by Remi Grey
She excused herself right before dinner ended after a phone call took her attention away. A few moments afterwards Amelia chased Miranda to the living room while my mom lingered with me in the kitchen.
“You’re a good man, Maddox,” she said. “Your father would be proud of everything you’ve accomplished for yourself...for this family.”
I grimaced and shut my eyes. “Mom, dad...he wasn’t--” I cut myself short and took my mom’s hand, squeezing it ever so slightly. “I just want to make you proud, mom.”
“Oh, well, you make me proud every day, Maddox,” she said as though it should be a well-known fact. She smiled up at me as I pulled her into me. I could hear noise coming from the backyard where Nicki had slipped out to. Her pacing back and forth made her visible through the clear doors.
“I love you,” I assured her.
“I love you, too,” she repeated as we parted. “I’m going to go spend some time with your sister and that little cutie. Been so long since you guys have been that small.” With that she turned the corner and disappeared along with the others.
I couldn’t help but move toward the back when I heard silence. I pulled open the door, at first hesitant to intrude, then when I saw Nicki slumped on the bench outside with her head down it only felt right to sit next to her. “Are you okay?”
She jerked up in shock to see me. “Oh, um, yeah,” she said.
“Are you sure?”
Something in her eyes shifted then she solemnly added, “No.” She turned away from me out toward the backyard before saying, “My ex, Amelia’s father, is trying to get his privileges back after he lost them a long time ago.” She pulled her lips into a tight ironic smile.
“It’s just...ever since I got pregnant it’s just been me and her. And now he’s trying to force himself into something I know he won’t be able to stick with. If this is some kind of weird New Year's resolution thing, you know, like, ‘I’m going to be a dad for once,’ ‘I’m going to take responsibility for once,’ I beg of him to leave my daughter out of it. She’s just so happy. I don’t want to take that away from her if he chooses to not be in her life again. You know?”
“Trust me, I know,” I said. “Sometimes, I wish my mom could’ve had the same mindset.”
She turned to me with her eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“I love my mom and she loves my dad. Loved. He passed away a few years ago. The thing is she could never see how little he really did. Sure, he paid the bills and got me into football when I was a kid, but he was never really there. Emotionally. It sucks because in high school that’s when I started fooling around with girls and it never really stopped if I’m honest until now.”
I saw Nicki’s facial expression change. It was softer.
“I know you’ll make the right decision. You’re a good mother like that. Amelia’s really lucky,” I added.
She leaned into me and kissed me. I moved my hand to her waist and pulled her in, letting our lips dance together as my tongue swiped against hers. We both pulled away from each other unwillingly. “Please don’t be like him,” she said. I didn’t ask if she was referring to her ex or my dad. “Be you. I like you.”
“Okay,” I said. Then, I leaned into her again, kissing her softly on the lips and savoring every part of her. There was a knock on the door that forced us apart. We both rose and moved back inside to the living room. Standing at the entrance were two police officers. Behind him stood another man.
“Is Nicole Robbins here?” one of them asked.
Nicki moved forward and said, “I’m Nicki. Is there a problem officers?”
“There was a call made about your daughter by Holden Brown.” Nicki clenched her teeth when she recognized the figure trailing by the police officers. “You are aware that his visitation rights were granted about two days ago. Amelia Brown is supposed to be in the custody of her father tonight.” Nicki sunk just as Amelia ran up to her.
“What’s going on, mommy?”
“Hey, honey,” Holden said to her.
Amelia looked up at the man and huddled even closer to her mother as if she didn’t recognize him.
“Come on. We’ve got to go,” he said.
“Mommy?” Amelia questioned looking up at her mother who pulled her in even tighter.
“Don’t make this harder on her, Nicki,” Holden said through tight lips.
I saw Nicki crumble before me. “You’re the one making this hard,” I said stepping up in front of her. “You come into my house and demand a daughter who doesn’t even know you. Some father,” I scoffed.
“So, you play daddy for every woman you’re screwing?” Holden taunted. I clenched my teeth but withheld the urge to swing at him. I couldn’t do that in front of Amelia.
“Officers, this child is safe with her mother right now,” I said, prompting both of them to turn to Amelia who now had her arms wrapped around Nicki’s leg. “Unfortunately, it’s a Saturday, but to take her away in the middle of our dinner so you can spite her mother...it’s not only irresponsible but unfair to Amelia. Tomorrow,” I said turning to Holden, “you can talk to Nicki about seeing your daughter.”
The officers turned to Holden awaiting directions. He sighed annoyed then said, “Tomorrow or you’ll be hearing from my lawyer, Nicki.”
