Back to the Start (Dangerous Love Book 4)

by Elle Keating

  But she wasn’t that vulnerable girl anymore, the girl Owen had found in that coffee shop, the girl she had been just minutes before finding him in bed with Chloe. Morgan felt the metamorphosis take place and she happily shed the armor that had protected her, that had made her numb for far too long.

  “Yes, just like that.” Morgan stood tall as that last bit of armor flaked away and she allowed her soon-to-be ex-husband see her for the very first time.

  Chapter Twenty

  Jake

  Love. Pain. Desire. Anger.

  Jake felt every one of those emotions at once as he stared at the sleeping woman in his bed. Morgan wrapped herself up in his sheets and hugged his pillow. The sight of her long hair cascading down her naked back caused his cock to twitch beneath his jeans. She had to be exhausted and most likely sore from the four times he had taken her last night, but…

  Jake adjusted himself and found his cock standing at attention. He pushed the anger and pain from his thoughts… for now… and allowed the love and desire for her to drive him. His heart was beating erratically as he drank her in, as his eyes traced her soft curves and the hint of a nipple. He no longer had to imagine how her nipples felt against his tongue, how her breasts would taste as he sucked her taut peaks. All he had to do was lean over, brush the thin cotton sheet aside and he would once again find himself at heaven’s gate.

  Her eyelashes fluttered and then shot open. She didn’t speak. She simply swung her legs over the side of the bed and stared up at him. Her lips parted, enabling him to see a sliver of her sweet, pink tongue. He inhaled sharply at the sight. He was seconds away from ripping off his clothes and pouncing on her when he felt her nimble fingers undo the top button of his jeans. She kept her eyes on his as she found his zipper and pulled his boxer briefs and pants down to his knees. His cock sprang forward and fell heavily into her palms. The crown glistened with pre-cum and he felt his breath leave him. With the pad of her thumb she swirled his essence around, covering the head completely. The sensation went straight to his balls.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed with her feet firmly on the floor, she was eye level with his cock. Her tongue slipped past her teeth and he saw her eyes glaze over. She broke eye contact and watched his length slide between her fingers. She squeezed the base and stroked him from root to tip. Then in one quick motion she fed him into her mouth and sucked him deep.

  “Fuck...Morgan!” He clamped his eyes shut and thrust into her. She licked and sucked and stroked and… moaned. He fisted her hair and in return she grabbed his ass and forced his cock farther down her throat. He was breathing so fucking fast. He felt her nails dig into his flesh and she increased her relentless pace. There was no stopping her. She wanted this. She wanted to see him lose it, to come undone. “Take it all,” he said, driving into her.

  Suddenly she released him. He thought she had stopped to come up for air but he was wrong. “Mine,” she said, grasping his cock between her fingers. There was nothing playful in her gaze. She wasn’t teasing him by leaving him on the edge. She was marking her territory, claiming him, telling him in one word where they stood.

  “Yours,” he said.

  She closed her eyes and wrapped her lips around his cock. She didn’t waste any time. She took him hard, and he felt the first wave hit him and then another. He pumped his hips and spilled every drop down her glorious throat. He stared down at her in awe as she swallowed and licked her lips.

  Where the fuck did she learn to do that?

  It didn’t matter. Her past didn’t matter, at least not right now. She was panting from sucking him off, but he also could tell by the want in her eyes that she craved her own release. Jake stepped out of his jeans and boxer briefs. As if she knew what was coming, she slid back until she was in the center of his bed. He untangled her from his sheets and climbed on top of her. Positioned beneath him, encased by his legs and arms, she was trapped and ready to be taken. She squirmed and propelled her hips upward, but he retreated and kept his cock away, withholding the friction her needy pussy desired. “Please,” she begged.

  Her eyes were ravenous, and she made no attempt to hide from him. She reached up and encircled his neck, but he broke free and pinned her wrists at her sides. Her back bowed and she writhed against the mattress. He could feel her discomfort, sense that ache between her legs. “Please what?”

