by J. K Harper
Which was why a strangled gasp trapped in her lungs escaped when Jace abruptly slid himself across the couch until their thighs touched. She breathed in his wild scent. Her thoughts scrambled as everything inside merged between woman and wolf until she wasn't quite sure which one she was. Her wolf was so close to the surface she was almost guiding Caitlin's movements.
And Caitlin didn't mind in the least.
"I told you about a week ago," Jace said, his gorgeous, suddenly serious face inches from hers, with no other parts of their body touching except their thighs, "that I wouldn't kiss you because I'm a gentleman. Caitlin, the way you're looking at me right now, you definitely don't want me to be a gentleman. Do you?"
Caitlin swallowed against the dryness in her throat. She was so turned on she was afraid she would either faint or explode. Instead, she managed to say in a surprisingly steady voice, "No. No, I most certainly do not want you to be a gentleman right now."
"Thank god," he muttered, before finally closing the gap between them. He wrapped those strong arms around her, pulling her upper body to him. They reached for one another, their lips meeting in a sudden, frenzied rush.
Caitlin had known it was going to be good the first time Jace kissed her. She just hadn't realized exactly how good. As her wolf ecstatically flipped and rolled in her mind, she felt exquisite waves of icy hot and sizzling cold racing all around her body in confusing, thrilling sensations as Jace claimed her lips with his. One of his big hands gently threaded through her hair to cup the back of her head, while the other pressed against her back as he crushed her chest into his. Her nipples felt almost painful as they reacted to being so close to his body, only separated from his naked skin by a few centimeters of fabric.
"Caitlin," he murmured against her lips, creating a delicious buzz. "Caitlin, you taste so good. It's been killing me to not do this." He groaned as he feasted on her lips, nibbling, tasting, gently darting his tongue in between them to play with hers.
Caitlin moaned back against him, feeling all reason depart her as she dropped her guards and allowed her wolf to guide her movements.
The sheer thrill of being touched by him, her mate, allowed a feral joy to crowd her thoughts away from the surface. She sensed Jace's wolf was very present as well, also urging him along. Moving beyond the edge of thought, she allowed herself to lose control.
It felt so good. Why hadn't she done this sooner?
The hand on her back slowly began moving lower, rubbing gentle circles that somehow she could feel right between her legs in delicious little spasms. She pressed herself even harder against him. He chuckled against her mouth but didn't release it. His fingers gently quested down to the top of her jeans, slipping down into the back of them.
Caitlin sucked in a breath as more sensations rocked her. He tasted so incredibly strong and blissfully exciting. She was positive she never before in her life had been kissed like this.
And she never wanted anyone else to ever kiss her again.
Mate, the word whispered strongly throughout her mind. My mate. She knew it was her. Not just her wolf. All of her.
Jace shifted on the couch so he could pull her little closer to him. His breathing was growing erratic, just as hers was. Yes. Oh, please, yes.
A little voice pinged through the room. "Mama?"
They sprang apart as if someone had dumped frigid water over them. Caitlin whipped her head around to the hallway. Briana stood there, eyes sleepy and hair tousled, dressed in her little fluffy purple pajamas decorated with tiny yellow and blue wolves all over. She carried her favorite stuffed toy, an overly cheerful brown teddy bear she had for some reason named Pinky.
Rising to her feet, trying to control the steadiness of her voice as well as her balance, Caitlin said as calmly as she could, "Yes, sweetheart? What's wrong?" Her voice croaked a bit.
Briana glanced at Jace, seeming utterly unconcerned about anything she might have just seen. Looking back at her mother, she said, "Liam had a nightmare, mama. He wants you."
Caitlin immediately said, "Of course, sweetheart. I'll come with you back to your room."
She looked at Jace, feeling how big and puffy her lips must be. How well kissed. Her entire body still throbbed.
Keeping her voice low, she sighed. Then she simply said, "My life. This is the reality. You don't really want this, do you?”
He looked at her, still breathing a little heavily. “Don't say that,” he said quietly.
