by TJ Klune
I turned my head.
Kelly stood there. He looked different. He wore a coat, heavy and black, zipped up the front. He had dark circles under his eyes, cheeks flushed red. He took a stuttering step forward.
I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please don’t disappear again. I need you.”
His expression crumpled as he rushed forward, stripping his coat off. He fell to his knees next to me, and then I was surrounded by the scent of him, and it was like he was there. It was like he was real. It felt like home, and I said, “Why are you crying? Please don’t. I can’t stand it when you cry.”
He said, “What happened to you? Oh my god, Carter, what happened to you?”
“I don’t know. Did I scare you?”
“You bastard,” he said, rubbing my arms through his coat, his face streaked with tears. “You fucking asshole. Do you know how long I’ve been—”
“I wish you were real,” I told him, needing him to understand. “I wish you were here so I could be strong again. So I can be brave again. My phone broke. I had your phone number, but it broke. I always wanted to call you. I howled. Did you know that? At the full moons. I howled for you to hear me just like I said I would.”
He said, “Stay here, don’t move, stay here.” And then he was up and running.
I did as he asked.
I stayed.
His coat was warm on my chest. It didn’t do much for my legs, but that was okay. I inhaled deeply and laughed at how odd this was. How strange. It was like he was real. It was like he was—
I sat up slowly at the sound of crashing through the trees.
It was coming toward me.
My legs were shaky as I stood.
Kelly appeared again. His eyes were wide, and he skidded to a stop when he saw me.
He said, “Carter?”
And it was then I heard it.
Something I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
His heart.
I heard his heartbeat.
Not-Kelly never had a beating heart, no matter how hard I tried.
Not-Kelly was a ghost, and ghosts didn’t have hearts.
But this Kelly did. It was the loudest sound in all the world.
And then someone else appeared beside him.
He was bigger than I remembered. Stronger. Greater. More. I felt it wash over me, Alpha Alpha Alpha.
I said, my voice fractured like glass, “Are you… are you real?”
And Joseph Bennett said, “Carter. You’re….” I watched as a single tear slid down from one of his red, red eyes.
Kelly’s shoulders shook.
Joe’s chest hitched.
I sank to my knees in the snow.
They came for me.
They engulfed me, and it was frantic, the way their hands rubbed against my face. My hair. My chest. My back. They were talking over each other, each of them saying my name again and again and again.
Joe, Joe, Joe took my face in his hands. His thumbs brushed away the tears as he breathed heavily through his nose. He studied me with blue eyes, and I swore for a moment it was our mother who held me.
Joe said, “His eyes. They’re violet. He’s Omega.”
Kelly said, “Can you find it? Can you find him?”
Joe said, “He’s there. It’s faint, but it’s there. I can—”
Kelly said, “Do it. Make him hear you. Do it now.”
Joe’s eyes turned to fire, and white hair sprouted along his neck and face. And something shifted in my head and chest, and it felt alive, a mass of roiling, knotted threads. They shuddered. They quaked.
And then Joe roared.
It was the song of an Alpha.
It slammed into me and I—
“WHERE’S YOUR BROTHER?” a boy asked me.
“I don’t know,” I muttered. I looked back over my shoulder. A group of girls was following us, whispering to each other. When I looked at them they giggled, waving and blushing. I could hear the sounds of Caswell in the distance, the lapping of the waves from Butterfield Lake. But Joe was gone. He’d been calling to me to wait up, that he couldn’t run as fast as we could, Carter, Carter, I’m going to tell Dad!
“He’s always following you,” another boy said. He had a mean face, and I didn’t like him much. “Both of your brothers do. It’s annoying.”
I glared at him. “They’re not annoying.” They were, but only I could say that. They were my brothers, not his. “Don’t talk about them like that.”
“He’s going to be the Alpha of all,” the first boy said, shoving the second. “Better watch your mouth or he’ll kick you out of the pack.”