Chapter 6
Nicki
On Sunday, Amelia kicked and screamed when Holden came to pick her up. I withheld my urge to cry until he was gone. Later, Olivia came by with pizza and wine—our thing—but even that couldn’t cheer me up.
“I’m sorry about Holden, Nicks,” Olivia said when she realized how down I was. I nodded and took a long sip of the wine. “Am I wrong, though?”
“Wrong how?”
“For keeping Holden away from Amelia? What if...what if this time it’s legit? She has a right to see her father.”
“It’s Holden, Nicki. You know how he is.”
“I know. I just wonder sometimes if I’m doing the right thing.”
“You are. Do you remember what you said the last time Holden left Amelia’s life?”
I shook my head.
“You said, ‘Liv, believing he’s going to change hurts both me and Melly. He’s never going to.’ There’s nothing wrong with trying to protect your daughter. Got it?” I nodded.
**********
Amelia ran up to me and hugged me. She had cotton candy in her hand and when she laughed you could see how blue her tongue had gotten. Holden came up from behind her with a smile on his face.
“Mommy, look what daddy got me!” She raised her treat high for me to see.
“I see it, love. Now, go and get changed up for dinner, okay?” Amelia ran past me and toward her room, leaving Holden and I alone in the living room.
“She had fun today. See, I’m not so bad.”
“Yeah, okay,” I said prepared to end this conversation.
“Weekends are Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, Nicki,” Holden added with a serious face.
I bit down on the words I wanted to shoot at him and then said, “I will see you then,” as politely as I could. Once he was out of my apartment, with the joyful chatter of Amelia in the distance, I couldn’t help but get sad again.
**********
I knocked on the door of Maddox’s house. After a few raps that yielded no response, I turned down to my phone and texted him. Dropped in at your place, wanted to see you, I wrote. Sure, I could’ve texted him first, but I had been in the neighborhood and wanted to see him face to face to thank him for stepping up for Amelia and I the night before.
Not home sorryyy, he wrote back.
Disappointed, I prepared to turn away but froze when I saw movement in the window. The blinds allowed for only a small slit to reveal those inside but the silhouettes were enough for me to see Maddox across from another woman.
My heart dropped when I saw how close they were. The way they spoke to each other, the woman placing her hand on his arm and caressing it softly, made my blood boil.
When I saw her lean into him, all I could see was red.
I banged on the door. He was going to answer today. There was no noise on the other end and then suddenly the door pulled open slightly to reveal a woman. She gave me a pleasant smile that contrasted the snarl playing on my lips. I pushed past her and saw Maddox.
“Not home, huh?” I sneered in anger. “I cannot believe you!” Without permission, the anger got swept away with disappointment and pain.
“I cannot believe you would lie to me after everything I told you--after everything you told me!”
“Wait, Nicki, I can explain. I swear—"
“You’re exactly who I thought you were. You’re just like Holden. You lied to me. You said I used you?” I scoffed. “You used me. But I guess that’s my fault for trusting someone who only knows how to think with their dick.”
With that I turned away from him feeling the tears streaming down my face.
Chapter 7
Maddox
Rachel sat down across from me at the dining table in my house. Her black hair was slicked into a low bun while her glasses adorned the tip of her nose. She looked up from me at the papers arranged neatly in front of her and peeked up at me, her bright blue eyes lingering over mine. She slid up her glasses over her head and sat up.
“You must really like this girl if you’re doing all of this. Hiring me as your lawyer and whatnot. I’m not cheap, you know.” She laughed and placed her hand on mine. I flinched but hoped she didn’t notice.
“I don’t want for Nicki to ever be in a position where that man can just pop up and take her child away,” I said.
“Well, it is his child, too,” she said matter-of-factly, “But I like the way you think, Maddox. When I’m done with him, it’ll basically be like it isn’t.” She smiled smugly.
I stood up and made my way to the window, sighing. I could feel Rachel following close behind.
“Are you sure this will work? He’ll have an option to see Amelia at least, right?” I asked.
“Yeah, he just won’t be able to legally drag a police officer behind him and take Amelia from Nicki.”
I nodded. “Good.” A knock on the door got my attention followed by my phone buzzing. “It’s Nicki. She wants to know if I’m home.” I sighed and contemplated what to say. Before I could, Rachel reached her hand out and gestured for it. I didn’t know what else to do so I handed it to her.
“Okay, done,” she said after typing and handing it back to me.
I reread the messages and frowned. I hated blatantly lying to her. Rachel sensed my hesitation and placed her hand on my arm, stroking it lightly. I looked down at it and then ran my hand through my hair which shifted her off of me.
“Listen, Maddox, your little girlfriend is gone now. You know I’m the only one who can make sure her ex leaves her alone. I’m good like that, but now it’s time for you to show me what you’re good at…” she said as she leaned into me.