  “Taste me,” she said. Her tone wasn’t demanding or arrogant, but desperate and raw. Although he had just come a few minutes ago, her plea instantly turned his cock to stone. He hovered over her, taking in her lush breasts and puckered nipples. He stared at her toned stomach and watched her belly rise and fall with each strained breath she took. He could torture her and trail kisses from her breasts to her already drenched curls but she deserved to come right here, right now. With her wrists still secured at her sides he drifted lower, nipping at her flushed skin along the way, and spread her legs with his knees. He had barely touched her, yet her pink folds were slick with her juices. He rimmed her slit with the tip of his tongue and she cried out. She tried to break free, but her resistance only made him more crazed and he tightened his grip around her wrists. “Jake, I—I—need… ”

  He sealed his mouth over her clit and he felt her muscles clench around him. She bucked into him, grinding herself against his face. He licked her. Sucked her. Drank her until he was convinced her taste would never leave him. Her legs latched around his ears and he fucked her with his tongue. In and out. He drove into her, giving her what she wanted. He could get drunk on her, intoxicated by not only her scent but her moans and whimpers.

  “What do you need, Morgan?”

  “More. Harder. Faster.” She could barely get out the last word. She was breathless and so close. He let go of her wrists and pushed a finger into her pussy. She was so fucking wet. Wet for him. “Ah!” Her eyes rolled back and her body thrashed from side to side. With her hands now free, she was able to fist his hair and demand more. He inserted a second finger as he continued to tongue her.

  “I need you… inside me! Please. I’m begging you!”

  Her need to be claimed awakened something in him. Something primal. He positioned himself at her entrance and kissed her for the first time since last night. His tongue slipped past her lips and she sucked him deep. She swallowed his groan and he felt the animal inside take over. They locked eyes and he slid into her with one purposeful thrust. Her eyes widened as he filled her completely and she let out a sound that had his balls screaming. When he was confident that he wasn’t hurting her, he placed one hand beneath her hip, lifted her up to the angle he wanted and rammed into her.

  She wanted more. She wanted harder. She wanted faster. And fuck if he wasn’t going to give it to her.

  “You feel… so good,” she groaned, spreading her legs wider.

  Fuck me.

  He rode her hard but she matched him at every turn. He couldn’t take it anymore. And like an answer to his prayers, she unraveled beneath him and came so violently that her climax triggered his own and he exploded, spurting inside her for what felt like an eternity. He collapsed on top of her and she pulled him close. With his head on her chest, he listened to her heart return to a normal rhythm. She trailed her fingertips along his back and kissed him on the top of his head.

  This is what he could have been waking up to all these years? He hated that his mind went there. That he would regress, even after what they had just done, and think about what had gone wrong and why she had left him in the first place. He pushed that thought aside and let himself fall under her spell. “And you… you feel like home.”

  ***

  Morgan

  “I think you deserve breakfast in bed.”

  Morgan rolled over on her side just in time to witness Jake zipping up his fly. His jeans hugged his ass so beautifully that it was impossible not to stare at him. “I must have earned my keep,” she said, still gawking, still appreciating the view.

  Shirtless and sockless he padded across the room. He b
ent over, causing the bed to dip beneath the weight of his mouth-watering arms. He was just inches from her lips, close enough for her to smell herself on him. Her mind played in reverse and he was again between her thighs, lapping her, flicking his skilled tongue across her clit.

  “You earned much more than that.” He leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was gentle, lacking the urgency from earlier when he’d had her begging and screaming, and was painfully intimate. The pain, that anger, that hung over him like some ominous cloud still persisted. She could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. But it was dissipating ever so slowly. Hopefully one day it would disappear completely. She wanted to latch on to that hope, to not think about the shit storm she would cause, the hurt he would experience if he found out the real reason she had left him. Morgan didn’t want to think about that. Jake was hers… finally. And she didn’t want to spoil her time with him. So she smiled and played it off.

