Game Plan

by Camellia Tate

Connor shook Payton’s hand, smiling between her and Edgar. “Connor plays for the Howlers,” Edgar explained, making Payton give an ‘oh’ of understanding while Connor laughed.

  “I take it you’re not as much of a fan?” he asked her, and Payton shook her head.

  “It all seems a bit aggressive,” she responded, with no apology in her tone. “Besides, Edgar has plenty of friends to watch hockey with.” Connor looked thoughtful, but he made no attempt to argue that hockey wasn’t aggressive.

  “Were you studying PR as well?” Connor asked.

  “Oh, no,” Payton shook her head. “English Lit, much less... exciting?” There she gave Ashley a teasing grin, though, really, Ashley did think English Lit was less exciting. “So...” Payton began and Ashley saw her eyes move down to Ashley’s arm where the short sleeves of her shirt revealed her soulmark.

  Edgar’s eyes also fell on Ashley’s arm but unlike Payton, Ashley doubted he’d seen her soulmark before. “Oh! Are you soulmates? That’s great! Congratulations!” He wished in that way that people always did even though Ashley was very dubious all matches always were soulmates.

  Connor grinned, though Ashley had known him long enough know to recognize that it was his for-the-camera smile. “Yeah, we met a few months ago,” he confirmed. “We’d been kind of keeping it quiet because it was so new, but now we feel surer of each other, we’re excited to talk about it.”

  Payton, who’d heard Ashley’s opinion on soulmarks before, looked dubious. “Both of you are excited?” she asked.

  “Of course,” Connor agreed. “It’s not something you really expect to just happen out of the blue, but when it does -” He shrugged one broad shoulder, which still happened to be stained with bright red jam. “It feels different than other relationships.”

  Ashley knew precisely why Payton’s eyes widened at that. Payton had sat through multiple rants from Ashley about how soulmates just didn’t matter , how their sheer existence was creating unhappy people. So to have someone tell her how happy Ashley was now that she’d found a soulmate was... not at all what Ashley was like .

  Except she couldn’t object, because objecting would mean blowing their whole fake-dating thing wide open. Ashley liked Payton but she wasn’t sure she trusted her enough, and she certainly didn’t know Edgar well enough to trust him. Not to mention that they were in a public place, anyone could overhear them.

  So, Ashley realized, her heart sinking a little bit, she had no option but to go along with Connor’s claims. “Yeah,” was about as much as Ashley could muster but Payton didn’t let it go.

  “So you have found your soulmate?” She challenged and Ashley hesitated. She didn’t want to say ‘yes’, but what choice did she really have?

  “Yeah,” she said, feeling almost cold at the lie. It had been easy so far, easy to lie to people Ashley didn’t know, but she knew Payton.

  “But you told Libby that she couldn’t have met her soulmate just because her name matched Anton’s.” And, oh yeah, Ashley remembered that. Albeit, she had also been right , because Anton had hit Libby but somehow because she wore his name as a soulmark that didn’t matter as much .

  None of that was something Ashley felt like she could say, not without starting a scene and she knew that wouldn’t look good for Connor. “Yes, well...” She didn’t want to say she’d changed her mind, because she hadn’t, but Ashley didn’t know what she could say.

  “It’s not just that our names match,” Connor waded in, perhaps sensing that the silence had stretched on long enough to become awkward. “We’re compatible, too. I didn’t just ask out the first Ashley I happened to meet.”

  “People do,” Payton interrupted, and Connor frowned at her.

  “People do,” he agreed, his voice a touch louder than it needed to be, “but I didn’t. I’ve met other Ashleys, but I didn’t like any of them, so I didn’t ask them out. I wouldn’t have asked them out, even if I’d known they had my name as their soulmark. I asked Ashley out because she’s funny, and she’s smart, and she explains things in a way I understand, without making me feel stupid.”

  It was almost painful to listen to Connor tell Payton why he’d asked Ashley out. It sounded... real. Like he actually meant it, but Ashley knew that Connor hadn’t really asked her out. What he had asked was for her to fake date him so the fans would leave him alone.

