Sugarlips (Beefcakes Book 2)

by Katana Collins

  I scrubbed my palm over my swollen eyes. “It’s not just that. I’ve been so afraid of losing what we had as friends, I wasn’t letting myself fall in love with him. Even though I knew I could—that I would—if I just gave myself over to it.”

  She squeezed my shoulder. “That’s human.”

  “I’ve never really been alone, you know? Not really. Not for an extended period of time. Even here and now after Dan… I’m technically not dating anyone, but Liam was here. He was always here for me.”

  “Well, then, maybe you’re right.” Elaina sighed and I could hear the exhaustion in her raspy voice. How long had that flight been? When was the last time she slept? “Give yourself some alone time. Try to fix the running toilet yourself without calling someone. Try watching a movie by yourself and going out to dinner alone. You may find you like your own company.” She paused and elbowed me gently in the ribs. “I know I do.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You’ve always thought highly of yourself.”

  “I meant you, you dummy. I enjoy your company. You’re a fantastic sister. And an even better friend.”

  The tears that rimmed my eyes were different this time. I’d missed my sister, even though she’d only been gone a couple weeks. “Thanks, Loco.” My joke was a hoarse whisper as I referenced her nickname from high school—Loco Lainey.

  She winked. “Anytime, Taz.”

  40

  Liam

  I paced inside the Beefcakes seating area where Finn was counting the register. “Dude,” Finn said, “You've got to chill out.”

  I don't know how my brother was staying so calm. “Mom’s scan results are in, and they want to see us in person for the results. How are you not freaking out more?”

  My brother shrugged in that lackadaisical way of his. “Because we don't know what we don't know.”

  I fucking hate that phrase. It's so dumb. “Of course we don't know what we don't know. It's the not knowing that causes me so much anxiety.”

  Finn rolled his eyes at me, stuffing the cash from the day into a small black pouch and zipping it up. “Well how about this? They're not asking us to drive all the way down to Boston. They just want us to meet them at their outpatient location. I think that's a pretty good sign.”

  A better sign would be if they’d just call and tell us over the phone, ‘Hey, guess what? The cancer’s gone!’ But maybe he was right. Maybe the fact that they're not asking us to drive an hour and a half—only about thirty minutes instead—is a good sign. But I couldn't help that gnawing doubt jittering in my stomach. If it was good news, if Mom's cancer was finally in remission, why wouldn't they just tell us that over the phone?

  It was frustrating, not just for me but for Finn too, that nothing he seemed to say was helping to soothe my nerves. In fact, there wasn't a single person I knew that was good at helping me through these hard times... other than Chloe.

  I froze, mid-step where I was pacing and stared out the window. I wanted her. No, wait. I didn’t want her. This feeling wasn't desire.

  I needed her.

  I was going out of my mind, crawling out of my skin, and the only thing that could remotely make that feeling stop was the thought of her here sitting next to me, holding my hand.

  Was this how she felt with me? When I left her, did I yank the rug out from under her feet? I berated her, made her feel like a codependent leech when here I was feeling the same way, doing the same thing.

  And what's worse, I think my family was right. There was nothing wrong with needing to lean on someone you love from time to time.

  Of course, that didn't change the fact that Chloe loved me but couldn't seem to bring herself to admit it or act on it. But maybe if I led by example, and let myself need her just a little, maybe that would open the floodgates. Maybe she could see and learn that she not only needed me, but also wanted me.

  All this time, I thought I was Chloe's crutch, but she was just as much mine. Not once did I ever have to admit that I needed her there. She just was. She showed up to every event, every time I needed her… without me asking. Not once did she ever force me to say I needed her.

  Fuck.

  Grabbing my phone, I looked at her social media, searching for any hint as to where she might be right now. “Come on,” I muttered, scrolling through her stories. “Give me something.”

  Just as I was about to give up, I came upon a photo. A pizza baking in a brick oven.

