Scarred: Sailor’s Grave #3

by Elyse, Drew

  God, he was sweet. It reminded me exactly why I was fighting for this, why I wouldn’t give up easily. Carson’s words from weeks ago whispered in my ear, something they’d done often since he said them.

  But you do manage to knock that wall down, he’ll be worth every bit of that effort. If you can get him to give you all that he’s holding in, I expect he’ll give you everything.

  He was right. I knew it. I just wasn’t so sure I could manage to give Park that.

  But I wasn’t done trying.

  “Come on,” I said eventually, stepping out of his warmth. He was reluctant to let go as I was to move. “I’m done for the day. Let’s get out of here.”

  My whole body was on fire.

  I’d always thought make-up sex was a myth. When I’d dated before, a fight usually meant none of that for a while. Right then, I was seeing a whole new light.

  And we hadn’t even gotten to the sex yet.

  Park and I had come home and had dinner together. It’d been stilted, but he had made a point to share about his day. While it wasn’t what I really wanted him to be sharing, the effort on his part with no coaxing from me meant a lot.

  The efforts he’d begun after dinner were even better.

  He didn’t jump me immediately. He was smart enough to know that wouldn’t be the way.

  No, first he’d settled us on the couch and encouraged me to lie back and get comfortable. He turned on one of our shows but wasted no time settling my feet in his lap and rubbing them rather than paying attention. He took his time, until it felt like my whole body had relaxed just from his ministrations. It was only then that he started working his way up my calves, my thighs, and coaxing me to flip over to get my back.

  I was so blissed out that I was wondering if I should warn him that he was going to make me fall asleep when he really started.

  Which led to that moment, almost an hour—or several hours, I wasn’t convinced that clock was right—later. I’d already come twice, and still he kept at me. My nerve endings felt like one giant live wire. Every thrust of his fingers inside me felt like it might trigger another orgasm.

  “Park,” I whined, not even sure what I wanted anymore.

  He slid his fingers out of me and I cried out at the loss.

  “Shh beautiful. Just give me one second.”

  I didn’t want to. I wanted more, wanted him to do something about this wildfire he’d stoked. Then he jumped to his feet and tore off his clothes, and I decided I could wait. His cock sprang free as he lowered his jeans, hard and glorious and so much more appealing than his fingers. I reached out to wrap my hand around it, but he caught my wrist.

  “Not so fast.”

  “Fast,” I protested.

  He chuckled, and I felt it between my legs. Damn him.

  He came back, climbing over me. I spread my thighs happily for him, but he didn’t come inside. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me and rolled until I was on top. His hands dropped to my hips.

  This, I could hardly believe it until it hit me in that moment, we hadn’t done. As much sex as we’d had over the last weeks, I’d never been on top. Every time things heated up, he took that gentle control that I loved. We’d explored a lot of different positions, but this had never been one.

  “Ride me, gorgeous.”

  Oh, yes.

  Yes, please.

  I didn’t need convincing. I rolled my hips to find the tip of his cock, shifted, and sunk all the way down.

  “Fuck,” he grunted, and I felt the vibration of it where my hands were pressed to his chest.

  I stayed there, loving the feeling of him inside me, filling me up. I ground down a bit, working my clit against him.

  “Ride me,” Park repeated. It was a warning this time.

  I could do that.

  I reared up and dropped back down, realizing that he was right. That was so much better. I didn’t stop, didn’t slow. Every time I took him deep felt better than the last. It was building again, but I wouldn’t let go, not without him.

  Arching my back, I reached behind me to cup his balls, massaging them. He gave a harsh grunt before his hands clamped on my hips. He began lifting and lowering me, faster even than I’d been taking him. Using my body to get himself there and pushing me over the edge in the process.

  I shattered, lost completely in the orgasm that overtook me. I couldn’t even keep moving with his push and pull. It didn’t matter, he took over entirely, working me right through it until he yanked me down hard and came deep inside me.

  Oh yeah.

  I didn’t want to fight—or whatever it was we’d done—with Park.

  But make-up sex was so worth it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Gwen

  Park and I walked down the sidewalk, my hand in his, the late summer sun shining. Since neither of us had to work, we’d gone to breakfast at a little place a couple blocks away. We’d opted to walk there and enjoy the weather while we could. We were headed back, figuring out what the rest of the day had in store for us.

  It had been a little over a week since I’d told Park what I needed from him. I knew since that day he’d been making an effort. I now knew he’d been born in Seattle and lived there until he was eighteen. I knew he’d never met any grandparents or aunts and uncles if he had any. I also knew, though he’d been particularly hesitant to admit it, that he’d dropped out of school at fifteen and had gotten his GED just last year.

  I took everything he gave, showing him firsthand what it meant to me to learn these things about him.

  Still, we both knew that he was only scratching the surface of that wall, not bringing it down. I was content to wait for now while he worked his way up to it, but that ticking clock still weighed heavily on us both.

  There were times, moments like this where it was hard to feel anything but happy to be right where I was with Park, that I wondered if I was making a mistake. Maybe getting into all that had come before didn’t matter. I questioned if Carson, for all he knew Park, had been wrong. Maybe accepting him as he was, walls and all, was what he needed.

