“And your real name’s Colin?” She grins.
“It might be, but you’re not gonna call me that, babe. Col, if you must. But Colin, no way. Pussy name if you ask me.”
“And I’d be Alex Lowe?” She pauses and says, “That’s got quite a nice ring to it.”
“Is that a yes?”
“Didn’t hear you asking.”
I laugh softly, already planning a surprise in my head.
But the moment of levity fades when Alex’s eyes fall on her son waiting for us to collect him. It’s the first time I’ve appreciated what an enormous and difficult decision she has to make.
At our next church, I’ll be filling in my brothers. Alex will need all the support she can get.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Alex…
I leave the doctor’s office as I normally do. Downhearted. Even the knowledge that Dart wants to marry me doesn’t bolster me for long. I take a moment to wipe a traitorous tear from my eye, then put a smile on my face and go to collect my son from the nurses’ station.
“Ice cream?” Tyler looks at me eagerly.
“Yeah.” It’s his standard treat after being so good for the staff.
Dart’s deep in thought as he follows me out to the parking lot. Having successfully managed to put a smile on my own face, he needs to put one on his own. I refuse to let Tyler have an inkling of how worried we are, he’s got enough to deal with as it is. I nudge him and point to Tyler, and then to my face.
He realises immediately. “Do I get an ice cream too?”
“Has he been good, Mom?”
I tilt my head as though I’m considering it and then relent. “Yes, he’s been good.” My lips curve up in a grin. In fact, he’s been excellent. Him being there means he knows it all, and I can use him to bounce ideas off as I prepare to make the most difficult decision of my life.
It’s a fairly warm day, so we head down to La Jolla and walk along the boulevard to see the seals and sea lions on the beach. Tyler loves it here, and their behaviour always makes him laugh, even if it’s just the way they wriggle themselves on their stomachs up the sand.
Dart seems almost as entranced as my son. “Hey, buddy. That one’s waving at you.”
When we’ve had enough seals for one day, Tyler switches his attention to watching the squirrels eating the shrubbery that lines the path.
Dart clearly notices how much he likes the wildlife. “Let’s take him to the zoo one day. Has he been?”
“That’s a great idea. I did take him when he was younger, but doubt he remembers much.” I can’t believe I have a man at my side who wants to do all the normal family things. It goes without saying, Ron never did.
“Doll, I’ve been thinking. You know the house that you lived in was rented.” Of course, I do. Glancing at Dart, I don’t know what he’s getting at. “Well, the house he lived in with his girlfriend, he owned that. And that now must come to you.”
My eyes open wide. I own a house?
“He ever mentioned anyone called Belle or Belinda to you? Winscott’s the name.”
“That her?”
“Uh-huh.”
“And she’s living in the house?”
“Yup. According to her, she’s been there six years.”
I look across to check on Tyler and call out, “Not too far. We’re going to be heading back soon.” Then switching my attention back to the topic at hand when I see I’ve been heeded; I sum up my thoughts. “I feel sorry for her, you know? If he was better to her than to me, she’s lost her man and now could lose her house.”
“Will lose her house,” he corrects me. “You can’t afford to be soft. Not with the boy to look after. I don’t know, Alex, whether the house was paid off, or whether he’s got a mortgage outstanding, but any profit from it will go toward Tyler’s treatment.”
He’s right. I wonder why Ron stayed with me all these years. Why keep up the pretence of our marriage when he had someone else on the side. A thought occurs to me, and I frown. “He must have paid for the house with the money my parents gave him.” While I lived in a rented home. He’d told me it was all he could afford on what he was making.
“What you thinking, doll?”
As Dart looks at me with concern, I bite my lip. “When he took me to the cabin, he told me about the money he was getting. Said he’d made other arrangements now that it would stop with my death.”
He nods. “You’d left him, babe. The money from your parents was gonna stop. He took out a hefty life insurance policy to compensate some for the loss.”