  Bingo.

  I knew where she was. Nick’s Pizzeria.

  I yanked the apron from around my neck and tossed it onto one of the tables, lunging for the front door.

  “Where the hell are you going?” Finn called after me.

  I paused in the doorway, a smile edging along my lips. “I’m going to get Chloe. I… I need her.”

  “About goddamn time.” Finn’s smile widened. “Well, go on. And you better grab your coat. I hear it's pretty cold out there. You know, since hell froze over.”

  41

  Chloe

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Nick try to pour more wine into my glass. I quickly placed my hand over the top of the delicate rim, not missing a beat. “… which is why if you look at the projections, you could start delivering pizza, but the additional employee and insurance costs might completely offset any increase in revenue. For now, at least.”

  He glanced at my hand, still covering the glass, smirking. “You sure you don’t want a second pour? I know this cab is your favorite.”

  I smiled and shook my head. “It’s two in the afternoon.” And I still had a ton of work to do before Finn and I took The Dump Truck out tonight.

  “Okay, no pressure.” He paused, leaning in closer to my face and brushed his calloused thumb gently beneath my eye. “Eyelash,” he said, holding it up for me to see. With a quick flick of his fingers and brush of his hands against his pants, the lash was gone.

  I gulped, remembering how Liam would always hold it up for me to make a wish. Not for the first time, my stomach churned with memories.

  I missed him. I missed him so damn much that it was hard to breathe, let alone think and work and live my life normally.

  I cleared my throat, hoping to cough up the stifling, bitter loneliness I felt, and focused on business, pulling out my phone to scroll through Nick’s TikTok feed. “Look, I know you said you don’t want your face on social media, but—”

  “Chloe,” he groaned my name and rolled his eyes, flopping into the seat across from me.

  “Hear me out.” I paused to take a bite of pizza and moaned in appreciation for how damn delicious it was. Working for all these delicious eateries in Maple Grove was going to go straight to my hips. “Your engagement on social media is really good. Imagine what it could be if you showed your face. You’re hot, and people would go nuts to watch you give tips for how to make pizza at home.”

  He didn’t say anything while I continued to scroll through the various posts. Finally, the silence was a little much, and I glanced up from the phone to find Nick leaning on his arms on the table just a tad too close to me.

  His brow quirked. “You think I’m hot?”

  Uh oh. I gulped. That was so not what I meant or intended. Yes, Nick was a handsome guy. But I so wasn’t into him. Not like that. In truth, I wasn’t into anyone like that… except for Liam.

  I cleared my throat. “As your marketing consultant, yes, you are objectively an attractive man. And I think there is a way to leverage that into a bigger fan base.”

  Nick smirked; a smoldering lift to one corner of his mouth. Dammit. “You and that Evans guy… you two aren’t a thing anymore, are you?”

  “No,” I answered quickly. “We’re not a thing. We never were a thing.”

  “Good.”

  Good?

  My spine bristled as I glanced up through my thick lashes at Nick.

  “That’ll make things a lot easier for me when I ask you out,” he said.

  “Nick, no.” I shook my head. “I’m not… that’s not what this
is. I’m sorry, I’m just not interested in you that way.”

  When I finally lifted my gaze to his, his smirk had faded, but he was nodding. “Well, it was worth a try. I thought maybe I’d finally met my match with someone as strong-willed and pigheaded as you.”

  “Wow. You really know how to flatter a girl you’re trying to ask out, don’t you?”

  With a shrug, his grin returned. “It’s no secret that I’m an asshole.” He raised his wine glass in the air. “To being colleagues?” he asked.

  The high-pitched clink rang out through the quiet pizzeria, I added, “To being friends.”

  There was a long pause as Nick continued to stare at me over the rim of his wine glass and I lifted a brow at him. “Although, friends don’t usually look at each other like that,” I said.

