All Right Now

by Madelynne Ellis

  Ash didn’t realise what she was sitting on, but she did. Her bastard ex had just had Ash served with papers regarding their divorce proceedings. Unnecessarily, she might add. The only reason to involve Ash was spite. She’d reclaimed her independence and emancipated herself from Miles long before she ever met Ash. But then Miles was exactly the sort to employ this sort of tit for tat bullshit. She couldn’t believe he’d done it on Christmas Eve though. Of all the possible times to choose—the fucking rat bastard. He just had to go and insert himself into their moment of happiness.

  It galled her that he had that power to ruin everything.

  “Are you okay, Gin? You’re awful quiet,” Ash squeezed her hand.

  “Fine,” she offered him a smile, and prayed he didn’t notice the disquiet in her eyes.

  There was no hiding and hoping it would all blow over any more. She’d have to tell him.

  As soon as they were alone… No more secrets. No more pretence. No more excuses why staying silent was better. She’d have to explain everything and pray that somehow he understood.

  The ring blurred as her eyes became hazy with tears. She rapidly blinked them away. No use crying over it. She was the one who’d created this mess, and now she was going to have to be an adult and deal with it.

  “This is us.” The car pulled up in a quiet suburban street of dormer bungalows. While the security guy helped retrieve their overnight bags from the boot, Rock Giant gave them both farewell hugs. “Don’t let him say that’s your Christmas present,” he counselled her. “You give him hell if there’s nothing in your stocking tomorrow.”

  “What are you saying?” Ash threw a frown in their direction.

  “Nothing. Say ‘Hey’ to your mum from me.”

  “Will do. Sure you don’t want to stop for a drink?”

  “No. I’m not going to intrude, and I’ve a destination of my own to reach.”

  “Hope you get something else with your mushrooms for dinner tomorrow.”

  Rock Giant cackled with amusement. “Truffles, probably, and a shit load of weed.”

  Ginny wasn’t a hundred per cent sure Paul’s family even celebrated Christmas. From what she knew of them, they more likely observed Yule in their decidedly not centrally heated tepee cum yurt.

  Rock Giant waved at them through the window as the car pulled off, leaving them alone on the pavement. There was no snow, but a lick of frost dusted the tarmac and had left a white rime on the front lawn and bedding plants.

  Ash walked her up the path to the house with his arm around her shoulders. Ginny could feel the thrum of his excitement vibrating through his skin. The first words he’d blurt out the moment that door opened would be their good news.

  She didn’t blame him, in other circumstances, she’d have been happy to blurt their news too. Well, if she ignored her less than stellar experiences of marriage.

  “Could we hold off on telling them?” she asked as he reached up to press the doorbell.

  Ash turned to her clearly flummoxed. “Why? I mean, how come you don’t want them to know?”

  “It’s not that I don’t want them to know.” It sort of was. She did want a future with Ash, and having to explain her sorry situation and how she’d kept things from him after he’d loudly proclaimed his engagement to his parents was only going to make things even more difficult than they already were.

  “I just think it might be fun to wait until tomorrow to give them that present. It’d be nice to be introduced before everything goes crazy. Don’t you think it would be fun to announce it tomorrow? It’d be like an extra special gift.”

  Fuck, she was digging herself deeper holes the longer this went on.

  Ash nipped a fingernail between his teeth. “They’ll be pleased whenever we tell them. Do you really not want to tell them now? Mam’s gonna notice that ring.”

  Ginny slipped it off her left hand and moved it over to her right. “It’s only so she doesn’t guess,” she assured him. “I’m not giving it back.”

  His mile-wide smile receded a little, and the centre of his brows wrinkled. “What about if we told them right after midnight?”

  “Maybe—I still think over breakfast tomorrow would be better.” She was banking on the knowledge that breakfast was Ash’s favourite meal to buy her some time.

  “I guess that could work too, but you know I want to tell everyone right now, and I’d like the chance to tell them in person, before they find out via the news. People are bound to have recorded us and uploaded the clips to social media by now.”

  Oh, Christ! She hadn’t even considered the fan factor yet. “Do your folks spend much time online?”

  Ash shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of, and they mostly try to avoid mentions of me, as anything negative gets them riled up for days. Hey, it’s a bit odd that the lights aren’t on.” And indeed, that there’d been no response to his pressing the doorbell. “My Mam really likes her Christmas lights. Sure enough, now that he’d drawn her attention to it, the Christmas icicle lights strung across the front of the property weren’t flickering like those on the neighbouring houses, and there didn’t seem to be any lights on inside the house either, not even from the flicker of a television.

  “You did let them know we were coming?”

  Ash gave her the look, asserting he wasn’t a total idiot. “Of course, they know we’re coming. Missing Christmas dinner without a bloody good excuse would result in them disowning me.”

  “But you did tell them we were arriving tonight.”

  “Mam totally insisted on it. She wouldn’t hear of us spending Christmas Eve in a hotel. She’s determined to have us here as long as possible.”

  That may well have been the impression she’d given Ash on the phone, but something was definitely up with the plans. “Is it likely that they’re out somewhere, or they’ve gone to bed?”

