by Elyse, Drew
“He’s hard to read.”
She shrugged. “So make it easy: ask him out. If he says yes, he’s into you. That’s all you really need to know.”
Ask him out? No. Nope. Not happening.
She saw the refusal on my face before I put it in words. “Come on. You’re hot. He’s hot, apparently. What do you have to lose?”
I thought about that dejection that came over me when douchebag Chad brought our date to a screaming halt. I hadn’t even liked him—because, well, he was a douchebag. If I put myself on the line like that with Park, that feeling would be crushing.
“My dignity,” I shot back, covering the real depth of it.
“Dignity’s overrated. It didn’t help me find Steve.”
Caroline had met Steve while she was out drinking at her sister’s bachelorette party. She was so drunk she didn’t actually remember the event, but Steve recounted it often. As he told it, blitzed-out-of-her-mind, Caroline sidled up to him while he was getting a drink with a couple buddies, plopped herself right into his lap, and told him point-blank that the next bachelorette party she was going to was her own—when she married him. Incidentally, she was right. He thought she was cute, albeit a drunken mess, but Steve wasn’t the kind of dick that took advantage. He very gently returned her to the party and suggested it was time to get her to bed, though he also took down her number when she slurred it at him. He called the next day to check in on her and ask her out to dinner.
They’d been married for two years.
“Your dignity was lost under a haze of tequila shots,” I pointed out. “I’d have to be willing to ignore mine.” And set myself up for a blow I wasn’t ready to take again so soon in the process.
“All the same, sometimes you have to put yourself out there to get what you want.”
She wasn’t wrong. That didn’t mean I was going to listen, though.
“Did you talk to Sandra about the calendar fundraiser this morning?”
She gave me a droll look. “Really? Just changing the subject.”
I rolled my eyes. “I heard you, I’ll take it to heart. But don’t get your hopes up.”
She leaned back in her chair dramatically. “Fine. Yes, we discussed it. We got the green light to make it happen, but she also suggested trying to put on a party for the release. Maybe a cookout style thing here if the Hoffman PD would be up for it. That way we can encourage more donations to both, and get people in the door to see the adoptable pets.”
“It’s a good idea, but it’s going to take a lot of coordinating.”
She smiled. “That’s why I have you.”
I pretended to be disgruntled, but I was excited about this plan. “Then let’s get to work.”
Chapter Eleven
Park
I could feel him watching me. I didn’t open my eyes, even though I was awake now. This was the new game we’d been playing. Or maybe it was a battle of wills.
Thad was on the nightstand again. It wasn’t always the same spot. Sometimes he chose part of the bed I wasn’t occupying. Rarely, if I was lying close to the edge, he stayed on the floor. If I really waited him out pretending to be asleep, he’d move in until he was sitting on top of me to make his impatience known.
Another day, I’d have fought longer. There was too much on my mind to do it today.
As soon as I opened my eyes, he hopped off the nightstand and padded into the kitchen. He knew me being awake meant he’d get what he was after. I’d hoped when that had started two weeks ago, it’d transfer over into not feeling the need to wake me. That he’d start to trust the food would be coming. So far, that wasn’t happening.
“She’s coming back today,” I informed him once he had his food, and me my coffee.
He looked up at me over his food as he kept eating.
“Might be the last time I’m going to see her unless she comes in for more ink. Jess is going to try to convince me to ask her out. I know it. But it’s not going to happen.”
Why the hell did it feel like my cat was judging me?
“She doesn’t strike me as the hookup type, and I’ve got no business being in a relationship.” That kind of thing took talking and opening up. I didn’t do much of either.
Thad finished eating, and instead of coming in close—his form of affection—he went to the couch, picked a spot, and curled up.
Yeah, my fucking cat was judging me.
Great.
“You’re pacing,” Jess pointed out.
I stopped on a dime. “I’m not.”
“You need to chill.”
“I’m cool. Just waiting.”
Gwen was twenty minutes late for her appointment. Last time, she’d been nearly that early. I didn’t know her enough to say which was the fluke.
“You usually wait at your station.”
And I was thinking then that I should have today. I knew Jess was going to be on me as it was. I didn’t need to give her an opportunity. I had been there getting everything ready, but when Gwen’s appointment time came and went, I got antsy. The time didn’t matter. She was my last appointment tonight, so I could hang out late if she was able to get the tattoo done.
It was Gwen that was under my skin.
The bell went and I swung around to see her rushing in, looking frazzled.
“I’m sorry,” she rushed to say as she sped inside. “So sorry. I had a couple appointments to view apartments, and I guess the times we set up were just suggestions to some people.”
“It’s all good,” I assured.
She nodded, but the stress of rushing didn’t go away.
“Decided to ditch the roommate, huh?” Jess piped up.
Gwen sighed deep. “Actually, the other way.”
Jess grimaced, but asked, “Did you find a place?”
Another sigh. “Yeah, I think so. One I saw yesterday is looking like the best option.”
It didn’t sound enthusiastic, but it wasn’t quite resigned enough to cause concern.