  He laughed and shook his head. “I’m not looking at you, I promise. I was thinking about an idea for our social media. What if I’m not the face of it… what if I pay someone else to be?”

  I tilted my head. “Like who…”

  “I was thinking maybe K—”

  Before he could finish his thought, the door slammed open, hitting the wall behind it so loudly that I jumped, spilling wine out of my glass.

  I blinked against the light spilling in behind the dark, shadowed figure in the doorway, but I’d recognize that silhouette anywhere. “Liam?”

  42

  Liam

  I was moving through the door of the pizzeria, even though my body was completely numb.

  She’s on a date.

  I’d stood dumbstruck outside of Nick’s pizzeria, watching through the window as he caressed her face. Like a horrendously bloody accident, I couldn’t tear my eyes away as he leaned forward onto his elbows across the table, a shit-eating grin on his face.

  I knew that fucking grin. I’d seen Nick wield that smile on so many unsuspecting women through the years. And when they clinked their wine glasses and made doe-eyes at each other, I seriously thought I was going to be sick.

  I lost her. I gambled by pushing her away and telling her to figure out a way to not need me, and she called my damn bluff. She found a way to not need me… she filled my role with someone new.

  Two weeks. It had been two full weeks since Chloe had butt dialed me—or stair texted me—at four in the morning.

  I missed her. I missed her so damn much that I was regretting ever pushing her away. Even though I knew the essence of what I’d asked for was true, what if I was wrong?

  I was really hoping that this time apart would have made her realize how badly she wanted me. How badly she loved me.

  In a blink, I was standing inside the restaurant and the few people sitting in the dining room all turned, staring right at me.

  Including Chloe.

  She stood, blinking those beautifully blue eyes. “Liam? What are you doing here?”

  Holy fuck. What was I doing here? I’d come here for a reason.

  My stomach turned as Nick got slowly to his feet, his body rigid, eyes locked on me.

  I’d already punched Nick in the face once, but he’d deserved it that time. Now? I had no claim over Chloe. She owed me nothing, and if she wanted to date him, I had no one to blame but myself.

  But I also didn’t have to stand idly by and watch. Not without making my feelings known.

  I swallowed and turned my attention to Chloe who was now standing directly in front of me. Her concerned expression was a mixture of a tilted frown and creased brows. “Is everything okay?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “Nothing’s okay without you in my life,” I admitted. My voice was raw and hoarse with the honesty.

  “What?” she whispered, her blue eyes coated with a thin sheen of moisture.

  “I’m an idiot,” I admitted. “Any man would be lucky to have a woman like you need him. But because I’m so pigheaded, I couldn’t see how much I needed you, too. I’ve spent so many years doing everything alone because I had no choice in the matter. But now? I got a small taste of what it’s like to have someone be there for me. Someone to hold my hand through hard times. Someone who would drop everything, wake up at three in the morning, and bake the world’s worst muffins just so I didn’t have to drive alone to my mom’s surgery.”

  She blinked slowly, and even though nothing else in her face shifted, a slow tear rolled down her cheek “I hope there’s more coming… because if you just came here to insult my baking—”

  “I need you, Chloe. Yes, I also want you, but what I feel is so much more than that. You make everything better. Breathing is easier around you. I want you to be my person. My best friend person. My girlfriend person. And eventually, my wife person. I want you to want me… and I’ve realized that’s it okay if you also need me.”

  She swiped at her cheek and, with a shake of her head, chuckled. “I realized the opposite.”

  My stomach went hollow at her declaration, and I felt white-hot tingles as my face drained. I must look like a mess—hair wild, eyes red-rimmed. My heart thumped in heavy pulses against my ribcage.

  “Actually,” she continued. “I’m so much more capable than I thought. Did you know that for two nights last week, Finn couldn’t be there to help me bake and run the food truck? I did it alone.”

  I smiled, despite the numbing sadness creeping into my limbs. “I knew you could handle that. I mean, hell, you scraped all the rust and painted that damn truck yourself. Of course you could sling a few donuts and cookies on your own.”

