Lew obeyed, placed his cap on his lap. ‘Is this official, or father to son?’ he asked.
‘Both? How is she?’
‘She’s May. She’s humbly apologetic and upset by what happened. There were reasons, apparently.’
‘Really? Convince me.’
‘Well...I guess I’ve never told you this, before, Father, but May...well, she led a bit of a wild life in London during the war, after she thought I’d stood her up. So...last night I introduced her to an English officer who had known her during that period. The ghastly thing is that it was all utterly innocent, I’m sure. She thinks so too. He felt sure he’d seen her before, but he had no recollection where. She recognised him right off, and I guess it proved too much for her nerves. So she dashed into the toilet and took one enormous swig of gin. She was just about out when she came back on to the floor. She says she was looking for me to take her home, didn’t see me, and there was this guy Longbridge waiting to dance with her. It was while they were dancing that he suddenly remembered, and then she says everything went black.’
‘And you believe all of this.’
‘I saw it happen, Dad.’
‘So did a couple of hundred other people, who didn’t have the advantage of knowing the background. Although even if they had they would probably have agreed that you should belt her one. Have you ever considered doing that?’
‘May? Me?’
Joe McGann gave a sad smile. ‘Sure, you’re the perfect gentleman, Lew, no matter what they say. But now...what happened last night must be known to everyone in Washington. Within a week it’ll be known to everyone in the Navy.’
What happened last night, Lew thought. You don’t know what really happened last night, and neither does anyone else. Save Brenda. Oh, Brenda. There was nothing and no one else he wished to think about right this minute. And for all their resolutions he had not been able to allow them simply to walk away from each other. So he had telephoned the hotel before coming here. Lucky Danny had already gone out, and after some hesitation, she had at last agreed to meet him that afternoon at half past four. Oh, Brenda.
Joe was leaning across his desk. ‘Lew, you have simply got to get May on the wagon. Now and always. Listen to me, boy. You have had the most unusual life of any naval officer in my memory. Okay, so a lot of it was chance. But so is being born a genius. However it happened, you have got to have ahead of you one hell of a career. Twenty-three, and you’re a lieutenant-commander, a medal of honour holder, the only man in the Navy who was at Jutland, plus, if I may say so, a respected name in this man’s navy and a good deal of natural talent. But nowadays we live in a world where wives count. Maybe it’d be different in a war. But we’re not in a war and we should thank God for that. And in peace time, wives go on overseas stations, and commanding officers and their wives are supposed to play important parts in the social life of whatever community they find themselves in. So the fact is that when the Navy Board meets to select a commanding officer for some station, whether it’s Norfolk or San Diego or Pearl or Manila, and they say, well, the best man for the job in every way is Lewis McGann, you can bet your bottom dollar that someone is going to pipe up and say, yeah, but what about that lush of a wife. I hate to put it that bluntly, but that is what they are going to say, Lew. You could wind up having been not only the youngest lieutenant-commander in the United States Navy, but the oldest one as well. Lew, that would break my heart. And I have a notion it’d break yours as well, no matter how much you love her.’
How much I love her, Lew thought. But what if I have suddenly discovered I don’t love her at all? That had to be untrue. As Brenda had said, you don’t fall out of love with someone as suddenly as that. It had to be his anger. But had he ever loved May? Or had he not always just been swamped by her beauty and eroticism?
‘So you reckon we should split,’ he said.
‘I didn’t say that. It would be grim for the kids and it would be grim for you too. I said you have got to have a heart to heart talk with her, and come over the heavy husband if you have to. Maybe Jim Grayson can help by putting the fear of God into her. Meanwhile, you can’t stay here. I’m arranging for a sea posting.’
‘And you think my being away at sea is going to help May give up the booze?’
‘Oh, God...you have got to fade right away for a little while, Lew, until the good people here have something else to gossip about, and you have got to get your career back on the right lines. You’re a born sailor. A couple of years at sea, with a happy captain’s report at the end of it, and you’re back on track. Don’t you want to go to sea?’
‘Of course I want to go to sea, Dad, but...did you say a couple of years?’
