Heart of the Staff - Complete Series

by Carol Marrs Phipps

  “Good!” cried the raven from somewhere overhead. “Good! Good!”

  Hebraun and Minuet studied the sky from under their hands, trying to see, just as the bird swooped down to land on the table again.

  Minuet reached out to a mint leaf that garnished the aspic.

  “Don't touch the mother swyving food, Queen-o,” shouted the raven. “Hit's poison! Hey, queinte! I said hit's poison!”

  “Poison?” she said, suddenly catching on. “How do you know?”

  “That's what Neron said...”

  “Neron?” said Hebraun. “Just who are you?”

  “Ocker I be, top raven in the Forest,” he said, suddenly thrusting himself to his full height and bristling out his neck like a duster. “Whoop-ooo! Ocker I be.”

  “How do you know Neron?” said Minuet.

  “Pissen on Neron. I'll tell ye later,” said Ocker, leaping into the air to settle back onto the table. “You need to know that Demonica's rotten spawn murdered Talamh Coille Graham, took his poison and came straightaway to kill you ones. She's a swyving wicche. I've watched her.”

  “I'll be right back,” said Hebraun, stepping to the doorway. “Guards!” he hollered.

  They came running at once. “Sire?” said the first one, as Ugleeuh thrashed about in a desperate struggle to get at her scrying ball and staff, giving her head a vicious whack on the bottom of the sideboard. Everyone saw her at once.

  “Seize her!” shouted Hebraun. “Get Captain Strong. Now!”

  “She's a wicche,” said Ocker. “We all need to be in there, a-watching her.”

  “There's a pair of barn owls in there,” said Minuet.

  “Poop!” said Ocker. “I hunt with owls, sometimes. Come on, Queen-o.” And with that, he swooped through the door.

  Minuet sat back down with a rattling sniffle and daubed at her eyes.

  Presently, Ocker flew back out, followed by Hebraun, Captain Strong and a young private who had the stray hounds in tethers.

  “Hit's poison,” rattled Ocker as he settled onto the table.

  Captain Strong gave Ocker a look of astonishment and set the platter of lamb and aspic on the floor as the hounds yanked tight against their tethers to gobble it down. After a half dozen noisy swallows apiece, first one then the other dog lifted his head and stood statue still for a moment, before collapsing utterly stone dead.

  “Get her to the dungeon,” hollered Captain Strong. “Has anyone got word to Razzmorten, yet?”

  “How did Neron come to send you, Ocker?” said Hebraun.

  “He and I do business,” said Ocker as he snapped first one wing and then the other. “When the wicche burnt up Graham, he had an emergency, so he sent me. He'll be on his way here directly. Say. Did you see that Queen-o's been crying?”

  Hebraun looked up at once to see Minuet shake her head with a fierce look at Ocker as she sat up rod straight. He walked over to her with a look of concern.

  Suddenly she threw her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt with a whooping sob. “I've loved her since she was just a baby,” she wailed. “I had such high hopes...”

  After some time, Hebraun and Minuet sat side by side on the balustrade. “Ocker,” said Hebraun, “We owe you our very lives.”

  “Good,” said Ocker as he gave himself a shake and a snap of each wing. “I allowed hit was something. You know, I always get paid for my services, and hit almost never has been this far, and I've not never saved any lives before...”

  Chapter 25

  Ugleeuh sat on her straw pallet and stared through the iron bars at the two guards stationed outside her cell. She would stare at one of them until he became agitated and then she would do the same to the other one. Because of her insolent nature, it managed to amuse her while she waited for a break in their endless watch over her. As long as they stayed in front of her cell looking right at her, she had no chance to use her traveling spell to escape. They even kept the area lit with candles and watched her at night. “When I get out of this revolting hole, all three shifts of you are going to pay. You owe me. You all owe me,” she muttered.

  At last she lay down and closed her eyes. “There has to be a way to get rid of those two toads,” she thought. She couldn't put a spell on them because Razzmorten had put wards on the front of her cell to keep her from doing that very thing. The guards were not about enter her cell, either. At first, they slid her food and two pitchers of water a day through the small grate in the bottom of her door. When she discovered that the food and water were drugged, she cut her drinking down to the smallest amount that she could stand, right before she slept, and quit eating altogether.