Rolling my head around my shoulders, I try to take it all in. “I hate that it explains everything.” My voice sounds heavy. “I was never anything more than a commodity to him. He never wanted me, not even from the start.” My eyes flick toward Tyler. “That’s why he got a girlfriend so early on, but kept up appearances so the money would keep coming in.”
“Babe…”
“He didn’t have to torture me, Dart. Didn’t need to pretend. If he’d explained, we could have lived separate lives.”
“Doll, he was trapped. Probably part of the bargain he made with your parents.”
My head snaps back around to Dart, my eyes flaring. “Are you making excuses for him? Justifying how miserable he made me? He fucking hurt me, Dart, that night before I ran. And he threatened Tyler—”
“Doll, darlin’, no.” Dart looks out over the ocean, as though wondering how much he can say to me. “Thompson was a sadistic bastard, that’s got nothing to do with you. If he’d been a proper man, there could have been a way to work things out. But believe me, babe, he was a man who liked causing suffering, mental or physical. If anyone’s to blame, it was on your parents for not checking him out.” He pauses, clears his throat, and then continues, “Club’s come up against him before. He was responsible for the needless death of one of the members. Can’t tell you more, babe. Club business.”
I shut my mouth. I was told Ron had, what was for me a happy accident, but I already thought Dart and his brothers were responsible in some way. Now that I’ve learned they had their own reasons for hating Ron, too, I’m convinced of their involvement. It should bother me more, but it doesn’t.
Dart’s hand comes to rest under my chin and he turns me to face him. “He might not have gotten physical until the end, but I reckon you’ve had a hard time of it, ain’t cha doll? I’m going to make up for every one of those six years. Both for you and for Tyler.”
“He’s gone, it’s over. Done with. You don’t owe me anything at all.”
“Yes, I do. I owe you the best life I can give you.” He stares down, then looks back up. “Ty. Come on, Son. Time to get going.”
Son. He called Tyler, son. My heart misses a beat. Ron’s gone, but Dart’s here. And he’s proving to be everything I ever wanted.
On the way back to the car he asks, “Do you want to stop off at your house on the way home? Give a heads-up to Belinda that she needs to get packing?”
I glance at Tyler, but if I’m just going to talk to her on the doorstep, he can wait in the car, the day’s not too warm for him to do that. And Dart’s right, I need all the money I can get if I’m going to pay for Tyler’s treatment. While it goes against the grain to think of turning someone out of their home, for the sake of my son I can’t afford to be generous and let her stay on. I straighten my back. I’d rather never meet the woman who’d been my competition, but with Dart at my side, I can do anything.
“Okay. No point putting it off.”
Putting the car in drive, Dart turns out onto the road. He drives across town without consulting a map or programming the GPS, letting me know he’s been here before. After a while, we pull up at a neat one-story that looks like it might be a three-bedroom home. Much nicer than the one Ron had rented for me. I deserve to have the proceeds from this house that he bought. After all, it was the bribery from my reasonably well-off parents that had paid for it.
“Wanna do this, then?” Dart’s expressi
ve eyes look concerned, both of us expecting a difficult conversation.
“Might as well. Tyler, you wait here, you hear?”
“Sure, Mom.” I glance over my shoulder. At least his game is keeping him amused once again.
Dart and I get out. We’ve parked right outside the gate to the front yard so I can see the car from the front door. We approach and ring the bell.
It’s opened by a white woman, which takes me by surprise. She’s tall, willowy, and has beautiful blond hair and blue eyes. I can immediately see why Ron preferred her. I risk a peep at Dart, but he looks unaffected. She notices him though, and her mouth twists in disgust.
“You're one of those bikers. You kidnapped me.”
What?
“It was an emergency. We needed to find Alex before Thompson killed her.” Dart’s completely unrepentant.
She looks down at me. My presence seems to relax her a little, though she isn’t smiling as she takes not too wild a guess. “You’re Alex?”