  On top of that, having to defend how this was her soulmate when Ashley didn’t really even believe in soulmates was... it just all made Ashley’s head hurt. “We need to get going before wasps find Connor and his jam-covered face,” Ashley said jokingly, though there was an edge to her tone, not that she thought the others noticed.

  “Yes, of course,” Payton nodded and Edgar told Connor again how nice it was to meet him and how much he liked Connor’s game.

  “Nice to see you, we’ll have to get a coffee soon,” Ashley said before they finally could head towards the car. Ashley didn’t really know what to say, thinking over the conversation. She hated that she had to lie but even more so than that, she hated how much she wanted what Connor had said to be true .

  Connor didn’t say anything either, not until they were a safe distance away. Glancing back to make sure they wouldn’t be overheard, he turned to face Ashley. “Payton seems kind of rude,” he noted, with an edge of irritation in his tone that surprised Ashley a little.

  “She could’ve been happy for you, or something, instead of making it seem like you were doing something stupid just because you happened to be dating me.” Connor huffed, clearly trying to vent some of his frustration before he added, “She doesn’t even know anything about me, except that I play hockey.”

  Honestly, Ashley wasn’t sure she could disagree that Payton had been rude. On the other hand, she did also know why Payton had been rude. “I mean, you could’ve maybe tried to sell the whole soulmate thing a bit less ,” Ashley said instead. She knew her tone sounded snappy, but it was easier to do this than to admit to herself how much at that moment she had wanted it to be kind of true.

  “What are you talking about?” Connor asked, frowning. Ashley didn’t doubt his confusion was genuine. “The soulmate thing is the whole point , why the fuck would I try to sell it less?” Connor’s voice was never quiet, and they were talking loudly enough to attract a few looks. Connor didn’t seem to have noticed.

  “If I just wanted a girlfriend, I could’ve asked out anyone,” he pointed out. “It has to be the soulmate thing, otherwise it’s not going to work.”

  Somewhere at the back of Ashley’s mind, she recalled someone saying that when you felt angry you should count to ten and then talk. That was as far as she got, because words were falling from her lips before Ashley had even finished that thought.

  “Maybe because my friends might think it a bit weird that I’m suddenly so into soulmates?” She snapped, getting to the car and waiting for Connor to unlock it. It really wouldn’t do to have this argument outside. At least Ashley could think of that much. The rest of her, though, felt raging with anger and it felt better than the wanting , so she stuck with that.

  “Shouldn’t you have thought of that before ?” Connor snapped back, fumbling for the car keys. “I don’t understand what you wanted me to say!” They were definitely attracting attention. As people around them stopped talking to listen, Connor finally seemed to register.

  With a huff, he pulled the car door open, getting in and waiting for Ashley to join him before he picked up where he’d left off. “We can’t pretend one thing to your friends and another thing to mine. That’s stupid.”

  It made sense but that only seemed to annoy Ashley more . How dare he make her feel sad and then also make sense. It was highly rude and Ashley refused to stand for it. “And that’s not what I’m saying. But you know I’m not... I don’t...” Ashley wasn’t sure what to say that accurately represented how she felt.

  “It wouldn’t hurt you to just fucking think before you speak,” she finally snapped.

  Whatever Connor�
�s first response to that would’ve been, he clearly did think before he spoke. Ashley could hear the way his teeth clicked shut, and when she looked over, she could see a muscle working in his jaw.

  The tension between them was palpable. Connor revved the engine and pulled the car out onto the road. He didn’t say anything until they reached a junction, and he made the left turn that would carry them towards Ashley’s place. “I’ll drop you off at home,” he said, not sounding like he was open to negotiation.

  It kind of hurt Ashley that Connor didn’t even want to talk about this, that he seemed to ignore how she felt. But she wasn’t his girlfriend, right? So there was no reason Connor should care. That wasn’t a nice realization to come to, but it was true .

