He slaps me on the back and we start walking away. “Never thought I’d see you twisted up about a bitch, VP. But if she means that much to you, don’t let her get away. There’s more to it than she’s letting on, I tell you.”
In the clubroom, Peg calls the prospects toward him, and I leave him to it. I’ve got somewhere else I need to be.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Sophie…
After Wraith had left, I’d taken the pill Doc had given me last night. God knows what was in it, but I fell asleep quickly and woke late feeling surprisingly refreshed, albeit with a slight grogginess in my head, which was soon sorted by a couple of cups of coffee.
When Horse had brought in the nectar of the gods, I’d answered his query about how I was feeling with a brief okay and turned away before he could ask why Wraith wasn’t here with me. Taking the hint, he’d left me alone, but there’s probably no way I’ll escape an inquisition later.
Lying on my bed, my arm thrown back over my head, I walk through the events of the day before, my stomach rolling when I remember that Hank was dead—such a sweet man to have died so young. Then the latter events of the night caught up with me, and with a groan, it hit me just how awful I’d been to Wraith.
He hadn’t deserved to have been dismissed without explanation. My cold rejection had hurt him, but how could I explain? I’ve never told anyone before, never got close enough to have needed to. No, I’d always run before the trap started to close. But not this time. And I’m hurting, really hurting. I already miss him. My heart feels like it’s been broken, the thought of never being with Wraith again is almost as bad as…
No. I am not going there. Not even thinking about it. But the tears pricking at my eyes tell me I’m a liar, and I start to wonder if I may have made a mistake. The need to protect myself as overwhelming as always, just this time I’d left it too late and already got too close. I admit that now. I should have stuck to my normal pattern of one night and done, but I hadn’t been able to do that with Wraith. I’d been too greedy, wanting more. Wanting as much as I could get.
But he would have left me too. Just like… He might not have wanted to, but he’s not exactly in a nine-to-five safe job. Yesterday was a prime example of the dangerous ways in which he lives his life. And now his club is going to war because of me.
It’s safer for everyone if I just leave—then their fight might be averted, and I wouldn’t be faced with seeing Wraith every fucking day. And if I’ve injured him as much as it appeared last night, it would make things easier on him too. I’ve seen how Heart is with Crystal, Bullet with Carmen and even Viper with Sandy and understand just how much importance these men put on committing to an old lady. He must really care about me. Yes, it’s best if I go.
I can’t see any alternative. Though I’m limited, there must be somewhere in this vast country where I can hide. How the hell did anyone find out I was here, anyway? Shaking my head, I realise there’s no way of knowing.
God, my heart aches when I think of the biker who I allowed to get too close. How could I have started to fall in love with him in such a short time? I’ve always protected myself better before. I never wanted to feel like this ever again.
As I pull myself out of bed, grab my clothes and get ready for the day, I sigh, dropping my head into my hands. I’m lying to myself if I think I can just leave and forget him. It’s too late. I already love him. And love destroys.
Horse makes another couple of attempts to get me to talk under the auspices of bringing me more coffee and breakfast, but I’m not in the mood for sharing. I keep quiet, hoping he’ll go and leave me alone, as if opening my mouth, I know I’ll give myself away. Or I’ll succumb to those tears I’m fighting back, sorrow at the trouble I’ve brought to the club’s door, and for everything I’m leaving. Horse has been good to me, but he won’t approve of my plans to get away and would try to argue me out of them. My resolve is weak enough as it is. If I’m going to act on it, I need to do it soon, and quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. I know it’s going to hurt but sticking around will just be more painful for everyone.
At last, Horse tells me he’s going down to the clubhouse. Without delay, I google on my phone then make a call, arranging for a taxi to collect me from the compound. I have to ring a few, the first couple of companies didn’t want to come as far as the gates, offering instead to pick me up at the end of the half-mile long track that runs up to it. But the fourth is more biddable and agree they’ll be there in half-an-hour.
