Danny Constantino's First (and Maybe Last?) Date

by Paul Acampora

  “Who said anything about rom-coms? I learned first aid from horror movies. Of course,” she adds, “horror can be a lot like romances.”

  Despite the fact that I live in a town where Halloween is a bigger deal than Easter, Ramadan, and Chinese New Year combined, I do not enjoy horror movies. On the other hand, the duct-tape bandage on my foot suggests they might be useful for something.

  “Of course,” adds Zoey, “horror can be a lot like romances, but with murdering instead of meet-cute.”

  I think back on my language arts homework. Zoey and I are in the same class. “If ‘Aschenputtel’ were a movie, would it be rom-com or horror?”

  Zoey nods thoughtfully. “It’s got bloody mutilations, a charming prince, an evil stepmother, some eye-pecking pigeons, and a happily ever after ending. I’d say it’s both.”

  “Things can be both?”

  “Read Dracula,” Zoey tells me. “Or how about Bride of Frankenstein? And let’s not forget Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies.”

  “Who could forget Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies?”

  “That’s a romantic zombie comedy,” Zoey tells me. “Also known as a rom-zom-com.”

  Before I can ask if rom-zom-whatever is an actual thing, Mrs. Kalli rushes into the room with Ajay right behind her. “Danny,” says Mrs. Kalli. “What happened?”

  Mrs. Kalli is a pharmacist at Cuper Cove Hospital. Ajay and Asha’s dad works there too. He’s some kind of heart doctor. I guess that’s why the first aid kit in Ajay’s arms is bigger than a small suitcase.

  “Don’t worry,” Asha tells her mom. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

  I try to sit up, but Zoey pushes me back to the floor. “Don’t make me chop off that foot and eat it.” She grins. “And thanks to the movies, I know how to do it.”

  I lie back down.

  Mrs. Kalli kneels beside me and starts to peel Zoey’s bandage away from my foot. “In general, I do not recommend duct tape as a treatment option.”

  “What’s going on?” asks a familiar voice from the front of the garage.

  I tilt my head back to see who’s standing behind me in the open doorway. Even upside down, I recognize Mom and Gram. They’re with a third woman I don’t know. A fourth person, standing in bright sunlight, is nothing but a silhouette. I assume the two strangers are house shopping with Mom. She probably dragged them here when Ajay or Mrs. Kalli called to say I had an accident. After a week of being the center of attention, it would be nice if I could do one thing without an audience. “Nothing to see here,” I call out. “It’s just your basic self-inflicted knife wound. Please move along.”

  “That’s funny,” says Gram. “Because it looks like you’re about to get your foot amputated.”

  “We don’t have to amputate.” I look up at Mrs. Kalli. “Do we?”

  “We do not have to amputate,” Mrs. Kalli promises.

  “So you’ll still be able to dance?” asks the silhouette.

  “You’re assuming he was able to dance before he stuck the knife in his foot,” says Ajay.

  “Why did you stick a knife in your foot?” asks Mom.

  I don’t answer because I just figured out the identity of the silhouette. “Natalie?”

  “Hi, Danny,” says Natalie Flores Griffin.

  A little bit of twisting and turning gets me onto my elbows. I try to sit up, but I put too much weight on the lawn chair. It snaps shut on my foot like a bear trap.

  “That must have hurt,” says Gram.

  I lie back on the garage floor. “A little bit.”

  “Are you okay?” Natalie asks.

  I stare at the ceiling and pretend that my foot is not exploding like a volcano made out of pain. “Totally fine,” I say.

  “Natalie and her mother got to your house just a few minutes ago,” Gram tells me.

  I nod, and with the folding chair still snapped shut over my ankle, I roll onto my side. I prop my head in my hand and give Natalie a big smile. “Welcome back to Cuper Cove.”

  Zoey leans against Ajay and whispers just loud enough for me to hear, “Total meet-cute.”

  Chapter 12

  in time the savage bull doth bear the yoke

  Zoey and Asha help me escape from the lawn chair while Gram makes introductions and Ajay runs back into the house to get me a new pair of socks. I’m sure he’s just looking for an excuse to leave while his mom cleans up all the blood. Still, it is October, so I definitely appreciate the socks.

