by Rose Pearson
“You will do no such thing!” her mother declared, firmly. “For I cannot spare the maid.”
“Jane, then,” Katie said, firmly. “We must not look to be in any way improper, mama.”
This appeared to give her mother pause, for she hesitated before slowly resting her head back against the pillows. “I do not think you will be improper in any way, if you remain with the grounds,” she said, in answer to Katie’s statement. “You can easily be seen and –”
“I do not know where Lord Halifax wishes to walk, mama, and I have already told him that I will be accompanied by someone,” Katie interrupted, firmly. “I thought you would be rather pleased that I am to be in his company.”
Her mother frowned, her eyes still as sharp as ever. “You need not congratulate yourself, Katie,” she replied, tartly. “You have done as you are expected and that is all. Now you must work hard to ensure that you capture his attentions all the more, so that he will make you an offer. He is, I have heard, looking for a wife and I know that the ladies of London have not pleased him in any way. You must be different, Katie. You must not be in any way flirtatious, you must not be showy or ridiculous. No, you must be –”
“I will be myself, mama,” Katie interrupted, wishing she had not come to tell her mother the news if this is how she was to react. It was, to her mother’s mind, as though Katie was already engaged to the viscount. “I have nothing more than that.”
Her mother let out a sigh of exasperation, waving Katie away. “You will inform me of how it has gone the very moment you return,” she said, as Katie made her way towards the door. “The instant you set foot through that door, Katie. Do you understand me?”
“It is merely a walk, mama,” she replied, quietly. “I do not know the gentleman and this is simply an opportunity to further our acquaintance.”
“Codswallop,” her mother replied, harshly. “It does not matter how much you like or dislike the gentleman, Katie, he is titled and wealthy.”
“If I dislike him, then I will not be inclined to accept any proposal, mama,” Katie tried to say, only for her mother to snort with disdain.
“You will do as you are told, my girl,” she stated, her tone brooking no argument. “This is not just about you, Katie. The connection will bring a good many things to this entire family, although I know you are inclined to be selfish.” Settling back into her pillows, she waved a hand, dismissing her daughter.
Katie paused, turned around and faced her mother, who was now lying with her eyes closed, evidently expecting her every order to be obeyed. Something like pain sliced through Katie’s heart. It was not as though she disliked her mother, but more that she wished that her mother cared for her in a more evident way. Of course, her mother would argue that in encouraging her daughter towards Viscount Halifax, she was doing all she could for her, but that was not what was missing from Katie’s life. She lacked her mother’s love, her genuine affection for Katie’s wishes and desires. As far as her mother was concerned, it did not matter what Katie thought of Viscount Halifax. It was a good match, one that would bring Katie both prosperity and the chance for her children to bear a title – and what else mattered other than that? It was not as though Katie would ever even consider telling her mother how she felt about Samuel Putnam, for she knew that her mother would be utterly shocked at such a lowly connection and would, of course, refuse to give her blessing to such a match. Was this why Samuel had pushed her away? Had her mother had anything to do with it?
At that moment, Katie was struck with the thought of her sister, Jane. How did this situation affect her? What was it she truly thought of the viscount being pushed towards Katie, the younger of the two sisters when she ought to have been the one encouraged towards him? Did she feel left out and forgotten? Did she cry, fearing that she would be left alone, an old maid, to live out the rest of her years living on someone’s charity?
“Mama,” she ventured, suddenly emboldened by the thought. “What about Jane?”
Her mother’s eyes snapped open and she glared at Katie. “What do you mean?”
“She should be the one walking with Lord Halifax,” Katie replied, carefully. “She is the elder and therefore –”
“Jane has no beauty,” her mother replied, dismissing her quickly. “Leave Jane to me. Once you are settled, I will do my best to find someone to look twice at her, although it will never be someone quite as good as Viscount Halifax.” She sank back into her pillows, a serene smile on her face. “No, you are to be the one to bring this family back to the place in society they ought to always have been,” she said, contentedly. “Now, go and prepare yourself for his arrival. And remember, Katie, you are to do your very best to secure him. You may not be drawn to him now but one day, you will thank me for all I did.”
Realizing she was not about to have any further discussion on the matter, Katie withdrew from her mother’s bedchamber, closing the door softly behind her. She did not move away instantly but rather allowed herself to rest there for a moment or two, her mind thoroughly confused and her heart torn.
She did not care for Viscount Halifax, but her mother was quite insistent it was for her best. It seemed that Samuel – Mr. Putnam, as he had insisted she call him – was choosing not to further their relationship, which meant that there was very little hope that she would ever find any sort of happiness with him, no matter how much her heart longed for him. Therefore, she had to do what was best for everyone. She could not allow herself to be selfish, as her mother stated. Even if she felt nothing for the viscount, she would walk with him, allow him to court her if he so wished and, at the very least, consider matrimony to him.
She lifted her chin, trying to find the determination she would need for such an event, only to find her eyes growing hot with tears.
Tears that she could not immediately prevent from falling, her heart aching desperately within her as she ran towards her bedchamber, pressing her hands to her cheeks in an attempt to stem them completely.
Sobbing, Katie threw herself onto her bed, having thrown the door closed so that it slammed shut behind her. She had not expected to cry, had not once believed herself to be so distraught in what she felt for Samuel, but once she had let the first tear fall, nothing could stop them flowing down her cheeks.
“Katie?”
She did not look up, hearing her sister’s voice as she opened the door.
“Katie, my dear sister!” Jane exclaimed, her voice filled with concern. “Whatever is the matter?”
Unable to speak, Katie continued to sob into the bed linen, her heart spreading pain all through her as Jane rubbed her back gently. She loved Samuel, she loved him desperately. There had been a brief moment of hope, when their lips had met in a featherlike kiss, only for him to tear her apart, limb from limb.
“It is Lord Halifax, is it not?” Jane murmured, soothingly. “Has he not taken notice of you, Katie? You need not worry, I am quite sure –”
“It is not Lord Halifax,” Katie interrupted, her voice muffled as she wiped her eyes on the blanket. “Oh, Jane, if only you could understand.”
Jane said nothing but waited until Katie had pushed herself up into a sitting position, her eyes watching her carefully. Katie shook her head, sniffling in a most unladylike fashion until Jane offered her a clean handkerchief from her own pocket.
“I have noticed that you have been unhappy of late,” Jane said softly, as Katie blew her nose. “Ever since Mr. Putnam has taken over the position of our father’s steward.”
A heavy weight settled over Katie’s heart. “Yes, Jane,” she admitted, hoarsely. “It is Mr. Putnam that troubles me so.”
“You were very good friends at one time,” Jane said softly, getting up from the bed to fetch another handkerchief. “He has not been so much of a confidante of late, I think.”
“He has not been a friend to me at all,” Katie replied, brokenly. “He is now ‘Mr. Putnam’ and I am ‘Miss Brookes.” She shook her head miserably, staring down at her hand
s, her head heavy. “There can never be anything between us.”
Jane patted her head, a small sigh escaping her. “We must all do our duty,” she said, softly. “It is difficult, I know, but it is often for the best.”
Slowly, Katie lifted her face to her sister’s and saw the quiet sadness that lingered in her eyes. “You have never spoken to me about the burdens you carry, Jane,” she said, a little curiously. “Why not?”
Her sister shrugged, although her chin wobbled. “Because it would bring no good,” she answered, in a quiet voice. “I have my own burdens to bear which, should I share with you or with Papa, would only cause difficulty for others. As things stand, everything is going just as it should and I need only endure for a little longer.”
None of this made much sense to Katie, although the realization that her elder sister was bearing her own troubles without a word to anyone struck a blow of pain to her own heart. “I would listen to you, Jane, if you wished to speak of them.”
Her sister smiled and put her hand over hers, pressing her fingers gently. “You are very kind, Katie.”
“I know that Mama has overlooked you,” Katie continued, seeing the flash of agony in her sister’s eyes. “I am sorry for that. I have tried to speak to her but –”
“I know our mother as well as you,” Jane interrupted, not looking in any way concerned. “I am well aware that you are the beauty of the family and that I am not. I quite understand that my mother longs for there to be a title connected to the family through marriage, given that our father is the brother of a viscount, and that you are the best suited to pursuing that wish.” She shrugged and climbed down from the bed. “If Viscount Halifax is eager to spend time with you, then you need not feel guilty for my sake, Katie.”
Katie did not know what to say, her emotions crashing through her like a turbulent, restless sea.
“If you must forget Mr. Putnam, if he has made it clear that there can be nothing between you, then would it not be best to allow Viscount Halifax to court you?” She smiled and patted Katie’s hand. “I am quite sure that he will make an excellent husband, Katie.”
This was not what Katie had expected to hear from her sister and yet, despite that, her words did make sense. “I do not want to forget Samuel,” she said softly, her heart still filled with what they had shared only that morning. “I do not think I can.”
Jane nodded with understanding. “It may be that you will always care for him, Katie,” she said, as though she knew precisely what Katie was enduring. “But if one cannot marry for love, then mayhap it is best to wed for practicality’s sake, especially if it will bring both connections and security. It is difficult, I know, but I would encourage you to consider Viscount Halifax, Katie.”
“Do you think it is for the best, truly?” Katie whispered as Jane walked to the window, looking out over the wintery scene.
“Yes,” came Jane’s quiet response. “Yes, my dear sister, I do.”
Chapter Five
Katie prayed that her eyes were not in the least bit puffy as she waited patiently for Viscount Halifax to arrive. Jane, who had agreed to come with them, gave her a quick smile, although Katie noticed that her sister’s countenance was a little strained, her face a touch whiter than usual. In her heart, Katie wished that Jane would share her troubles with her, in the same way that she did. There must be so much hurt within her sister’s heart and yet she kept it all to herself, choosing not to share it with a single soul. It was her choice, of course, but Katie wished that she could somehow ease her sister’s burden.
“Here he is,” Jane whispered, as a horse and rider came up the driveway. “Pinch your cheeks, Katie, so you are not so pale.”
Feeling a little foolish, Katie did as she was asked and, with Jane by her side, went out to greet Viscount Halifax.
“Good afternoon!” he called, a smile on his face as he dismounted. “Thank you for waiting for me, Miss Brookes. I do hope I am not tardy.” He took her hand and bowed over it, before doing the same to Jane.
“No, not at all,” Katie replied, with a quick smile. “I am glad it is a fine day for our walk, although it is rather cold.”
“Just as it should be for Christmas,” the viscount replied, with a grin. “Now, I thought we might take a turn about the grounds or go somewhere nearby. I confess that I am not well acquainted with these parts so I thought to have you lead the way.”
A little surprised, Katie accepted this with good grace. “Of course. There is a short walk through the grounds that leads towards the woodland,” she explained, as their groom came to take care of the viscount’s horse. “It is not far. Jane is to come with us.”
For a moment, the smile faded from the viscount’s expression but then it was back again in an instant as he inclined his head towards Jane. “But of course,” he said, softly. “Delighted. Delighted to have your company, Miss Brookes.”
Jane regarded him for a moment, her cheeks a little flushed from the cold. “I will not intrude on your conversation with my sister,” she replied, carefully. “The maid could not be spared, you understand.”
Tension crackled in the air, making Katie all the more uncomfortable. “Shall we go?” she asked, wondering why Viscount Halifax was still regarding her sister with such a strange look in his eyes. “If we do not begin our walk soon, I fear that my feet may turn into blocks of ice!”