Quickly I stuff a few clothes into a bag. Somehow during the night they must have brought the van back and, thank God, my chair was brought to my room while I was sleeping. I don’t want to rely on my crutches in case I have to walk long distances, so I’m loath to leave it behind. But that means I can only carry the basics. With one last look around my room, my heart breaking at the memories of Wraith in my bed, I fix my crutches on the back of the chair, and with my bag on my lap start to wheel myself away from the suite that has become my home.
Going down past the clubhouse isn’t difficult. I’d hoped not to meet anyone on the way, and for once luck was with me. The whole place seems deserted. Perhaps they are all in a meeting? That suits me fine. I don’t want to make any goodbyes, and I know Horse, for one, wouldn’t agree that my leaving was the best thing to do.
Congratulating myself on getting away, I come to the gates. As I approach them, Slick and Marsh step out from the shadows.
Oh. Shit!
Slick looks at me, pointedly glancing at the bag on my lap, and cocking his eyebrow. “Where d’ya think you’re going, darlin’?”
I decide to play it straight. “Could you open the gates for me, please? I’ve got a taxi coming to pick me up.”
At that moment a car pulls up outside, with a glowing sign on the top. Slick has a silent conversation with Marsh over my head. As the prospect steps toward the gate, I’m assuming he’s going to open it, but he doesn’t, just waves the taxi driver to roll down his window.
“Now what you leaving for, darlin’?”
Heaving a sigh, I reply honestly, “I don’t want to bring trouble to the club. If I’m not here, the Demons won’t have a beef with you anymore.”
His eyes narrow. “I couldn’t care less about the fuckin’ Demons, darlin’. But you’re under our protection and you won’t be going anywhere. Christ, where did you think you could fuckin’ go?”
“It’s none of your business.” Disgusted with myself, I feel tears at the back of my eyes at this obstacle in my way. Who’s he to thwart my plan to keep them all safe? “You can’t keep me prisoner here.”
He laughs, he actually bloody well laughs! And to my horror, I see Marsh has finished his conversation with the taxi driver and seems to be passing him some money. The car’s engine starts, then the taxi makes a U-turn and drives away.
“Noooo!” I cry out in exasperation.
Slick smirks. “Watch her, prospect.” Then, getting his phone out of his pocket places a call. “Got your ol’ lady at the front gate, Wraith. She’d called a fuckin’ taxi and was making a break for it. Thought you’d like to know.”
Another sneering look toward me. “Quickest time I’ve known an ol’ lady to call it quits, Brother.”
Then, “Yeah, I won’t let her leave.”
I slump my head forward. Why the fuck can’t anyone else see the trouble I’m bringing to them by staying here? And the second thought following close behind, why did he have to ring Wraith? He’s the last person I want to see. Then I sit up again—perhaps it’s all for the best. Surely, after the angry words last night, Wraith will want me gone as much as I want, need, to get away.
That I’m right seems to be confirmed when Wraith comes storming along the driveway with Peg by his side, his hand which isn’t in a sling on the VP’s arm as though holding him back. The reminder of the sergeant-at-arms’ injury fuels my determination to leave.
“Just tell them to open the gates,” I shout out when he’s within heari
ng.
His face contorts with rage. “You’re not going fuckin’ anywhere, Sophie.”
He called me Sophie?
But I can’t think about that for now, waving my hand at Peg I direct my next plea to him. “You of all people should know it’s safer for everyone if I go away.”
Peg stops just in front of me. “Ain’t safer for no one, babe. We’re at war with the fuckin’ Demons whether you’re here or not. They killed one of ours, remember? Can’t let them get away with that.”
I can see how they’d want revenge, but it would have to come at a cost. “Surely you don’t want others to die?”
He shrugs. “If that’s the result, so be it. We all know that when we take the patch.”
My gaze turns to Wraith, who’s looking no more relaxed, and the notion that he might be the one to lose his life causes such pain inside me. I know I can’t allow them to stop me from getting away. “Don’t ask me to stay here and watch you die, Wraith. Don’t. I can’t do that.” My plea comes out as a whisper.