  Mrs. Kalli presses something called a butterfly bandage to my skin, then helps me into a sitting position. “It was not as bad as it looked,” she tells me.

  “It looked very bad,” says Ajay when he returns with socks.

  “Not to worry,” says Mrs. Kalli. “Danny will dance again.”

  “Only if you teach him a few moves first,” Zoey tells Natalie, who hasn’t said much yet.

  “I’ve got moves,” I say once I’m back on my feet.

  My grandmother points at the collapsed lawn chair on the floor. “We saw your moves, Danny.” She turns and pats Natalie on the back. “Good luck, dear.”

  Natalie smiles. She’s got a really pretty smile, plus dark brown hair and a soft, round face. Also, and I don’t mean this in a bad way, her nose is bigger in real life than it looks on the screen. Actually, in real life she looks a lot more like I remember her than she does in the movies. I mean, she’s definitely taller. She’s also prettier than she was in fourth grade. Okay, who am I kidding? She’s the most attractive person I’ve ever seen in my life. But at the same time, Natalie just looks like a normal seventh grader in jeans, sneakers, a denim jacket, and a T-shirt that says ANGEL CITY ROLLER DERBY.

  “Can I help with . . .” She looks around the garage. “Whatever you’re doing?”

  “Sure,” I say. “But what are you doing here?”

  Suddenly, I’m on the receiving end of several dirty looks from both family and friends.

  “I’m sorry,” I say. “That didn’t come out right. We didn’t expect you till next week.”

  “But we’re really glad you’re here,” adds Asha.

  “Danny was going to say that,” Ajay tells his sister.

  “I was going to say that,” I tell Natalie.

  “The movie I’m on right now is either ahead of schedule or behind schedule,” Natalie explains. “I’m not sure which.”

  “Do you mean . . .” I begin to ask.

  “I can’t talk about it,” she reminds me. “Either way, the director let us go a few days early.”

  “We decided to come out and spend some extra time with my sister,” adds Natalie’s mom, who’s wearing a heavy, rose-covered fleece over a pair of jeans and sneakers. Mrs. Griffin looks more like a pretty kindergarten teacher than a Hollywood mogul.

  “And I wanted to come over and surprise you.” Natalie shuffles her feet a little. “I hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s definitely okay!” I say. “And I am very surprised.”

  “In a good way,” says Ajay.

  “He was going to say that,” Asha tells her brother.

  “I was going to say that,” I tell Natalie.

  She gives me another smile. “This is lots better than talking to you on the phone.”

  Asha gets a big grin on her face. “You’ve been talking on the phone?”

  “Almost every day,” Natalie shares.

  I feel my face burn red.

  “When were you going to share this important piece of information?” Asha asks me.

  “Yeah,” says Ajay. “When were you going to share this important piece of information?”

  “You guys,” says Zoey. “Danny is not the kind of person who talks on the phone and tells.”

  I’m not positive, but I think Zoey means that as a compliment.

  “Let’s leave these kids alone,” sa
ys Gram. “They’ll be fine.”

  Natalie’s mom glances at the blood-soaked sock balled up on the floor. “Are you sure?”

  “Don’t worry,” says Asha. “I’ll keep an eye on them.”

  This would be a lot more reassuring if Asha weren’t still clutching a utility knife like a weapon. Not surprisingly, Mrs. Griffin appears reluctant to leave her daughter with a bunch of bloody strangers wielding sharp objects.

  “I was just about to make myself a cup of tea,” Mrs. Kalli says to Mom, Gram, and Mrs. Griffin. “Perhaps you would like to join me?”

  Mrs. Griffin apparently decides that she’ll be close enough to rush outside and save Natalie if necessary, so the adults head into the house. Once they’re gone, Zoey points at Natalie’s T-shirt, which shows an intense-looking helmeted girl with wings. “Do you like roller derby?” Zoey asks.

  Natalie nods. “I’m in a junior league.”