Caitlin shook her head, trying to slow her breathing. “I—that felt good, Jace. But I have to go now. I'm sorry. This is how it is. Good night."
He nodded at her even as he flicked a little wave at Briana, who waved back at him.
"I know," he said. His eyes were nearly midnight black from his desire. His breathing was still ragged as well. "I know. Good night, Caitlin. Good night, Briana," he called to her.
As Caitlin went over to her daughter to take her hand and walk back to the room, she felt Jace's gaze on her back the entire way. She was pretty damn sure he was doing his best to burn her panties right off her body.
Well, damn it. Damn it, damn it, and damn it. Now she was more confused than ever.
8
Jace prowled down the sidewalk like a shadow, slipping between people as they walked and talked and laughed and window shopped. He practiced thinking of himself as smoke and light, just as his mentor had taught him, and it really did help him maneuver through the happy shoppers like he was water. Unnoticed, and unbothered.
He wasn't one for drawing attention to himself. Not anymore, that is. Once upon a time, being the center of attention had been his only goal. He thought back to the young, lost, disillusioned pup he had been and winced in both embarrassment and sympathy for his younger self. He'd badly needed to prove something back then, and he bothered everyone and everything in his path in order to do so. It had taken the last thirteen years—a long, hard, very thoughtful thirteen years—but he finally had learned something.
At least, he hoped so.
The mentor he'd been supremely lucky enough to find, a lone wolf shifter living in South America, had shaped Jace's past as an emotionally stunted fool into an adult who finally had his head on mostly straight. Brilliantly skilled at mindful martial arts, his mentor had always taught Jace that some of the most important things he could learn were awareness, meditation, centeredness. Patience. The ability to redirect his consciousness away from the simple, surface-only impressions most people saw and to look instead into deeper truths had served him exceedingly well as a springboard for his own introspection.
Yeah, it made him sound oovy-groovy. That didn't matter. What mattered was how it had changed his life for the better. The change was something he refused to mess with.
Mate, his wolf murmured in his mind, sending pictures of Caitlin. They had a longing feel to them. Mate means change. Change means mate. Same thing.
Jace sighed and kept walking.
Catching sight of the hardware store ahead, he beelined for it with focus while still imagining himself as unnoticed smoke drifting through the crowd. They seemed to part for him. He neither ran into anyone nor did anyone get his way or trip over him. It was a handy trick, that one. He'd have to teach it to the Guardians.
Alpha, of course, had somehow known all about Jace's newfound skills even before he made his way back to the Black Mesa Pack. "I understand you've picked up some interesting tricks during your time away from us, Jace," the older wolf had said the first night Jace came back to the den, just under two weeks ago. He regarded Jace with those seemingly all-knowing eyes.
Jace knew shifters couldn't read minds—well, he was pretty sure they couldn't—but if any shifter could, it would be Channing Bardou. The canny old wolf was probably over 300 years old, and what he had seen and experienced outstripped anything Jace ever had. He'd met one or two old wolves during his travels, including his mentor, and they had taught him the hard way that he'd lacked the appropriate appreciation and respect for his alpha
during his younger years. In due time, he become deeply chagrined at the enormous opportunity to learn and grow he had carelessly thrown away and almost lost forever.
He knew second chances existed. And third chances, fourth chances, fifth chances. Jace had had that many in his lifetime so far. He damn sure wasn't going to squander another one. The minute he'd stepped foot back in the den, he'd known that although his alpha was giving him another chance, it was also definitely his last chance.
He had to prove that being a valued and loyal member of this pack was what he truly wanted, or else he would definitely be cast out again. The next time, it would be for good.
He had to be on top of his game, super sharp, totally undistracted. Even undistracted by sexy, fascinating, outrageously alluring she-wolves like Caitlin. Okay, fine. Just one she-wolf. Caitlin. Since he first laid eyes on her two weeks ago, he literally had not noticed another female shifter. Not in a sexual way, that is. Jace never considered himself a ladies man, but wolf shifters by nature were naturally very sexual creatures. It was an utterly honest, healthy, and thoroughly accepted part of the pack life. With either other shifters or humans, sex was just something wolf shifters did.