Suddenly he’s moving Peg out of the way and crouching in front of me, his eyes radiating pain as he stares into mine. “Don’t ask me to watch you leave here and get yourself killed, Soph. ‘Cos that’s what’s gonna happen if you go out those gates. Don’t ask me to do that.”
I grasp at straws. “But Ethan only wants to talk to me.”
He shakes his head. “Yeah, talk to you with his fuckin’ fists. You got anything he wants to hear?”
I look down. “I don’t know where Zoe is. I can’t tell him anything.”
“So he’ll kill you. It’s my guess as he’s a known abuser, he’ll enjoy taking his time about it.” He reaches out and touches my hands and I can feel him shaking. “You want me to stay here thinking about that happening to you? You think I’d be able to stand that? Darlin’, that would kill me faster than a fuckin’ bullet.”
Suddenly Peg huffs a laugh and we both glance up. I think we’d both forgotten he was there. “Well, look at you two love birds, each wanting to die for the other.” He places his hand on Wraith’s shoulder and squeezes it. “Bout time for that talk you were gonna have,” Peg suggests to Wraith.
“I…”
But I can’t tell him how much I don’t want to have any type of conversation, as Wraith stands, then leans with his face right up against mine. I feel his breath on my face as he tells me, “Not one more fuckin’ word, Sophie. What we’ve got to talk about is gonna be done in private without these fuckin’ clowns around.”
As he steps back, I see it’s not just Peg, but also Slick and Marsh who are avidly taking in our every word. Knowing I’ve got no option, I sink back into the chair and let him wheel me away back to my room, which not so long ago I’d thought I’d left for the last time.
He takes me inside, leaving me by the bed. Dropping my back on the floor, he gets my crutches off the back of my chair and placing them close to me, giving me the option of staying where I am or moving. He goes over to close the door then leans back against it, and I take a moment to study him. His anger seems to have left him. Instead, he looks tired and drawn, and something makes me want just to hold him. I sit on my hands to stop myself from doing something stupid, like reaching for him.
He sighs deeply, his chin resting down toward his chest, and then he crosses the room, pulling up the chair and sitting opposite me, keeping the distance between us.
“Before we have the discussion we need to, I’ve got something to tell you,” he starts. He’s clenching and unclenching his fists, and I can’t work out whether it’s sadness, anger, or like I’m doing, stopping himself from reaching for me.
I nod and wait for him to speak, tears threatening once again as now, despite his impassioned plea by the gates, he seems so remote.
Taking a deep breath, he starts to explain, “Chrissy, the sweet butt, betrayed the club. She told the Rock Demons that you’d be going to Utah, so they were on the lookout for our return.”
“Chrissy? The one who wanted you?” I can’t believe she’d done that.
“That’s her. But you don’t need to worry about her anymore.” There’s such a finality about his pronouncement it chills me.
“Do I want to know what happened to her?”
He shakes his head. “Better you don’t ask, darlin’”
I don’t want to know, but I can guess. Chrissy had caused Hank’s death, could have killed us all, or, in my case, delivered me into the hands of a vile abuser of women. But fuck, if I hadn’t have come here three people could still be alive. I’m still having nightmares about Buster.
Wraith’s studying me carefully. “This isn’t on you, so don’t think it for a moment. Bitch was jealous, fuck, she’d have been jealous of any woman I looked at more than once. She thought she was something special to me. Well, she was fuckin’ wrong about that. Whoever I wanted would have been a threat to her. That she was someone who’d betray the club, well, we didn’t see that coming. But seems it was something waiting to happen if I stepped out of line.”
He pauses, watching to see if I’m accepting his explanation.
“Did you…”
“Did I kill her?” Now he does reach over and takes my hands. “No, darlin’, it wasn’t me. And thank fuck for that. I’d never want to hurt a woman. It was quick, she didn’t see it coming.”
For some reason, it pleases me he hadn’t gotten his hands dirty, but it’s still hard to take the swift retribution dished out by the club. That they can take a life so easily chills me. But then again, perhaps more merciful than a prisoner kept waiting on death row for years.