I really don’t know how to play this, especially now I know she’s met the bikers before. Kidnapped? I’d hoped to avoid getting confrontational. “I’m Alex,” I confirm, while wishing Dart had told me exactly how they’d gone about trying to find me before we’d come here.
She stares at me for what seems like ages before her frown disappears, and she asks, “Do you want to come in? I think we need to talk.”
Exchanging surprised looks, Dart answers for me. “Tyler’s in the car.”
She looks behind me as if to prove the truth of my words. “Bring him in with you. I can get him a juice or something if he’d like?”
It’s certainly not the reaction I expected, especially now knowing she’s no reason to want either me or a biker in the house. I look between the woman and Dart, but she looks resigned rather than upset.
“Look, there are things you need to know, Alex.” She looks at me carefully. “I admit, I spent six years hating you, but now? I don’t. Not any longer. Please come in, we can’t talk on the doorstep.”
Dart shrugs, leaving the decision to me. When I nod, it’s him who goes to get Tyler, then we all step inside.
“Go play with your game, Ty. Us adults need to talk.”
Seeming unable to lift his eyes from the screen, Tyler plonks himself down in a chair. Belinda waves us over to some chairs around a table.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“No, thank you.”
Again, that intense stare at me, and then she looks toward the man at my side. “I was angry when you kidnapped me… er…”
“Dart.”
“Dart. But things with Ron deteriorated from that point. Though I wasn’t expecting him, Ron came home that day, changed his clothes and chucked the old ones in a bin bag. I thought it was odd, but I was still fuming about what you’d done to me. As far as I knew, you and your biker friends had questioned me for no reason.”
“It wasn’t for no reason. They saved my life.”
Slowly she nods. “Okay, that might have been a stretch too far for me at the time. Now I believe he would have hurt you. But not then, no. I didn’t accept it when Dart and the other bikers told me Ron had been violent toward you. The story he’d always given me was you refused to give him a divorce.”
I’m confused, if so, her non-combative attitude is surprising.
She continues, “That day, I ignored his odd behaviour, too intent on telling him what my own experience had been and, of course, that you’d taken Tyler. I was unhurt, but I’d been taken, detained against my will. I’d been scared and still was to some extent. I was looking for sympathy, and at first, I thought I’d get it. He changed immediately, his body tensing with fury, which I thought was on my behalf. I expected him to immediately call it in—he’s a cop after all, and his son had been kidnapped by bikers. But he didn’t.” She pauses, swallows and throws me a knowing look. “He lost his temper, grabbed me by the neck and threw me against a wall. Sometimes he’d be a little rough with me when he lost his temper, and God help me, I always found an excuse for him, but Alex, nothing like this.” Again she breaks off and looks straight into my face. “At that moment, I was terrified of him. He had this look in his eyes, a wild expression.”
Now it’s my turn to dip my head, knowing only too well exactly what she’s describing.
“He didn’t seem to give a damn about Tyler, but just wanted to know exactly what I’d told you, Dart. He kept on and on. Then something must have clicked that I hadn’t been able to tell you anything of any real use. He kept on about a cabin, had I told them about it? Of course, I said no. I never knew of a cabin. In the end, he seemed calmer. He let me go and told me to get dinner.
“I was too frightened to bring the subject up again. But I remember what you, Dart, had said. And for the first time, I started to wonder whether there was anything in it. His complete lack of concern about where Tyler was floored me, though I didn’t dare ask him why he wasn’t more upset.
“When he went out the next day, I looked into the bag of clothes he told me he was going to discard. They were covered in blood. I remember staring at them for ages. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I even thought about going to the police, but what could I say? I could show them the bruises on my throat and the blood on the clothes, but I had no idea what that meant.”
She looks over to Tyler, who’s still engrossed in his game. “I decided to wait and confront him. I mean, he’d only hurt me badly the once, he wouldn’t do it again, would he?” It’s a rhetorical question, so neither Dart nor I answer. “He was missing for a couple of days. I thought perhaps he was trying to get Tyler back or something. But when he returned, I’d never seen him in such a mood. He kept mumbling that ‘that fucking bitch got away’.”