  Her smile widened, but there were still traces of moisture brimming her eyes. “It might have been obvious to you, but I never would have learned that if you hadn’t given me the push to stand on my own two feet.”

  The tears in her eyes ripped through me, shredding me from the inside out. I desperately wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her into me. “You could always stand on your own two feet. You just needed to let go of my hand to see it for yourself.”

  She nodded and took a step forward. “Exactly. And despite being able to do it on my own… I’d rather stand alongside my partner.” She slid her hands up my biceps, gripping my muscles. “I love you, Liam Evans. And I want you. I want you more than I need you.”

  The reality of her words slammed into me. She loves me. As another tear fell down her cheek, heat burned the backs of my eyes, too, buzzing in my sinuses. I felt the slow roll of moisture slip down my face. “I want you more than I need you too, Chloe.” I leaned down, gently pressing my forehead to hers. “But I do need you.”

  Chloe reached up and caught one of my tears with her index finger. “I never thought a crying man could be so sexy,” she whispered.

  Normally, this would be the moment I’d flex or put on some false macho display to try to prove something to myself and every witness to my tears. But with Chloe in my arms and tears still in my eyes, I leaned forward and rested my lips to hers.

  Her moan was my reward and a small hiccup trembled against our parted lips as she deepened the kiss, nudging my mouth wider with her tongue.

  As the kiss ended, her grin widened against me and she dipped her finger into my chin dimple.

  “Admit,” she said, smiling up at me. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? Ever since you dropped those donuts off at my house and stayed the night watching romantic comedies with me.”

  “No,” I said. Shaking my head, I was suddenly serious. With my hand cupping her jaw still, I could feel her heavy pulse driving against my fingers. “This was my plan ten years ago when we were sixteen making out. It just took a lot longer than I expected.”

  Epilogue

  Chloe

  One year later…

  I hated leaving Liam in bed alone. But with the stress of yesterday, he needed the rest. It had become somewhat of a tradition over the last twelve months that we’d all have a giant sleepover the night of Linda’s scans. She’d been cancer free for every scan so far in the last twelve months, and with this latest clear scan, it meant she only needed to come in every six months�
�� not every three months as she’d been doing. It was a huge milestone for the Evans family.

  Since Liam’s and my home had the most bedrooms, our house was almost always the camping ground for said sleepovers. Which was fine with me. I adored having everyone here.

  We all stayed up super late, watching movies and celebrating the latest remission diagnosis from the doctor. Even though it was only six in the morning and I’d only gotten about five hours of sleep, I wanted to be the first one awake. It was part of the ritual… that I woke up each morning after our sleepovers and made the family some special pancakes for breakfast.

  Three months ago, I’d made lemon blueberry ricotta pancakes. And today? It was peanut butter cup pancakes—with my homemade chocolate ganache syrup.

  I snuck down the stairs and as I reached for my cast iron skillet from the top cabinet—a Christmas gift from Linda last year—there was a soft thud as something hit the edge of the pan. Something was inside.

  That was strange.

  I pulled it down and there in my fancy pan was a soft looking velvet box.

  Not just any box…. A ring box.

  Nerves fluttered through my body, riding the rushing wave of my blood like a log flume as I set the pan down and lifted the box in my hands, opening it slowly.

  Huh. It was empty.

  “Looking for this?” A deep voice said behind me.

  When I swiveled around, I found Liam down on one knee. A diamond winked at me as a beam of the rising sun streamed into the kitchen window, catching an edge of the solitary engagement ring he held in his hands.

  Tears. So many tears flooded my eyes that I could barely see him through the rippling sheen. He hadn’t even asked me yet, and I was already a mess.

  Liam sniffled and tugged the hem of his t-shirt to dab at the corner of his eye. “Fuck, Chloe… don’t start that. I’ll never get through this.”