“Rachel!” I said pulling away from her before she could kiss me. There was a banging on the door.
“Why are you acting like some sort of gentleman all of a sudden?” she asked entertained as she moved toward the door. “I miss the old you.”
“What?” My heart sank. I thought I could be proud of who I was becoming only for someone to throw it back in my face.
In the blink of an eye, Nicki was charging at me.
“Not home, huh?” she sneered in anger. “I cannot believe you! I cannot believe you would lie to me after everything I told you—after everything you told me!”
“Wait, Nicki, I can explain. I swear—" I tried.
“You’re exactly who I thought you were. You’re just like Holden. You lied to me. You said I used you?” she scoffed. “You used me. But I guess that’s my fault for trusting someone who only knows how to think with their dick.”
She flew out leaving me with a punch in my gut, feeling like I was floating in my own body. Miranda could see me as a player; Rachel could see me as a player; but for Nicki to look me in the eye and claim that I really hadn’t changed at all—that I had been the same all along...it felt like a million knives and I was bleeding out.
Chapter 8
Nicki
“So, we hate Maddox now,” Olivia said simply after I had come home with my tears still drying on my cheeks.
“No, Liv, I don’t want to hate him. I just want to be done,” I replied flipping through my magazine.
Amelia was in the living room watching the game. “He got it! And he’s running and he’s running!” She turned to me, “Mommy, come watch! It’s Maddox. He really is on TV. He wasn’t lying.” She started giggling as she pressed her nose to the screen.
The irony made Olivia and I shoot a glance at her. Nevertheless, Olivia took my spot and watched with Amelia. “Livy, do you see how fast he is? He’s like superman!”
“I know, baby,” Olivia said laughing. She mumbled to me, “I guess you could say other women are his Kryptonite.”
“What?” Amelia questioned.
“Nothing, Amelia,” Olivia said with a smile.
“Mommy, when is Maddox coming over again?”
“I don’t know, Melly. I’ll have to call him,” I said full well knowing me and him were done. “But it might be a while. He gets really busy.”
“He told me we’d have a tea party though.”
“Baby,” I said getting slightly flustered. “I’ll have a tea party with you. Me and Olivia.”
“No, mommy, you don’t do it right!” Amelia was starting to get annoyed too.
“Alright, Mel,” Olivia said in the attempts to calm her down. “You’ll have to show us how to do it.”
“Mommy, look!”
“I’m busy, sweetheart.”
“He’s doing it! He’s doing it!” Amelia ran up to the television and put her hand up on the screen. I couldn’t ignore it now so I snuck a glance at what she was referring to. Maddox had his hand up to the camera like he was reaching for a high five. “He promised and look!” Amelia stared up at him entranced. Then she fell back and started giggling.
“Maddox said that he never breaks a promise, mommy.”
I made a face at Olivia, but neither of us said anything.
**********
“Congratulations,” Kathy said when I showed up to her office. “You have full custody. Again. This time a lawyer managed to argue how poor of a father Holden is so I don’t think he’ll have much chance trying to get Amelia next time.”
“What are you talking about?” I said settling down in the seat before the conference room table. “And where is Holden?”
“He’s…”
“I’m right here.” The door pushed open and revealed Holden with a man trailing behind him. “I apologize for my tardiness.”
“It was expected,” I said with a smile.
He made a face but said nothing.
“As I was saying, unfortunately the court didn’t approve your weekend visitations,” Kathy explained.
“I have a lawyer here that would say otherwise,” Holden said gesturing to the old man.
“Right, I think Ms. Robbins should be concerned another party is speaking in part for her without her knowledge. It’s borderline bribery the means in which counsel is being provided.”
“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again--what are you talking about?” I questioned.
“Rachel Rivera--her reputation not being the finest--has been seen with football player Maddox Coleman. We all know his reputation,” Holden’s lawyer argued.
As much as Maddox had upset me, I still felt annoyed with the assumptions of the lawyer.
“Leave Maddox out of this,” I ordered.
“How can we he got one of the slimiest lawyers in this city to do his dirty work?” Holden said.
“Slimy?”
“Don’t play dumb, Nicki. You got your newest fling to pay for counsel so you could keep Amelia away from me. Counsel who is known to sleep around with her clients. I guess it’s
her inspiration to put her mouth to work for a lack of better words…”
“Holden, please don’t try me today,” I growled.
The door swung open and in walked a dark-haired woman. I recognized her from that night at Maddox’s and instantly tensed up.
“Walter, if you could control your client. I don’t think misogyny would hold up well for him in the court considering he wants his daughter back,” she said moving to my side. “After all, our judge is really big on female empowerment.” She smiled smugly at Holden and his lawyer then turned to me.
