“It’s all right, I could see why you would be a little nervous.”
So they were going to continue this delicate dance. Neither of them actually letting on to the fact that they knew each other—unless, she really didn’t remember at all. It was a possibility. His ego wasn’t so large that he couldn’t believe the ten years that separated their one night together had caused her to forget about him. He had his own fun since that night, too.
But as he walked her back toward the examination room, he kept thinking back to the look on her face. All the right words came out of his mouth as they got settled into the room and he motioned her to sit on the examination table. An easy, rehearsed speech. Meanwhile, his eyes traced her body. When he caught her staring at him, their eyes locked and he quickly broke the contact, staring down at his chart.
It was more than time to be all business. There wasn’t room for error when the success of the study was riding on this last trial. If she wanted to pretend between them, he could roll with it.
He cleared his throat. “First of all, I’m sorry for the news you’ve been given, it must have been tremendously stressful. The good news is that it makes you an ideal candidate for my trials.”
Emma nodded softly, fiddling with her fingers in her lap as Sean went on.
“We will have to do some tests, of course, but based on your medical records, I believe you would be an ideal candidate for the modified IVF treatment I have been developing for the past five years. It’s a two-step process that involves egg retrieval and embryo implantation on the same day. It takes about eight hours to complete, maybe more or less, given your particular biology and reaction to the medication. Is that something that interests you, Miss Mahoney?”
“Yes, absolutely.”
“Excellent. Now, as you may already be aware, my technique has not been approved outside of this trial phase, but I can tell you that we have already had success with multiple patients. As part of your involvement I should underline that you would have to be committed to a lengthy and difficult hormone regime, along with dietary restrictions. You obviously have experience with taking hormones for IVF, but this round is a little more involved, and I like to forewarn anyone looking to participate in the study that they’re in for a bit of a roller coaster on the emotional side of things.”
“I appreciate that so much, Dr. Fisher…” Emma shifted and the paper beneath her crinkled as she blushed and looked down at the floor.
“If you have any questions or issues, please do voice them. I can assure you that no issue is too small.”
Emma nodded, bit her lower lip, and met his eyes so quickly that his heart nearly stopped in his chest.
“I’ve met you before, I mean, I know you. We knew each other, Sean.”
His name flying off her lips nearly made him fumble his clipboard. Pulse roaring in his temples, he cleared his throat.
“It’s been a long time,” she continued. “Ten years. When did you move to Chicago, Sean?”
Chapter 10
Emma
Emma was spurred on by Sean’s dumbfounded expression as she rambled, unsure whether she should have even opened Pandora’s box. But there was no way to stuff back her confession now that it was out in the air between them. There was no way to ignore the flutter in her belly that she had gotten the first time she saw him again. Or to hide her awkward handshake out in the waiting room when she had completely forgotten to let go of his hand. A few years had done nothing to dull down his good looks. If anything, he had gotten better with age. Though she had tried her best to play it cool, calm and collected, eventually her curiosity had won out.
“You remember me,” he said.
It was less of a question, more a sighed confirmation, and Emma nodded slowly, taking in the composed, successful, and clearly driven man standing in front of her.
“Of course I do.”
He seemed to be coming to terms with that while she worked her way over the fact that the conflicted, tormented man who had run away on a yacht ten years ago had clearly found his own path.
“I never thought I would see you again. Certainly not like this…”
“Yes, I, uh moved all over the place over the years, but I eventually settled on Chicago, planted roots, and started my clinic. I found my passion and I went for it.”
“I can see that, wow.” Emma couldn’t mask the awe in her voice as they stared at each other.
Sean chuckled and grinned, looking boyish, suddenly flashing her back to the tortured twenty-something on the yacht who thought he had no future but the one that was locked down for him. “You really inspired me that night, you know. In a way, you were a big part of this whole thing.”
She sensed her face flush and she blinked back unexpected emotions that bubbled up to the surface as they both sat in silence, absorbing each other’s presence after so much time had passed.
“Well, you’re clearly good at what you do, Sean. Or should I call you Dr. Fisher?”
“Sean is fine. Emma?”
“Also fine.”
“Great.” He looked back down at her file and took a pen out of his coat, making some kind of notation on her file. “Do you have any other questions or concerns?”
And just like that, they were back to business. Which was absolutely fine, Emma thought. It wasn’t as if she lived in a fantasy world where this gorgeous man, having remembered their time together ten years ago for one night, would get down on one knee and propose, having been waiting his whole life to find her again. She choked back a laugh and covered her mouth. Yeah, right.
“No, it all seems to make sense to me,” she said. “You’re passionate about what you do, and it shows.”
That earned her a huge grin as Sean blushed, looking down at his chart and clearly fumbling for the right words.
“Thank you, I do really love owning this place and you’re the perfect candidate to round off my study. If you sign some waivers and contracts, I can explain a few extra steps to you and we can load you up with hormones to take home with you.”