  “Okay,” was all Ashley offered before they fell into an uncomfortable silence. By the time they reached Ashley’s she no longer wanted to talk, feeling so annoyed at Connor and at the situation as a whole. And at herself. Truth was, Ashley felt angry at herself for getting angry. This wasn’t their agreement.

  Ashley couldn’t even bring herself to say anything. Before Connor could, she was already slamming the car door shut behind her. Whatever he’d say right now would only irritate her anyway and Ashley just didn’t want to fight .

  Without looking back she walked into her apartment building.

  Chapter Five

  Connor had spent half the evening slouched in his apartment, waiting for a call to let him know that Ashley had backed out of their agreement. He had known she didn’t think soulmates were important , he just hadn’t realized how vehemently she was against the idea of having one. Or pretending to have one. Ashley wasn’t his soulmate, any more than he was hers. That much was perfectly obvious.

  It wasn’t until he collapsed onto his bed, wondering why the call hadn’t come, that Connor really did stop to think about what he’d said. He had known that Ashley didn’t believe in soulmates. She’d said none of her friends would find it odd that she had a new boyfriend, but she definitely hadn’t said that they’d be excited by the idea of her finding her soulmate. Connor had just assumed they would because everyone was excited about soulmates.

  Everyone but Ashley.

  It wasn’t as if Connor believed Ashley was his soulmate. He had never been looking for that. He still wasn’t. He’d dated plenty of girls with other names, been serious with girls who weren’t his soulmate. At least, as serious as he could be, at twentysomething and knowing his next several years were going to prioritize hockey over romance. He just also knew how excited his mom would be, if he found a nice Ashley to go out with. She would hope for him, no matter how he tried to convince her not to.

  It all made Connor’s head hurt. He was grateful to be able to close his eyes and stop thinking about it.

  After practice the next day, Connor still hadn’t heard from Ashley. The newspapers had splashed his pie-covered face over the sports section. Fortunately, they’d been too full of his charitable actions to cover the fight. Connor found himself missing what Ashley would’ve had to say about it all.

  She hadn’t resigned. Connor had to believe that if she were seriously so pissed she couldn’t stand the sight of him, she would’ve done so. That being the case, he drove over to her apartment after training, carrying the newspapers under one arm.

  His stomach flipped nervously as he listened to her footsteps approach the door. “Hi,” he offered, quietly, not quite sure what he was letting himself in for. “Can I come in?”

  She didn’t say anything at first but Ashley did also take a step back. Connor took the way she held the door open to be an invitation. Closing the door behind them, Ashley led Connor through to the living room. Her flat was much smaller than his house, but it was decorated in a way that made it feel quite homely .

  “Do you want a drink?” Ashley asked. Connor had to wonder if it was more because she was a good host than because she wanted to give him a drink.

  “Maybe in a minute,” Connor answered. If Ashey was still mad at him, he didn’t want to have to hang around while he finished a drink before he could leave. On the other hand, he didn’t want to say no . That just sounded rude.

  They stood, neither of them saying anything until Connor finally sighed. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he said, slowly. “You were right, I didn’t think.” It pained him. Not because Connor particularly needed to be right all the time, but because he didn’t want Ashley to think he was stupid. He knew he wasn’t as smart as she was, but actually admitting that he’d been an idiot made him feel like she must look down on him.

  “I knew that you don’t care about soulmates, and I didn’t think about the fact your friends would know that.” Connor still wasn’t sure what he should have said, but he could at least have shut up. “If you want to tell your friends one thing and the press another, we can make that work.”

  There was a small hesitation before Ashley spoke. Connor was surprised when the first thing she said was, “I’m sorry, too.” There was a genuineness in her tone, almost a sadness that was difficult to place. When she spoke again, it seemed to have cleared a bit.

  “It’s not... I don’t...” There Ashely paused. Shaking her head, she sat down on the sofa, like she needed the support it offered. She patted the space next to her so Connor would sit down, too, before turning on the sofa to look at him. It reminded him of the way they’d sat when Ashley had offered to let him touch her soulmark.