  “What if I tell them I'm ready to eat and then choke on my food?” she thought. “Fiddlesticks! Every prisoner ever in this place has probably tried that one. And they've undoubtedly done it so often that if some fool really did choke, he'd die because the guards would think he was faking.” Suddenly she sat up. “So what if I am faking? I just need to keep it up. Sooner or later they'll wonder if I'm dead. And when they do, I'll scorch them like I did Talamh Coille. This might even be fun!”

  “Hey Dung Beetle!” she barked. “I'll take your rotten food now.”

  “What?” said Dung Beetle. “Are you singing to me, witch?”

  “I'd rather sing into a gong pit,” she said. “It's cleaner, has better breath and 'way more wit.”

  The other guard laughed out at this, nearly toppling from his empty keg.

  Dung Beetle gave him a resentful look. “Yea?” he said, “Well good for you. The feed's coming by, directly. We'll have them dip out a cup for our dear privy pit lover. We'll even have them fetch it from under the privy itself, just for you sweetheart.”

  “Thanks, handsome,” she said as she went back to her game of staring, and waited for quite some time. At last it arrived. She was very hungry, but saw at once that she would have to be a good deal hungrier if she were actually to eat something like this. She set to work at once, making smacking noises, suddenly changing to choking, hacking and gurgling as she dropped her spoon and tin cup into the straw and toppled onto her side, wheezing and thrashing about, struggling to draw a breath. The moment she knew that she had their undivided attention, she lay dead still.

  “The witch is choking to death!” said Keg Rider.

  “Idiot!” said Dung Beetle. “That's just an act. The minute we open the door, she'll jump up and turn us into toads.”

  “Into what?”

  “See?” said Dung Beetle. “She knows better. She's dead still, now.”

  “Fool!” said Keg Rider, on his feet at once, frantically sorting through his keys.

  “That witch is the queen's sister and Wizard Razzmorten's daughter. What will the king say when he finds out we watched her strangle to death? Fates! Which one's the stinking key?”

  Suddenly the latch clicked and the door swang open. Keg Rider and Dung Beetle stepped inside like two hunters tiptoeing over fallen leaves.

  With no warning at all, Ugleeuh shot to her feet, turning her cell blinding lavender with bolts crackling from each fist into the eyes of the guards until they turned to glowing cinders and tumbled into the straw, setting it alight.

  “Someone will put it out,” she said as she produced her staff and ball beside the leaping flames.

  “What happened?” said Hubba Hubba at the sight of her, as he took flight from the shelves of the open cupboard and swooped to his perch.

  “The house!” cried Ugleeuh. “You've dumped every drawer and gotten into everything.”

  “Not the larder,” rattled Hubba Hubba. “What did you do, forget and come home?”

  “You make me sorry I did!” she shouted.

  Hubba Hubba turned directly about on his perch with a hop and held his beak in the air.

  Ugleeuh stumped right over to him. “Damn you!” she screamed.

  Hubba Hubba stayed right where he was, but she could see that he was panting in rigid terror.

  “Oh dearest!” she said as she
tried to give him a scratch, “I'm so, so sorry.”

  Hubba Hubba popped his beak at her and hopped down the perch. When she tried again, he hopped a quick about face, turning his back on her.

  “Oh dearest,” she said. “Please forgive me. I'm just not myself. I'm starving and miserable, too. Let me make something gooey with sukere and we can fill our bellies together.”

  Hubba Hubba said nothing and kept his back to her.

  She studied him for a moment and began making cherry cobbler, speeding up everything with her staff. Even so, it was quite a while before the cobbler was ready. When it was done, Hubba Hubba had not yet uttered a sound, making her very anxious indeed.

  “Here we are, dearest,” she said as she set everything on the table. Let's eat.” She had a seat.

  Hubba Hubba sat right where he was.

  “Well? I'm eating.”

  This was too much for him to resist, as hungry as he was, so he left his perch, and with a couple of pumps of his wings, glided to the table. Soon he was eating, but had nothing to say.