“That sounds…perfect.”
Emma could barely contain herself. So much was falling into place all at once, where so much of her future had previously been closed off. Only a week ago, she had fallen apart in Allison’s backyard. So much had shifted in so short a time, and she could barely wrap her mind around it.
“My secretary will take care of communicating with your nominated sperm bank—you just concentrate on taking your hormones on time, okay?”
Emma nodded.
“Great. Now I just need you to read, agree, and sign here,” Sean walked over and handed her a thick sheaf of papers that seemed to weigh five pounds or more as she cradled it. “It’s a lot of paper, I know, but we’ll go over it all step by step. I want to make sure you understand and are agreeing with everything.”
“Thank you.”
She smiled, grateful to him for going above and beyond any bedside manner she had been the recipient of in the past. He walked her through permissions, procedures, and enough regulations that she thought maybe her eyes were crossing, but once he was done and everything had been signed, he broke out the big guns.
“Here we have everything in your making-a-baby starter kit.”
She swore the package was bigger than an eighteen-wheeler.
“Remember to take it one step at a time.”
Chapter 11
Emma
One Month Later
Emma stuffed another pair of slippers into her overnight bag and triple-checked her packing list for her appointment the following morning. They had finally reached the big day, her and Sean, together.
“God, that sounds insane, Emma,” she admonished herself out loud. “You act like you’re having the baby with him. Get a grip, woman!”
Well, honestly, it had really been by herself. She had been the one administering injections, taking pills, and tracking everything in an enormous spreadsheet.
The hormones had already done a number on
her—the other day, she had cried while picking up baby cucumbers at the grocery store. It was pathetic and also hilarious. As a result, she had started a group chat with Allison and Makenzie to make fun of the spur-of-the-moment mood swings that now ruled her life. Allison was in on the fun as she was just as bad. She was due to go into labor any day now and they were all on high alert.
As she stood in the middle of her room, flustered by her compulsion to overpack, Emma found herself wishing that she could have counted on someone to be there. To help her through the process. Although she had an amazing support system in her friends and family, there were times where things seemed so…overwhelming. Plus, she couldn’t get Sean out of her head. With her libido on a rampage thanks to the hormones, he was dominating a majority of her thoughts. Unless she was crying. Or hungry. Or angry.
Although, the other day, all of those emotions had combined into one super storm cloud and she had raged at a pillow for forty-five minutes pretending it was Sean’s head for getting her to agree to his crazy scheme. Some days it felt like she made a deal with Dr. Frankenstein and other days she was nothing but grateful.
But she really needed to kick her butt into high gear if she was going to get to bed at a reasonable hour in time to see her favorite doctor in the office for the big procedure. He had her on the books bright and early, and she wasn’t going to risk early morning traffic taking even a second away from her tomorrow.
Chirp. Chirp. Ring.
Emma dived for the phone. She knew that ringtone—it was the one she had assigned for Allison while they were in baby-watch mode. She had to clear off half her bed to find the still chirping cell phone tangled up in a bra at the bottom.
“Hello?” she answered, almost breathless.
“Hi, sweetheart! I know tomorrow’s your big day and I hate to steal your thunder…but he’s coming around the mountain right now. We’re driving to the hospital and we have a sitter with Ady tonight until tomorrow.”
“Oh my God, congratulations!” Emma walked backward feeling around with one hand until she located her chair and sat down as tears clouded her vision. “I’m so happy for you both. Thank you for calling me.”
“I knew you would want to be the first to know.” Allison groaned lightly and there was some muffled conversation in the background. “I know you’ve got your procedure tomorrow, and we don’t know how long this kiddo is going to take, so don’t worry about getting here tonight, okay?”
“But—”
“No, none of that from you. We knew this was a possibility and I’ll have plenty of supportive people around me. You concentrate on getting your own little miracle started for me, okay?”
Emma nodded silently, forcing back her sobs as her shoulders racked with both joy and fear for herself and her best friend. Allison was right, of course she was right. But Emma still hated the fact that she wouldn’t be there in her time of need.
“Are you there, hon?”
“Yeah, I’m here…” Emma rasped with a sniffle. “Thanks so much. I love you.”
“I love you too. We’ve got this, don’t forget it, okay?”
“You’re right,” Emma agreed, staring off into space. “You’ll have Stewart text me as soon as he’s born?”
“Of course, with as many newborn pictures as you can handle without totally exploding.” There was a slight shudder of sound before Allison moaned again. “I got to go, girlie. Shit is getting real over here. Be careful and I love you.”
Before Emma could say anything else, her best friend hung up the phone. Which was fine, because it seemed like she had rung out all of the tears that ever existed in her body and she needed a break.
For what seemed like forever, Emma sat in the silence, gathering herself. Really allowing the knowledge of what was happening right this moment with her best friend and what was going to happen tomorrow for her to sink in.
Well, if she had been looking for an amazing distraction for Dr. McHottie Pants, she had found it. That was for sure.