  “Mind if I use your shower? I have to be at work...” she said, reaching for his cell phone on the nightstand and checking the time, “in a little over an hour.”

  Jake bent over and swiped his t-shirt off the floor. “Not at all. I’ll make our breakfast sandwiches to go and drive you home when you’re ready.” Morgan watched his delicious abs fade from view as he pulled his shirt over his head.

  “Let me guess, scrapple, egg and cheese on a bagel?”

  His smile confirmed that she was correct. She had consumed many scrapple, egg and cheese sandwiches while growing up in the McGinnis household. It was cheap and filling and could feed every growing McGinnis child for breakfast without breaking the bank.

  “Some things never change,” she said. The words were out before she caught the double meaning. Although she had been in love with Jake all her life, he had changed during their years apart. Growing up, he had been guarded around her, never giving in when she threw herself at him… because he had thought she was too young. Now he was guarded for another reason entirely.

  He’s afraid you’re going to leave him again.

  Morgan couldn’t bear to think of the pain she had caused him when she’d told him goodbye. The way he had looked at her, as if she had just reached into his chest and torn his heart out and stripped away his soul. He had gutted her that night.

  In every way possible.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Morgan

  Morgan didn’t know that she had been smiling to herself until Allison called her out on it.

  “Someone had a good night,” Allison said from across the counter. Morgan was attempting to read up on her first client of the morning for the third time, her eyes fixed on a clipboard, when Allison interrupted her. She was having difficulty concentrating on work and it seemed that it hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  Morgan felt her cheeks grow hot as she replayed the last twelve hours in her head. Good night? There was no adjective in the English dictionary that could capture what kind of night she’d had. Nothing that would do it justice, anyway. She had never come so hard in her life. And the way she’d begged? Her cheeks weren’t the only body parts on fire now. She clenched her thighs together to ward off the untimely throbbing between her legs.

  Jake wasn’t the boy she remembered, the boy she had given her virginity to and made love to under the stars. He hadn’t been clumsy then or lacking skill. He had known just how to touch her, how to make her body rise and fall as he slid in and out of her that first time. But last night was different. Last night he took, he punished, he claimed. Without words he told her what she had been missing all these years, what she had thrown away. She had seen it in his eyes, felt it with each thrust of his powerful hips. He may be able to sleep with her, kiss her softly, and make her breakfast, but he had not forgiven her for what she had done to him. Not completely. She believed him when he told her that he was hers. He would never cheat on her and hurt her in that way, especially since he knew what her dad had done to her mom. Physically he would be faithful and devoted to her. But emotionally he wasn’t entirely with her. Even as he had sunk into her his guard had been up, protecting him, shielding him.

  And she hated herself for making him feel that way, for imprinting those doubts on his heart.

  “Let me guess. Did someone have a sleepover last night?” Allison asked playfully.

  Morgan looked up and locked eyes with her friend. There was no point in lying to her. Allison knew how Morgan felt about Jake. She had been there, held her hand, allowed her to ugly cry on her shoulder not just the night she had miscarried but many nights after. Allison had witnessed Morgan’s quick descent. How she had gone from crazy in love the first two months of college to a broken, defeated girl who didn’t want to exist within her own skin anymore. She had lost her fight, the fire that had helped her throughout her childhood and had made her strong. Owen hadn’t married the girl who had taken out Robbie Gordon’s legs on that dodgeball court or that relentless twelve-year-old who demanded to be kissed by her fourteen-year-old next-door neighbor. No, he had married a woman who had shed the life she knew, a woman who didn’t issue challenges or take risks, one who played on the safe side where she couldn’t get hurt. All traits Owen had looked for in a wife.