  Ugleeuh had never seen him silent for so long. “How does it taste, dearest?”

  “What took you so long?” he rattled, making certain that his back was turned toward her.

  “I've been in Niarg,” she said in a tone he had never heard before.

  He smacked his beak and looked up. “And?”

  “In the dungeon at Niarg Castle.”

  “Dungeon! The stinking king and queen locked you up?”

  Ughleeuh nodded.

  “But why?”

  “They were afraid I might change people's minds about sukere.”

  “But isn't the queen your sister?”

  “Half sister.”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Make them pay, of course.”

  “Good,” said Hubba Hubba, gobbling down another beak full.

  “You say that dearest, but do you realize that I'll have to go back to Niarg to do such a thing?”

  “It's a matter of honor,” he said with a smack of his gooey beak. “Just leave some food this time, will ye? And maybe the larder door open, just to be safe.”

  “Dearest, I think I'll stay with you for a few days before I go back. I need time to get my strength back, and in spite of what you say, I've missed you terribly. Minny-Min and Hebraun will still be there, celebrating having gotten rid of me. Besides, I need a little time to figure out the best way to make them pay for all the horrible things they've put me through.”

  ***

  The fresh smell of rain surged through the throne room, sending ripples along the great banners, as their rods clacked against the wall. Razzmorten, Minuet and Hebraun stopped talking as the room turned pink, making them jump with a ferocious crash of thunder. It began raining much harder.

  “Here comes Karlton, now,” said Razzmorten, shifting about on his stool.

  Captain Strong removed his helm and gave an abbreviated bow.

  “You're soaked,” said Hebraun.

  “I should have dried off,” said Strong. “You want me off your carpets?”

  Minuet and Hebraun shook their heads and smiled at the same time. “What did you find?” said Hebraun.

  “We've combed everywhere,” he said, stepping back from the wet spots where he had just been standing. We've been over every foot of the castle, inside the outer curtain. And we've been all over Niarg town. She's gone.”

  “Was there any particular damage in the dungeon?” said Hebraun, casting his eyes aloft at another nearby crash of thunder.

  “The straw was burnt to ashes in half the cells before they got the fire put out. And you won't have to bother with convening the Bench for the pickpocket. He burnt up. And we're getting more certain all the time that the ashes in Mistress Dewin's cell are her guards.”

  “I haven't figured out how she did it,” said Razzmorten as he smoothed the dents out of his hat. “She undoubtedly incinerated her guards, causing the fire. I wasn't aware that she could do that with her bare hands, but I have no idea what she learnt to do in the five years I never saw her. But her vanishing clean away must have required her scrying ball and her staff. She might have had them hidden in the dining hall.”

  “Uncle Razzorbauch taught her that in our parlour at Peach Knob, when the plague was in full force,” said Minuet as she drew tight a fresh piece of linen between two embroidery hoops.

  “Well, she's gotten right good at it, I'm afraid,” said Razzmorten. “And it's urgent that we figure out where she's gone. I can only think of two places, either Demonica's or Razzorbach's keep.”

  “Will you try to scry to find out, Father?”

  “Yeap,” he said, standing up at once. “I'm off to my tower. I'll be back immediately when I find something. I can see that she's gotten powerful enough that this is most urgent.”

  Outside the throne room Razzmorten stepped into the shadows with his staff and produced his scrying ball. With a few mumbled words, he appeared in his tower library with Fifi barking and dashing in circles around his feet. He quieted her at once and sat before his ball at the table. “Demonica and Razzorbauch would both have strong wards against scrying their keeps,” he said as the wind slammed shut one of the shutters. “His would be gone, of course.” He studied his ball for quite a spell. “I can't see anything on top of her rock at Head. Now let's see... I can see everyone of his hired help. They're going to wonder where their pay is, one of these days. Nope. No Leeuh.”

  He leant back in his chair with his hands behind his head, studying the cobwebs overhead. “Now let's see. Meri Greenwood made it sound like Razzorbauch took over every bit of the Forest Primeval. That's quite a bit of territory. Chokewoods, I think they're starting to call it. Maybe she's off in another part of it.”

