My Peace

by Courtney Cole

  “In a minute,” Mila agrees, her mouth against my shaft.

  She slides her lips up and down, and the suction… Lord have mercy.

  “You’re killing me, woman,” I groan. She grins, and I lift her onto my lap.

  She pulls her panties down.

  I can’t breathe.

  She grins again.

  Then I plunge into her, using my arms to lift her up… then down.

  “Christ.”

  “Yeah,” she sighs against my neck.

  The thrill of making love to my wife in a public place, where anyone might happen upon us, is exhilarating.

  I only last a few minutes longer because of it, and soon, I’m spasming inside of her, wet and hot.

  She clutches at my hair when she finds her own release.

  “Pax,” she sighs. “Pax.”

  “That’s it, baby,” I rock with her, feeling her shudder around me. “Let it go.”

  I hold her tight for a few more minutes, her hair plastered to her forehead, and sticking to my chest.

  “That was nice,” she says sleepily.

  “That was fantastic,” I correct. “But I need to get you home to our bed.”

  She nods in agreement, and we put our clothes back on. Mila straps into the passenger seat, and I nose the SUV out of the parking spot and then out of the lot toward home.

  Hartford is dark and quiet at this time of night, and traffic is light. It’s an easy drive, and I settle in for it, turning the radio on low.

  Mila is asleep within five minutes, and I glance over at her.

  Her hair is falling across her cheek, and her hand is curled under her chin. She looks angelic. No one would ever guess what we had just done in a public parking lot.

  I turn onto the street that leads up to our subdivision, and our headlights shine onto a car pulled over onto the shoulder.

  A woman stands next to it, studying her flat tire with a perplexed look on her face.

  I can’t just drive past.

  It’s midnight, and the woman is alone. It wouldn’t be right.

  So, I pull up behind her.

  Mila stirs.

  “I’ll just be a minute,” I tell her. “Someone has car trouble.”

  She murmurs a response, and I step into the brisk night air.

  “Do you have a spare?” I call out as I walk toward the woman. She’s startled, but then smiles.

  “Um. I’m not sure,” she answers sheepishly. “I’ve never had a flat before.”

  “Well, don’t worry. I can help,” I assure her. “Can you pop your trunk?”

  She gets in her car and finds the button, and I hear the thump of the trunk’s lever releasing. I turn to walk to it, and headlights are suddenly in my face.

  Not my own headlights.

  In this moment, I know how a deer must feel, because it’s disorienting, and I’m not sure which way to move, and then the decision is made for me.

  Something slams into me and I’m hurtling through the air.

  My last conscious thought is… Jesus, this should hurt, but it doesn’t.

  And then everything is black.

  3

  Chapter Two

  Mila

  Sweet Lord, I can’t believe we’re here again.

  I’m pacing the hospital waiting room, and Pax is behind the double doors, and I don’t know what’s happening.

  “M’am, did you get a look at the vehicle?” The policeman in front of me tries to keep me on track, when all I want to do is barge through the doors and find my husband.

  “No,” I tell him again, for the fifth time. “I’m sorry. I was half-asleep and my eyes were closed.”

  I feel guilty about that now. I mean, my husband was trying to help someone and I couldn’t be bothered to wake up?

  “Stop it,” my sister says, eyeing me. She knows me too well. “This wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know,” I mumble. “It was an accident.” I look up at her. “Can you call Chelcie, and ask her to stay the night with Zu? I don’t know what time I’ll be leaving here.”

  Maddy nods. “Of course.” She disappears around a corner as she pulls her phone out of her purse to call my babysitter, and Gabe falls into step with me as I pace. His big body dwarfs mine, the skull-and-crossbones tattoo on his bicep reading death before dishonor.

  “You don’t have to babysit me,” I tell him. “I’m fine.”

  “I’m not babysitting,” he protests. “I’m pacing. I like to pace.”

  He stays in step with me for a few minutes more before he speaks again.

  “He’s going to be fine, Mila.”

  I nod, because there’s no way he’ll be anything else. Pax is strong, he’s a fighter. He’s overcome so much already.

  The policeman clears his throat, and I had almost forgotten he was here.

