To Crave Darkly: Trials Of A Morta: Book One

by Bailey Grayson

  I’d read every page of those damn books and nothing made sense. They seemed to be the writings of a lunatic. “No. Nothing useful. They just seem to be the ramblings of a mind fractured by insanity. I can’t make head nor tails of what she was trying to tell us.”

  “Has Orion reached out to you recently?”

  “Nope.” Orion had been as silent as the grave, and that hurt more than I thought it would. I thought we were in this together, and he’d left me to figure this out all by myself. I had never felt more alone than I did right now. When Jasper wasn’t training me, he was ignoring me, and Orion was giving me the cold shoulder. “I haven’t heard from Levi for days either. Not since he took my blood.”

  Fenris smiled at me as he got to his feet. “Well, that I can do something about. Come on. Let’s go and see him.”

  “You mean it?” I asked elatedly. I hadn’t been out of the house for days and cabin fever was definitely starting to settle in.

  “Yes. Knowing Levi he’s probably got lost in his research and forgotten what day it is. He tends to forget that the world does actually keep turning.”

  I jumped to my feet in excitement, barely restraining myself from doing a little happy dance. This was just what I needed. “Can we go now?”

  “Sure,” Fenris lowered his head and whispered conspiratorially. “We can even stop for coffee.”

  I squealed. I couldn’t help it. “Best day ever.” Fenris laughed as I grabbed his hand and dragged him with me out of the house. I wasn’t allowed out the house without an escort. That was de Santis’ doing, but Jasper had also commanded his team to keep me on the base. I guess that meant Fenris was slightly disobeying orders by taking me out and I couldn’t be more grateful, but I also didn’t want to get him into trouble.

  “Are you sure this is ok? Will you get into trouble?” I asked as we headed towards the town.

  He flashed me a lopsided grin. “Probably, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. Besides, we need an update from Levi and this is important.” His light-hearted expression turned serious. “Jasper should have taken you days ago.” He paused, clearly disappearing into his own thoughts. Perhaps he had noticed that Jasper was deliberately staying away from me, but that was a conversation that I didn’t want to get into right now. I was not ruining my day.

  “Come on, let’s go and find Levi then you can take me for coffee. You’re going to have to pay though. I don’t have any money.”

  “That’s ok,” he grinned a little cheekily. “We can put it on Jasper’s tab.”

  Hell yes.

  ***

  We found Levi in his lab with his nose buried in a book. There were books piled everywhere. There wasn’t a surface that didn’t have a book covering it, and I guessed he must have run out of space because there were even piles of them on the floor too. It was chaotic and there was no way there was any method to this madness.

  “Levi,” Fenris called but the scientist was completely oblivious. Fenris sighed beside me before raising his hand in the direction of Levi. His fingers emanated a soft blue glow and the pages of Levi’s book flicked over with the phantom breeze. That was awesome. I still couldn’t get over the fact that magic was real, let alone the fact that I might have it. I still had a long way to go before I finally accepted this new world I had been thrust into. I still felt like I was wondering around in a dream.

  Levi finally looked up from the pages of his book and jumped when his gaze landed on the two of us. He really hadn’t heard us come in.

  “Lori, Fenris, how are you?” He asked. It was clear he hadn’t slept in days. Black smudges sat beneath his eyes and his hair was pulled in all sorts of directions. “I wasn’t expecting to see you again so soon.”

  “Levi, it’s been five days,” Fenris replied flatly.

  “Five days?” Levi replied as his gaze clouded over, his mind disappearing from the room momentarily before his eyes snapped back into focus. “I guess that’s possible. I apologise. I have been trying to figure out more about Lori. You are quite the conundrum.”

  “We have come for an update. What can you tell us?” Fenris pulled out a couple of chairs, and we sat down with Levi. Of course, I had to move the books first.

  I wasn’t sure I was ready to hear the extent of what he had learned but I knew that I needed to know more. No matter how difficult it might be to hear the words. I needed to know who I was and where I came from.

  A buzzing excitement lit up Levi’s face as he started to delve into the things he had discovered. “Well I have examined your blood and found a number of interesting things. You have no human genetic markers. You are 100% supernatural.”

  His words were like a punch to the gut.

  I felt Fenris wrap his hand around mine and give a reassuring squeeze. He smiled down at me and I felt comforted to know that I wasn’t alone. I could do this.

  I looked back at Levi and nodded for him to continue.

  “Your base genome is that of a demon but you’re in a class of your own. Not only are you a very powerful demon, your blood also contains markers for other species. I have never seen anything like this before.”

  “What do you mean?” Fenris asked.

  “Well, it’s probably easier to show you.” Levi turned on a computer screen pulling up a collection of four images of ordinary looking blood cells. They were neat, uniform but with varying sizes and shades going from light pink to dark red across the screen. “These are all images of blood cells from different species starting from Celestial, the lightest, to Vampires, the darkest.”

  I peered closer to the screen, my body humming with anxious curiosity. “Why is there so much difference?”

  Levi’s eyes lit up with excitement and his face beamed with the prospect of imparting his knowledge with an eager listener. He sidled closer to me until we were shoulder to shoulder and pointed at the first image.

  “This is an example of Celestial blood, which is very rare. You don’t find many Celestials entering the Conclave. They find it much too dark for their lofty tastes.”

  Fenris chuckled at Levi’s statement as he came to stand behind my chair, his curiosity clearly getting the better of him too. His hands rested on the back of my chair and his chin brushed the top of my head as he leaned closer. Nope. I was not letting my thoughts drift to how nice it was to have the strong presence of Fenris at my back. That was a complication my life was way too full for. I was already battling demons and fulfilling a prophecy. Admitting that I might be attracted to more than one man was a complication that I could come back too later.

  Much, much later.

  “Next to the Celestial is the blood of a mage. You can see the edges are tipped with a white light, which is the magic clinging to the life force. Image three is the blood of a shifter, and number four is that of a vampire. This is the darkest because a vampire’s cells basically go through a cycle of dying then regenerating when they feed.”

  I was fascinated. I’d never been much of a scientist, but Levi was charismatic when he spoke and I found myself hanging on to his every word.

  “But this is what yours looks like.” The image changed again, and my blood ran cold. The cells in the image were not just one colour but several. The majority of them were dark, so dark they almost looked black, and certainly darker than a vampire’s, but mixed in with those were shades that matched the other hues of blood cells I had just been looking at.

  “This is me?” My voice was unsteady. I didn’t understand what this meant. I looked back at Fenris, but he looked as confused as I did.

  “Yes. You’re aren’t just a demon. I think you’re a mage and possibly something else too,” Levi theorised.

  Silence echoed around the room. Wow. That was a lot to process.

  A week ago, I thought I was a human. Now… now I didn’t know what to think.

  I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I mean, I knew that I might have some sort of magic, but I didn’t think I was a mage. Did Fenris know something I didn’t? I stood from m
y chair so quickly that I made him jump back a step. I narrowed my eyes at him, and he at least had the grace to look sheepish.

  “Did you know?” I asked, my temper rising. I was getting sick of being kept in the dark, and I hated secrets. They had a way of burrowing into your soul like a disease, destroying everything in their wake. I needed Fenris to be honest with me, I didn’t want my friend to lie to me. “Please tell me.”

  Fenris sighed deeply. “We weren’t sure. Jasper rang in and told us about the aurora burst when he first brought you in, but we had no clear knowledge as to where it came from. I’m sorry.” He enfolded me in his arms and pulled me into hug. It was warm and reassuring and I leaned into his embrace. He smelled like the forest, all earthy and fresh, and I let myself just be held by someone who merely wanted to comfort me. He had this way of making me feel grounded, like I wasn’t being whisked away in a storm, unable to find sure footing. “I should have told you. I wanted to, but I also didn’t want you to worry.”

  That was Fenris. He was so sweet and just wanted to help. His big hands rubbed circles on my back and I felt my anger fading. I could have stayed here forever, wrapped in his big strong arms and listening to his steady heartbeat. This was nice. Safe.

  I pulled back a little and looked up at him. I couldn’t stay mad at him, especially when he was looking down at me with big puppy dog eyes. “I forgive you. But no more secrets.”

  “Of course. I never liked keeping them anyway.” His mouth twisted like he had tasted something awful and I knew he felt the same way about secrets as I did. That was good to know. It made me feel like I could trust him to always tell me the truth, no matter how much it would hurt, and I needed someone like that in my life right now to help me navigate through this clusterfuck that I seemed to have fallen into.

  “Have you managed to assimilate fully with your demon yet?” Levi cut in, curiosity burning in his tone.

  “Assimilate? What do you mean?”

  “Well, you’ve never been aware of your demon until Orion awoke it, so you’ve never fully accepted that you are a demon. Somehow, I think you’ve compartmentalised her existence within you and, now that she’s awake, she’s really experimenting to see what she’s capable of.”

  “But that’s dangerous right?” Fear turned my voice shallow as I looked between Levi and Fenris, seeking reassurance that everything was going to be ok.

  It clearly wasn’t.

  Fenris frowned deep in thought. “If you truly are a mage as well, it does worry me. Usually you would have grown into your powers from an early age, honing the skills as you mature. Such late manifestations rarely end well.”

  I felt the colour drain from my face. “What happens to them? To people like me?”

  Pity flashed in Fenris’ eyes and his mouth set into a grim line. I really wished I hadn’t asked that question, not when I suspected the answer might be horrifying. I wasn’t wrong.

  “It has happened a few times before. It is rare to be discovered so late in life, but they all found that the power was too much for them. It burned through them and destroyed them from the inside out.”

  Oh, God. What was happening to me? Panic seized my heart and squeezed it tightly. My chest pounded with the sudden abrupt onslaught of blood pumping through my veins. Heat prickled along my skin as my body trembled. My breaths turned shallow and a sense of overwhelming dread settled heavily in my stomach. A sob choked my throat and robbed my breath.

  “Fenris, am I going to die?”

  “No. I won’t let that happen.” He said it with so much sincerity and conviction that I almost believed him. He had this way of making anything sound possible even though I suddenly felt the cold icy hand of death brush my soul with a caress that was far too intimate. I could feel it lurking in the shadows just waiting for the moment it could finally claim me. “Lori, look at me.”

  My head snapped up at Fenris’ sharp words.

  “We will figure this out. You are strong and you are not on your own. Together we will figure this out.” His warm hands clasped the side of my face and the smile he gave me could have lit up the room. He was gorgeous and it really was distracting. “Come on now, deep breath.”

  I did as he asked and took a deep calming breath. It did help somewhat but I still felt like I was standing at the edge of a precipice looking at my own demise at the bottom. I took another deep breath just for good measure but still exhaled shakily. I don’t think I was going to get used to this at all. I seemed to get used to one idea and then it was like the safety net was pulled out from underneath me, and I was free-falling down the rabbit hole all over again.

  “Fenris, do you think the fact that Lori is a Sin Reaper would help?” Levi pondered, distracting me from comparing my life with Alice’s trip into Wonderland.

  “How so?” Fenris asked, an adorable little curve raising his eyebrow. Standing this close to him I could see that his eyes weren’t just brown but a deep rich umber with gold flecks flickering in their depths. A small scar ran across his left cheekbone and it added a roguish touch to his warm features.

  “What if the demon can help keep the magic at bay? The Sin Reaper is a powerful being, perhaps she can balance the destructive nature generated by the untapped magic?” Levi rummaged through the paperwork on his desk to find his notebook and jotted a few things down as he spoke.