“Sophie,” he starts, and my eyes widen as he again uses my name and doesn’t call me Wheels. I don’t know what to make of it. “Soph, can we talk? About last night? I know I was wrong to push you so fast, particularly after everything that went down.”
I start turning my head from side to side, wanting him to know that while terrible, it hadn’t been the events of yesterday that made me push him away.
But he misunderstands. Reaching out, he brushes the strand of hair that’s fallen over my face back behind my ears. “I know you’re worried about what might happen, but we’re taking every precaution to keep everyone safe.” He turns my head up, his dark eyes staring into mine. “You don’t need to worry about us, about me. No one’s going to be taking unnecessary risks. We’re on lockdown. All the ol’ ladies are here―and that imp, Amy.” He studies me for another moment. “I rushed you last night, but this is me giving you space. No pressure. I want you, babe. I want you as my woman, but if you need time to think about it, take it.”
I’m still not ready to tell him all the time in the world wouldn’t change my mind, so I focus on the one word I didn’t comprehend. “Lockdown?”
“Yeah, if the club’s threatened we pull everyone in.”
And that’s down to me. My problems are disrupting everyone’s lives. “It would be so much better if I leave. Just let me go, Wraith.”
“No,” he states, firmly. “I told you at the gate that you wouldn’t have a chance out there. Club’s given you their protection. We’ll get these bastards off your back and then you can think where you want to go. You’re going nowhere until it’s safe, I promise you that. No one is going to let you leave. And, once everything’s cleared up, I hope you never want to.”
I sit, sadly shaking my head. “It’s all my fault.”
He heaves a deep sigh in exasperation. “Soph, put that out of your mind once and for fuckin’ all. You can’t take it on yourself. If Buster hadn’t broken your prosthesis, we wouldn’t have left the compound, and at the end of the day, it’s on Chrissy. If she hadn’t set her sights on me, the Demons would never have found you. That’s down to her, babe. And she got what she deserved for it.”
“But—”
“No buts. Do you want to blame your friend for having left Ethan, or fuck that, getting’ together with him in the first place? You’re innocent in all this. It’s not down to you. You might as well sa
y you shouldn’t have been born.”
I contemplate what he’s said. I suppose it’s like the butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world, with the resulting ripple effect. While I don’t think it exonerates me completely, he’s right, none of this was directly my fault in that I did not cause it to happen.
Something in my expression shows he’s, at last, gotten through to me. He lowers his lips to mine, and as he gently moves his mouth across them, I’m unable to resist. It’s the gentlest kiss I’ve ever received. Moisture floods between my legs. There’s just something about him that arouses me, so I moan, and despite myself, press against him, wanting more.
“Told you I was going to give you space darlin’.” He stands and walks to the other side of the room. “But it’s just so damn hard keeping my hands off of you.” He adjusts himself in his jeans with a rueful smile. “See what you do to me?” He pauses for a moment before continuing, “Babe, my timing was all wrong, but I’m falling hard for you, and unless I’ve been reading you entirely wrong, I reckon you’re doing the same. Now are you going to be brave enough to admit it?”
“Wraith, it’s not your timing. Whenever you asked me, the answer would have been the same.”
As his eyes close and his face shutters, I know I have to try to explain. “You’re right, I’m afraid. But it’s not what you think.”
His eyes snap open again. “Gotta give me more, darlin’. Tell me what you’re afraid of.” He sounds as if whatever it is, he’d fight it for me, but he can’t take on my demons, they’ve got too great a hold over me.
Taking my crutches, I struggle to my feet, and already knowing me well he doesn’t offer to help, just patiently waits until I’ve got my balance. Then I cross the room to him. He’s so much taller than me, I have to crane my neck to look into his face. Taking a breath, I put it out there in the only way I can, giving it to him straight. “I’m too fucking afraid of having my heart torn out, of going through that devastating pain all over a-fuckin’-gain. I wouldn’t survive it!”
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