Same Beach, Next Year

by Dorothea Benton Frank

  “Eliza has that Mediterranean temper that’s so hot you could grill a rack of lamb with it. I’d give her a couple of days if I were you.”

  “I just hate being punished for something I didn’t do,” she said.

  I looked at her again. God, what I would give to lie down next to her. But it wasn’t to be. Not that day and maybe never.

  “Eve, there’s not a day that’s gone by that I don’t think of you.”

  “Me too.”

  “I knew the moment you came over that first night with Carl that I was still in love with you. I dream about you. I fantasize about you and a part of me longs for you like an addict.”

  “You know I feel the same way about you.”

  “I know. But like you, I’ve got a family and a spouse who has given me everything she has to give. Like Carl.”

  “It’s true. Sometimes Carl is so sweet to me that I feel ashamed of the things I think about you.”

  “Well, I think for the foreseeable future we’re going to have to put the elephant back in the attic,” I said, not knowing how else to describe it.

  “Elephant in the attic? Is that what we’ve got going on here?” She laughed and I laughed with her. “That’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “I guess it is,” I said.

  At least there was solidarity between us. At least we were finally completely honest with each other.

  “I should have fought for us back when we were kids. I’ve always regretted that,” I said.

  “I should have told Cookie she couldn’t tell me what to do. I was too afraid of her,” Eve said. “I always hoped I’d see you again. Somehow.”

  “Who knew we’d both be married when we did?” I said.

  I thought about what we’d just said to each other. There was no point in reliving the past. It was over. I stood up from the table and said, “Okay, so I came here to do some repairs. I’m going to do them and then I’m going home. If she asks me what happened again, I’m going to reassure her. I’m going to take her out to any restaurant she wants to go to and for the next six months I’m going to watch chick flicks without complaining.”

  “Eliza’s a good woman,” she said. And she smiled that million-dollar smile that melted my heart every single time.

  “And Carl is a great guy. Listen, Eve. Go home. Go home and tell him you love him.”

  “What if he won’t listen to me?”

  I walked to the front door and opened it.

  “Keep telling him until he does.”

  We blew each other a kiss and I closed the door behind me.

  By the time I finished everything I had to do and got in my Expedition, Eve’s car was gone. She had a long drive ahead of her. As I moved along on Highway 17 I wondered if Eliza had a premonition that Eve might have been at Wild Dunes. Had she come there to catch me in the sack with Eve? Didn’t she trust me? There was no reason that she shouldn’t. None at all. And had Carl come for the same reason? Were they spying on us? It kind of pissed me off to think about it. I didn’t deserve that. I could’ve had all the sex I wanted to with Eve and I hadn’t. God knows she was certainly willing. And I was no saint. I knew that. But I’d always thought that stepping out on the wife was asking for trouble. First of all, I’d get caught. I just had that kind of luck. I mean, look what happened when I fell asleep on the wrong sofa. I got my ass handed to me, that’s what. And second, I didn’t want to hurt Eliza. Maybe she wasn’t the beauty she used to be, but neither was I. Although Eve was probably better looking now than she was when she was a teenager. And Carl was distinguished looking, still very GQ handsome. There was no justice in the world. I looked in the rearview mirror. I was getting very jowly.

  Well, I fucking hate the hell out of that, I thought.

  Traffic on the Ravenel Bridge was murder. Well, it was five o’clock on a Saturday night. People were probably going downtown to have supper. I realized then that I hadn’t heard from Eliza all day. And I hadn’t called her either. Why should I? To apologize for what? Falling asleep?

  Maybe I would give her a piece of my mind when I got home. I’d been a faithful husband for over twenty years and I didn’t deserve this kind of suspicion. I really didn’t. Maybe I’d entertained the idea of sex with Eve a couple of hundred thousand times, but I’d never acted on it, even when it was right there in front of my face. I mean, there was a big difference between thinking about sex and actually having sex. No, I was a good husband and I deserved better treatment than I was getting.