  “I suppose it could be possible… We’ve never had a mage who was also a demon.” Fenris’ eyes glazed over as he disappeared into his own thoughts. He tucked his bottom lip in between his teeth, gnawing on it as he fell deeper into his thoughts. I had the sudden urge to pull it from between his teeth.

  Whoa… This was not the moment to be thinking like that. We were contemplating my doom and it was not the time to be fantasising about how soft those lips would feel. I took a step backwards and lost my footing. My heel connected with a pile of books and I yelped as my body started a sudden descent towards the floor. An arm reached out and grabbed my waist, and I was yanked firmly against the solid wall of a chest.

  “You okay there?” I felt the deep rumble of Fenris’ words more than I heard them. My gaze travelled upwards and I found Fenris looking down at me with deep concern. I was such a clutz and my face heated up with embarrassment at my lack of grace.

  “Um…yeah.” I stepped backwards and narrowly avoided tripping over another stack of books.

  Fenris continued to stare at me, his brows knit as he looked me up and down. I thought he was only looking at me out of concern, but I could feel heat rise through my body as his eyes travelled the length of me. I swear there was something darker lurking in the depths of his umber eyes. There was an intensity about his face that wasn’t there before. His jaw clenched and I had the sudden urge to move closer to him. He’d never given me any indication that he wanted to be more than friends, and I was happy for it to stay that way. But if he kept looking at me like that, I wasn’t going to be responsible for the way I acted.

  “Oh, I figured something else out about your mark Lori.” Thank God for Levi and his inability to keep his mind in the room. The tension shattered between us and Fenris went back to his usual happy self, the weird moment completely forgotten.

  “What did you figure out?” I asked.

  “Quite a few things actually. The dots aren’t just random. They are the constellation that make up Orion. See here.” Levi pointed to a random scrap of paper with a crudely drawn version of the mark on my chest. I could see he’d connected the dots, and there, right in the middle of the two facing crescent moons, was the constellation that had inspired Orion’s name. This symbol really was about him and me.

  “What about the two moons? What do they mean?” I asked, hopeful for an explanation of the whole symbol.

  Levi frowned. “That I haven’t quite figured out yet. I think it’s an old demonology symbol but I haven’t been able to decode it yet.”

  Fenris squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. “What about the symbols, Levi? Did you manage to figure out what lang
uage they were?” Fenris’ breath tickled my cheek as he spoke. He really needed to take a step back. The man was far too distracting.

  “De Santis was right. The marks are Enochian, and I think I have managed to translate it. Which, I might add, wasn’t easy. Nobody speaks Enochian anymore, not even the archangels. Do you know how difficult it is to translate a language that is probably as old as life itself?”

  I raised an eyebrow. “I thought you liked a challenge, Levi?”

  He barked out a laugh. “Well there’s challenging and then there’s attaining the impossible. This definitely fell into the latter category.”

  “Then I am impressed if you have managed to make sense out of it. What did you learn?”

  Levi grimaced. “Nothing good. This is what I think it roughly translates to.” He pulled a piece of paper out of the pile in front of him and handed it to me. There were only three lines of text written in Levi’s scrawl:

  A heart entwined

  A soul combined

  Together lives as One

  I swallowed. My throat was suddenly dry, and my stomach churned as the fear gnawed on my insides like a free for all buffet. “What does it mean?”

  “I think it means that you now share a soul with this Orion, whoever he is. That’s why he can reach your mind and why you can feel the connection through your heart. You are literally bound to him, heart and soul.”

  “I’m tied to a demon?” I asked incredulously.

  “Is there any way to break it?” Fenris asked.

  “Not that I can see. Their very lives are bound to each other. If one dies, so does the other.” Levi’s words echoed round my mind like a sick merry-go-round.

  Oh, god. The paper in my hand fell to the ground as my limbs trembled. Terror gripped my chest like a vice cutting off my ability to breathe. I was going to faint. This was ridiculous. My vision swam and a hysterical burst of laughter lodged in my throat. The last thing I saw was the panic in Fenris’ eyes as he rushed to catch me before I fell to the ground.