“Whatever,” the second boy said. “I’m not scared of him. He’s just a little kid. He’s not the Alpha of anything.” He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “My dad says that Bennetts don’t deserve to be in control. They ruin everything they touch.” His smile widened. “Can’t even keep their own pack safe.” He leaned forward. “What was it like when the hunters came? Did you see them kill anyone? Was there a lot of blood?”
My father told me the only time I could hit someone was when I was protecting myself. That I needed to set an example. People looked up to me because of my name. I had to be the better person, he told me. I had to be just and kind.
I said, “Raise your hands.”
The boy looked at me. “What?”
“Raise your hands. Put them in fists like you’re gonna punch me.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why?”
“I want to see your fighting stance. Dad’s been teaching us new stuff. I want to show you.”
The boy’s smile faded. “I don’t….”
“Come on, man. Do it. Let me see your stance.”
He spread his legs. He raised his arms. His hands curled into fists. “Like this?”
“Move your thumb. If you keep it like that, it’ll break if you punch someone.”
He moved his thumb. “Better?”
I nodded. I looked at the first boy. “Does it look like he’s going to attack me?”
The first boy shrugged. “I guess.”
“Good.” I turned back to the second boy. He stood there, fists raised. He screamed when I punched him in the goddamn mouth. His lips split, blood spilling and staining his teeth.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” he howled, putting his hands to his face.
“Don’t talk about my brothers again,” I told him. “If you do, I won’t hold back next time.”
He was crying, his nose bloodied and broken.
He stumbled backward.
The girls weren’t laughing anymore.
I left them behind.
“Joe!” I called as I headed back toward Caswell. “Hey, Joe! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you. Come on out. You want to play? We can do whatever you want, I promise.”
He didn’t answer.
I told myself it was okay. It was fine. Nothing was wrong. He was probably snitching back at the house. I was going to get in trouble.
I walked through Caswell, looking for him. People waved. Witches. Wolves. Humans. They said, hey, Carter, hey, what’s up? Good to see you, Carter. Yo, Carter!
I said, “Joe. Joe!”
I went to the house. It was a big house. It was a nice house. I hated it. It wasn’t home. And even though I’d been here longer than I ever was in Green Creek, I knew it wasn’t where we were supposed to be. It didn’t feel right.
Kelly sat on the porch, an open book in his lap. He looked up at me as I approached. “What are you doing?” His voice was high-pitched and wobbly. I loved him more than I could ever say.
“Did Joe come back?”
He shook his head. “I’ve been here for almost an hour. He hasn’t gone inside.”
“Shit.” I whirled around, scanning the compound, listening as best I could for that birdlike heart that beat in my little brother’s chest.
“You cussed,” Kelly said, sounding awed.
> “We need to find Joe.”
I heard Kelly stand behind me. “You were supposed to be watching him.” It wasn’t an accusation. Not from him. It was merely statement of fact. But it still burned.
“Help me.”
He did. We ran through the compound, looking everywhere we could think of. In the school. On the docks. In the garden that belonged to a kindly old witch who was blind but could see the future, or so it was said.
He wasn’t there.
He wasn’t anywhere.
Panic clawed at my chest.
“Joe!” I shouted.
“What’s wrong?” a deep voice said, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.
Kelly and I turned around.
There, standing with a strange smile on his face, was my father’s second.
I said, “Have you seen Joe?”
Richard Collins shook his head slowly. “Have you lost him?”
“No,” I snapped at him. “I didn’t lose him. I just can’t find him.”
He laughed. “Oh, I see. Well. I’m sure he hasn’t gone far. I’ll keep an eye out for him. Run along, little princes. You should notify your father. He’ll want to know.”
I didn’t want that.
I didn’t want my father to be angry with me.
To tell me I should have been watching Joe.
That he was my responsibility.
“I don’t like him,” Kelly whispered as Richard walked away, heading toward the front gates.