  He gave her another look that said, not fucking likely. “Maybe they just didn’t hear the bell. It could be on the blink.” He tried knocking instead.

  To Ginny’s astonishment, the door opened almost immediately, revealing a tiny slip of a woman in a sparkly woollen dress and wellington boots. Her snow white hair was pulled into a messy bun at the back of her head. “Ashley!” She reached out to him immediately, dragging him across the threshold as she entwined her arms around his neck. “Heaven’s above what have they done to your hair. I almost didn’t recognise you.” She ruffled her hand over the longer parts and tutted over the soft spikes where his collision with the stone hearth had resulted in a run in with a razor and multiple stitches.

  “Mam, this is—”

  “Ginny. This is Ginny?” she hesitated until he gave a nod. Then Ginny too was wrapped in a whole body encompassing hug. “I can’t believe he’s left it this long to introduce you. You’ve been in the country for weeks, I’m sure you could have found time to nip over.”

  “We’ve been in Wales, mam.”

  “Aye, as you say. Now watch your step, the both of you. I’m afraid the electric’s off, so there’s no home comforts. Yer Dad’s in the kitchen looking into it.” She led the way along the narrow entrance hall, which was decked with tinsel, and hundreds of cards that were strung from every available point.

  “What’s up with the electric?” Ash asked

  “Nothing. It’s just for safety. We’ve a leak. Not sure where from. I thought it was the washing machine to start with seeing as how it’s been on the blink for ages. It keeps making noises like a jumbo jet, but of course your dad’s not had the time to fix it yet, and he won’t hear of getting one of those young lads in. Anyhow, that’s not it. It’s dry as a bone. I think it could be one of the connector things has come loose. There’s one behind the cupboards that splits the pipe before it flows into the washing machine and dishwasher, but Dad says it’s most likely a burst, as the pipes are old.

  “Should I go and help?”

  “Aye, if you don’t mind. Though I shouldn’t send you right in there when you’ve just got here.�
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  “It’s fine, mam. Have you turned the water off yet?”

  “He was having a bit of trouble with the main valve.”

  Ash handed his mother his jacket. “Right, I’m going to help.”

  While Ash headed into the kitchen, Ginny found herself diverted into the lounge. It was a long through room with windows at each end overlooking the street and garden. A real Christmas tree dominated one of the middle alcoves, and two smaller LED style trees were positioned in both windows. “I’d offer you a hot drink, love, but with the electric off…”

  “It’s okay, Mrs. Gore.”

  “We’ll have a sherry and mince pies instead.”

  “Only if it’s no trouble.” She didn’t particularly want either. She needed to get Ash alone so that she could talk to him. The only reason she’d delayed this long was down to Rock Giant sharing their car. Ginny’s gaze alighted on the woman’s choice of footwear again. “Is the burst bad?” she asked as she was guided into an armchair. Mrs. Gore didn’t sit. She fussed. That probably explained why she was so twig-like.

  “We’re not at the swimming pool stage yet, thank heavens, but it’s an inconvenience to be sure. It’s knocked all my timings off. I like to put the turkey in to slow cook over night. And I was hoping to get the veggies done and ready in their pans to turn on after breakfast.

  “Maybe we should go and help.”

  “Oh no, dear. You don’t need to be doing that. You’re our guest. Stop and tell me a bit about yourself. I expect you know plenty about us, but Ashley’s been a bit lax on the details about you. I don’t even know how you met and ended up together.”

  The exact details of those events weren’t for polite conversation. “At one of his gigs.”

  “Aw, you’re a fan of his music, then?”

  “My housemate is. She’s a huge fan. I like them too, but she’s how I came to be there.”

  “I suppose you did one of those meet and greet things, did you?”

  “Mm, kind of… Not exactly. We sort of bumped into one another post-show. They had a few things go wrong that night, and they ended up staying at my hotel.” If her tactful summary implied they just happened to be staying in the same place, and had met in the lift, or the hotel bar, then that was purely down to the listener’s interpretation not a reflection of real events. The truth, that she’d gate-crashed Black Halo’s dressing room looking to score herself some hot action, and had actually invited three members of the band back to her room for the night, wasn’t really the sort of introduction likely to endear you to the woman set to be your future mother-in-law.

  “Sarah! I think you’d best fetch some extra towels, love.”

  “Dad, will you give me that wrench?”

  “No need, I have it sorted now.”

  “Dad, that isn’t the main stop tap for the water.”

  “It’s the one I always use for the washer.”

  Ginny followed Mrs. Gore out of the lounge to the kitchen, where Ash and his Dad were knelt in a good five inches of water.

  “Thank God we have a wonky floor,” Mrs. Gore sighed, “or the whole of downstairs would be flooded. I’ll get those towels. Bobby, give our son the wrench.” She left Ginny in the doorway and bustled off upstairs. A moment later, a very wet-looking Mr. Gore waded his way to the dry end of the kitchen, and shook Ginny’s hand. “You’ve arrived when we’re in a right pickle. Pleased to meet you. I’m Robert.”

