Tik-Tok of Oz

by L. Frank Baum

  CHAPTER 22

  Kindly Kisses

  "Won't you be dreadful sorry to leave this lovely place?" Betsy asked theUgly One.

  "No, indeed," said he. "Jewels and gold are cold and heartless things,and I am sure I would presently have died of loneliness had I not foundthis natural forest at the edge of the artificial one. Anyhow, withoutthese real trees I should soon have starved to death."

  Betsy looked around at the quaint trees.

  "I don't just understand that," she admitted. "What could you find to eathere?"

  "The best food in the world," Ugly answered. "Do you see that grove atyour left?" he added, pointing it out; "well, such trees as those do notgrow in your country, or in any other place but this cavern. I have namedthem 'Hotel Trees,' because they bear a certain kind of table d'hote fruitcalled 'Three-Course Nuts.'"

  "That's funny!" said Betsy. "What are the 'Three-Course Nuts' like?"

  "Something like cocoanuts, to look at," explained the Ugly One. "Allyou have to do is to pick one of them and then sit down and eat yourdinner. You first unscrew the top part and find a cupfull of good soup.After you've eaten that, you unscrew the middle part and find a hollowfilled with meat and potatoes, vegetables and a fine salad. Eat that,and unscrew the next section, and you come to the dessert in the bottomof the nut. That is pie and cake, cheese and crackers, and nuts andraisins. The Three-Course Nuts are not all exactly alike in flavor or incontents, but they are all good and in each one may be found a completethree-course dinner."

  "But how about breakfasts?" inquired Betsy.

  "Why, there are Breakfast Trees for that, which grow over there at theright. They bear nuts, like the others, only the nuts contain coffee orchocolate, instead of soup; oatmeal instead of meat-and-potatoes, andfruits instead of dessert. Sad as has been my life in this wonderfulprison, I must admit that no one could live more luxuriously in the besthotel in the world than I have lived here; but I will be glad to getinto the open air again and see the good old sun and the silvery moon andthe soft green grass and the flowers that are kissed by the morning dew.Ah, how much more lovely are those blessed things than the glitter ofgems or the cold gleam of gold!"

  "Of course," said Betsy. "I once knew a little boy who wanted to catchthe measles, because all the little boys in his neighborhood but him hadhad 'em, and he was really unhappy 'cause he couldn't catch 'em, try ashe would. So I'm pretty certain that the things we want, and can't have,are not good for us. Isn't that true, Shaggy?"

  "Not always, my dear," he gravely replied. "If we didn't want anything,we would never get anything, good or bad. I think our longings arenatural, and if we act as nature prompts us we can't go far wrong."

  "For my part," said Queen Ann, "I think the world would be a dreary placewithout the gold and jewels."

  "All things are good in their way," said Shaggy; "but we may have toomuch of any good thing. And I have noticed that the value of anythingdepends upon how scarce it is, and how difficult it is to obtain."

  "Pardon me for interrupting you," said King Kaliko, coming to their side,"but now that we have rescued Shaggy's brother I would like to returnto my royal cavern. Being the King of the Nomes, it is my duty to lookafter my restless subjects and see that they behave themselves."

  So they all turned and began walking through the Metal Forest to theother side of the great domed cave, where they had first entered it.Shaggy and his brother walked side by side and both seemed rejoiced thatthey were together after their long separation. Betsy didn't dare look atthe polka-dot handkerchief, for fear she would laugh aloud; so she walkedbehind the two brothers and led Hank by holding fast to his left ear.

  When at last they reached the place where the passage led to the outerworld, Queen Ann said, in a hesitating way that was unusual with her:

  "I have not conquered this Nome Country, nor do I expect to do so; butI would like to gather a few of these pretty jewels before I leave thisplace."

  "Help yourself, ma'am," said King Kaliko, and at once the officers ofthe Army took advantage of his royal permission and began filling theirpockets, while Ann tied a lot of diamonds in a big handkerchief.

  This accomplished, they all entered the passage, the nomes going first tolight the way with their torches. They had not proceeded far when Betsyexclaimed:

  "Why, there are jewels here, too!"