  “Isn’t roller derby kind of violent?” asks Ajay.

  “Sometimes.” Natalie shoots me a quick smile. “But I try to think kind and peaceful thoughts when I’m doing it.”

  Have I mentioned that Natalie has a really pretty smile?

  “Do you want to see our secret project?” Ajay asks her.

  “Am I allowed to see it if it’s a secret?” Natalie asks.

  “You’re here now,” says Ajay. “That makes you part of the team. We don’t keep secrets from the team.”

  Okay. So he’s definitely mad I didn’t mention the calls with Natalie. He’ll just have to get over it.

  Zoey grabs a fat folder off a nearby workbench and begins to pull out sketches and plans for our Trojan unicorn. One by one, she hands them to Natalie, who examines each drawing carefully. “This is amazing,” Natalie says.

  Zoey actually blushes. “We made it so that you can come to the parade with us.”

  Ajay shows Natalie the tall wooden frame we’ve already assembled. “We’ll attach the cardboard body to the frame, then bolt everything to a plywood base that rolls. You can ride on the inside.”

  “We’ve still got to figure out how to attach wheels to the platform,” I point out.

  “Only if you want it to roll,” says Asha.

  “Which we do,” I say.

  “I bet you could modify a metal bracket for the wheel mount,” Natalie suggests. “It should probably go on a piece of two-by-four, and you’ll need a couple lock washers and a hex nut to keep the axles in place.” She makes a quick sketch to help us understand what she means. “That setup won’t last forever, but it should be good enough for a day or two.”

  Ajay studies the drawing. “That’s a really good idea,” he says.

  “I like making things,” Natalie tells us. “I want to be an engineer one day. My hero is Hedy Lamarr.”

  “Who’s Hedy Lamarr?” asks Ajay.

  “She was one of the biggest names from the Golden Age of Hollywood,” offers Zoey. “She was a leading lady with Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable and pretty much anybody who was anybody. Some people say she was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was the inspiration for Cat Woman and for Walt Disney’s Snow White. She played Delilah in Samson and Delilah, but my favorite Hedy Lamarr movie is—”

  “Her Highness and the Bellboy?” says Natalie.

  “How did you know?” asks Zoey.

  Natalie smiles. “Danny told me you like romantic comedies. I love the part where Hedy Lamarr learns she’s going to be queen, and the bellboy thinks he’s going to be king.”

  “You’ve really seen it!” says Zoey.

  “What does this have to do with engineering?” asks Ajay.

  “Hedy Lamarr was also an amazing inventor and a self-taught engineer,” Natalie tells him. “I did a report about her for school. At the same time she was starring in the movies, she made breakthroughs in aerodynamics, she played around with chemistry, she even created a better stoplight. But her most important work was in communications systems. Her inventions paved the way for Wi-Fi, GPS, and bunch of other technology we use in cell phones now. I hope I can be a little bit like her.”

  Zoey points at Natalie’s sketch for the wheel mount. “You’re on the right track.”

  “For engineering and for beauty,” says Asha.

  Now it’s Natalie’s turn to blush.

  “Don’t be embarrassed,” says Zoey. “We were all thinking it.”

  Asha grabs a pair of safety glasses and lowers them over her face. “Ladies, it’s time to make stuff.”

  Ajay crosses his arms across his chest. “I am no lady.”

  Asha laughs at her brother. “I agree. And we should probably keep Danny away from pointy things for a while too.”

  Ajay and I head inside to get snacks for everybody. I’m surprised to find no one sitting in the kitchen, but voices come from the living room down the hall. I peek around the corner and see that Mrs. Kalli is serving plates of fruit, cupcakes, and a kind of banana fritter that is so delicious that I’m tempted to barge in and steal one for myself. I return to the kitchen and corner Ajay, who is standing on a step stool and pulling snack foods out of a closet. “Your mother made pazham pori!” I tell him.

  “She won’t let us near them,” he warns me.

  “I thought she was just going to make tea.”

  Ajay laughs. “Have you met my mother?”