‘There’s a berth on board the old Vermont. You’ll be on gunnery. That can’t be bad.’
‘The Vermont,’ Lew breathed. ‘Heck...’
‘She’s scheduled for a goodwill cruise, right round the world, next year. Taking it real easy, showing the flag. Listen, you talk some sense into that wife of yours, and get Jim to scare the pants off her, and we’ll send her home to Long Island while you’re away. The kids will love Long Island.’
‘Yeah,’ Lew agreed. But will May, he wondered.
*
‘I suppose it was hell,’ May said across the luncheon table. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and her hands trembled, but apart from that she looked none the worse for wear. In fact last night might never have happened at all, save that Karen was in a state of high nervous tension and kept dropping things. But was she remembering her mistress being brought home, unconscious, or the fact that she had been brought home partly by another woman — who had stayed a while? He had remade the spare room bed, but Karen would undoubtedly know it had been slept in — he could only hope she would suppose he had not felt like joining May.
And now he had a job to do. ‘Grim,’ he agreed. ‘My name is mud, at the moment.’
‘Your name? What did you do?’
He gazed at her. ‘I married you.’
‘Oh, Lew.’ Tears welled up in her enormous eyes and plopped on to the tablecloth, while Clive looked from one to the other in wonderment, before beginning to cry himself. Joan was too bewildered to say or do anything.
‘It’s okay, Clive,’ Lew said, rumpling his head. ‘Tell you what...why don’t you take Joan downstairs for a romp? Remember to stay in the yard, right?’
‘Okay, Pop. Come along bug head,’ he told his sister.
‘And don’t be rude to your sister,’ Lew added.
May sniffed and dried her eyes. ‘I’ve let you down. Why don’t you beat me, Lewis? I said you should beat me if I ever let you down? You should beat me insensible.’
‘I’m taking you to see Jim Grayson, instead.’
Her eyes were suddenly watchful. ‘What for?’
‘Because he wants to see you. He was here last night.’
‘Jim?’
‘Sure. I called him when I got in, with you. You were so completely out I was worried.’
‘Oh, you darling. But...is there something the matter with me?’
‘That’s what you’re going to find out.’
*
‘Well,’ Grayson said, leaving his desk to sit beside May on the settee, facing Lew. May was looking hot and bothered, which meant that she had been aroused by her examination — as invariably happened. Therefore she was clearly feeling like a drink as well as a tumble; for the first time Lew wondered whether she drank to stimulate her desires, or partly to quench them. He realised it might be important to find that out, but then forgot all about it, as Grayson went on. ‘I don’t suppose it has occurred to either of you that May might be pregnant.’
‘Pregnant? But...’ he gazed at his wife.
She shrugged. ‘I missed a period. Just one. It’s happened before.’
‘And we cannot be certain at this stage,’ Grayson said. ‘But in another month we will be, and I think it’s extremely likely. Now May, you do want this child?’
‘Well...
’ she glanced at Lew. ‘Of course I do.’
‘Then you don’t want to take any risks on injuring it. Or yourself. You have a constitution like a horse, if you’ll allow me to be ungallant, but the fact is that you’re only twenty-five and at twenty-five almost everyone has a constitution like a horse. You want to keep that health, and you’ll give up drinking.’
‘Give it up?’ Her voice rose an octave. ‘Just like that?’
‘I’m afraid so.’
‘But...’ she looked at Lew.
‘You have to do it, May.’ He temporised. ‘At least until the baby is born.’
‘But...here, in this boring city...what am I going to do with myself?’
‘You won’t be here,’ Lew said, carefully. ‘Oh, are we going someplace else? Oh, thank God for that.’
‘You’re going back to Long Island for a while. For the pregnancy,’ Lew said.
‘To Long Island? You can’t be serious.’
‘You must, May. I can’t leave you alone.’
‘Why, where are you going?’ Her voice rose another octave.
‘I’ve a sea posting. Gunnery officer on board Vermont. That’s Dad’s old ship.’ Now he was speaking very quickly.