“Anyway,” Gwen said, smiling finally coming out, “shall we get to it?”
“Yeah.”
“I just need to go change.” She pointed to the bathroom at the back and I nodded. Half my fucking brain was calling up the pasties conversation. As she walked away, I couldn’t help but wonder if those still had to go on. If she was going back there and…
“Earth to perv. Come in, perv,” Jess murmured.
It was quiet enough that Gwen couldn’t have heard, but I still snapped, “Shut up.”
She grinned like the evil fucking witch she was.
“It’s not that weird!” Gwen insisted.
“You’re getting a tattoo of a tree branch and you’re afraid of trees.”
“Okay, that wasn’t the best way to put it. I’m not really afraid of trees. I just don’t like that I can’t see what animals are hiding in them.”
“So you’re afraid of animals and work at an animal shelter.”
She faked a groan, but she was laughing through it. “No, I’m not afraid of animals, either. Okay, fine. I’ll tell the story. I was six and was playing in the backyard. My mom brought out a snack and I went to see under a tree to eat it in the shade. I had no idea there was a squirrel there until it dropped down on me and tried to take the granola bar out of my hand. It landed on my head and crawled down my face. It was terrifying.”
I laughed. She was crazy, and it was cute as shit. When I looked up, she was smiling big. It was fucking radiant.
God, the woman was something else.
The tattoo was coming along well. I’d made the transition a while ago to doing the watercolor features, which also meant only going over a couple smaller scars that didn’t seem to bother her as much. The colors were going in without issue and popping against her skin. Even once they healed up and dulled a little, they were going to look great. Probably about another hour and a half of tattooing, and it’d be done.
And she’d be gone.
The bell over the door went, and I loo
ked across the shop to see Braden striding in. Jess was already on her feet, but she let him come to her. I focused on Gwen’s back before I had to see that show again.
“Wow,” Gwen breathed, and I saw she’d turned her head to look that way.
Was it Braden she was reacting to? It wouldn’t be surprising. Dude was even in uniform.
“Jess’s boyfriend, Braden,” I explained.
Did I sound as irritated as I felt?
Shit.
“They’re really something together,” she commented. “The chemistry is… wow. I feel like a creep over here.”
I shouldn’t have been relieved. It didn’t matter if she had been attracted to Braden. But I was. I couldn’t help it.
“They’re a good match,” I agreed. “They had a rough start, she almost let a fucked situation get between them to protect herself. It’s good they worked it out.”
She was turned to face me as best she could over her shoulder again when she said, “Why do I get the feeling you had something to do with that?”
I just shrugged. I might have challenged Jess to think it through, but she’d have gotten there on her own. Or Braden would have gotten to her somehow. They were inevitable.
“I wonder what that’s like,” Gwen mused.
I shouldn’t ask. It wasn’t my business, but it came out anyway. “You’ve never been in love?”
“Like that? The real thing? No. I thought I was when I was young and stupid, but I realized I was wrong fast enough. Have you?”
“No.”
“Someday,” she said, sounding wistful.
She’d get it. Some asshole out there would worship the ground she walked on, and he’d know he was damn lucky to do it.
That, at least, I kept to myself.
I worked in quiet for a few minutes before Gwen’s phone that was on the plastic chair in the corner of my station, started buzzing.
“Crap,” she muttered.
“Need to get that?”
“I can call back, but I should check it if we can take a break.”
“Yeah. Just one minute,” I said, finishing off the curve of one of the leaf buds. Once I wiped her down, I stepped away to give her some privacy.
Braden gave me a jerk of the chin as I approached. “Hey, man.”
“Hey.”
“Just mentioned it to Jess, was thinking of having everyone over to our place next month. The eighteenth. Do a whole thing, kind of an end of summer deal.”
There wasn’t anything given away in how he said it, but I knew. It was something in the way he looked at me when he said it. He was going to propose. Maybe with the whole audience of the people in their lives, maybe before that and it would just be to celebrate. But I knew the time had come.
“Sounds good.”
Jess was about to say something when we all heard a tense, “Shit.”
Gwen hadn’t shouted, but my station wasn’t far, and it had some emotion behind it. I was already on the move before Jess finished her nod that way, telling me to go.
“Everything alright?”
She had her head tilted down, phone pressed flat to her face. Her eyes were clenched shut. I couldn’t tell if it was sadness or frustration that had hold of her. She sighed heavy and hard before dropping the phone.
“That was the landlord of the apartment I settled on. I called on the way here to tell him I’d take it. But someone beat me to it.” She dropped onto the chair, keeping the sweater she had on backward plastered to her front.
“Fuck. I’m sorry.”
She rubbed at her face with both hands, groaning. “It wasn’t a great place, but it was the best I’d found. There are no freaking one-bedrooms available right now for some godforsaken reason, and everyone I can find renting a place is a serious no for one reason or another.” She looked up at me, her eyes tired. “I met with one girl looking for a roommate that told me there was a strict no closed doors policy besides the front door. That included the bathroom.”