  All eyes were turned upon the ground and they found a regular trail ofjewels strewn along the rock floor.

  "This is queer!" said Kaliko, much surprised. "I must send some of mynomes to gather up these gems and replace them in the Metal Forest, wherethey belong. I wonder how they came to be here?"

  All the way along the passage they found this trail of jewels, but whenthey neared the end the mystery was explained. For there, squatted uponthe floor with his back to the rock wall, sat old Ruggedo, puffing andblowing as if he was all tired out. Then they realized it was he who hadscattered the jewels, from his many pockets, which one by one had burstwith the weight of their contents as he had stumbled along the passage.

  "But I don't mind," said Ruggedo, with a deep sigh. "I now realize that Icould not have carried such a weighty load very far, even had I managedto escape from this passage with it. The woman who sewed the pockets onmy robe used poor thread, for which I shall thank her."

  "Have you any jewels left?" inquired Betsy.

  He glanced into some of the remaining pockets.

  "A few," said he, "but they will be sufficient to supply my wants, and Ino longer have any desire to be rich. If some of you will kindly help meto rise, I'll get out of here and leave you, for I know you all despiseme and prefer my room to my company."

  Shaggy and Kaliko raised the old King to his feet, when he was confrontedby Shaggy's brother, whom he now noticed for the first time. The queerand unexpected appearance of the Ugly One so startled Ruggedo that hegave a wild cry and began to tremble, as if he had seen a ghost.

  "Wh--wh--who is this?" he faltered.

  "I am that helpless prisoner whom your cruel magic transformed from ahandsome man into an ugly one!" answered Shaggy's brother, in a voice ofstern reproach.

  "Really, Ruggedo," said Betsy, "you ought to be ashamed of that meantrick."

  "I am, my dear," admitted Ruggedo, who was now as meek and humble asformerly he had been cruel and vindictive.

  "Then," returned the girl, "you'd better do some more magic and give thepoor man his own face again."

  "I wish I could," answered the old King; "but you must remember thatTititi-Hoochoo has deprived me of all my magic powers. However, I nevertook the trouble to learn just how to break the charm I cast overShaggy's brother, for I intended he should always remain ugly."

  "Every charm," remarked pretty Polychrome, "has its antidote; and, if youknew this charm of ugliness, Ruggedo, you must have known how to dispelit."

  He shook his head.

  "If I did, I--I've forgotten," he stammered regretfully.

  "Try to think!" pleaded Shaggy, anxiously. "_Please_ try to think!"

  Ruggedo ruffled his hair with both hands, sighed, slapped his chest,rubbed his ear, and stared stupidly around the group.

  "I've a faint recollection that there _was_ one thing that would breakthe charm," said he; "but misfortune has so addled my brain that I can'tremember what it was."

  "See here, Ruggedo," said Betsy, sharply, "we've treated you pretty well,so far, but we won't stand for any nonsense, and if you know what's goodfor yourself you'll think of that charm!"

  "Why?" he demanded, turning to look wonderingly at the little girl.

  "Because it means so much to Shaggy's brother. He's dreadfully ashamed ofhimself, the way he is now, and you're to blame for it. Fact is, Ruggedo,you've done so much wickedness in your life that it won't hurt you to doa kind act now."

  Ruggedo blinked at her, and sighed again, and then tried very hard tothink.

  "I seem to remember, dimly," said he, "that a certain kind of a
kiss willbreak the charm of ugliness."

  "What kind of a kiss?"

  "What kind? Why, it was--it was--it was either the kiss of a Mortal Maid;or--or--the kiss of a Mortal Maid who had once been a Fairy; or--or thekiss of one who is still a Fairy. I can't remember which. But of courseno maid, mortal or fairy, would ever consent to kiss a person so ugly--sodreadfully, fearfully, terribly ugly--as Shaggy's brother."

  "I'm not so sure of that," said Betsy, with admirable courage; "I'm aMortal Maid, and if it is _my_ kiss that will break this awful charm,I--I'll do it!"