‘You’re going to sea, and leaving me...on that crummy farm, with...’
‘May,’ he said. ‘I am a sailor.’
‘Oh...’ she looked at Grayson, who was less embarrassed than might have been supposed. No doubt, Lew thought, he had anticipated a scene at some stage.
‘I’ll only be away a couple of years,’ he said, wondering if he was being unnecessarily brutal.
‘A couple of years? Oh, God!’ Again she looked at Grayson. ‘Can’t you stop him? I’m not well. I need my husband.’
‘I’m afraid being a navy wife isn’t all beer and skittles, May,’ Grayson said. ‘I’ll give you a letter to show to your doctor in Long Island, and he’ll take it from there.’
‘Oh...’ May stood up. ‘I hate you. I hate you all.’
*
‘I do,’ she said in the automatic driving back to the apartment. ‘I hate your whole bloody navy. I hate your bloody country,’ she added.
‘I think you need a rest,’ Lew said. He was hurrying; it was nearly four.
‘Oh...will you come and rest too?’
‘I can’t, May. I am a working sailor, you know. I’ve already taken too long off. Now I simply have to get back to the office.’
‘I thought the Conference was finished.’
‘It is. But there is a good deal of clearing up to be done.’ He pulled into the yard, wondered why his conscience was not troubling him. May was going to be a mother again. He was going to have another child. That thought should have filled him with love for her, and for the unborn babe. And all he could think of was that in half an hour he would be seeing Brenda again. He was, as she had told him often enough, a shit. And Father thought fate had conspired to give him the most marvellous send off in life. If only he and Mom and Shirley had missed the Lusitania — because if that had happened, he would still, in time, have gone to Annapolis...and Brenda would still have been there.
Futile thoughts. He escorted May upstairs, where Clive and Joan were having their afternoon milk and cookies in the kitchen under Karen’s watchful eye. ‘I need a drink,’ May said, and headed for the sideboard.
‘Now sweetheart,’ Lew said.
‘Just one. I can’t just stop like that, Lewis. I’ll get the screaming heebie-jeebies. Just one.’
‘May,’ Lew said. ‘There isn’t any.’
She had just reached the cupboard, and now she opened it in disbelief. ‘Where is it?’
‘I told Karen to pour it all away while we were at the hospital.’
She turned, slowly. ‘All my gin?’
‘And everything else.’
‘You...you bastard!’ she shrieked, picking up the empty whisky decanter and hurling it at him. He ducked, and it shattered against the wall. Joan clapped her hands and Clive, again more aware of what was happening, burst into tears. Karen ran in from the kitchen.
‘I hate you,’ May screamed, picking up the second decanter, which had once contained port.
‘May, you are being ridiculous.’ Lew advanced on her.
‘You touch me...’ she swung the decanter like a club, and he caught her wrists. The glass fell from her hand and it too shattered. As he had done that night in London, he lowered his shoulder, drove it into her midriff, and lifted her from the floor. ‘Bastard!’ she screamed again, banging him on the back with her fists while he held her legs as tightly this time as that, and carried her into the bedroom, where he dumped her on the bed. ‘Bastard,’ she sobbed.
He went into the bathroom, dissolved four aspirins in a glass of water. ‘Drink this,’ he said, returning to the bedside.
‘Oh, Lewis!’ She caught his hand. ‘I am sorry. So sorry. Lewis...come to bed with me. You can skip the office one afternoon. If you come to bed it won’t be so bad, Lewis, please Lewis...’
‘You need the rest, May,’ he told her, and left the room.
*
If only he could be sure of his emotions. If only, he thought, he could give himself the time to sit down and think, about his emotions. But he didn’t want to do that, right this minute. Time enough for that when he got to sea. Oh, indeed, time enough for that. Right now, there was time only for Brenda.
She was waiting on the corner by the hotel, and he stopped just long enough for her to get in and be driven away. She wore a pale pink summer dress which fashionably revealed her ankles and shoes, and a matching picture hat which, pulled down to one side, effectively concealed half of her face. She pulled it down on the window side.