But all he'd thought about for the past few weeks was a silky fall of dark hair, stunning clear green eyes, alabaster skin that just begged to be stroked, and the husky, enticing voice that made his blood sing every time he heard it in the hallways of the den. And that kiss several nights back.
Against his wolf's ardent wishes, Jace had again made himself as scarce as possible in the den during the past few days. He'd spent time with the pups still, yes. It seemed he just couldn't resist or refuse them and their big, adoring eyes. But he'd gone on long solo runs as his wolf, ruthlessly hunting the deer and rabbits on the den property or in the sprawl of the San Juan Mountains further to the north. For countless hours he'd worked out in the gym, pacing himself against younger wolves and the other Guardians.
And none of it helped. That kiss had only thoroughly assured him of one thing. Caitlin Rendall was his mate, no matter what he preferred to think about the matter. His mate. And his pups. His wolf whined in supercharged excitement as that word and Caitlin's image flashed across his mind again. Tying to get out, he prickled beneath Jace's skin, making the most primal parts of himself sizzle and zip with electric impatience. But he held fast to his control, knowing that if he let it get unchecked his wolf would start to glow out of his eyes. Sunglasses would cover that, but not when he went in the store and took them off.
A sudden scent flung on the spring breeze to his nose drew Jace up short in the middle of the sidewalk. Concentration blown, someone almost walked into him, veering at the last second with a frown.
Jace barely noticed. All he could think of was Caitlin. She was here, in town. Her delicious scent, a mix of bright ginger and rich chocolate, sweet oranges and cream, flooded his senses and nearly made him sway where he stood. The chattering throngs of people surrounding him faded into nothing as his wolf pinpointed on the one person he wanted. Scanning, he slowly turned his gaze over the sidewalks to spot her.
There. Just a few blocks up, peering into the window of one of the many stores that lined the walking downtown section. The twins plastered their little noses up to the window as well, hands cupped around their eyes to shield the sun's glare.
The candy store, of course. Jace smiled even as his wolf managed to wrest away enough control to force his feet to move in that direction. Rather than fight it, which he sensed would only make his wolf get even closer to guiding all his movements, Jace allowed himself to head straight for the beautiful raven-haired woman and her two ridiculously cute children that he was falling in love with more and more every day.
Protect. His wolf focused with laser precision on the small family he seemed to want nothing more in the world to do than to be near. Must protect pups.
Just then, Caitlin turned as if she heard something. Even with heightened shifter hearing, that wouldn't be easy on this loud, crowded sidewalk. But her head turned unerringly in his direction. He could feel the exact moment when their eyes locked, even through the sunglasses they each wore. The shock shivered through him, racing up and down his body as if their eye contact alone set him off like a live wire.
As if he was seeing his mate. The one he desperately wanted to kiss again, despite her warning that her life was not her own. That the twins would always come first, mate or no.
Mate, his wolf growled, daring anyone around to challenge him on that fact. Jace heard it rumbling through his chest. pups. Mine.
The slightest flush rose up Caitlin's neck and onto her face. Jace was close enough now to see her eyes, which were fixed on him as if nothing else existed. Her lips parted at his approach. He experienced such a sudden rush of blood to his groin that he swallowed hard in an effort to temper his body's response to her mere presence. Even so, his wolf made a half-growling sound of possessive approval.
Within three more strides, and luckily no more near collisions with any passersby now that his mojo was shot, he reached Caitlin's side. Shoving his sunglasses up on his head, he smiled in greeting. He couldn't tell from her expression whether or not she was pleased to see him, but before he could say anything, the pups realized he was there. Quickly, they flung themselves away from the window of sweet temptations.
"Jace! Jace!" Their small, excited voices babbled around him in a heart-melting chorus. Fine. He admitted it. His heart was a goner around the pups.
And around the sexy she-wolf who was his mate? Swallowing, he kept things light.
"What's going on here? Something inside that store I should know about?" Jace grinned at the kids, sliding a wink at Caitlin as Briana and Liam looked back in the store window and excitedly told him that their mother had said they could have some candy and ice cream this afternoon. "Is that so?” Jace tried to get in a word edgewise over their babble. “Well, you two must've been very good today. Haven't bitten anyone else on the ankles out here, now have you?"
Liam broke off mid-sentence, a look of such consternation coming over his face that Jace couldn't keep his act together and burst out laughing instead.
"I haven't bitten anyone else, Jace," Liam told him so earnestly that Jace could only keep laughing. "I told you I wouldn't, ever again. And there are very different rules in public," Liam finished, glancing at his mother for approval.
Caitlin shook her head, a look of maternal love and tolerance somehow making her even more beautiful. Jace slowly stopped laughing to simply stare at her. His wolf pushed against his mind again, just as fascinated by the she-wolf he wanted so desperately to greet in his own way. She took off her own sunglasses, smiling at him. The beautiful green of her eyes about felled him.
Kiss mate again, he urged. Jace tried hard to not that thought show on his face.
"That's exactly right, Liam," Caitlin said approvingly, gently chucking her son under his chin. "So. What brings you to town?" She directed this at Jace. Her smile slipped over her face. The memory of their kiss must be teasing her, too. She was flushed.
Jace shrugged, achingly aware of her proximity. Her scent overloaded his senses. He recognized that he'd already let his training pretty much scatter to the four winds just by being around her.
It was absolutely ridiculous to contemplate, but it seemed like Caitlin made him lose his head.
"Mama," Briana said, tugging at her mother's shirt.
Jace couldn't help himself. His eyes snapped right to the way the shirt snugged over Caitlin's breasts as her daughter pulled downward on it to get her mother's attention. He managed to flick his eyes right back up to Caitlin's, but she had caught him. One corner of her succulent lips pulled up just a bit. Just enough to let him know that yes, she'd caught him staring at her breasts like any horny teenage boy. And yes, she didn't seem to mind. At all.
"Mama, can we still get candy?" Briana's face was the picture of sheer innocence as she stared up at her mother, a winning smile making her positively angelic.
Liam got into the act as well, widening his eyes a bit.
"Yes, loves," Caitlin said tolerantly.
Briana and Liam turned back to the window, peering in once again as they exclaimed to one another over which treats inside they would choose as soon as they went in. Jace let their voices fade into the background as Caitlin looked at him again.
"You've been avoiding me the past few days," she said, her husky voice soft even though her words were blunt. “Again.”
Jace's appreciation of this stunning woman yet again went up another notch. She didn't play games. In his head, his wolf slapped him with his tail in exasperation. Ignoring it, Jace met her challenge head-on. "You're right," he admitted. He enjoyed the way his calm acceptance of what she had said made her blink. The slight smile tugging at her lips grew into a full, genuine one. Jace stood there like a dummy, completely mesmerized by her beauty, her strength, her directness, her fierce yet tender love for her children, and, damn it all, just her mere presence.
Jace was aware of her standing just feet away from him, her knees and beautiful calves accentuated by the pretty yet sensibly flat, wide heels she wore and the flirty skirt that wrapped around her hips in a manner that made him positively jealous.
"Well." Her husky voice was softer, deeper. "I thought after the other night you might disappear again for a while."
Jace held her gaze. “It wasn't because of them—"
"No, it's okay," she said. "I don't blame you. Even though that was an amazing kiss.” Her breathing sped up just a bit.
“Yes,” he said softly, pulse suddenly jackhammering. “It was.”
She was shaking her head, though. “No, Jace. Not only were you not expecting what I am," and the word mate did not need to be spoken out loud, "but you also didn't expect me to come with the two little pieces of baggage that I have." Her voice sounded somewhat rueful. “Even something like that kiss can't make up for that. You said you don't want what I already have.” Her voice lowered to being nearly soundless. “A family. Even though you love them, it's too much to ask.”
