by LJ Swallow
Then her. The girl Heath refused to talk too much about when he started working at Alphanet. All he told us is she's Verity and he was aware of his pull to her. Why didn't he elaborate?
The night I met the achingly beautiful Verity in the pub, I pulled on the gruff Ewan and practically held my breath against her effect. Her attraction to Heath was, and still is, plainly obvious. I'll continue to hide mine to her.
Our one touch remains etched in my mind; my fingers against her hair and skin, the evening we spent alone together. During those hours, our common interests added to the Horsemen connection. We share a passion for seeking the truth.
And now this.
Verity's cheek rests on her knees, drawn into her chest, head turned away from us. I hold my hands out to Joss in a “what do we do?” gesture. He shakes his head and the silent stand-off begins.
Who tells her? Who will be the one Verity hates for breaking the news?
I rehearse the words in case I'm the one who needs to speak them:
You’re human, Vee, but not who you always thought you were.
Don't worry—you do exist. You've existed for years. But not the whole of the life you remember.
Fuck. No. I can't explain this.
"Joss?" I whisper.
"I don't fucking know what to say."
My story planning begins again, ready for more questions from Vee. There's no way to break this gently, or rationally. I rehearse more words in my head:
Verity. Your life is a lie. The past you hold memories of doesn't exist. Why don't you ever see your parents? Where are your friends? They don't exist. None of what you believe is true.
I’m not often paralysed by a situation, but I bloody am right now. I care for Vee, heart aching for her. Joss doesn't look as if he's faring much better. Is his ability strong enough to calm Vee and allow her to listen rationally to the greatest headfuck of her time?
Who is going to tell her?
"I don't think sitting on the hallway floor is the best place for this conversation," Joss says in gentle tones. He crouches beside Vee and attempts to take her hand.
Vee snatches her fingers away and wraps her arms around her head again, her chest rising and falling rapidly, her breath coming in short bursts.
"I think she’s having a panic attack,” I whisper to Joss.
"Are you surprised? You dumb fucker!"
"I was trying to help explain the situation. I thought Xander had told her." He screws his face up at me. "Sorry, okay?"
Joss touches Verity on the back. "Come on, don't sit there."
The anguish on her face when she looks up at him kills me, and rips into my heart as if a demon's clawing it from behind my ribs.
I caused this.
I hurt her.
She attempts to shrug Joss's hand away, and I will him to succeed in using his powers on her.
"Vee...," he whispers.
"Get off me!" she screams at him. "Leave me alone!"
Joss's eyes widen for a second before he catches her flailing arms. I watch, broken heart in my mouth, as she lashes at him and he attempts to catch her arms. Her protests that we're lying, and this isn't true, ring in my ears until they're muffled by Joss holding her to him. He sits next to Vee and grips her tight.
Seconds pass that feel like minutes as her breathing slows, face buried into Joss's chest as her fight against him wanes. He places a cheek on her hair and strokes her back as she lies in his arms.
I'm useless to Verity. Fucking useless, virus-spreading Pestilence. Joss can do this to help her with his empath moves. Heath already caught her attention and could probably help too. Xander? Well, I guess I'm further up the friendship scale than him.
Or I was.
I dig hands into my pockets. After today's events, I'm exhausted, and the beers in my system tire me more. I have an inkling how Vee feels, but on a tiny level. Demons breached fae barriers and threatened lives—and us. Things have shifted in the Four’s lives too.
"Maybe you should go," says Joss. "I'll help Vee."
I clench my teeth. "Right. Should we tell Heath and Xander?"
Joss gives a vigorous shake of his head. "No. Heath will lose his shit and Xander's volatile right now. Leave this until the morning."
I watch Joss help Vee to her feet, her face calmer but no less stunned. "Come on, I think you need to lie down," he says to her.
"I uh… I'll bring her some water or something?" I wipe my face with both hands. "Something stronger?"
But my words aren't heard as Joss guides Vee into his bedroom.
I turn my back. Yeah, fucking useless me.
JOSS
Was this Ewan's need to tell Vee everything? Or a genuine mistake? Surely he couldn't be cruel enough to drop this on her, especially after today. If Vee finds her way through this and comes out the other side with acceptance, she's stronger than I thought.
Will the power inside that holds her to us manage to override her human reaction? Will the truth trump her disbelief and pain?
For now, I’m only aware of the anguish emanating from Vee as her warm figure lies in my arms. I've craved being this close to Vee since the first time I saw her. I’ve struggled to stay away in situations I felt her need for the calm I could give. My reason why I avoided this? Because holding her arouses a need to not let her go, to kiss her the way I saw her with Heath even though every ounce of me knows this is wrong.
I sit on the edge of the bed, not letting go. Vee’s wet cheeks are soft against my neck, and my arms surround her slim body. The lemon scent from her shampoo reminds me of cheesecake, and I laugh at the weird connection in my mind.
Vee, good enough to eat.
I grip her tighter and dismiss the thoughts distracting me from my efforts to impart calm in this frightened girl.
My back aches from holding her in the weird position, and I lie besides her, drawing her close. Vee doesn't respond; her face is still buried into my shirt, now damp with her tears.