  “I know what our agreement is, I know that you asked me to be your fake soulmate not just your fake girlfriend,” she said slowly. “Yes, we needed Payton and Edgar not to suspect we’re not. I was just... if I didn’t want to blow it, I had to go with what you were saying and what you were saying was... I don’t...” It was difficult to really follow what she was trying to say.

  “It was too much?” Connor guessed. “Too much about you being excited about finding a soulmate, I mean.” He paused because it hurt to think that Ashley wouldn’t be excited. That was stupid. Connor was not her soulmate, but even if he were, that didn’t mean they should spend their whole lives together. Why would he expect Ashley to be excited?

  Shaking his head, Connor tried to find something else to say. “I don’t know,” he admitted, once again feeling a sinking sensation in his stomach. Maybe he was too stupid to know how to handle a situation like this. If so, there was no use trying to hide it, as much as Connor might’ve preferred not to admit ignorance. “I don’t know how we convince people we are soulmates without also making it seem like we’re happy about it.”

  “Connor, people automatically assume that if two people with matching soulmarks are dating they’re soulmates,” Ashley told him. “Even if it doesn’t work out in the end, plenty of people still assume you were soulmates. We live in a society that insists soulmates must meet, must get together. No one will question us being soulmates.”

  She paused there, and Connor could only assume it was so he could think about what she said.

  And Connor did try to think. It wasn’t particularly easy, not with the way Ashley was just looking at him. Connor couldn’t help imagining she was waiting impatiently for him to get it. He didn’t want to keep her waiting, but Connor’s thoughts were slow to get themselves into any kind of logical order.

  “Okay,” he said, mostly because he had to break the silence, “but Edgar did ask if we were soulmates. And you don’t want me to say that we don’t know yet, because that doesn’t fit with what we’re telling the team and everyone in the press. Do you want me to act like I don’t think soulmates matter, either?” Connor wasn’t sure he did think soulmates mattered, but that wasn’t what he’d told his team. It was complicated enough to tell one lie, let alone two different ones.

  “No, sorry, I guess I didn’t explain that well,” Ashley said, shaking her head. “What I mean is... you don’t have to say we’re ever so happy . People will assume we are. Everyone - most people at least - will assume that if you think someone’s your soulmate you’re happy.” That, at least, Connor
did get. He’d seen enough people who had found their soulmate and were... probably happy.

  Reaching out slowly, Ashley brushed her fingers over Connor’s hand, startling him a little. He didn’t pull away. “Just say we’re soulmates, people will fill all the gaps themselves.”

  It seemed simple enough, and yet Connor still felt like there was something missing. If he were really dating Ashley, he would have been happy, and he would have told people he was happy. Especially Ashley’s friends. He didn’t want to annoy Ashley by asking what he was supposed to do if someone asked - as Payton had done - whether they were excited. He also didn’t want to risk sounding any more stupid than he already had.

  He turned his hand over, catching Ashley’s fingers briefly to squeeze them. “I’ll try to leave some gaps, in future, for people to fill,” he offered. He wasn’t sure if that was enough , or if there was still more. “Do you want me to explain to Payton?”

  “I don’t,” Ashley shook her head straight away. “It’s fine just... don’t speak for me, okay? If you want to say you are excited, that’s cool, be excited. Don’t tell people how I feel.” Despite the way she sounded frustrated - maybe more at the situation than at him, Connor hoped - Ashley didn’t withdraw her fingers from Connor’s hand.

  It did make sense, and it occurred to Connor that speaking for his girlfriends was something he’d done before. He’d never thought of it as a problem . He hoped it hadn’t been, but he could see why he should at least have considered it. “I’m sorry,” he offered, and this time he really meant it. It wasn’t just something to say because he wanted to smooth things over.

  He couldn’t quite meet Ashley’s eyes, but he didn’t let go of her fingers. He’d only intended to hold them for a moment. It still hurt, that Ashey wasn’t excited, didn’t even want to pretend to be excited. Connor could respect that it was her business. She was already going along with his wishes by pretending to be his soulmate at all.

  “You know you can back out, right?” he asked, the words surprising even him. “If it’s making you uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be annoyed.”