“I don’t either. Come on. Maybe Joe’s back at the house already.”
He wasn’t.
And it was as we were climbing the steps that we felt it.
Fear. Through the bonds. It was a small thing, because Joe was a small thing.
But he was scared.
We barely made it to the door before it burst open, banging against the side of the house. Our father was there, eyes red, nostrils flaring. He saw us, and we cowered before him. He said, “Where is he?”
And I said, “Dad, I—”
He pushed by us, tilting his head back. He roared, and it filled the world, consuming all other sound. The people of Caswell stopped what they were doing. Every single one of them. They looked to my father as his call echoed over the lake.
Mom appeared on the porch, her hand at her throat. “Thomas?” she asked, voice wavering. “What is… what’s wrong?”
“Joe,” Dad said. “Something’s happened to Joe.” He glanced back at me. “He was with you. Where did he go?”
I hung my head. “I don’t…. Dad. I didn’t—”
A man appeared as if out of nowhere. He stood before my father, bowing low. “Alpha,” Osmond said. “What’s happened?”
“My son,” Dad said through gritted fangs. “Lock Caswell down. No one gets in or out. Now.”
Osmond hurried away.
“Joe!” Mom shouted as she came off the porch. “Joe!”
He didn’t answer.
And later, as we moved through the forest at night through the pouring rain, all of us screaming Joe Joe Joe, I promised myself that when Joe came back, when he came back and he was fine, I was never going to let him out of my sight again. I was going to hold him and hug him and shake him and yell at him for scaring me, for scaring all of us, how could you do that to me, Joe, how could you do that to us?
But we didn’t find him.
Joe was gone.
“Please,” my father said into the phone, gripping it so tightly that I thought it would break. “Please, Richard. Please give me back my son.”
And Richard Collins said, “No.”
I GASPED AS I AWOKE.
“Hey, hey,” a voice said near my ear. “Carter. Stop. Carter. Carter.”
I struggled against the arms around me. They were stronger than I was, and I was getting crushed. I couldn’t breathe. I was caught.
“Joe!” I shouted. “Where are you, Joe? Come back! Please come back!”
“I’m here,” he said. “I’m here. I’m here. We both are. Carter, open your eyes. Open your eyes.”
I moaned, still trying to get away. “No. This isn’t real. None of this is real. I need to wake up. I need to wake up—”
“Carter.”
I opened my eyes.
I was in the cabin on the bed.
Kelly kneeled next to me. His hands gripped my legs, holding them down.
“That’s it,” Joe whispered in my ear, and I sagged back against him. “That’s it. We’ve got you. We’re here. You’re awake. We’ve got you.”
Kelly said, “Look at me.”
I was helpless not to. I sucked in a deep breath, greedy for the scents of pack and home, knowing if this was a dream, it would be the end of me. I couldn’t come back from this if it wasn’t real. It’d always been Kelly I saw. If it were Joe too, and they were ghosts, I wasn’t going to recover.
Kelly nodded. He took my shaking hands as I reached for him. His skin was warm, familiar. His heart was loud. He looked tired, and his hair was longer than when I’d seen it last. And there was green there, so much green between the three of us, but it was wrapped in blue, and I wanted to take it away from them both, wanted to keep them from ever feeling like that again.
I said, “Yell at me.”
Kelly blinked. “What?”
“Yell at me,” I begged him. “Both of you. Yell at me. Shout. Scream. Tell me you hate me. Tell me how angry you are. Tell me how stupid I was. Please.”
Kelly shook his head. “I’m not going to—”
Joe squawked when I jerked away from him. Kelly fell back on his ass in the dirt. I stood from the bed, the blanket falling off me. I was wearing clothes that weren’t mine. They were warm and clean and smelled like packpackpack. I squeezed my eyes shut.
When I opened them again, Kelly and Joe stood a few feet away, looking unsure. Joe was bigger than he used to be. Power radiated from him in soothing waves. My throat closed when I realized he was just like how Dad had been. A king. He looked like our mother, but he felt like our father.
