by Reana Malori
Tears began to fall from her eyes. The latest sappy Christmas romance movie played on her television. She was such an idiot. Apparently, Jordan was getting tired of doing whatever they’d been doing. Was he acting weird last weekend because he’d realized that he no longer wanted their friendship? Well, fuck him! She didn’t need his friendship. Wiping the hot tears from her eyes, she set her drink down on the coffee table and lifted from the couch. Placing her empty dish in the sink, she stood there for a moment before looking at the calendar. December 12th. Just thirteen days until Christmas and here she was. Alone. Pining over a man who hadn’t spared one thought about her in an entire week.
And no, texts and phone calls didn’t count. Maybe that didn’t make sense, but it was how she felt. Plus, it was Saturday. They usually spent their weekends together before he’d started flaking on her. Damn, could she be any more pathetic?
“All right, girl. Get it together. Stop thinking about him.” Pushing away from the counter, she looked at the time and saw that it was only just after five. That was it. She wasn’t going to sit inside moping any longer. If he could move on and do things without her, she could do the same. Dialing Cassie’s number, she plopped down on the couch as she waited for her friend to pick up the phone.
When her sunny, perpetually happy voice came on the other line, Leticia could do nothing but smile. “You’re speaking with the one and only Cassie.”
“Hey, girl. What’s up? What are you doing tonight?” No need to beat around the bush. Leticia had a plan.
Her friend was silent for a moment, “Not much actually. Was going to get caught up on my shows. Maybe get some online Christmas shopping done. Why? What’re you thinking?”
“I want to go out.” Laughter came through from the other line. Well, damn. It wasn’t that funny. “What’s so damn funny?”
“Nothing. Nothing. I mean, it’s just—well, you never call and ask me to go out. Not lately anyway. And aren’t you usually with that hunk of a man that you can’t seem to get rid of? I’m always the one calling you, begging and pleading you to go out.”
“I’m not begging you,” glad her friend couldn’t see the motion, Leticia crossed her arms in a huff. “If you don’t want to go, just say so. You ain’t gotta laugh at me and shit. Just rude.” Although she wasn’t all that upset at her friend, Cassie’s words highlighted just how much her life had come to revolve around Jordan. Something needed to change.
“I do. I do. I’m sorry, hon. But I do have to ask. Where’s Jordan? You guys are usually together on the weekends.”
I really didn’t want to tell her what was going on, but it needed to be said out loud. The longer I kept things to myself, the more it looked as if I were trying to hide it. That I was ashamed. Shame was not something I did well with. “I don’t know,” the words were bitter on my tongue. He was my friend. My best friend. And it was like he’d just dropped me. “I swear, I’m too old for this shit.”
“Wait? What? You don’t know? And what exactly are you too old for?”
Cassie’s tone had gone serious, but who could blame her? Not me, that’s for sure. She cared about me. She sat up with me as I poured my heart out to her about Jordan. How I felt about him. The life I wanted with him. It was like a fucking teenage soap opera. At thirty-three, life had given me enough lemons to make gallons of lemonade. I should know better.
Now I’d called out of the blue, asking her to go out, which is something I never do. If she called me out of the blue and asked to go to church on Sunday because she’d found Jesus, I’d think she’d lost her damn mind. Same concept.
Turning back to the conversation, all I heard was silence as my friend weighed the options of letting me loose on the public—with alcohol—or forcing me to stay inside where no one could see my misery if things went south.
“Listen, Cassie. I don’t know what the fuck is going on with Jordan. He picked me up last weekend and brought me home. He stayed over that night. Everything seemed cool—like normal. But when I woke up that next morning, he was gone. I had a text that he had to go do something with his family and he’d call me later. We’ve talked on the phone and text messages, but I haven’t seen him this entire week. It’s like he’s avoiding me.” My heart literally began to hurt as I relayed the situation to Cassie.
Maybe I’d waited too long to tell him how I felt about him. I’m surprised it took him this long to pull away. He spent all his time with me. Either at my home or his. Maybe he was tired of this non-relationship we had. I know I was. Then again, I wanted more with him while he seemed to want less.
“Fine. Let’s do it. I have this dress I’ve wanted to wear for a few months. Tonight’s a good night to bring it out. Dancing or just drinks?”
Thinking about it, I knew dancing was not what I needed tonight. But drinks sounded damn good. “Drinks sound good. I don’t want to go anywhere that has too many people, especially those without any common sense. I want a place for grown folks.”
“Then I have the perfect place. Meet you there at eight?”
A smile came over my face. “Yeah, eight sounds good. This is gonna be fun.” At least I tried to convince myself of that as I looked again to the Christmas tree that stood in the corner. A reminder of the man I was doing everything to forget.
CHAPTER FIVE
THIS PLACE WAS PERFECT. As Leticia walked down the stairs to the lounge beneath the famous hotel in the heart of DC, a smile came over her face. Looking down at her outfit, she felt her confidence grow. This had been the right idea. It was time for her to shake things up a bit. She’d taken the time to put her hair in a curly up-do, her natural coils falling perfectly, surrounding the smooth skin of her face. Her body was covered by a black bodycon dress that ended two inches above her knee. The scoop-neck collar dipped low and showed off the swell of her breasts. Her ass might be more than a handful and her breasts larger than a c-cup, but her waist never betrayed her. Stomach flat and tight, her hourglass figure was usually something she hid away from the prying eyes of others. Not tonight.
This was a moment she needed for herself. To prove she didn’t need a man to validate her. She was woman enough to validate her own damn self. The heels she wore was a one-time splurge. Teal stiletto heels with the beautiful red bottom so many loved. As she left her home, she’d taken a quick glance in the mirror and knew for a fact that she looked fucking fantastic tonight.
Take that Jordan.
Making her way to the bottom of the stairs, she paused for a moment to get her bearings. The ambiance of the place was laid back. Dark wood covered the walls, deep red accents were situated all over, whether at the tables, art covering the wall, and even the lights behind the large bar. Music played in the background as people milled about. Some stood, drink in hand, as they talked and laughed. Others sat at booths or tables, eating and drinking. But everyone was having a good time, which was what she needed. Hearing her name called out, she turned and saw Cassie waving as she sat near one corner of the bar.
Making her way through the tables and throngs of people, she could feel eyes on her. At any other time, she may have been annoyed and curled her lip in anger. But not tonight. Looks of appreciation was a soothing balm to her soul. Her smile was soft and friendly as she nodded at some of the men eyeing her.
“You finally made it,” her friend exclaimed, jumping out of her chair. Cassie threw her arms around Leticia and pulled her in closer. Didn’t matter that they’d seen each other on Thursday when Cassie finished her four-day workweek. Because of the hectic pace of their jobs, the hospital put everyone on four-day, ten-hour shifts with three days off to recuperate. It had been a blessing for her. She actually loved the new schedule.
“Of course, I did. I’m the one who called you. Remember?” Placing her clutch on the counter, she sat at the chair Cassie had reserved for her just as the waiter brought over a drink.
“Dirty martini, blue cheese olives for the beautiful lady.” Leticia was almost too stunned to answer. If she didn’
t know better, she’d mistake his friendly banter for flirting. Then again, flirting with him might be fun. His skin was lovingly kissed by the sun, his dark hair combed almost perfectly, green eyes surrounded by long lashes and a swoon-worthy smile. He looked to be a few inches over six feet. Oh, and he had big hands. Really big hands.
After a nudge from Cassie, a sputtered “Thank you,” managed to escape.
“You’re very welcome. Don’t worry, I’ll be back with you soon. Don’t go anywhere.”
“Nope. Not going anywhere. I’ll be right here.” She watched as he walked away to help another customer. Heat warmed her cheeks as he turned back to her and winked. “Oh my.” This is what she needed to boost her ego. Nothing like a fine ass man giving her a little extra attention. “You, uh, definitely picked the right place for tonight,” she said, smiling over at Cassie.