  "Oh, you really couldn't," protested Ugly. "I would be obliged to removemy mask, and when you saw my face, nothing could induce you to kiss me,generous as you are."

  "Well, as for that," said the little girl, "I needn't see your face atall. Here's my plan: You stay in this dark passage, and we'll send awaythe nomes with their torches. Then you'll take off the handkerchief, andI--I'll kiss you."

  "This is awfully kind of you, Betsy!" said Shaggy, gratefully.

  "Well, it surely won't kill me," she replied; "and, if it makes you andyour brother happy, I'm willing to take some chances."

  So Kaliko ordered the torch-bearers to leave the passage, which theydid by going through the rock opening. Queen Ann and her army also wentout; but the others were so interested in Betsy's experiment that theyremained grouped at the mouth of the passageway. When the big rock swunginto place, closing tight the opening, they were left in total darkness.

  "Now, then," called Betsy in a cheerful voice, "have you got thathandkerchief off your face, Ugly?"

  "Yes," he replied.

  "Well, where are you, then?" she asked, reaching out her arms.

  "Here," said he.

  "You'll have to stoop down, you know."

  He found her hands and clasping them in his own stooped until his facewas near to that of the little girl. The others heard a clear, smackingkiss, and then Betsy exclaimed:

  "There! I've done it, and it didn't hurt a bit!"

  "Tell me, dear brother; is the charm broken?" asked Shaggy.

  "I do not know," was the reply. "It may be, or it may not be. I cannottell."

  "Has anyone a match?" inquired Betsy.

  "I have several," said Shaggy.

  "Then let Ruggedo strike one of them and look at your brother's face,while we all turn our backs. Ruggedo made your brother ugly, so I guesshe can stand the horror of looking at him, if the charm isn't broken."

  Agreeing to this, Ruggedo took the match and lighted it. He gave one lookand then blew out the match.

  "Ugly as ever!" he said with a shudder. "So it wasn't the kiss of aMortal Maid, after all."

  "Let me try," proposed the Rose Princess, in her sweet voice. "I am aMortal Maid who was once a Fairy. Perhaps my kiss will break the charm."

  Files did not wholly approve of this, but he was too generous tointerfere. So the Rose Princess felt her way through the darkness toShaggy's brother and kissed him.

  Ruggedo struck another match, while they all turned away.

  "No," announced the former King; "that didn't break the charm, either.It must be the kiss of a Fairy that is required--or else my memory hasfailed me altogether."

  "Polly," said Betsy, pleadingly, "won't _you_ try?"

  "Of course I will!" answered Polychrome, with a merry laugh. "I've neverkissed a mortal man in all the thousands of years I have existed, butI'll do it to please our faithful Shaggy Man, whose unselfish affectionfor his ugly brother deserves to be rewarded."

  Even as Polychrome was speaking she tripped lightly to the side of theUgly One and quickly touched his cheek with her lips.

  "Oh, thank you--thank you!" he fervently cried. "I've changed, thistime, I know. I can feel it! I'm different. Shaggy--dear Shaggy--I ammyself again!"

  Files, who was near the opening, touched the spring that released the bigrock and it suddenly swung backward and let in a flood of daylight.

  Everyone stood motionless, staring hard at Shaggy's brother, who, nolonger masked by the polka-dot handkerchief, met their gaze with a gladsmile.

  "Well," said Shaggy Man, breaking the silence at last and drawing a long,deep breath of satisfaction, "you are no longer the Ugly One, my dearbrother; but, to be entirely frank with you, the face that belongs to youis no more handsome than it ought to be."

  "I think he's rather good looking," remarked Betsy, gazing at the mancritically.

  "In comparison with what he was," said King Kaliko, "he is reallybeautiful. You, who never beheld his ugliness, may not understand that;but it was my misfortune to look at the Ugly One many times, and I sayagain that, in comparison with what he was, the man is now beautiful."

  "All right," returned Betsy, briskly, "we'll take your word for it,Kaliko. And now let us get out of this tunnel and into the world again."