? What do you mean?”

  “Well now that you're a grown woman, would you'd like to get out on your own and do something new with your life? I can see by how things are here that you deserve some independence.”

  “Like what?” she said, sitting very still to keep from going giddy with excitement.

  “How about joining me in a business venture?”

  “Oh maybe,” she said, stifling a yawn to keep from springing up and skipping around the room, “if it's the right sort of thing.” She paused long enough to actually consider. “Well I might be interested...” She fiddled with her necklace. “Except...well, you know, her.”

  “Her?” he said, looking lost. “Oh! Your mother?” He turned to her and caught her eye at once.

  Ugleeuh was nodding.

  “Oh my word! Don't worry about Demonica, dear. She'd love to get to know her only daughter.”

  Ugleeuh had a doubtful look. “Did she tell you that?”

  “Well not in those words, but I do know her very well and she does want to get to know you.”

  “So why'd she abandon me in the first place?”

  Razzorbauch's eyes filled with compassion as he rose and sat beside her to take up her hand. “I'm sure she'd explain every bit of that if you gave her the chance, Leeuh.”

  Ugleeuh stared for a spell into the sooty fireplace as if it held a flame, tapping at a tooth. “You know,” she said with a nod, “I'd like to give her that very chance.”

  Chapter 6

  “Helena,” said King Henry, taking up her hand. “Look 'ee there at who's just stepped into the throne room...

  “Razzmorten!” he said, speaking out in the cavernous hall.

  Razzmorten halted on the runner to the dais and bowed grandly twice before crossing the length of the room to the throne.

  “So,” said Henry, leaning forward from the edge of his great chair. Does this mean your Elven hyssop harvest went as well as you'd expected?”

  Suddenly movement dropped down the far wall, grabbing everyone's attention, as a barn owl silenced a squeaking rat, hesitated with a circular glance into the trusses above, and leaped into flight with its prize back to its nest under the ridge pole.

  “Damn good owl,” said Henry as Razzmorten stepped up onto the dais. “Did you get your wagon load?”

  “I did indeed sire, and I'm right ready to commence with the distillery.”

  “Excellent! Maybe we can stop this plague before it becomes an avalanche of horrors. There've been above a dozen new cases since you left. My dear Helena was one of them.”

  “I'd swear that I've heard every word, sire, but the queen is sitting right beside you.”

  Henry threw a laugh into the echoes of the room. “I see you're not yet familiar with your own medicine,” he said as he took off his crown and rubbed his eyes. A breeze passed through the hall, sending a ripple along the great banner hanging behind the thrones. “She had it when you came with the cure. She went to shaking and burning up with a fever immediately after you left. She was the very first one to try the oil. Her fever was gone by morning, but she's still rather pale.”
/>
  “Why, I had no idea that it worked so quickly.”

  “I could see that you didn't,” he said with a leftover chuckle. “Well, Leigheas said she had the mildest form, but I dare say that a one in four chance of living to tell about it isn't very mild.”

  “No, it isn't.”

  “Now do you have any idea when you might have your first batch of oil?”

  “Oh my. It would only be a guess...”

  “I'm sorry. I was more interested in your tidings than in your comfort. That chair right there, do have a seat.”

  “Thank you,” said Razzmorten, sitting at once. “I'm going straight home to Peach Knob the minute we're done here and begin building a small distilling apparatus. When I get it going, I'll either improve it or build bigger ones, or what ever I need to do to produce ever more oil until this is all over. I don't know which will be the biggest problem, producing the oil or keeping ourselves in plants.”

  “It sounds like you have things well in hand. We'll pay the wage of anyone you wish to have help you. Captain Strong is all ready to show you a couple possible sights in the outer ward which you might use for your distillery.”

  “I indeed appreciate that sire, and I will take advantage of it, but it might be better if I set up the still away from the public, so if you've no objection, I'll build it at my manor. And if I do so, then I'll have all the help and materials that I need for the time being with one exception...”

  “Actually that's a relief,” said Henry as he smoothed back his hair and replaced his crown. “I'd worried about how to explain the still without touching off a panic. So what's the exception?”

  “I'm going to start out with a big rendering kettle. I need someone out of the armory perhaps, who can make a steam tight cover with a spout for it out of sheet iron, and who can come to Peach Knob today and stay quiet about it.”

  “That would be Sergeant Hensnape without a doubt. You've got him. I'll have him sent to Peach Knob as soon as you leave. And I'd allow that you're right ready to get started back.”