“Yeah, I know.” Flipping her hair over her shoulder, her friend tipped her drink back and swallowed the rest of her Cosmopolitan. That was new.
“Hey. You okay? I’ve never seen you take a drink back like that before.” Not that Cassie couldn’t handle her liquor, but their night just started. She wasn’t planning to end it anytime soon.
An hour later, they were both feeling good. The bartender had continued to eyeball her, flirting, giving her special attention. It felt good to be noticed. Lord knows if she were right in the head, she’d give him her number and see where things could go. But she wasn’t right in the head. Not by a longshot. All night, her mind kept conjuring up visions of Jordan. His voice. The cologne he loved so much. He still filled her thoughts, even when she was supposed to be angry with him.
For a second or two, it all came flooding back to her. The longing. The need. The pure desire she felt for Jordan. How did he not see it? Was she not enough for him? No. That didn’t make sense. She’d seen him react when other men paid attention to her. At times, she’d enjoyed his strong emotions, especially when they involved her. In her mind, she’d convinced herself that he was possessive of her because he wanted more. Nothing ever came from it though. The fire of jealousy or possessiveness would abate shortly after it flared, and they’d go back to how things always were.
She couldn’t do this to herself any longer. A tear escaped her eye as she reached up to stop the water from trailing down her cheek. This was not the time for sadness or regret. Her time with Jordan had been amazing. She loved every minute he’d been in her life. But now it was time to move on.
The bartender sat another drink down in front of her. “Thanks, but I was actually going to try something else.”
Leaning over the counter, he brought his handsome face closer to hers. “Beautiful, I’ll give you whatever you want. This,” he pointed at the drink he’d just sat down in front of her, “is from the man at the end of the bar. Happy to change it out for something else if you want.”
Shocked that someone would send her a drink, she looked in the direction the bartender pointed. A dark-haired man with swarthy skin returned her gaze. Damn. He’s sexy as fuck. Not that she was interested, per se, but this was the first time a man had ever sent her a drink in a bar. Giggling under her breath, she lifted the glass to him in acknowledgment and took a sip. Leticia turned to look over at Cassie and saw her talking with a tall, dark-skinned man. She seemed to be enjoying herself, which was good. Something was going on with her friend that was beginning to concern her. She may not be ready to talk about it now, but Cassie knew Leticia was there for her. And like a good friend, she’d be here to listen whenever her friend was ready to discuss it.
“Hope you like the drink,” a deep voice sounded next to her.
Turning her head, she caught the gaze of the man who’d bought her drink. “I do. Thank you.” Smiling up at him, she decided it was time to jump in with both feet. “I’m Leticia.”
“Hi, Leticia. A beautiful name for a gorgeous woman. I’m Stone.” Leaning up against the bar, his eyes caught her attention. Blue. Just like Jordan. No, not like Jordan. His eyes were darker. He seemed to hold secrets in his gaze.
“Well, hello there, Stone.”
RM
Jordan’s fists were squeezed so tight, he could feel his blunt nails tearing into the skin of his palms. Why the fuck was she here? And where the hell did that fucking dress come from? He’d never seen her in that on a night out with him. Yet, she brings her fine ass in here with all these hungry ass men staring at her like she’s a raw steak in front of a pack of wolves.
When she first walked in, appearing at the bottom of the stairs, he thought his eyes had been deceiving him. There was no way in hell Leticia had shown up in the one place he was at. Especially not when he had another woman sitting at the booth with him. His gaze slid over to the woman sitting next to him, and he cringed. Leticia would never understand why Meghan was here with him. Not after what happened in Jamaica. Hell, he didn’t even know why she was here, but she’d been the one he’d called. This was going to be a fucking disaster if Leticia turned her head in their direction.