Why did those who created the Five Horsemen do this to her? The news Verity existed, confused us. Why wasn't she with us originally? They'd hidden Truth in the world and wiped her memories, replacing them with false ones. How's that for bloody ironic. Why? I have no fucking idea, but one day I'm going to find out and give them Hell for hurting her like this.
For now, I suspect this was to keep her secret from those who'd only heard of the Four Horsemen. Those against us focused their energies on working against our combined powers without knowing we had a Fifth. Xander's convinced she holds something more important, besides amplifying those powers and that worries me. Does this mean we’re about to face a challenge in the world that we couldn’t meet as Four?
Xander's correct—we signed up for this, but I don't remember when or why either. I'm just Joss. Famine. No history or memories. Nothing. All I remember is instinctively knowing my role: protect the world. Occasionally flashes I think are memories cross my mind: darkness, fear, pain. I dismiss them every time. Perhaps I don't want to remember where I came from.
At least I didn't go through the hell Verity is in right now.
"Vee?" I ask, tentative, in case she freaks out again.
For the first time, her arms encircle my neck as she pushes herself closer. I tense again, this time at her lips on my neck as she speaks.
"You're doing your ‘thing’ again, aren't you?" she says.
I shift at the arousing effect her soft mouth on my skin has. Really, Joss, totally inappropriate.
"Calming you? Yes. This time I had to be closer to you."
"I don't want to believe this," she whispers. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."
"What, now?" I ready myself to move, and her breath tickles my skin as she laughs softly.
"No. Now I just want to close my eyes and forget. Maybe when I wake up one of you will tell me this isn’t true."
"Nobody can lie to you, Vee," I bury my face in her hair and inhale.
"I know." Vee's breathing speeds again, and I hol
d her closer, focusing every ounce of energy I have on soothing the new pain washing from her to me.
"Do you want me to leave you to sleep?" I ask.
Her arms tighten. "No. I think I need the special Joss treatment. Unless you have a shed-load of Valium."
I laugh, but my chest hurts, exhaustion passing through me too.
"I'll stay," I say. "I want you to rest."
Vee doesn't move as I pull the blankets from the bed over us.
I doubt I'll sleep anytime soon.
Author Note: When Legacy first published, some readers were concerned about the welfare of Vee’s cat. I never expected such a response! The cat is safe and well. As Vee mentions in the book, she hadn’t seen him around for a few days and he had moved in with a different family.
I wrote a short scene in Bound to explain further.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
A special thanks to a few people who have helped me find my way in this new project. I’ve been welcomed into the reverse harem community by such a wonderful group of people. Thanks especially to Ashley Leanne Pelham, Soobee Dewson and Samantha Bruner for beta reading the book.
Thanks also to all the lovely readers who joined the Four Horsemen readers group and shared my excitement for the series.
And again, thanks to Peggy for her editing excellence and friendship.
The Four Horsemen: Bound
To Angel Lawson.
We are levelling up in the marine life game.
The Four Horsemen: Bound
What happens when you discover Truth is a lie?
Ewan's shock revelation sends Vee's life further into chaos, and she faces an uncertain future in a secret world she never knew existed.
Vee joins the Four Horsemen's hunt for those behind the plot to murder a fae queen, where she discovers society faces bigger dangers than she realised.
One night changes everything and increases Vee's determination to harness her power and step into her new role.
The Four Horsemen now have their missing link and will each do anything to protect and support her, but Vee's determined to show them she can be their equal.
The group are about to find out exactly how powerful Truth is.
1
VEE
Joss left.
I'm a light sleeper and often wake as the sun rises, but last night I slept heavily in dreamless darkness. I wake wrapped beneath a blanket, but the man’s arms I fell asleep in last night no longer surround me.
I sit up, head in hands, as Ewan’s revelation floods my mind again. I waver between disbelief and a strange acceptance towards the news I’m not who I thought I was. The panicked hysteria from hours ago doesn’t linger this morning, as if Joss’s soothing touch stays with me.
I climb out of bed and peek through the curtains, to ensure some reality still exists. A low mist carpets the ground giving the area surrounding the house an ethereal look, and the sun has barely risen. Still dressed in last night's clothes, I creep out of the room and along the hallway, downstairs towards the back of the house. I reach the kitchen and hold my breath to listen. No noise to indicate anybody else is awake. Right now, I’m happier to be alone with my confused thoughts.
A heavy wooden door at the kitchen rear leads outside to a paved area. A wooden bench overlooks the barren fields, and towards the dense woods, which offer a barrier between the property and the nearest road. I've no desire to run from the house this time, painfully aware running will never be an option.
The sun continues to rise as I sit on the bench and breathe in the morning air. I focus on the familiar: scent of the damp earth and decaying leaves dropped from the beech trees, at the birdsong welcoming me to my new day.
I mull over recent months in my mind. Were there clues? Shortly after Anna left for London, nightmares started. At first, I put them down to the new situation: living alone for the first time. The darkness and screaming in my dreams, along with the breathless fear, which I woke with, gripped me for weeks until the nightmares gradually faded. I still experience the dreams, less frequently, but each time I can never grasp exactly what my subconscious is showing me. The nightmares are always the same, and each time I attempt to recall them I never do—just the darkness.