Again, she glances at my son. “I knew he was talking about you. I was glad you escaped from whatever he’d done.”
“He hurt you again.” I’m already certain.
“Yes, he did. For the last time. I walked out. I only came home a few days ago when I got the call that he’d died.”
“You want to see what he did to me?” I pull up my top and show her the scars on my chest, but don’t bother to show her the burns. Neither do I mention the cruellest thing that he’d done.
“Am I wrong to be glad he’s dead?” Her hand goes to her mouth as though she’s shocked the words had escaped from her own mouth, but adds with grit, “He couldn’t have been allowed to look after that sweet boy.”
Reaching out my hand, I cover hers. “If you’re wrong, I am too. The world’s a better place without him, and now I can concentrate on looking out for my son.” I wait for a moment, then, “There’s a reason I’m here today. Tyler’s a very sick boy, he needs expensive treatment.”
“That wasn’t a lie?” she asks, tilting her head to one side. “You weren’t making his illness up as a plea for attention?”
“No. This house, as it was Ron’s and we didn’t get a divorce, well, it belongs to me. And I need to sell it to raise the money. I’m sorry…”
She smiles. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to stay here and don’t want to. It doesn’t hold good memories, not anymore. I’ve already started packing boxes. If you can give me a week, I’ll be gone.”
Dart and I look at each other in disbelief. I don’t know how much this house is worth, or how much is owed on it, but there must be something significant that will add to my funds.
“Thank you, Belinda.”
“Belle, please.”
“Belle. That’s a weight off my mind.” I break off and think. It might be strange, but there’s something about her. “Here, take my number, and if you ever want to call…” I don’t know why I made the offer, and I doubt she ever will. I’d come here prepared to despise her, be jealous of her, but she seemed to have been caught in the same trap that I was, though for her, it was of her own making. On my part, I didn’t have much of a choice.
Dart stands. “Let Alex know when you’ve moved out your stuff.”
Then to me, “Come on, doll, let’s go home.”
I get Tyler, we say our goodbyes, and then go out to the truck. As I’m getting Tyler settled in his booster seat, I realise there’s something I’ve got to do if I’m ever going to have peace in my life.
Dart’s holding the passenger side door open for me, and I place my hand on his arm. “I want to go see my parents.”
His eyebrows rise. “Really, doll?”
“I need answers, Dart. Everything that’s happened to me comes back to them. I want to know the reason why.”
“You sure you’re up to it? You’ve had a fuck of a day so far.”
He’s right, I have. But perhaps that’s what gives me the strength. I can’t put this off for another day. “I’m sure, Dart. And, you’ll be there to give me moral support.”
He lifts his head and looks up as though the sky might provide inspiration, then when his eyes come down again, they crease at the corners. “Woman, fuck, you constantly amaze me.” His fingers rest under my chin. “Come on then, let’s get this over and done with.”
We’re quiet on the short drive to my parents’ home, I, for one, deep in thought. When I direct Dart up a driveway his eyes open wide. “Fuck, Alex, I didn’t realise you came from money.” He parks off to the side next to two other cars, both a lot more expensive than mine.
Tyler for once looks up from his game. “We’re gonna see Grandma and Grandpa?” He doesn’t sound particularly happy about it.
“Just for a moment.”
“Can I stay in the car?”
I would prefer he didn’t hear what they have to say, so I quickly agree. “You going to be okay, sweetie?”
“I’m nearly at another level.”
Sounds like he’ll be fully occupied then. While wondering if I’m a bad mom to let him play so long on his game and vowing to give him some one-on-one time later, I get out. Dart takes my hand as we walk up to the porch. When the door opens, it’s my mother standing there.
She looks long and hard at Dart, and at our joined hands, then sneers. “Your husband’s barely cold and you’ve taken up with that?”
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