  I’d gone to Caroline with those thoughts a few days ago.

  “No. Don’t go there.”

  “But what if—”

  She cut me off, not even listening to my argument. “Let me ask you something. If Carson had never said any of that, if that whole conversation never happened and you were just moving forward with Park, would it bother you that he wasn’t sharing?”

  “Yes.”

  “Enough that it would be a strain on your relationship that he didn’t give you that?”

  I didn’t want to answer that. Caroline sensed it.

  “You know it would. Maybe there are people that would argue digging through the past isn’t necessary. Maybe, honestly, even though I know you don’t want to hear it, that is what Park needs. But relationships only work if they work for both people. You need that. You need to feel like you can bare all with the man you’re with, and that he trusts you enough to do the same. There’s nothing wrong with that. If that’s what you need, it’s on him to figure out if he needs that privacy or to give that to you more.”

  She’d been right. I hadn’t wanted to hear that this point of contention might mean that we simply weren’t compatible. I hadn’t wanted to consider that falling for Park didn’t mean we worked. However, I’d needed to acknowledge that. I had to accept the reality of the situation, or else I was too likely to give in on something that was important to me like I had been close to doing already.

  Since then, I’d made a decision. I would enjoy my time with Park, keep pushing for more of him, hope that this kept being great. If it didn’t work out, I’d only agonize over that when the time came that I had to.

  So on a sunny day, walking next to him, I was enjoying.

  “Maybe we should go away for a weekend,” Park suggested.

  “Where?”

  “Carson’s got a cabin he’s always telling us we can use anytime he’s not up ther
e. It’s quiet, right on a lake. There’s a full deck with a porch swing around back facing out to the dock. He’d got cats, so he won’t care if we bring Thad and he sheds on everything.”

  I leaned into him, hooking my arm into his and resting my cheek against his shoulder. “That sounds nice.”

  “I’ll talk to him about when we’d be good to borrow it.”

  We kept walking, turning around a corner, and then I heard it.

  “Gwen!”

  Up ahead, Kelly was waving exuberantly at me while Jeff stood at her side, scowling. Not about to let that jackass ruin my day, or her good mood if I could help it, I went right to her and accepted the hug she offered.

  “How are you?” I asked, wishing I could do it without the audience.

  We’d exchanged texts a few times, but I was surprised that attempts to make plans always came to a grinding halt around the time she’d mention talking to Jeff to check their schedule.

  “I’m good. How’re you?” She looked to Park, who’d rested a hand on my lower back. “And who’s this?”

  “Good. This is my boyfriend, Park.” I looked to him to see his face was its usual passive, but his attention was fixed on Jeff.

  “Park…” She thought about that for a second. “As in the guy you were moving in with?”

  There it was, for the shortcomings she might have, she cared about her friends. Enough to remember the name of the guy I moved in with even though I’d probably said it less than a handful of times months ago.

  “That’s the one.”

  She smiled, big, toothy, all happiness for me. “Wow. That’s so great. Maybe things happen for a reason.”

  The only reason was that Jeff was a prick. There was no reason Park and I couldn’t have started dating without moving in together. It might have made things easier not to have that line we’d both drawn in the sand.

  I didn’t tell her that. She needed to believe that it was for the best that Jeff had moved in and he demanded I move out. I could let her hold onto that.

  “Maybe.”

  “Babe, we got places to be,” Jeff muttered then. It wasn’t a reminder, it was a warning.

  “Right,” she replied, a little crestfallen. She focused on me again. “We’ll catch up soon. Yeah?”

  “Anytime.”

  She hugged me again, gave Park a smile, then let Jeff usher her ahead of him. As he followed, he shifted into my path and shoulder checked me. The fucking dick.

  I shook it off, done with letting him rile me, but felt Park move. I faced him to see his expression was decidedly not blank anymore. He was pissed. More pissed than I’d ever seen from him. By far.

  On instinct, I put both hands out to press against his chest and stop him.

  “Whoa.”

  His eyes cut down to me. “That fucker just ran into you. No. No fucking way he’s going to treat you like that.”

  He tried to move away, but I scrambled to grab onto the sleeves of his t-shirt and hold him back.

  “Park, no. He’s not worth it.”

  “You’re worth it.”

  That was sweet, even said seething through gritted teeth.

  “Please, for me. Please just drop this.”

  He didn’t want to. That war played out on his face in a way I’d never seen. Park was usually self-contained, but right now every thought was right there in his eyes.

  I knew I hadn’t won yet, so I pushed. “Kelly’s got enough to handle with him. I don’t want to make things worse just to get back at him. He won’t learn anything if you confront him. He’s too fucking full of himself.”

  “He might learn something if I knock his fucking teeth out.”

  Holy crap.

  I thought he’d wanted to yell at him. I didn’t realize he was…

  “Please, honey. Let’s go home.”

  He clenched his eyes shut, taking a visible breath. Maybe counting to ten or envisioning doing whatever he wanted to Jeff. When he opened them again, that anger hadn’t faded, not at all. It was still there in every set line of his face, scorching from his dark eyes. But he gave one curt nod.

  I knew we weren’t out of the woods yet, but I figured distance was a good start. Taking his hand that held my back stiff, tight enough that it wasn’t comfortable—though I didn’t say anything—we started walking.

  Instead of relaxing as time and space built up, Park seemed to be getting more tense. By the time we made it back to our building, I couldn’t handle the way that fury radiated off of him and released a relieved breath when he dropped my hand for us to take the stairs up.

  The second the door to our apartment shut behind us, he turned on me.

  “Tell me about that cunt.”

  I froze. The word, the menace thick in his voice, it was so unlike him I wasn’t sure what to do.

  “Gwen.”

  “He’s just an asshole. That’s all.”

  “What kind of asshole?”

  I really didn’t think getting into this was a good idea.

  “Can’t we just let this go? He doesn’t matter.”

  “Some dick walks up to my girl, glaring at her the whole fucking time, then pulls that shit? No, I won’t let that go. Haven’t missed that this isn’t the first time you’ve avoided talking about him. I know there’s something up here, so right now you’re going to tell me what the fuck that is.”

  I was avoiding talking about something? Really?

  He wanted to go there?

  “So you can keep whatever you want secret but the second I have something I don’t want to talk about, that’s unacceptable?”

  “Gwen.” My name was a warning. I didn’t care.

  “No. That’s not cool, Park, and you know it. But because I’m the one that is pro-communication around here, fine. I’ll tell you. I’ve avoided talking about Jeff because just thinking about him pisses me off. He’s a dick in general, a dick to me, and I know he’s a dick to Kelly, but she’s a grown woman so there’s nothing I can do to get him out of her life if she wants him there. So his name even coming up, sets me off. But, hey, I’m already there anyway, so whatever.”

  I really was there. Full throttle pissed in a way I didn’t often get. Park trying to pull that argument so close on the heels of seeing fucking Jeff would do that.

  “Jeff’s been a dick to me since Kelly first brought him around. Partly, I think it’s because he sees her as his golden goose and didn’t want me in the way interfering with that, especially when he realized that I saw right through him and would do my best to get her to. Partly, I think it’s just because he’s an asshole by nature and doesn’t check that impulse.

  “He’d take my parking spot, blast porn constantly, eat all of my food instead of Kelly’s or—god forbid—buying some of his own for our apartment. He talked down to her, to me, to every person I ever heard him speak to. He bitched about everything until Kelly gave him his way, including him moving him and forcing me out.

  “He’d talk shit to me all the time. Comments about me being a bitch, comments about how I was freeloading off of Kelly—which was fucking hilarious seeing as I paid my way unlike that jackass—and comments about my scars and how hideous I was.”

  There was a part of me seeing Park, seeing that his entire body was strung tight, seeing that his face was like a storm and darkening by the second. The rest of me was too far gone, too investing in letting loose, to care.

  “Apparently, I wasn’t getting on the moving out thing quick enough for his liking. He wanted Kelly alone so he could manipulate her into keeping him in the life he wanted without me pushing back on her behalf. So he set about getting me out. And the worst part is that I let him win. I knew it was what he was after, and I let him get to me and gave it to him.”

  “How?” Park’s voice was like lightning cracking through the room. “How exactly did he get you out?”

  His anger, his demands for more out of me, snapped something. He wanted to know so bad? Fine.

  “He threatened me. Told me he ought
to teach me to shut up,” I spat. “Said that I had to learn to not to run my mouth because with the way I look, no man would accept my attitude. He said pretty women could get away with mouthing off, but I wasn’t one of them. In fact, according to him, with how fucked up my face and body are, I’ll be lucky if I don’t die alone.”

  I should have taken a breath, should have read what was happening in the room before I went off. I didn’t, and that was a mistake.

  Because there wasn’t a storm in Parker’s expression anymore.

  There was a cataclysm.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Park

  “He said what?”

  Gwen’s tirade had stopped, and now she looked worried. Given that she’d already established that she didn’t want me going after that motherfucker, she should be.

  “Park…”

  “He said that shit to you?”

  “He’s an asshole. It’s not a big—”

  Fuck. No.

  “Do not say it’s not a big deal,” I cut her off. “Don’t tell me it wasn’t a big deal that he got in your face, spouted that shit at you, and fucking threatened you. You weren’t even considering taking me up on the offer to move in here and then suddenly you’re calling to set up a meeting to discuss it. Are you telling me that him pulling that shit wasn’t the reason?”

  She didn’t say anything, which said every damn thing.

  “I stood right here in this fucking living room and saw what people saying shit about your scars did to you. You even fucking mentioned him that day. You honestly going to tell me it didn’t cut you?”

  “Park,” she tried again.

  “You can’t, because you know he’s an asshole or not, that shit he spat at you hit the mark. And it shouldn’t have, because it was bullshit, but he scored that hit then, and then he physically fucking hit you today.”

  I got out my phone, looking for a number I’d never used, but was glad I had now more than ever.