  And, excuse me, but it was Carl who was banging his nurse. He could say what he wanted to Eve, but I saw the look on his face. He had definitely cheated on Eve. I’d bet my life on it. Okay, not my actual real life, but something big, like maybe some money, like a couple of hundred dollars. Or maybe he wasn’t. But he was as red-blooded as I was, and real men enjoy flirtation from young pretty girls. I’d been in those shoes before with a secretary my dad hired one summer when I was in high school. Blow jobs weren’t really sex anyway. Ask Bill Clinton. Yeah, that was a hot summer. What the hell was her name? Karen. She was a cute little thing with hair dyed jet black, big old floppy boobs, and fat marshmallows for lips. She thought she was playing hard to get, but I can attest to the fact that she spent a lot of time on her knees—and not in prayer. Then one afternoon Dad caught her going down like a German submarine on one of our roofers and fired her. Hell, he should’ve fired the roofer! I laughed remembering the whole situation. It was just an inch shy of a scandal, but nothing came of it. That was a good thing. No, I’d maybe say my dalliance with Karen was an indiscretion, but it wasn’t sex and it sure as hell wasn’t an affair.

  The truth was that I could’ve taken Eve away from Carl any time I wanted to through all the years we’d been vacationing with them. I didn’t want to. But what would it have been like if I had? It would’ve killed Eliza. But then Carl sort of had an eye for my girl and always had. Maybe we would’ve divorced and remarried each other. Boy, that would be a story no one would believe in their wildest dreams. But stranger things had happened in this world.

  Life with Eve. What would that look like? Well, the food would be terrible. Let’s start there. The woman couldn’t even make toast! Pitiful. At least Eliza could cook. Jesus. Gorgeous, great in the sack as I recall. So was Eliza. But Eve shouldn’t be allowed in a kitchen. I could’ve died from that omelet.

  Traffic was moving along and I was almost home. I had the thought that maybe I should stop at the grocery store and pick up a bunch of flowers for Eliza. She loved flowers of all kinds. Her azaleas and camellia bushes were simply astounding. And her gardenias were too. Years ago, she’d planted hydrangeas in front of the house, and now they were as big as my SUV. No, there was no doubt about it. Eliza was a woman of many gifts. Extraordinary, really. Well, I drove right past the grocery store because coming home with flowers would look like I had something to apologize for, and I did not.

  Okay, I did have something to apologize for, but I wasn’t going to do it. I swear to God, Eliza can read me like she’s psychic or something. She was right about me not wanting to get up and go home, but I’d never admit it to her in a million years. Hell, no. And you know what? After all the years when I had denied myself the opportunity to be with Eve behind everyone’s back, which would have been the easiest thing in the world, I couldn’t see the harm in sleeping on her couch. I wasn’t even lying down. I was asleep sitting up. Was that really so terrible? Was that a deal breaker? No way. Eliza would be pissed for a while, but she’d forget about it eventually. It wasn’t worth tearing a family apart. Or destroying our friendship with Eve and Carl. They meant too much to us, as we did to them.

  I pulled into the garage. Eliza’s bay was empty. Now, where was she off to? I thought. Probably at Williams Sonoma, running up our charge card. Vengeance shopping. Oh, she could read me, but I knew her too. So it would cost me a thousand dollars to get things back to normal. So what? It was worth every penny. Sorry, but it was. I’d had my one turn
at bat and I’d proven myself to be a good and faithful husband. And if I had to, I’d argue with Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates that falling asleep on Eve’s sofa was accidental. Man to man? He’d let me into heaven. Men understand these things, where the line is and all that.

  I went inside and saw a piece of paper on the counter. It appeared to be a note from Eliza.

  I’m going to visit my family in Corfu. For once, I’m putting myself first . . .

  What? Was she kidding? What family? This was craziness! She must’ve been playing a game with me. There was no way! No way in hell! She didn’t have any family over there, did she? Wait! Yes, she did. I remembered her saying she did. And I remembered telling her they were a bunch of poor slobs who couldn’t speak English. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I’d never met them. Yeah. That was probably not a good thing to say.

