Highlander’s Forbidden Desire: Wanting her was forbidden, having her was his ruin...

by Kendrick, Kenna

  Once Charlotte was astride her horse, she turned back to Angus, gripping the reins tightly in her hands. Her beautiful golden-red hair had come loose and was now wrapped around her as the breeze blew over the shore. Despite the fact that leaves and sticks were knotted throughout her locks from the tussle, for a moment, Angus was frozen with the sight. He swallowed. No, this would not do. She was absolutely stunning, to be sure, but he had no business thinking about his sister-in-law’s cousin this way. He had to stop himself from imagining her reaching out for him, her pale skin glowing in the firelight of his room.

  He tried to shake off the image. She had just been through a terrible ordeal, and he was thinking about getting her into bed? What kind of man was he? Charlotte cleared her throat and said, “Angus, I would appreciate it if you did not mention the attack to Calum or to Julia. Now that it is passed, and the man is gone, there is no need to worry. They will wish to confine me to the castle walls or send me back to my father if they hear of it.”

  As do I. The voice in his head had come through strongly, knowing that he had to do something to protect her. No, he would have to tell them. He would need support on his side, for she would fight tooth and nail against him. Of that, he was completely certain.

  He didn’t say anything but merely stared up at her, concern etched on his face. “Lass, I dinnae think…”

  “Please,” she begged. “My father has allowed me to stay thus far, but if he hears of this...” She trailed off. In the few months that he had known this wild woman, he had never seen her so vulnerable or pleading. It was strange, but his mind was made up. He could either tell them and risk her anger or simply protect her even more. Even though he wouldn’t really have the time once Calum left.

  He nodded tersely, and Charlotte smiled. He then grabbed the reins from her and swung up behind her, to her surprise. He felt her back tighten, and he said, “I need tae accompany ye back tae the stable. I was nae with my horse when I heard yer cry.”

  Charlotte nodded but said nothing, her back remaining stiff as he wrapped his arms around her, taking the reins and kicking the horse into stride. They rode in silence towards the stables next to the castle, and Angus felt the wind on his face and the tickle of Charlotte’s free hair. It smelled like honeysuckle, and his stomach clenched with the sweetness and freshness of it and the longing it threatened to inspire. This was dangerous. They were too close. He could feel the shape of her on his chest, and it felt too good. He was glad to arrive at the stables and help her down, giving the reins to the stable boy.

  He helped her down, his hands on her waist once again, but this time, she faced him. As she stared into his face, her light green eyes changed from pleading to scrutinizing.

  What was she thinking? Angus asked himself; he found Charlotte Andrews’ inner world, both confusing and intriguing at the same time. He knew that many of the men on the Isle of Mull were cream in her hands, taken in by her alluring, mysterious stare.

  She pushed away from him gently. “Thank you again, Angus. But I will be able to take care of myself from here.” She looked away and started walking towards the castle. Angus followed her with his eyes before turning to the stable boy.

  “Lad, keep an eye out for the mistress. Whenever she comes tae take her horse out for a ride, ye will send me word. Try tae figure out her destination as well.”

  The stable boy nodded and then grinned. “Willnae be hard tae keep an eye on her, Sir. She’s a bonny one.” Angus threw the young boy a dark look, and the boy moved away into the shadows of the stone stables.

  Aye, she was bonny. Too bonny.

  * * *

  Charlotte returned to her room, and once she was safely inside, she felt like she could release her breath. She took herself to the chair by the hearth and sat in shock for a while, still breathing heavily. She found the decanter of red wine in her room that she had requested when she had first arrived and poured herself a hearty glass to calm her nerves. She drank the whole glass down in two swallows.

  She sat down again, feeling better from the effects of the alcohol. She had almost been raped. Never before had she envisioned such a thing happening. She knew it happened to low prostitutes in the streets, but she always imagined it occurring in alleyways, where one was never meant to be walking.

  This had nearly happened on an island that she had explored far and wide, a place where she had always felt safe. Charlotte liked to think that she was well-experienced with men. Many a time, she had moved onto balconies or walked in gardens in the moonlight with men during a society ball, earning a forbidden kiss. But now, she wasn’t so sure. If Angus hadn’t come when he had...she shuddered to think about what would have been the result.

  Angus MacLean. For once in the whole time that she’d known him, she was grateful for his constant presence. It was like he knew that she would be in trouble, and he’d hurried to her side. His face as he looked down at her, his hand outstretched, was burned in her memory. He was as handsome as ever, with his brown hair tied back at the nape of his neck and a light beard covering his strong jaw, but this time, he looked afraid for her. The concern was obvious as he called her name. He was kind to her and, for a moment, had lost that stony look of his, which was unusual. At the sight, Charlotte had felt a frisson of happiness that seemed totally separate from being happy to be rescued.

  And when she watched him threaten her attacker, she felt safe, watching the strength of his arm as he punched the man and pushed the blade near his throat. He towered over the cowering figure, and she was so unutterably grateful to be safe once more that she was afraid she’d rush up and kiss him once he came back to help her.