The other Vee, who believes Ewan lied, interrupts my thoughts. I pull out my phone and scroll through for Anna's number, then send her a friendly "how's things?” text. She doesn't reply. My stomach lurches. Does she exist? Of course she does, it’s too early for her to answer the phone yet.
What did Anna and I do together? I search my mind, but memories of my time with Anna have faded. I can't remember what she looks like. Our teen years, complaining about school and spending all our free time together. The holidays I took with my parents to Spain every year. Did any of that happen?
But, instead of last night's terror, an acceptance floods over. Now the secret is revealed do I need to accept the truth?
To accept I'm not Verity Jameson?
I repeat the words to myself, stunned I'm not freaking out without Joss's calming touch. Honestly, I should be a jabbering mess on the floor.
The door to the house thuds closed, and I look over my shoulder. Heath stands, holding two mugs and a wary expression. He’s dressed in the same dark shirt and jeans as last night, and the attraction to him takes over my thoughts as I look back into his green eyes. Reality? He definitely felt real when we kissed—and my reaction was definitely human.
"Hello, Heath."
He crosses and sits on the bench, keeping at a distance to prevent our bodies touching, and hands a mug to me. "I thought you might need a coffee."
"Thanks. You're up early."
"So are you."
"Hmm." I sip the hot liquid, savouring a part of my morning ritual. "Are you surprised I’m awake?”
"How did you sleep?"
In Joss's arms. "You don't need to avoid the subject, Heath. I presume you know that last night Ewan told me Verity Jameson doesn't really exist."
He stares at his boots. "Yeah. I know. Ewan and Joss told me how you reacted."
"Are you surprised?" I turn to face him. The concern lining his face tugs away my desire to be cross with him, and I temper my reaction. "I find out I’m part of a mysterious world that I don’t understand, mostly because you four hardly tell me anything, and then Ewan decides to tell me the biggest secret of all."
"No. I’m not surprised about how you reacted." Heath folds his warm hand over mine.
I look down. "Let me guess, you were the one sent to talk to me because of our... connection."
Heath's gaze returns to the ground. "Kind of."
How can I say I wish Joss had been the one to approach me, and explain, this morning? That what happened last between Heath and me was between him and the human Verity, the one I need to dismiss and not to be reminded of at this moment? I can't tell Heath, but the truth is I need Joss right now. I want Joss to hold me again and take away the remnants of my confusion. Joss wiped away the weakness the frightening emotions caused, and Heath's bringing those emotions back. Once I’m calmer, I might feel differently, but not now.
I close my eyes. What day is it? Do I need to work today? And Jesus, if somebody chose to put me in this world in disguise, they could've chosen a more interesting job. Or even no job — I would've been perfectly happy tucked away somewhere with wealth and privilege until I was "found."
In a strange reversal, I’m finding it harder to grasp onto the belief I'm the Verity I thought I was. Insanely, the news I’m not, and I've only existed a short time, sits more comfortably with me.
"How do you feel now?" Heath asks in a soft voice.
I open my eyes, sip more coffee, and shiver in the autumn cool. "I'm forgetting my life already, Heath," I admit. "Suddenly, too, as if somebody pulled the plug and my memories are disappearing down into a whirlpool."
Heath shifts closer and squeezes my hand. "I’m sorry, you must be frightened."
"I was. Now... I don't know. I feel as if a box opened
where a part of me was locked away and she’s pushing out my memories. Do you think that's what’s happened? That this ‘real me’ was... unleashed by learning the truth." Oh God. I pull my fingers from his and hold my head in my hands. As my body floods with panic again, I focus on the sounds and scents surrounding me. No. I’m here. I’m me. I’m Verity.
But I’m not, and the truth rests deep in my soul.
"Maybe," he replies.
I look up, and push hair from my face. "Did the same happen to you and the other guys?"
Heath stares ahead for a few moments, mouth turned down. "No. I don't know where I came from originally. We all arrived at this house on the same day. Literally, woke up one morning, here. Weird shit—we’d never met each other before. I didn’t even remember Xander was my brother." He blows air into his cheeks and side glances me. "We had the advantage that we all arrived in the world at once and shared the confusion. I mean, I have a vague memory of agreeing to take on this role, but none of us remember why." He gives a derisive laugh. "In the house, we found a bizarre signed contract where we’d agreed to this. That’s it. No specified reward, training, any of that shit. Just a book about our predecessors and some ID. So, yeah, Vee, I partly understand why your head’s fucked. "
"You aren’t the original Horsemen?" I ask.
"Told you before, that’s a warped story."
"I bet your early days are quite a story too."
"A very long one."
His harsh tone shuts down my questions, and I slump back onto the bench. "I wish somebody had left me some bloody information. Was I in your book?"
"You were alluded to. We thought we were looking for "truth" as a concept, by uncovering deceit in the world. Then Xander announced he was sure you existed in reality and we had to find you."