  I glance at a plaque covered in Sanskrit script hanging above the kitchen sink. I can’t actually read it, but Mrs. Kalli let me know that it is a phrase common in India. It means The guest is equivalent to God. In other words, hospitality is a big deal in this house.

  Ajay piles pretzels, potato chips, and a package of cookies into my arms. I grab a huge bag of red licorice too.

  Back in the garage, we find Zoey mixing paint. Asha is drilling a hole through a piece of metal, and Natalie’s slicing up cardboard with the utility knife. “Be careful with that,” I tell her.

  Natalie lowers the knife. “Check this out.” She attaches a jewel-shaped cutout to a long strip of cardboard that’s rolled and taped into a crown-sized circle. She staples a pair of intricate cardboard wings on either side of a crown that now looks like an amazing battle helmet. She lowers the whole thing over her head. “What do you think?”

  “That’s awesome!” I say. And it really is.

  “It’s more Norse god than Trojan War,” Natalie says a little apologetically.

  “Don’t worry,” Zoey tells her. “Unicorns love Valkyries.”

  “This is what it will look like when it’s done.” Natalie takes out her phone and shows us a picture of a winged headpiece that looks like it’s constructed out of silver, bronze, and leather.

  Asha leans forward. “You can make that?”

  “I spend a lot of time with the prop people when I’m on set. You’d be surprised at how much you can do with duct tape, cardboard, and spray paint.” She removes the winged helmet and places it on Asha’s head. “This one’s for you.”

  Asha puts a hand to the cardboard wings on her head. “But—”

  “I’m going to make a Spartan helmet that covers my whole face,” Natalie tells her. “That way I can pull the unicorn without anybody recognizing me.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that,” Ajay reminds her. “You’re going to be on the inside.”

  Natalie places both hands on her hips, tilts her head back, and replies with a voice that could fill an auditorium. “In time the savage bull doth bear the yoke.”

  Apparently, Natalie intends to pull the unicorn.

  “Helmet or not,” I tell her. “People will know who you are if you go around quoting lines from Mutant Zombie Soul Pirates all day.”

  Natalie laughs. “Danny, that’s Shakespeare.”

  “Natalie,” says Ajay. “Mutant Zombie Soul Pirates was good, but it wasn’t that good.”

  Chapter 13
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  you can never have too many battle helmets

  By the time Gram and our moms are done chatting in Mrs. Kalli’s living room, Natalie and I have assembled several cardboard battle helmets. “You can never have too many battle helmets,” she tells me.

  Meanwhile, Asha and Ajay have created four new wheel mounts thanks to Natalie’s directions and a bag of old metal brackets we found at the bottom of a toolbox. Also, Zoey’s mostly finished cutting out the unicorn, which, when assembled, will be the size of a small school bus. Perhaps just as importantly, there have been no additional injuries.

  “Natalie,” says Mrs. Griffin when she returns to the garage, “let’s head to your aunt’s house and wash up. We’re having dinner tonight with Danny and his mother.”

  I remember that Gram is hosting her garden club this evening. I’m not sure if her absence will be a good thing or a bad thing.

  “I hope everybody likes Italian,” Mom announces. “When your name is Constantino, everything is Italian.”

  “I bet there’s no spinach smoothies in Naples,” Gram mutters.

  Probably it’s a good thing that Gram’s not joining us.

  Natalie removes the safety glasses still covering her face. “Thanks for letting me help,” she says to all of us.

  Asha gives her a big smile. “You should come back tomorrow.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “So would we,” says Zoey.

  Ajay puts his hands on his hips. “I was going to say that.”

  Natalie glances at Mrs. Griffin, who gives a nod. “Great,” Natalie says. “See you tomorrow.”

  She’s barely gone when Asha starts jumping up and down like a third grader who just learned she’s getting a pony. “This is happening! This is really happening!”

  “This is happening to Danny,” Ajay points out. “Not to you.”

  Asha ignores her brother. “One day, when Natalie and Danny are married and they have five or seven kids, we will visit their big house in California, and we’ll look back and know that it all started today!”

  “Whoa!” I say. “What’s with the five or seven kids?”