‘I have only an hour,’ she said. ‘Where are we going?’
‘We’ll find that spot in the park.’
‘This is crazy, Lew,’ she said.
‘But you’re here. Was it tough?’
‘Danny was not amused.’
‘Rough stuff?’
She continued to gaze ahead of her. ‘Only in a manner of speaking. I explained that you had to get a doctor, and that I offered to stay with May until you got back.’
‘He accepted that?’
‘Oh, sure. But he still somehow got turned on by it.’
‘Oh, Christ,’ Lew commented. ‘The male prerogative. God damn.’
‘He is my husband, Lew.’
‘Yeah.’
‘So how is May this morning?’
He drew a long breath. ‘Pregnant.’
At last her head turned. ‘Oh, God!’
‘Yeah.’
‘Then we have nothing to talk about, Lew. Please, you’d better drive me home.’
They were already in the park, and he found a place to pull off the roadway beneath the trees. At a quarter to five in the afternoon there weren’t many people about.
‘Lew,’ she said. ‘Take me home.’
‘I’m going to sea,’ he said. ‘Round the world, with Vermont.’
‘Lucky you,’ she said.
‘Two years.’
‘Oh, Lewis...what does May say to that?’
‘We’re short some crystal.’
‘Exciting.’
He took off her hat, kissed her mouth, her nose, her eyes, her forehead, her chin and her throat, and then her mouth again. ‘I love you.’
‘Oh, Lew...two years. Maybe it’s for the best. It has to be for the best.’
He kissed her again. ‘I can’t believe I could have found you again, and now I’m going to lose you again, just like that.’
‘It’s what we knew had to happen. Even before...’ she sighed. ‘Is May going to be all right?’
‘I imagine so. When she’s gotten used to the idea.’
‘But what will she do?’
‘She’ll live on the farm, on Long Island. I was going to take you there.’
She squeezed his hands. ‘I would have like that. Now you must take me home, Lew.’
He kissed her again, and
obeyed. Because she was right. Now they did have nothing to talk about.
*
‘Two years,’ May moaned, as the train chugged north; Lew had obtained the necessary leave to settle his family before joining Vermont in Norfolk.
Brenda is in Norfolk, his heart kept saying. But I can’t go near her, replied his mind. Because I would betray myself to Danny. And because I have betrayed this woman once too often already.
‘Only eighteen months, actually,’ he insisted. ‘And the first six of them are going to be in Norfolk...’
‘I don’t see why we can’t be in Norfolk. It’s so silly, sending us up to Long Island...’
‘Now, May, don’t let’s go into that again.’ He had explained the Navy’s point of view, several times to her.
‘Is eighteen months a long time, Pop?’ Clive asked, sensing another incipient quarrel in the air.
‘A hell of a long time,’ May groused.
‘Not all that long,’ Lew told her. ‘We were separated for two years before, May.’
‘Yes,’ she agreed. ‘Yes, we were.’ She held his hands. ‘Will it be as wonderful, when you come back, after these two years.’
‘It will be for me, May,’ he promised. ‘If...’
Her eyes filled with tears. ‘If I’ve been a good girl. Oh, I will be, Lew. I swear it, I will be.’
He leaned forward to kiss her. ‘Then it will be, I promise.’
Clive hugged them both. ‘I like to see Mom and Pop happy,’ he confided to Joan.
Pray God I’m not lying, Lew thought.
*
It was heaven to be at sea, heading out into the Atlantic. USS Vermont had been launched in 1915, and when Joe McGann had taken command of her just over a year later it had been for her maiden voyage. She belonged to the Pennsylvania class of battleship, which meant that, fully loaded, she displaced just on thirty-six tons. Six hundred feet long by just over a hundred wide, and with a draft of thirty feet, she was a chunky, stable seagoing vessel, powered by four-shaft Curtis turbines driven by six Bureau Express boilers which could deliver thirty-three thousand shaft horsepower and give her a speed of twenty-one knots. She had recently been refitted to increase her protective armour, and had a complement of one thousand and forty officers and men.
Raging Sea, Searing Sky Page 23
