Tik-Tok of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 16

  The Naughty Nome

  Shaggy Man had said nothing during the conversation between Queen Ann andQuox, for the simple reason that he did not consider the matter worthan argument. Safe within his pocket reposed the Love Magnet, which hadnever failed to win every heart. The nomes, he knew, were not like theheartless Roses and therefore could be won to his side as soon as heexhibited the magic talisman.

  Shaggy's chief anxiety had been to reach Ruggedo's Kingdom and now thatthe entrance lay before him he was confident he would be able to rescuehis lost brother. Let Ann and the dragon quarrel as to who should conquerthe nomes, if they liked; Shaggy would let them try, and if they failedhe had the means of conquest in his own pocket.

  But Ann was positive she could not fail, for she thought her Army coulddo anything. So she called the officers together and told them how toact, and she also instructed Tik-Tok what to do and what to say.

  "Please do not shoot your gun except as a last resort," she added, "forI do not wish to be cruel or to shed any blood--unless it is absolutelynecessary."

  "All right," replied Tik-Tok; "but I do not think Rug-ge-do would bleedif I filled him full of holes and put him in a ci-der press."

  Then the officers fell in line, the four Generals abreast and then thefour Colonels and the four Majors and the four Captains. They drew theirglittering swords and commanded Tik-Tok to march, which he did. Twicehe fell down, being tripped by the rough rocks, but when he struck thesmooth path he got along better. Into the gloomy mouth of the cavernentrance he stepped without hesitation, and after him proudly pranced theofficers and Queen Ann. The others held back a little, waiting to seewhat would happen.

  Of course the Nome King knew they were coming and was prepared to receivethem. Just within the rocky passage that led to the jeweled throne-roomwas a deep pit, which was usually covered. Ruggedo had ordered the coverremoved and it now stood open, scarcely visible in the gloom.

  The pit was so large around that it nearly filled the passage and therewas barely room for one to walk around it by pressing close to the rockwalls. This Tik-Tok did, for his copper eyes saw the pit clearly and heavoided it; but the officers marched straight into the hole and tumbledin a heap on the bottom. An instant later Queen Ann also walked intothe pit, for she had her chin in the air and was careless where sheplaced her feet. Then one of the nomes pulled a lever which replaced thecover on the pit and made the officers of Oogaboo and their Queen fastprisoners.

  As for Tik-Tok, he kept straight on to the cavern where Ruggedo sat inhis throne and there he faced the Nome King and said:

  "I here-by con-quer you in the name of Queen Ann So-forth of Oo-ga-boo,whose Ar-my I am, and I de-clare that you are her pris-on-er!"

  Ruggedo laughed at him.

  "Where is this famous Queen?" he asked.

  "She'll be here in a min-ute," said Tik-Tok. "Per-haps she stopped to tieher shoe-string."

  "Now, see here, Tik-Tok," began the Nome King, in a stern voice, "I'vehad enough of this nonsense. Your Queen and her officers are allprisoners, having fallen into my power, so perhaps you'll tell me whatyou mean to do."

  "My or-ders were to con-quer you," replied Tik-Tok, "and my ma-chin-er-yhas done the best it knows how to car-ry out those or-ders."

  Ruggedo pounded on his gong and Kaliko appeared, followed closely byGeneral Guph.

  "Take this copper man into the shops and set him to work hammering gold,"commanded the King. "Being run by machinery he ought to be a steadyworker. He ought never to have been made, but since he exists I shallhereafter put him to good use."

  "If you try to cap-ture me," said Tik-Tok, "I shall fight."

  "Don't do that!" exclaimed General Guph, earnestly, "for it will beuseless to resist and you might hurt some one."

  But Tik-Tok raised his gun and took aim and not knowing what damage thegun might do the nomes were afraid to face it.

  While he was thus defying the Nome King and his high officials, BetsyBobbin rode calmly into the royal cavern, seated upon the back of Hankthe mule. The little girl had grown tired of waiting for "something tohappen" and so had come to see if Ruggedo had been conquered.

  "Nails and nuggets!" roared the King; "how dare you bring that beast hereand enter my presence unannounced?"

  "There wasn't anybody to announce me," replied Betsy. "I guess your folkswere all busy. Are you conquered yet?"

  "No!" shouted the King, almost beside himself with rage.

  "Then please give me something to eat, for I'm awful hungry," said thegirl. "You see, this conquering business is a good deal like waiting fora circus parade; it takes a long time to get around and don't amount tomuch anyhow."

  The nomes were so much astonished at this speech that for a time theycould only glare at her silently, not finding words to reply. The Kingfinally recovered the use of his tongue and said:

  "Earth-crawler! this insolence to my majesty shall be your death-warrant.You are an ordinary mortal, and to stop a mortal from living is so easy athing to do that I will not keep you waiting half so long as you did formy conquest."

  "I'd rather you wouldn't stop me from living," remarked Betsy, gettingoff Hank's back and standing beside him. "And it would be a prettycheap King who killed a visitor while she was hungry. If you'll giveme something to eat, I'll talk this killing business over with youafterward; only, I warn you now that I don't approve of it, and neverwill."

  Her coolness and lack of fear impressed the Nome King, although he borean intense hatred toward all mortals.

  "What do you wish to eat?" he asked gruffly.

  "Oh, a ham-sandwich would do, or perhaps a couple of hard-boiled eggs--"

  "Eggs!" shrieked the three nomes who were present, shuddering till theirteeth chattered.

  "What's the matter?" asked Betsy wonderingly. "Are eggs as high here asthey are at home?"

  "Guph," said the King in an agitated voice, turning to his General, "letus destroy this rash mortal at once! Seize her and take her to the SlimyCave and lock her in."

  Guph glanced at Tik-Tok, whose gun was still pointed, but just thenKaliko stole softly behind the copper man and kicked his knee-joints sothat they suddenly bent forward and tumbled Tik-Tok to the floor, his gunfalling from his grasp.

  Then Guph, seeing Tik-Tok helpless, made a grab at Betsy. At the sametime Hank's heels shot out and caught the General just where his belt wasbuckled. He rose into the air swift as a cannon-ball, struck the NomeKing fairly and flattened his Majesty against the wall of rock on theopposite side of the cavern. Together they fell to the floor in a dazedand crumpled condition, seeing which Kaliko whispered to Betsy:

  "Come with me--quick!--and I will save you."

  She looked into Kaliko's face inquiringly and thought he seemed honestand good-natured, so she decided to follow him. He led her and themule through several passages and into a small cavern very nicely andcomfortably furnished.

  "This is my own room," said he, "but you are quite welcome to use it.Wait here a minute and I'll get you something to eat."

  When Kaliko returned he brought a tray containing some broiled mushrooms,a loaf of mineral bread and some petroleum-butter. The butter Betsy couldnot eat, but the bread was good and the mushrooms delicious.

  "Here's the door key," said Kaliko, "and you'd better lock yourself in."

  "Won't you let Polychrome and the Rose Princess come here, too?" sheasked.

  "I'll see. Where are they?"

  "I don't know. I left them outside," said Betsy.

  "Well, if you hear three raps on the door, open it," said Kaliko; "butdon't let anyone in unless they give the three raps."

  "All right," promised Betsy, and when Kaliko left the cosy cavern sheclosed and locked the door.

  In the meantime Ann and her officers, finding themselves prisoners in thepit, had shouted and screamed until they were tired out, but no one hadcome to their assistance. It was very dark and damp in the pit and theyc
ould not climb out because the walls were higher than their heads andthe cover was on. The Queen was first angry and then annoyed and thendiscouraged; but the officers were only afraid. Every one of the poorfellows heartily wished he was back in Oogaboo caring for his orchard,and some were so unhappy that they began to reproach Ann for causing themall this trouble and danger.

  Finally the Queen sat down on the bottom of the pit and leaned her backagainst the wall. By good luck her sharp elbow touched a secret spring inthe wall and a big flat rock swung inward. Ann fell over backward, butthe next instant she jumped up and cried to the others:

  "A passage! A passage! Follow me, my brave men, and we may yet escape."

  Then she began to crawl through the passage, which was as dark and dankas the pit, and the officers followed her in single file. They crawled,and they crawled, and they kept on crawling, for the passage was not bigenough to allow them to stand upright. It turned this way and twistedthat, sometimes like a corkscrew and sometimes zigzag, but seldom ran forlong in a straight line.

  "It will never end--never!" moaned the officers, who were rubbing all theskin off their knees on the rough rocks.

  "It _must_ end," retorted Ann courageously, "or it never would have beenmade. We don't know where it will lead us to, but any place is betterthan that loathsome pit."

  So she crawled on, and the officers crawled on, and while they werecrawling through this awful underground passage Polychrome and Shaggy andFiles and the Rose Princess, who were standing outside the entrance toRuggedo's domains, were wondering what had become of them.