  “If you are contacted by anyone, by the girl you stopped to help, for example, will you let us know?’

  He offers me his card and I take it, and I’m confused.

  “Wait. You haven’t spoken with the girl?”

  The policeman eyes me. “No. As I mentioned earlier, she left the scene.”

  I don’t remember that at all. “I’m sorry,” I tell him. “I’m a bit flustered.”

  He nods. “It’s perfectly understandable. Just let us know if, for some reason, she tries to contact you.”

  “Ok.”

  He leaves, and Gabe and I pace together for a few more minutes. Finally, I’m too tired to pace, and I collapse into a chair. Maddy comes back, and holds my hand, and I’m just closing my eyes to rest them when the surgeon emerges from the door.

  I know it’s the surgeon because he’s wearing one of those caps that you see on ER shows, and he looks exhausted.

  “Your husband is going to be ok,” he tells me quietly. Gabe, Maddy and I exhale collectively, a mass release of pent-up anxiety. “His spleen was ruptured in the impact, but we’ve removed it and stopped the internal bleeding. His knee was hyper-extended, as well. He’ll be sore, but he’s going to make it.”

  If I weren’t already sitting, I would collapse from relief. My knees feel numb.

  “Can I see him?” I ask quickly.

  “Yes. I’ll have a nurse come get you when he’s wheeled to a room.” He disappears back through the doors and Maddy hugs me tightly.

  “See? I told you.”

  I nod, and I’m still numb. “Yeah.”

  It’s not very long until a nurse comes to get me, and takes me to Pax.

  I pause at the door, looking at the man in the bed.

  He’s paler than he should be, he’s got tubes hooked up to his hand, and he’s got muscles and tattoos. He’s mine, although being here, reminds me of a night when he wasn’t mine yet. The night I first met him.

  He’d overdosed on the beach, and I’d found him in a pool of vomit. I’d given him CPR and called an ambulance, and then had come to see him the next day in the hospital. I might’ve fallen in love with him that very day.

  His hazel eyes open now, slowly, but they brighten when he sees me.

  “Hey, Red,” he says softly. “What took you so long?”

  I laugh, because I’m his little Red Riding Hood and he’s my Big Bad Wolf. Always and forever. I rush across the room, and grab his hand, the one that doesn’t have an IV.

  “Oh my God, you scared me,” I breathe, inhaling his neck, and kissing his cheek. “Sweet Lord, Pax.”

  “You scare easily,” he points out, and his arm wraps around me, tugging me closer.

  “No,” I answer firmly. “You got hit by a car. A car.”

  “We don’t know for sure it’s a car,” he replies. “It could’ve been a truck. Or an SUV. It sorta felt like an SUV.”

  He rubs at his hip, and I roll my eyes to hide my panic.

  “You’re ridiculous,” I tell him.

  He grins.

  “Yeah. But you love me.”

  “Yeah.”

  Pax tugs me until I tumble over the bed railin
g and collapse into his side. I snuggle there, into his arm, and he smells unfamiliar, like iodine and sterility. Not like my Pax.

  “You stink,” I mumble into his arm.

  He chuckles.

  “You don’t.” He sniffs at my hair. “You always smell the same. Like Lavender and vanilla. You’re my home, babe.”

  “The drugs have you addled,” I tell him, but his words warm my heart. They almost make all of the panic and anxiety worth it. Almost. “Did you know the girl?” I ask. “The police said she left the scene.”

  I feel my husband shake his head. “Nope. She was just a random chick with a flat tire. She didn’t know how to change it.”

  “Then how did she flee the scene?” I wonder aloud.

  Pax shrugs. “She was probably freaked out and drove on the rim. Who knows?”

  “We’ll never know,” I agree. “All that matters is that you’re going to be ok.”

  “You should go home and get some rest,” Pax tells me. “Seriously. I’ll be ok, sweetheart.”

  My gut clenches, because God. If the car or truck or SUV, or whatever the hell it was, had been just one more inch to the right, Pax wouldn’t have been so lucky. It makes me sick to my stomach and I clench his hand tightly.

  “No. I’m staying right here.”

  “But what about Zu?”