What the fuck?
Gwen kept at it. “Not to mention the two dudes that very clearly made their ad sound like it was women living there and specifically said only interested in a female taking the last room. What? Did they think that wasn’t going to come across as being just as creepy as it was when any of us showed up to view it? Come on.
“Kelly’s not giving me a deadline, but I need to get out of there. I just don’t know where the hell to do that to since my options seem to be going from ‘few’ to ‘nothing.’”
I couldn’t fucking explain what possessed me to say it. The only thing I could think was how dejected she looked sitting there. I didn’t like it and she didn’t deserve it. It was the only explanation for the fact that I opened my goddamn mouth and blurted, “I have an extra room.”
She started. Hell, I did too.
Sure, I’d considered the idea of getting a roommate. It had been my plan initially when I moved into the place, but things at Sailor’s Grave had been going so well that I hadn’t needed to, so I’d turned the second room into a studio to work in. Then, when Jess moved in, all those supplies came here so she could use the room. Once she moved in with Braden, I’d had the thought again of renting it out. Living with Jess hadn’t been bad. Sometimes, I actually enjoyed the company.
None of that was a reason to offer it up without a thought to Gwen, though.
“I… What?”
Yeah, her confusion was warranted. I probably sounded about as good as those assholes that were trying to trick women into showing up at their place.
“I’ve got a two-bedroom. Jess used to live in the other one,” I explained. “I’d been considering finding a roommate after she left, but just never got around to it. If you’re really not finding anything, you could come take a look. Even if it’s just temporary until you can find a better option.”
I needed to stop talking. That was a thought I’d never had before, but it was the truth. I did not need to keep digging this hole any deeper.
So what the fuck did I do?
Kept right on digging.
“I know we barely know each other, but the offer’s on the table. I’m in a building over on Alexander. Spacious. There’s a master bath off my room, so the other would be all yours. It’s probably weird for me to even mention it, so go ahead and ignore it if you want. Just putting it out there.”
It was really fucking quiet and a lot more tense—whether that was just me or both of us, I didn’t know—for a long time before she spoke up. “Thank you. I… I’m not sure what to do. I have to think about my options now.”
“Get that. And I’m not going to be offended if that’s not an option you’re even up for considering. But you’ve got my number the card from last week?” She nodded. “If you want to discuss it, you can call. That’s all.”
Her face relaxed into a small, grateful smile, and my stomach unclenched in response. “Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Which sounded like a no, but I expected that. I was just glad it wasn’t a demand that I get the hell away from her.
“Want to get back to it?” I offered, wanting to move on from making this uncomfortable as hell. “Not much more until we’re done.”
Her smile grew a little more. “I’m ready.”
Chapter Twelve
Gwen
“What do you think?”
What did I think? There weren’t words, and I always had words.
Nothing, not even the final design Park showed me three weeks ago and then had me look over again before he started in on the watercolor features that very day, could have prepared me to see the finished product. There was no way to be ready for the feeling of looking where I was used to seeing one of my most heinous scars, and instead seeing a piece of art that took my breath away.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been standing there using both mirrors to study it, but it wasn’t long enough. I was still speechless. My lungs were burning, my eyes stinging, my throat tightening up.
“Gwen?”
<
br /> I had to say something, or he’d probably start to assume I hated it. That would be criminal. He deserved to know that I was absolutely blown away. I didn’t know what words to use to convey that, but I swallowed back the emotion blocking my throat and rasped out the first thing that came.
“I could kiss you.”
Wait. What?
“I… um… I mean…”
Oh my god. This was the pasties all over again. Maybe worse.
Get it together, Gwen.
“Sorry. That was weird. It’s just so perfect. I don’t even know what to say. I love it so much,” I rushed to explain.
His lips tilted more than the last few times, and that low, warm laugh that felt like sinking into a hot bath rolled over me again. “Good. I’m glad.”
The stupid thought came to me that I wanted to make him laugh like that again. Not just once or twice, but all the time.
I focused back on the tattoo. Like I knew they would, the colors brought it to life. What I hadn’t expected was to fall in love with the branch itself the way it did. Against the wispy watercolors, it felt steady, strong. The scar beneath it always made me feel unsteady. Not anymore.
Park set about getting me set to go home, and I tried to find the words to express what I was feeling, what his work meant. But everything came up short, so I just let him repeat the aftercare instructions, listening intently even though I’d just done it all because I would do nothing to risk damaging this tattoo.
He walked me to the front, where Jess would help me check out.
“You’ve got my card?” he asked when we got there.
“Yes.”
“If you have any questions, or anything else comes up, call.”
He meant the offer to move in with him but wasn’t going to put me on the spot about it again. I couldn’t even contemplate that. Not right then, with him standing there. I wasn’t sure I could at all.
No, I’d find something else. Stay with Kelly—and Jeff—a little longer. Make it work.
“Okay.”
He tapped the top of the high desk twice, then moved a step back like he was going to walk away. I couldn’t let him yet.