  Suddenly he shot to his feet, knocking his chair onto its back. “Got her!” He grabbed up his ball and looked for the dark corner outside the throne room and began mumbling, leaving Fifi in the library by herself, barking. He stepped around the corner into the throne room and quietly walked up the carpet, mindful that Hebraun and Minuet were discussing something.

  “I know you swore never to use your powers for as long as you're on the throne,” said Hebraun as he took up her hand, “but you surely realize I'd never have asked you to make such a vow. And you surely know that you could break your vow anytime without looking bad to me.”

  “To be ready for Ugleeuh?” she said, setting aside her embroidery hoop. “I think I'll keep my vow. I'll not only never worry the people of Niarg over my resemblance to Leeuh, I'll not be suffering from the nightmare of antesight. That alone is worth keeping my vow. Should my evil sister steal away all of my peace of mind?”

  “Of course not, love,” he said as he raised her hand to his cheek. “I shall say no more. I just want you to know that either way, you'll always have my support.”

  “I always knew that,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek. Suddenly she looked up. “How long have you been standing there, Father?”

  Razzmorten shook his head with a wave of his hand. “I've found Leeuh,” he said. “She's 'way off by herself in a wee cottage in Razzorbauch's Chokewoods with a crow. She must've gone the whole way and gotten herself a witch's familiar. But with her lifelong enchantment with grandeur, I can't imagine her cabin.”

  “Can you set wards around the cabin to keep her there, Father?”

  “Yea, But she'd starve to death. She needs more territory than that. She'll have to be there for the rest of her life, don't you know, or else we'll have to kill her.”

  “I think having to help strike down Razzorbauch was quite enough punishment for you,” said Hebraun. “Can you cast enough wards to take in all of Razzorbauch's lands? That ought to do it.”

  “I'll be drained for some time to come, but I can do it,” he said with a look of grateful relief. “But that kind of spell would only hold Leeuh within the Chokewoods. Anyone else could come and go as they pleased.”

  “Well, Ughlee
uh's the only one we're worried about,” said Hebraun.

  “And we need to worry,” said Razzmorten. “If I don't go to the Chokewoods right now, she could kill both of you before I get back.”

  “Then go,” said Hebraun and Minuet at once.

  Razzmorten produced his scrying ball where he stood and recited his spell, winking out before their eyes. He steadied himself under a canopy of gnarled and twisted choke oaks, just out of sight of Ugleeuh's cottage. “I'll set temporary wards to hold her here while I cast the permanent ones around the whole forest,” he said. By evening he knew that Ugleeuh would never leave the Chokewood Forest, and with the very last of his strength, he returned to his tower, ate a hearty meal of mutton stew and brown bread and tumbled into bed for a day and a night.

  He awoke hungry enough to stuff himself on cold stew and bread and went to find Hebraun and Minuet. When Bethan opened the door, Rose raced up and threw her arms around his legs. “Grandfather!” she cried with a wide-eyed bounce. He smiled down at the precious child and nodded at Hebraun and Minuet in answer to the look in their eyes.

  ***

  “I shall not be long dearest,” said Ugleeuh as she stood by Hubba Hubba's perch with her scrying ball and dainty staff. “I'll be back the very moment I'm done with King No-No and Queen Too-Too.” She recited her traveling spell and waited. With an irritated flash of her eyes, she recited it again. Nothing. She blinked in shock and looked at Hubba Hubba.

  “Did you forget something?” he said -with his own look of surprise.

  A searing rush of fear swept through Ugleeuh. She stumped to the corner of the room and grabbed up the Great Staff, still disguised as a broom.

  “You've decided to stay here and sweep?” said Hubba Hubba.

  “No!”

  Hubba Hubba opened all of his feathers as he drew a breath and quickly smoothed them flat.

  Out she went with the broom, slamming the door behind her. She set the broom to hover in the air, threw her leg over it and sat. “Take me to Castle Niarg,” she said. “Now.” And with that, she and the broom shot away over the treetops, making her reel with prickles under her scalp. Slowly she worked up the nerve to look down to see the treetops flying away into the distance behind her as the strangely chilled air roared by her ears. “Shit fire!” she cried, bouncing on the broom. “Wooo-Hooo!”