The Alpha of all.
Discordant. Everything. Joe, tiny little Joe following after me, telling me that he couldn’t keep up, he wasn’t as big as me, wait up, wait up, wait up!
And then there was this man, this great man standing before me, and all I wanted to do was fall to my knees in front of him, to bare my neck and beg for him to understand, beg for them both to yell at me so I knew they still loved me.
Joe said, “I hate your beard.”
I gaped at him.
He shrugged. “It looks terrible. You need to shave.”
I said, “What.”
Kelly said, “And you need to cut your hair. Probably wash it too.” His nose wrinkled. “Probably need to wash a lot of things.”
I said, “What.”
Joe took a step toward me. “I know you’re confused. And I know you don’t think this is real. Your head is a little… messed up right now.” His gaze hardened. “That’s what happens when you break from your pack. I had to force it on you. It was the only way to get through to you. You were Omega, Carter. You were turning Omega again. I couldn’t let that happen.”
I said, “I don’t….”
Kelly said, “You feel it?”
I looked to him. I felt like I was moving underwater. “Feel what?”
He tapped his chest. “Joe. Me. Us. Here. You feel it?”
I did. It was thin and weak, but there all the same.
Bonds.
Stretching between us.
“That’s real,” Kelly said quietly. “I swear it. It’s real, Carter.”
“You’re… here?”
Joe nodded. “We are.” He took another step toward me. He was careful. Cautious, like he was approaching a cornered animal.
He grunted when I grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward me. I wrapped myself around him, burying my face in his throat. I breathed him in as he hugged me as hard as he could. A wave of pain rolled through my back, and I cried out.
He took a startled step back. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Hurts. Back. I got—no. No, no, no.” I shoved Joe toward the door. Kelly told me to stop, stop, Carter, stop it. “You have to get out of here,” I snapped at them. “Both of you. You need to leave. Before he—”
“Livingstone,” Kelly said. “We know.”
That stopped me cold. “What?”
Joe and Kelly exchanged a look. “We feel him,” Joe said. “It’s how we knew we were close. He’s out there, isn’t he? Somewhere in the woods.”
“He’ll hear you,” I snarled at them. “He’ll know you’re here. He can’t—”
“He won’t,” Kelly said. “Not unless he’s close. We’re protected. Muted. He can’t hear us. He can’t smell us. Not while we’re here.”
“How?” I demanded. “You don’t know what he is. You don’t know what he can do. He’s—”
The door to the cabin opened. I jumped forward, shoving my brothers behind me. I snarled at the shadow in the doorway.
“Oh, go to hell, Carter,” the shadow said. “Is that any way to act for saving your sorry ass? I swear to god, I’m surrounded by morons.”
“Gordo?”
Gordo Livingstone stepped into the cabin. He scowled as he shut the door behind him. The lines around his eyes were more pronounced, hair a little longer. He looked me up and down, shaking his head. He took in a shuddering breath. “Come here.”
I couldn’t move.
He rolled his eyes before coming toward me. A moment later I was enveloped by the warm scent of his magic as he hugged me, his hand going to the back of my head, fingers in my hair. “I can’t believe you,” he grumbled into my shoulder. “How could you possibly think this was okay? What the hell is wrong with you?”
My knees gave out, but he held me up, leading me back toward the bed. He almost fell over when he sat me down but managed to keep himself upright. He crouched before me, and I thought he was trying to pull away. I didn’t want to let him go. “Look at me.”
I did. “You still don’t have a hand.”
He snorted. “Yeah, imagine that. Haven’t figured out how to grow one back. Weird, right? Hold still.”
I didn’t look away for fear that he’d vanish.
He reached over and slid the sleeve of his jacket up his arm. His tattoos were glowing, and I watched as more and more were revealed. Signs. Symbols. Roses. And then the—