  Then I had another thought. What if she was actually just playing a game? It was possible. What if she was just checked into a hotel, like the Sanctuary on Kiawah? She’d get massages and do her nails and then she’d come home. Right? I mean, where was her car?

  Before I had a chance to check her bathroom cabinet to see if her toothbrush was there, the phone rang and I picked it up. It was my dad.

  “Hey,” he said. “What are you doing for supper?”

  “Eating whatever I can find in the fridge. Why?”

  “I thought you might join us tonight. I’ve got some pork chops and Clarabeth is baking some kind of potato thing. God, she loves potatoes.”

  “Is Eliza there?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I just got home from fixing some things in the condo at Wild Dunes and her car is gone. I just thought she might be there. That’s all.”

  “Son, I was gonna tell you when you got here, but I may as well tell you now. She’s gone to Greece. I drove her to the airport myself. And I’ve got her car.”

  I was stunned. Completely stunned. Her note was true.

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  I hung up the phone and looked around. Suddenly, my heart sank and the house felt dead. What the hell, Eliza? What the hell?

  I drove to my dad and Clarabeth’s like a madman, parking my car in the side yard, right next to Eliza’s. I ran up the steps and into the house. Dad was in the kitchen seasoning the chops and Clarabeth had just pulled a potato casserole from the oven.

  “Hello, son,” Dad said. “Feel like a martini?”

  “I could probably use four, but I’d hate myself tomorrow. Hey, Clarabeth.”

  I gave her a peck on the cheek.

  “Hey, Adam,” she said, in a voice I imagined doctors used on the criminally insane. “It’s so nice that you could join us tonight. I was just saying to Ted that it was way beyond time that you came for dinner. It’s so nice for him to share a meal with his son now and then. It means so much to him, and I know it does to you too.”

  When she stopped talking to take a breath, I jumped in. “Do y’all have any wine open?”

  “There’s a pinot grigio in the fridge. It hasn’t been open too long,” Dad said. “And I opened a Cab for dinner. It’s on the dining room table. Help yourself.”

  “White sounds good,” I said. I went to the cabinet and took out a wineglass.

  My dad reached into the refrigerator and handed me the bottle. I poured myself a half glass and sat down at the table.

  “I’m going out back to the grill. You want to come with me? Maybe I can help you get this situation all sorted out. Here, carry this for me.”

  He handed me a tray loaded with a platter, tongs, a plastic tub of seasoning salt, a pepper grinder, and a roll of aluminum foil. I followed him outside to the patio. Clarabeth stayed inside.

  “I’ll make a salad,” she said. “Y’all go talk! You know, do your thing. I’ll just be here washing and drying lettuce. I don’t care if they say it’s triple washed. Who knows if that’s really true? I’ve heard some of these California farms use waste water to irrigate. Have you ever in your whole life . . .”

  Jeez, does she talk on and on or what? I thought. Poor Dad. He has to live with that wall of noise all the time.

  He put the pan of meat down on the counter next to the grill and said, “I’m used to it. Just goes to show that you can get used to anything.”

  “I didn’t say a word,” I said.

  “You flinched. I know your flinches. Now tell me what went on.”

  “How much did Eliza tell you?”

  “She told us a story about how some long-lost relative contacted her and invited her to come to Corfu, so she was on her way. Then Cookie, who was here, and you know how she is, started digging. Eliza got upset and began to cry and told us what happened last night and this morning.”

  “I hate Cookie,” I said.

  “She can be difficult,” he said. “You like your meat medium rare, isn’t that right?”

  “Yeah, that’s fine. So what else did Cookie say?”

  “Well, this may sound crazy, but I think she was trying to say you were innocent if you said so but that she didn’t trust her daughter at all. And speaking as a parent, I could’ve lived out my days not knowing you had sex with Eve years ago.”

  “What? Cookie told Eliza about that? Is that woman out of her mind?”

  “She might be. It didn’t help your case, that’s for sure.”