Chapter 12
Sean
Sean paused in the middle of pacing and looked at his watch.
“She’s still coming—she just texted me from a cab. Calm down.” Sophia rolled her eyes with a smile as she popped her head into his office. “Which means it’s time for you to scrub up and meet her in the gallery. Think you can handle it?”
“I’m fine.”
“Mm-hmm, that’s why it looks like you’re going to tear out your hair while you pace back and forth across this tiny little office. Do yourself a favor and take a breath. We’ve been waiting a long time for today.”
In more ways than one, Sean thought. Sophia had no idea of his and Emma’s shared history or the bundle of nerves in his stomach that had nothing to do with his final procedure and everything to do with seeing her again.
Weeks had passed since their initial consultation, and he’d barely stopped thinking about her since she’d left his office. It was beyond pathetic. He had even begun to have Sophia do frequent care checks on her, more than biweekly as he did for all his other patients undergoing the procedure. Luckily, his secretary shrugged off his obsessiveness, knowing that Emma was the last successful implantation he needed in order to take his advancements into the mainstream.
But, damn it, it was so much more than that.
He couldn’t deny that their connection was still present. Still absolutely electric, in fact. Even with all the medical jargon thrown in the mix, at the consultation he had found himself captivated by Emma’s beauty, wanting to stroke her neck or kiss her again. Instead, he had kept a tight hold on his impulses and walked her through the process, knowing that it wasn’t in any way ethical to jeopardize his doctor and patient relationship. Anything that went on between them, even thinking about it in the first place, was a red-tape nightmare waiting to happen including stripping him of his license and possibly tanking the whole study.
So while his hands balled into fists at his sides, he convinced himself that he had gone this long without having her again. He could make it until the trial was over and he would never have to see her again. Problem solved. The end.
Now all he had to manage was several hours of complicated, pioneering surgery. But that would be a no-brainer compared to the betraying thoughts in his head.
Sophia poked her head in the doorway without knocking
“She’s here and the team are getting her prepped for surgery,” she said. “We all good in here?”
“Everything is perfect. I’ll be there.”
He sensed his secretary’s disapproving eyes on him and when he turned around, her face was a perfect mask of innocence. But he knew she was questioning his ability to go through with the surgery. Hell, he was questioning it too. He had never been so full of…everything. Maybe this is what his patients felt like going through hormones. He made a mental note to ask one of them and before he could overthink again, he ducked out of his office, past Sophia, and went back into the locker room to change into his scrubs and prepare for the implantation surgery.
The next time he saw Emma, she was being wheeled on a gurney by his two surgical assistants and the anesthesiologist. She had a giant blanket tucked up past her chest and one of the assistants was bending down to talk with her while Sean scrubbed his hands in the large steel sink and watched through the glass windows.
“God, she’s gorgeous,” he breathed out, shaking the stupid out of his skull. Yeah, talk more like that and that’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Still, he couldn’t deny that even through the light-reflecting window, without a bit of makeup, Emma looked beautiful.
He closed his eyes and took a deep, centering breath. So long as he was her doctor, he had to keep his head in the game. Remove his feelings about Emma from the equation and treat her body like a puzzle to be solved, nothing more or less until his job was done. Sean quickly shoved himself back into the right headspace, the one he used to separate people from their surgeries.
When he pushed th
rough the door into the gallery using his back, the strong scent of antiseptic hit his nose. Some people found it off-putting. To him, it smelled like home.
He strode over right as they transferred her from the gurney to the operating table.
“How are you feeling this morning? A little early, huh?”
Emma nodded groggily with a shaky smile. They must have given her something to relax already along with the numbing drugs.
“Nothing to be worried about. This will be quick and painless, and before you know it, you’ll be awake. Okay?”
She nodded again with that cute, dopey, half-there smile. Sean nodded to the anesthesiologist who started pushing fluids through the IV to make her sleep. Any minute now…
Emma was out like a light. For a brief second, her face looked exactly the way he remembered it the morning after their night together. Angelic, peaceful, and glowing. Which was a hard feat to accomplish in the yellow glare of the hospital lights. Sean swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat. She stirred a bit in her sleep and he stood there like an idiot.
“Are you ready, doctor? Her blood pressure is steady.”
Sean nodded to one his nurses and they both went to work prepping her while he focused on the instruments laid out for him. His entire career hinged on this surgery. He stretched his fingers, feeling the tendons crackle and pop. They were his tools, and they wouldn’t let him down today. Neither would his ridiculous fascination with this woman.
“Focus, Sean,” he muttered to himself before he rolled his shoulders. “Time to go to work.”
Chapter 13
Emma
A slow, rolling nausea worked through her gut as she climbed back through the layers of consciousness. For a series of moments, she felt like she was back underwater as the darkness and suffocating sea churned around her, pushing her down. She was powerless to stop it.
The Baby Plan Page 6