  “I had Maddy call Chelcie.”

  “Babe, go home. Just come back in the morning. You won’t be able to sleep here.”

  I’m trying to protest when a nurse interrupts us. “Yes, Mrs. Tate. You really can’t be here tonight. He’s in recovery, and I need to monitor his vitals. I’m not sure I’ll get an accurate pulse read if you are in bed with him.” She gestures toward the monitors with a wry smile, and Pax laughs.

  “True,” he points out. “You affect me, Red.”

  “Still?” I ask breathlessly, and he grins again.

  “Do you really doubt that?”

  I shake my head, remembering what we had done in the parking lot earlier. “No.”

  “Good. Go home. Give Zu a kiss for me, and come back in the morning to get me.”

  “I doubt you’ll be ready for release that soon,” the nurse cautions him, but Pax ignores her.

  “I’ll call Roger,” Pax reaches for his phone, but I shake my head.

  “No. It’s the middle of the night. I’ll have Gabe drop me off.”

  “They’re still here?” Pax lifts an eyebrow.

  “Of course. They love you. They’ll take me to get our car tomorrow, too.”

  He nods and I throw my arms around his neck. He winces, then hides it.

  “Are your pain meds wearing off?” I ask, then I turn to the nurse before he answers. “He needs more. Please don’t let him be in pain.”

  “He’s in good hands,” she assures me. “I promise.”

  “Ok.”

  Pax kisses my lips softly, and then a little more insistently. The nurse clears her throat, gesturing again at the monitor. I smile against my husband’s lips.

  “I guess I do affect you,” I sigh. “I’ll be back in the morning. Don’t go anywhere.”

  He chuckles, and I get up, but I pause at the door.

  The nurse is checking the pulse at his wrist, and he’s so big and strong, and he looks so out of place in the hospital bed.

  “I love you,” I tell him.

  His eyes are gold as he looks up at me. “I love you, too, Red. Sweet dreams.”

  “Always.”

  I force myself to leave, and Gabe and Maddy walk me through the hospital corridors and out into the chilly night.

  I’m silent as they drive me home, my eyes hot and red from lack of sleep.

  “He’s ok,” my sister reminds me as we pull into my driveway. “You can relax and get some sleep.”

  “I know,” I agree. “Thank you for giving me a ride.”

  “We’ll be back in the morning to take you to your car,” Gabe says gruffly.

  “Thank you, guys,” I murmur as I climb out. “Really.”

  They wait as I unlock the door, and then they drive away, their taillights disappearing into the night.

  I glance at my watch. It’s three-thirty a.am.

  Chelcie is asleep on the sofa and I hesitate to wake her.

  “I’m home,” I tell her softly. “Feel free to stay here tonight, if you’d like.”

  “Is Pax ok?” she asks worriedly, sitting up. I nod. I know she’s sincerely concerned. She’s like family now. She was our waitress over a year ago in a tiny dive café, and after talking with her, we found out that she was an orphan, that she had no money, and she was trying to put herself through college.

  That was all it took. Pax paid her tuition the next day, and she’s been our babysitter ever since.

  “He’s fine,” I tell her. “His spleen ruptured, so they had to take it out. He’ll be in the hospital overnight, but he’s fine.”

  “Oh my God,” she breathes, and her eyes are huge. “I can’t believe it. Did they catch the guy?”

  “No. Not yet. It was a hit and run.”

  “Jesus,” she breathes, pulling off her blanket. “What can I do?”

  “You’ve already done it,” I tell her. “You stayed here with Zu. Thank you, Chelcie. I mean it.”

  “Anytime. Of course.”

  She rubs at her eyes and I glance around the room. It’s large, comfortable, and nice. It’s not over-the-top fancy, because Pax and I aren’t like that. But the furnishings are expensive, tasteful and classic. Our house is large, but it’s still homey.

  “Zuzu is sleeping,” Chelcie adds needlessly. “She went to bed at nine, and she’s been asleep ever since.”

  “Thanks, Chels. You can stay in the guest room, if you want. You probably shouldn’t drive so late.”

  She shakes her head. “I’m fine. I’ve got an exam at eight, so I