  “Dad, here’s the thing. When I was eighteen years old I was in love with Eve. She was my first serious girlfriend. And she was amazing. I wanted to marry her. Cookie, ever the social-climbing bitch from hell, had other plans for Eve’s future. Eve went off to school in North Carolina, met Carl the doctor, got pregnant, and married him. I never saw her again until that summer we met them at Wild Dunes. That’s the truth.”

  “I believe you. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “And we’ve all become really great friends. All these years we’ve been vacationing with them? I could’ve had sex with Eve any time I wanted. Last night, same story. I didn’t. I happen to love my wife, although right now I’m plenty mad with her.”

  “I believe you. But all of this looks bad, you know. Put yourself in Carl’s shoes. Or Eliza’s shoes.”

  “Yes, but Eve and I swore to them that nothing happened. They ought to believe us.”

  “Even if they do? It still looks very, very bad.”

  “I’ll give you that much.”

  “Listen, Adam, everyone knows you and Eve have some powerful feelings for each other. It’s as plain as the nose on your face.”

  “But I have maintained a proper distance from her all these years.”

  “Okay. That’s the funny thing about love. It never dies. And the fact that you didn’t get off the sofa and go home speaks volumes to Carl and Eliza. Eliza feels betrayed. If the shoe was on the other foot, I think you’d feel the same way.”

  “So, what do you think I ought to do?” I looked at the grill. “I think those chops are done, Dad.”

  He stuck the long fork into the meat, grunted, and dropped the meat on the platter.

  “I think you ought to call her and tell her you love her and you’re sorry and that nothing like that will ever happen again.”

  “I’ve told her that. But you know what? Part of me is very pissed off. I don’t like being punished for something I didn’t do. She wants to go to Greece so badly? I say, have a nice trip.”

  “Slow down, Adam. She’s the one who’s hurt, and your self-righteous indignation won’t rebuild her trust. You’ve got fences to mend. Don’t get on a soapbox.”

  I just looked at him.

  “Only love and forgiveness will fix this. Now let’s go have supper.”

  I started piling up the foil and utensils on the tray to take back inside. I hoped that he sensed that I was in no hurry to sit around a table and discuss my shortcomings with Clarabeth over a potato casserole.

  “It’s too many years, Adam. Don’t be a fool.”

  After dinner, which was very good, I made up an excuse to go home early. I
had a lot of thinking to do and I was exhausted. They said they’d bring Eliza’s car back in the morning. I thanked Clarabeth, and Dad walked me outside. You could hear the crickets and the steady hum of bugs. And you could smell the decaying life around the banks of the Ashley River. It was cool, so cool that I wondered if we were headed into a cold snap.

  “Think about what I said, Adam. Eliza is a wonderful woman. She deserves nothing but the best. I don’t think you really want to lose her.”

  “Of course I don’t. I’m too tired to think about it anymore tonight. But thanks.”

  “For what?”

  “Dinner and the pep talk,” I said.

  I looked back at him and in the dim yellow light of the porch I thought he looked older. Someday I wouldn’t have him in my life. I knew that what had happened between Eve and me made things awkward for Carl and Eliza, but there was nothing to be done about it. I drove home wondering if I should call Eliza, but I figured she was somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean right about then.

  I pulled into our garage and my cell phone rang. It was Eve.

  “Hey. You okay?” I said.

  “Yeah, I guess I’m okay. I just got home and Carl isn’t here. It looks like he’s moved out.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  “Nope.”

  “Holy shit! Look, Eve, I’ll admit that when Carl walked in the situation wasn’t optimal, but it shouldn’t be grounds for divorce!”

  “I agree!”

  “That said, when I got home I discovered that Eliza has taken a trip to Greece.”

  “What? Are you serious?”

  “As serious as I can be. And listen to me, you’re not going to like this. Eliza went to Dad’s to leave her car with him and Cookie was there and told her about you and me back in the day.”

  “You don’t mean it. Please tell me you’re lying.”

  “I wish I was. And she was explicit.”

  “Eliza must’ve told Carl.”

  “I’d bet the ranch on that one.”

  “Dear God. Adam, what are we going to do?”