  No, she couldn’t do that. She was glad that she hadn’t acted on that impulse. She would have to control herself and the wild emotions that were suddenly raging through her at every moment. It was simply the fact that he had saved her from rape, and perhaps even death. That’s why she was all aflutter as she sat in her room. It had nothing to do with those eyes of his, which were so expressive and watchful even when he said nothing.

  No, it really couldn’t be that. She had no interest in Angus MacLean. He ignored any of the sort of female flirtations she had put into action when she’d first arrived, and so now, she really wanted nothing to do with him. When she first came, she thought it would be a little bit of entertainment to toy with him just as she’d toyed with other men. She would flutter her eyelashes and touch him on the arm with a laugh, but it elicited nothing. He would nearly recoil at her attentions, and her strange defeat put Charlotte at odds with him, and all the other occurrences built up against him as well.

  The only thing was to put it out of her mind and get ready for the mid-day meal with Julia and Calum. They would be leaving the next morning, and she needed to present a calm front. What should she think about besides what had happened? Or Angus MacLean? Or Julia leaving?

  She sighed. She could think about her patients, she supposed, and the fact that more and more were falling ill, or she could think about how her father would surely call her back soon, and she’d be stuck in the most boring place on earth: the barracks. She had nothing pleasant or positive to think of. Excellent.

  Well, there were Angus’ eyes, of course. No! They needed to leave her thoughts immediately. She wrestled with herself for a few more moments when a knock came at the door. “Come in!” Charlotte froze, hoping it wasn’t Julia. She wasn’t ready to see her yet.

  A maid entered, and curtsied. “Miss, lunch will be ready soon.”

  “Thank you,” Charlotte smiled and watched gratefully as the door closed. She needed to freshen up, and she was a little surprised at the state of her appearance once she sat in front of her vanity mirror. She knew her hair had fallen down, but it looked practically savage! She blushed at the thought of Angus seeing her like this, leaves and twigs twisted into it, all frizzy and unkempt.

  She had wanted Angus and all men, really, to see her as a perfect, well-kempt woman, who never had any ill-looking days. Now, she
had gone and messed that up entirely. But he had been a gentleman and hadn’t said anything about it. He was probably gleeful to see her in such a state. No, that was unfair. Charlotte freshened herself and adjusted her hair. She did not wish to call for the maid as she wanted to be alone, so she did what she could and braided a long braid down her shoulder. It would do for now.

  She met everyone down in the great hall for the mid-day meal. Julia smiled as she arrived. Charlotte caught eyes with Angus, but she was glad he didn’t say anything. Looking at Julia’s smile, he had kept to his promise.

  Julia said, “Charlotte, how was everyone today? Did you enjoy your island journey?”

  They began to eat as servants brought food to the table. Charlotte was overjoyed to watch her wine glass being filled, and she took a sip before speaking. She looked at Angus quickly. “It was lovely, but I’m afraid I cannot identify the illness that is plaguing many of the inhabitants. It doesn’t behave like other illnesses, and so it confounds me. I will visit them tomorrow to see how they fare after the instructions I gave them today.”

  Angus piped up. “Perhaps we should call for someone else tae come and take a look at them. A trained male doctor, who can keep himself safe as he travels around.”

  Julia looked confused, and Charlotte opened her eyes wide in Angus’ direction, warning him. He raised his eyebrows slightly but continued to look impassive. Charlotte shook her head. “No, I do not think that a MALE could do any better. I will simply have to return to the library this evening to see what I might find in your extensive collection.”

  Calum nodded. “Aye, I hope so, cousin, for we’d like ye tae stay on once we leave and help with the healing and tae save ye from what boredom lie across the water.”

  Julia smiled. “If you think your father would allow it. I know how much you’re enjoying it here.”

  Charlotte brightened, so happy that she had been formally requested to stay on, “Oh, I’m sure I could convince him for at least a little bit longer! I would love to stay - truly. I fear the barracks will be as dull as tombs.”

  Angus stiffened at the words. “Brother, I had nae notion that ye’d want the lass tae stay on. Surely the barracks would be a safer place for her.”

  Calum grinned in Angus’ direction and winked at his brother, unbeknownst to the ladies. Angus clenched his jaw. Charlotte waved a hand in the air and said with a little too much heat. “Always concerned for my welfare, once more. You would consign me to rot in the unexciting barracks, Mr. MacLean.”

  Angus replied, “Is that nae better than getting hurt somewhere?”

  Charlotte paused and turned to see Julia and Calum staring at them, looks of confusion and entertainment on their faces. She chuckled nervously. “All is well. You know me, Julia, I would simply die in a place like that, and I hope my father does not call for me any time soon. But, of course, I will have to let him know.”

  “Of course, Charlotte. I do hope ye’ll send him a letter today. I know we’re leaving tomorrow, but it would make me feel so much better if you’d stay. I hate to leave you so soon after we’ve been reunited, though.”