He never should have contacted the viper sitting next to him, but he’d been inside his own head for over a week now. After finding Leticia’s wish list, his mind couldn’t focus on anything else. Sure, he had plans for her on Christmas, but in the meantime, he’d done everything he could to control his need to confront her about that damn list. Was she really thinking about finding someone else? Leaving him? Fuck anyone who said they weren’t in a relationship. They were, and now one could tell him different.
That she’d actually written down on a piece of paper that she’d move on, find someone else, still tore at something inside of him, even as he knew she was the only woman for him. Shaking his head at the anger trying to bubble up, he knew he had to get a grip. That she thought he’d allow her to move on from him was the craziest thing of all. She was his. Always would be.
Which still didn’t explain what the fuck he was doing here with Meghan. Jordan, you’ve fucked up, man. Thinking back to the last time he’d seen Leticia, he closed his eyes as the vision of her lying in her bed popped in his mind.
One Week Ago
His eyes opened, and he turned his head to look out the window. The sun was just peeking over the horizon, which meant it had to be around six in the morning. Turning back to the woman lying flush with his body, his gaze softened as he took in her form. Sometime during the night, she’d kicked the covers off her body. Wearing a pair of night shorts that fit her perfectly round ass as if they were made for her, a pink tank top that cupped her breasts, and a black headscarf, she looked like a fucking goddess. It almost hurt to look at her. She had no idea how much he wanted her. That everything he’d done for the past two years had been in response to meeting her. Even the stupid shit.
Hands itching to touch her soft skin, he held himself back from rubbing his fingers along her smooth legs. Ass curved into him, pressing against his hard cock. It would only take a few motions, and he could be deep inside her. Jordan clenched his jaw and stilled his hands. He wasn’t a fucking rapist. He wasn’t touching her without permission, even though God knows he wanted to. Lifting his phone from the side dresser, he confirmed the time. It was time for him to leave. Things were coming to a boiling point with him and Leticia.
He was tired of taking it slow. Closing his eyes, he leaned down low and inhaled. She always smelled so fucking good. Not only was it her unique scent that turned him the fuck on, she always wore the perfume he’d purchased for her that very first Christmas. Whenever she began to run out, she’d casually leave the bottle somewhere he’d see it, smiling cheekily when she noticed him picking it up to see how much was left.
Climbing out of bed, he made his way to her bathroom. Taking some time to relieve himself and brush his teeth with an extra toothbrush she kept for this purpose, he was ready to go in less than fifteen minutes. Standing near her after he’d gathered all his stuff, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. The plan had sounded so good when he’d first come up with it last night. His sister c
alled him a fucking idiot when he’d told her of his plans, but it didn’t matter. She didn’t understand just how serious this entire situation was. He had to know for sure. In his mind, this was the only way.
Leticia thought he didn’t feel the same way about her. That he didn’t love her. She was ready to leave him, end their…whatever this was…and find another man to please her. To love her. For her to even contemplate allowing another man to be with her, to sink inside her body, drove him crazy. It was the only thought that drove him. Why didn’t she just talk to him and ask? If she was so worried, why wouldn’t she come to him?
No, she’d rather sneak around and make lists behind his back. Conspire to just walk away and not look back. A hand lifted to rub the space where his heart resided. The pain radiating from inside him had been there since last night. He needed to leave. Time away from Leticia was the only thing he needed right now. Leaning down, he kissed her soft cheek, “You’re mine, Leticia.” Gathering up his items, he exited the condo and made his way down to his car.
There was no fool like a fool in love. It was time for him to stop the bullshit. He’d known Meghan wasn’t the answer but admitting how much that wish list had hurt him wasn’t something he was willing to do. Didn’t matter that she exposed her own feelings for him on that slip of paper. It was that she was comfortable with the idea of moving on to someone else. Allowing another man to hold her at night, kiss her soft lips, and make love—Oh, hell no!
“It’s time for you to go home.” His voice came out harsher than he’d anticipated, but it couldn’t be helped. Nerves frayed from watching men flirt with Leticia all night, he was on the verge of losing his entire fucking mind if he didn’t get over to her. Fuck this. Taking out a few bills, he threw them on the table.