  “Bobby,” Ash muttered under his breath. He had his head wedged under the cupboard beneath the sink, but the effect on his words was one of amplification. “Don’t tell her you’re called Robert when they only call you that at work.”

  “I happen to prefer being Robert, just like you prefer to be lazy and leave off half of your name.” Ash’s dad winked at her.

  “Ashley makes everyone think of floral dresses. Ash suits me and the persona of the band more.”

  “Yeah, well you’re never going to get your mam to address you that way.” He gave Ginny another once over. He was around Ash’s height and build, but with salt and pepper hair and similarly coloured stubble peppering his jaw, that had probably grown through since his second shave of the day. “Think you can keep an eye on him, make sure he doesn’t injure himself while I take a loo break?”

  “Reckon so,” Ginny agreed.

  As soon as Bobby had made his exit toward the bathroom, Ginny slipped off her shoes and waded across the kitchen to reach Ash. She leaned against the door of the double cupboard he was working within. “Ash, do you think you could give me a minute? I really need to talk to you.”

  “Can’t it wait a sec, I kind of have my hands full right now.”

  “I realise that, but this is something we really need to discuss, preferably before your parents get back.”

  He stuck his head out from the cupboard and looked up at her. “What’s up? You’re not preggers, are you? That might be more news than they can handle in one go.”

  Although, not apparently more than he could handle, considering he didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned that she might be on the verge of revealing such a life-changing fact. If anything, the kooky grin he’d been sporting ever since she’d walked out on stage and let him slip that giant heart-shaped proclamation on her finger had grown extra wide.

  “You’re not actually going to say that, are you?”

  He gave the wrench another twist, and finally the flow of water stopped. Major issue dealt with, Ash sat back on his haunches. “Are you going to clue me in?”

  Nervously, Ginny fingered the ring currently on her right hand.

  Ash’s gaze tracked the movement and his expression instantly crumpled. “You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

  “Are you?”

  His relief at her assurance, didn’t quite restore his smile to his eyes.

  “But it is kind of related… The thing is, it’s only been eight…nine months. We really still don’t know one another that well.”

  “I know everything I need to.”

  She raised her hands in distress and to silence him. Then got down on her knees in the pond so that their heads were on a level.

  “That’s the thing, though, Ash. You don’t. You barely know me at all. There are things about me, important things that no one knows. Not you, not any member of your band, not even Dani.” She swallowed hard, desperately trying to clear her throat to keep on talking. “I never deliberately set out to deceive you. There’s just…” There was just no fucking easy way of saying this. No way to make it make any kind of sense for him. Now that she was forced into revealing it, it didn’t even make sense to her why she hadn’t told him the truth right from the start. After all, what would he have done with that knowledge? Sold her out to Miles? Yelled, “Here she is. Your wayward missus is over here, better come and collect her.” No, of course not. He’d have used the information to make an informed decision about whether the two of them dating was really a good idea. She’d stolen the opportunity from him to make that decision.

  “Ginny? Whatever it is, you know it’s going to make no—”

  She pressed her index finger to his mouth ahead of him saying something he might want to take back a few seconds later. “I want you to know that I do love you. You’re absolutely the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and that I am so honoured you chose me, and asked me to become your wife. I want that so much.”

  She did, she realised as she spoke. She really did. However bad her impression of marriage was, based on her experiences with Miles, she was absolutely prepared to give it a go with Ash.

  Ash was nothing like Miles.

  Nothing at all like him.

  “The thing is, much as I want it. I can’t do it right away.” Her voice was so thick with emotion now, she was struggling to make herself heard. “I’m not free to get married.”

  Ash’s brows furrowed into deep grooves. “What are you saying? How are you not free? Are you saying that someone is going to pop up and say it’s not allowed?�
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  She nodded, whereupon his confusion transformed to anger. “No one gets to dictate what you do, Ginny. If there’s someone threatening you…”

  “No one’s threatening me exactly.” Ginny scraped her teeth over her lower lip. The sound of his parents’ footsteps drumming upon the stairs told her she had seconds left. She’d been trying so hard to find the right way to say this, but there was no right way, only a wrong one, and this was the wrongest of the wrong, yet the only way left to her.

  The time for obfuscating was over. She needed to say this now.

  “Ash, I’m already married.”

  ***

  Ash gawped at her. He was tempted to stick his fingers in his ears and wiggle them about until he was sure they were clear, and then get her to repeat what she said, because there was no way he could have heard her correctly.

  She was already married. How could that even be? To whom? How could they have dated for all this time without him having any inkling whatsoever that she was involved with another man?

  “This has to be an alternative universe episode,” he muttered, dropping the wrench into the indoor paddling pool they were both kneeling in. “How can you be? We’ve been together nine months, and you’ve been with me all that time.”

  “I left Miles three years ago. I don’t consider him to be my husband any more, but legally…”

  Ash shook his head. “How? Seriously, how? You’re not that old.”

  “I married him at seventeen,” she said. “I did it against my better judgement and suffered for it. That marriage has been over for years, but we never legally separated. I filed for a divorce as soon as I could after I realised how incredibly happy you make me.”