  Charlotte smiled. “I know. You’ve both been so good to me.” She made a point of turning her shoulder slightly to block Angus out of her kind words. “I thank you for all your hospitality. You’ve certainly saved me from a life of drudgery while my father continues to reside in Scotland, and therefore, so must I.”

  Calum then said, mirth in his voice, “Well, perhaps when we’re gone, ye’ll be able tae find something tae entertain yerself.” He glanced at his brother and said, “Angus would be happy tae assist, I’m sure.”

  Charlotte blushed, and Angus glared at Calum, clenching his fists underneath the table. “The lass knows her own mind well enough and will surely find her own amusement without my help.”

  Charlotte filled with gratitude at Angus’ defense, but she couldn’t help but feel the slightest of tug of interest at the thought of what Angus MacLean might do to...entertain.

  Chapter Three

  After what seemed like an interminable meal of embarrassment, Charlotte took herself to the library to continue her research. She knew that it was Julia’s last night for many weeks, but Julia would understand that the mysterious illness was very pressing and needed her immediate attention. Besides, Julia would be busy packing all evening, but they’d promised they’d see each other at dinner.

  Besides, she needed a place to finally exhale to calm her nerves after the slightly embarrassing discussion of entertainment. Charlotte Andrews was no stranger to flirting, but this time, the insinuation was clear, and it gave her a little thrill. She was annoyed that it stuck in her mind, but it was partially true.

  She did need something to entertain her while she lived her life out here in the wilds. At least here, she had freedom over her time, whereas in the barracks or back in London, she might have some freedom, but there would be other restrictions and activities she would be duty-bound to participate in.

  She sighed and then took a deep breath of the lovely smell of leather and paper as she entered the library. Books were like holy artifacts, and both she and Julia were completely in awe of their power. They had both been blessed with a good education, and now, for Charlotte, it felt like she could never learn enough. She had depended so on her intellectual powers all these years, and now, with this illness confounding her, she felt weak and unprepared. It was similar to the way that Angus made her feel when he stared at her for too long.

  Men and books are nothing alike. Why am I comparing them? She thought with frustration.

  She began to scan the shelves, searching for The Anatomy of Humane Bodies by William Cowper. It was a book she had used in her own library at home after she had been taught some of her medical knowledge by a distant cousin. After Charlotte’s mother died, this cousin had taken pity on her grief and taught her all that he had known, as a doctor himself. But, then, he too, had died a few years later, and Charlotte continued to learn, grasping for any medical resources that she could find, leaving her father unaware of her new endeavor.

  She finally found it and squealed with delight. She pulled it down from the shelf and moved to a desk in the far corner to open the tome and scan its pages. She was busy moving her fingers expertly across its yellowed pages, and her heart was thrumming with excitement. She knew the book so well, it felt a little like being home again. She knew each of the different diagrams. She remembered when she had first picked it up and was amazed at its weight as well as the drawings of body parts and functions. She was so lost that she did not hear footsteps behind her until a throat cleared.

  She gasped but then turned to see Calum next to her, his arms behind his back. She clutched a hand to her chest. “Calum! You mustn’t scare anyone like that! I could have had a heart attack right here in your library just before you left on your trip!”

  He chuckled. “Sorry, lass, I just wanted tae come and tell ye something.” He paused, and Charlotte turned, looking into his kind face.

  “Is everything well?” she asked, wondering why her friend’s husband was looking concerned in front of her.

  “Aye, all is well. I’m glad that we’ve asked ye tae stay on, if ye can, until our return. It is very important tae me that ye try and keep an eye on the clan, of course. The Campbell men might try tae come and see how we are faring while we’re away. If they see that many of the villagers are ill, it could bode ill against us. The Campbells may think that they’re dying of starvation and we arenae living up tae our deal.”

  Charlotte nodded, attempting to appear casual. The mention of the Campbell name made a cold shiver start at the back of her neck and work its way down. Would it be like this for a long time? Remembering the man’s face who had almost taken her virginity without permission? The smell of him, the sweat upon his face as he pulled up his kilt, and the look of his tool, staring at her coldly, ready to plunge into her.

  “Charlotte? Are ye all right, lass? Ye look pale.” Charlotte’s attention
was taken back to the present when Calum called her name.

  “Oh, yes, sorry, I was just thinking about the patients, of course.” She smiled, hoping he wouldn’t tell Julia anything that he noticed amiss. “I understand your concern about the people. I do hope I can sort it out quickly. I shall do my utmost.”

  “Well, the other reason I wanted tae talk tae ye is tae say that I hope ye can stay tae help Angus too. Julia has a lot of duties with the clan, and since ye know them, I thought perhaps ye could take them on? Angus is very nervous about doing a proper job while I’m away. He is a better man than me, in more ways than one, but he doesnae believe it, and it will keep him awake at night, fretting about the clan. Help him, will ye nae?”