At this, Viscount Halifax laughed and offered her his arm, before walking in the direction she indicated. Katie did not laugh along with him, finding his stride to be longer than her own and his height a little too tall, making her walk in a rather ungainly manner. Her thoughts turned to Mr. Putnam yet again, remembering with fondness how often they had walked together and how perfectly suited they had been in doing so. It was not that way with the viscount.
“Your sister will not mind if we talk amongst ourselves?” Lord Halifax asked as they walked a little ahead of Jane. He threw Jane a glance over his shoulder before returning his gaze to Katie, evidently concerned.
She smiled at him, thinking to herself that his concern for her sister spoke of a kind heart. “No, indeed, she will not mind at all,” she promised, truthfully. “She has been more than encouraging about our walk this afternoon.”
For some reason, this made Viscount Halifax frown, his forehead wrinkling. “Is that so?” he mumbled, returning his gaze to the path ahead of them. “I see.”
A little unsure as to what to make of this, Katie and the viscount walked in silence for a short time, swirls of anticipation and anxiety spiraling between them. Katie, not knowing what to say, chose to walk quietly, waiting for the viscount to start a new conversation.
“I think, Miss Brookes, that I will come straight to the point,” the viscount said, as Jane fell a few steps behind. “If you will permit me to speak plainly, that is.”
All thoughts of Samuel flew from her head as she looked up into the viscount’s handsome face, seeing the way he looked away from her as though he found the entire situation a little awkward.
“But of course,” she replied, trying to keep her voice light. “What is it you wish to say to me, my lord?”
He cleared his throat again, his steps slowing just a little. "It is well known, I think, that I have been searching for a wife for some time,” he began, sending butterflies into the pit of her stomach. “I think I have also told you, Miss Brookes, that the eligible ladies of the ton have not sparked any sort of interest in me” His nose wrinkled, as though he had smelt something truly disgusting. “The way they flirt and toy with the gentlemen of London is not something I can bear to watch, for I find their games to be nothing but falsehoods. They each seek to find a gentleman of both title and wealth, competing against each other for their prize.” He shook his head, a sigh emitting from his lips. “I came here to remove myself from it all for a time, only to discover that my friend’s neighbors had two lovely daughters of their own.” A smile was bestowed upon her but such was her anxiety that Katie found her lips frozen in pl
ace.
“You are very kind,” she said, stiffly.
“I am aware that your mother is eager that we should court,” he continued, bluntly. “No, you need not be embarrassed, for I am quite aware of her eagerness in this matter. It is not difficult to understand either, for your father is from a family of nobility and she herself has come from a well-to-do family of fortune. However, I confess that I have been rather intrigued by your behavior in all of this.”
A little shocked, Katie looked up at him, her eyes wide. “I hope you have not thought me overeager, my lord.”
Viscount Halifax chuckled. “No, indeed not, Miss Brookes. In fact, I would say that is has been your lack of interest, your lack of attentions towards me that have quite caught my notice.” Upon seeing her wide eyes, Viscount Halifax laughed again, patting her gloved hand with his own.
“You see, Miss Brookes,” he explained, his eyes twinkling. “I have been surrounded by young ladies all eager to make my acquaintance and to convince me of their many glorious attributes, in the hope that I might consider courting them. You, however, did no such thing. In fact, you seemed to prefer standing against a wall, alone, than to come in search of me!”
Aware that he was referring to the dinner party, Katie felt her face grow hot with embarrassment. “I had not thought you noticed, Lord Halifax.”
He waved away her mortification and smiled. “You need not be at all embarrassed, Miss Brookes. I am well aware that some of the happiest marriages have come from a simple arrangement, where there is no mention of love or affection at the beginning of it all.” Growing serious, his eyes lost their sparkle and his lips pulled tight. “I will not pretend that I have any serious affection for you, Miss Brookes, given that we have just become better acquainted and I will not be in any way offended if you state the same for me also.” Giving her an enquiring glance, he waited for her response.