  A small part of Morgan felt bad that she had deceived Owen in a way. He had proposed to her thinking she had met his criteria. And she had for a while, all the way up until she had walked in on him fucking another woman. Just like that, the girl she once knew had come alive, as if she had been shaken from her eight-year sleep and told to wake the fuck up. After the initial shock of seeing Chloe ride her husband had worn off, she was able to focus on what other emotions were at play. Anger, hurt… betrayal… relief. That’s when it had hit her. Owen hadn’t been the only cheater in their marriage. She may not have physically slept around on Owen, but emotionally she had betrayed him. Her heart could and would only ever belong to one man.

  According to Morgan, she and Owen were even.

  “We slept a little.”

  Allison slapped her own clipboard on the counter. “Does this mean you two are back together?”

  Back together.

  The thought of belonging to Jake once again sent shivers down her spine for both good and bad reasons. There was nothing in the world she wanted more than to be with Jake. It was what she had dreamt of long before she had grown boobs. But it also meant that she could no longer hide the truth. At some point she would have to tell him everything.

  “I think so.”

  Allison did some type of giddy hippity-hop and ran over and hugged her. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve this, Morgan… so much.” Allison sniffled through the last two words and the embrace went from girly excitement to bittersweet. Her friend stepped out of their embrace but held onto her hands. “I know why you didn’t tell Jake about the baby, why you made the decisions you did. But you’ve been carrying around this secret, this guilt, for too long. It nearly destroyed you. Believe me, I remember. You have to tell him, Morgan.”

  Morgan didn’t want to cry. Not here. Not at work. Not before she was scheduled to neuter a Rottweiler. But Allison had touched on a nerve and it was both painful and sobering. “I know. I will. I’ll tell him. I just don’t know how.” That was the truth. She wasn’t bullshitting Allison or herself. She truly had no idea how to tell him or how he would react. Would he be hurt, heartbroken, so fucking angry that she hadn’t been honest with him? So much so that he didn’t want to be with her now?

  Her cell phone buzzed in her back pocket and she welcomed the distraction, as it allowed her tears to recede back where they belonged.

  “I think you should trust him. Trust that boy you fell in love with all those years ago.” Allison gave her a quick squeeze. “I’m here for you… always.”

  “I know and I love you for it.”

  Allison smiled and then headed down the hall to her first patient of the day.

  Morgan withdrew her phone from her pocket and read the text that had chimed through just before Allison had left:

&nbs
p; “Make it to work okay?”

  Jake’s simple text was sweet and safe and she happily responded:

  “Yes. Just about to neuter a Rot.”

  Morgan was about to slip her phone into her back pocket when her phone chimed:

  “Are you trying to get me hard, Morgan? Because if you are, we need to work on your sexting skills.”

  Morgan scowled at her phone. Jake could be a real smartass when he wanted to be. But so could she:

  “If I wanted to make you hard, as hard as you were when you slid in and out of my mouth this morning, I would have taken a different approach.”

  His text rang through immediately:

  “You have my undivided attention.”

  So he wanted to play:

  “Remember the night you walked in on me as I was getting out of the shower? I do. I remember it clearly. I remember you standing there looking at me as if you wanted to devour me. That was what I wanted. I wanted you to rip that towel away from my body, shove me up against the shower wall and fuck me. But you didn’t. Do you know what you forced me to do later that night? I went home, locked myself in my bedroom, turned up the music and made myself come. I rode my fingers, I pinched my nipples, all the while thinking of you.”

  Morgan didn’t typically write long texts, but she made an exception and joyfully pushed Send. Morgan didn’t bother to put her phone away. There was no way he wasn’t going to respond to that. A few seconds later his text came in:

  “Christ, Morgan! I’m in a locker room full of sweaty guys and my cock is fucking hard as stone. Not good.”

  Morgan chuckled at the image Jake had drummed up and responded:

  “Still think my sexting skills need work?”

  Morgan thought that she had gotten the last word but as she read his response, she no longer felt like the victor in their latest round: