Still Jaded

by Tijan

  "Like you?"

  "Maybe." His shoulders lifted in excitement. He couldn't contain the glee on his face. "I have plans. This is only my day job, and I think she likes me."

  She did, huh? I wondered if he had shared this delusion with Guadalupe herself?

  He leaned forward and whispered, "I got her number. She slid it over the counter to me."

  I perked up. The drunk gods gave me a break. "Really?"

  He flashed it to me, but I caught the numbers before he put it back in his pocket. "When they got here, she gave it to me. That stuffy guy wasn't looking. I haven't called her yet, but I'm planning on texting her tonight. Maybe we can get together after her dinner with Bryce Scout."

  "She'd like that. I'm sure."

  He was so giddy as he giggled, "I will." Then something changed in his demeanor, and he looked at me in shock. Ah—the professional clerk was back. He'd remembered where he worked, and I saw the fevered look leave him.

  Celebrities often left it in their trail.

  Now he was all business again as he straightened behind the desk. "Is there something you needed, Miss?"

  I was tempted to tip my hat to him. He switched back to real life quicker than the normal fan. "I'm okay. Thanks."

  As I rode the elevator back to my room, I had no plan in mind. And I had no idea what to do with Guadalupe's phone number. She would've only answered if I sent her a message from Bryce's phone, so I felt dejected as I turned on the television to a music station and grabbed the vodka from my mini-bar. As the music flowed over me, I curled into one of my patio chairs and relaxed for the first time in a long while.

  Sometime during the night, I realized the music station had been turned off. Then I felt the warmth of the bed sheets and curled into them. It was the next morning when I woke to the sounds of screaming and splashing. Stupid children. When I rolled over in bed, I was disoriented for a moment. Then I remembered my stupid decision and groaned as I pressed my face into the pillow.

  "Are you sober?"

  My head snapped up. Then my gut sank. Oh no. Bryce was on the other bed. His elbows were braced on his knees, and he glared at me.

  Not good.

  But then the vomit took precedence. My gut rumbled, and I stumbled to the bathroom. I got there just in time to empty what little had been in my stomach. That was when I finally had the courage to look in the mirror. I looked hideous. My hair was everywhere. My eyes were swollen and blood shot. My face still looked like the back end of a truck. I grimaced and threw water on my face, but the cuts stung. Then I brushed my teeth, cleaned my armpits, and tried to calm my hair a little. I cleaned up as much as possible.

  Bryce came to lean against the doorframe. "Mathias made the mistake of letting me use his phone. I saw you had called him. He didn't want to tell me, but he finally told me you wanted to know where Guadalupe was staying. The front desk guy was nice enough to tell me what room you were in."

  "And help you get in?" I grumbled as I crossed the room and found some clean clothes. My choices were sparse. I chose another sweatshirt and jeans. As I walked to the patio, I grabbed a bottle of rum this time.

  Bryce grabbed it back and then caught my wrist. He pulled me against him. "You will not be drinking yourself into a stupor. Not this time. Why didn't you tell anyone you were released from the hospital?"

  I wrenched away my arm and then the bottle. "Are you kidding me? Who was I going to call? You? You're sleeping with Guadalupe, remember? And you think that I'm sleeping with Corrigan." I tipped the bottle his way. "Who I'm not sure if I'm even talking to right now. And Grace." I snorted. "Like I would call her. Not after I know she's lying to me." Then I rolled my eyes. "I'll do whatever I damn well please."

  "Sheldon, be reasonable." Bryce followed me out to the patio. "What are you doing here?"

  He sounded like he really didn't know. I looked at him in disgust and took a drink, though I couldn't taste it anymore. "Where else would I go? Maybe I could stay wherever you stayed last night because we both know you didn't go back to my place to sleep alone."

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  "Is that why you came here? Were you running away?"

  I snorted. "No, Bryce. Yes. I don't know. Someone's stalking me, what a surprise, and I wanted to stalk someone else. I wanted to be in control. Look at that, my therapist would be so proud!"

  "You don't have to be flippant."

  "Flippant? Is that your new word?" I guzzled some more. I loved being drunk; it made the rest of the world disappear.

  "Sheldon. We have serious problems—"

  "You're telling me?!" I laughed, outraged. "Someone trashed my place, Bryce. Officer Sheila showed up at the hospital and told me about it. I'm thinking it's someone who's obsessed with you because this all started after you got to town. We know you've got the crazy fans, not me. No one knows who I am anymore except through you or Corrigan. I'm a nobody. I'm trying to be a nobody, and you won't let me. You all keep bringing me into your drama!"

  Bryce was silent for a moment and then chuckled. "Someone trashed your place? Are you sure it's not from the party?"

  "Officer Sheila told me what damage was done. They destroyed everything. It might not have happened if you'd been there."

  "You're blaming me?"

  I glared at him. "I don't know. Maybe. Where'd you sleep last night?"

  "You tell me about Corrigan first," he shot back.

  "Really? We're playing this game?" Again.

  "We really are."

  I let out an exaggerated sigh and went back into the room. I didn't know where to go so I sat on the edge of the bed. Bryce followed me and waited. I felt his presence loom over me. He wanted answers I didn't want to give. I wiped at an annoying tear and started, "I know you think Corrigan and I had sex, but we didn't."

  Bryce waited a moment. "But…"

  "But…we almost did." A part of me cared and a part of me didn't care. I didn't know my insides well enough to discern which part cared more. So I figured I'd explain it all, or the parts that made sense to me at least. "He left Spain because his mom had cancer. That was fine and dandy, but I missed him. I missed him a lot, more than I should have. For a long time I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me, why would I miss Corrigan so much when I had you? Then I realized it was because I didn't have you. You played soccer. You were always playing soccer. I got it. I get it now. It's what you do, but I wasn't ready for it." Not then, not after what had happened.

  I waited a moment for his reaction, but I didn't hold my breath. "I realized that I needed a friend, and since we all know I suck at making those, I was having serious clinging issues with Corrigan. When he left, we both know I went crazy. You told me to go home so I did. I felt a little better when I got back, but I didn't go straight to him or anything. I wasn't sure what I was going to do if I did, so I didn't do anything. It wasn't until a few months ago when I saw him again."

  "That's when it happened?"

  I nodded. I'd become numb again. "Yeah. I'd been missing you both so much and I was drunk. Corrigan heard from someone that I was back and came over without telling me. Things got…heated, but we stopped before anything serious could happen. I didn't see his penis, if that makes you feel better."

  "I have a great girlfriend. That's such comforting news to share."

  I shot back, "Well, I wasn't your girlfriend at that time. It'd been a few months, and I hadn't heard from you. Remember? You called the next week and acted like nothing happened. I took my cue from you, Bryce, and figured I didn't need to say anything. Are we even together now?"

  He groaned and ran a hand through his hair. "Why are things so weird between you two?"

  I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because something almost happened? Normal people would feel guilty, right? Maybe Corrigan's always had a thing for me? I don't know. I don't really care right now." Someone trashed my place. "Where'd you stay last night? A deal's a deal."

  Bryce froze and then jerked forward. "I…"

  I closed
my eyes. I already knew. "Who was it?"

  "I didn't cheat on you, but thanks for the vote of confidence." Bryce jerked up from the other bed and started to pace the room. "I left the hospital, and I meant to go find Corrigan. I thought it'd be much more work to get the truth from you so I was going to beat it out of him instead. I was halfway there when I got a call. Savannah saw me on the news and threw a fit."

  "Your spoiled twelve year old sister threw a fit at four in the morning? What convenient timing."

  "It's the truth." He glared at me. "You can call my mom if you don't believe me."

  I batted his phone away. "You and I both know I would never call your mother." Not willingly, anyway.

  "Then you're going to have to believe me."

  "Like hell." I stood and started to get dressed.

  "Where are you going?"

  I grabbed my purse. "There's a restaurant here. I need to eat."

  Bryce caught my arm. He pulled me back and touched my face. "You need to get your dressings looked after. What did the doctor say?"

  I cursed and shoved him away. "I have pain medication, and he said to have someone re-dress the wound two times a day."

  "So let me."

  "Hell no."

  "Sheldon," Bryce sighed as he raked his hand through his hair again. It was what he did when he was frustrated. "Come on. Just sit down. Tell me what I need to do. This doesn't have to be so much work."

  "I'll get Grace or someone else to do it. Don't worry."

  "You're just going to leave? At least tell me you'll take a cab?!" Bryce yelled after me, but the door shut on his words.

  I wanted to sprint down the hallway but knew I would've looked even more ridiculous than I did. My face was cut up with sunglasses over my black eyes. Add running to the mix, and someone would think I was being chased by the person who had beaten me up.

  Once outside, I caught the first cab I saw. "Drive. Just drive."

  Soon we were on our way to nowhere. I ignored the smell of rotten bananas and sweat and closed my eyes for a moment. I felt my way through my purse and brought out the pain medication. When I got a pill free, I grabbed a small bottle of water out of my purse. After I'd swallowed the pill, I knew things would get a little better. I needed things to get better.

  "Where to, ma'am?"

  I gave the Alpha Mu's address. After we pulled up and I paid the cab driver, I thought about my decision to go there. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea, but I stood on the sidewalk and took a breath. For once, their front lawn wasn't full of fraternity brothers playing football or whatever drunken game they always had going on. It was silent and a little eerie. I checked my phone and saw it was nine in the morning. Most of the guys were probably asleep or in class.

  When I went inside, I ignored the few guys who played pool. Raz called my name, but I didn't pause until I kicked open Corrigan's door.

  Two bodies scrambled for cover on his bed. I only cared about one. When the girl wrapped herself in a blanket, I took her arm and pushed her out the door.

  "Hey!"

  I bent down and nabbed a shirt and shorts of Corrigan's, then chucked them at her. "Goodbye now." I gave her a forced smile as I shut the door in her face.

  Corrigan groaned. "What the hell is going on with you? That's the second time you've done that this week. I might start getting ideas, Sheldon."

  I glared and threw clothes at him. "Get dressed. There's been a new development I need your help with."

  He caught the clothes in one hand but stood in his boxers and stared at me. "Are you okay?" His nose wrinkled up. "You reek of booze."

  I have such smart friends.

  "Let's go. Dress!"

  Then I left and looked for my next victim. When I rounded the kitchen, I spotted Leah. She had an arm around the girl I had kicked out of Corrigan's room. Both of them looked furious. But I needed caffeine, badly, so I veered to the coffee maker first.

  Leah patted the girl on the arm. "Vicki said you literally threw her out of Corrigan's room."

  "Shut up." I savored the smell of my coffee. After I'd taken a few seconds in coffee bean heaven, I regarded her again. "I need your help."

  Leah's expression switched from one of anger to concern. Her hand dropped from Vicki. "What's wrong?"

  The girl's mouth dropped as she looked between Leah and me. When Leah crossed the room, she stomped her foot and left in a huff. I fought the urge to smirk, but Leah was predictable. That's when I took another sip of coffee before I took off my sunglasses and she gasped as I knew she would. "Is this from yesterday? Corrigan said it wasn't good, but you look like you got hit by a bus."

  "Something like that. I need help with my dressings. Would you do that for me? My shoulder is hurt so I can't do it myself."

  "Sheldon, you look like road kill," Michael, one of Corrigan's brothers, said as he bounded into the room.

  "Not all of us can look like an academic juicehead."

  "Uh?" He jerked his eyes away from Leah's breasts.

  "Nothing."

  "Why do you want me to help you?" Leah eyed me with suspicion.

  I was already prepared. "Because Cadence and that psycho sorority house put me on edge. Grace is off her rocker right now, which leaves me with you and you alone. Think you can handle it?"

  Michael lifted up his own coffee cup. "And because if you do anything to her, she knows Corrigan will go watchdog on your ass, Leah."

  She pursed her lips. "There goes my secret plan of knifing the bitch."

  I grinned. This morning I felt like more of a crazed bitch than normal.

  Corrigan came into the kitchen and stopped short. "Can you come upstairs, Shel?"

  Leah flashed a smile. "I get to do her dressings first."

  He narrowed his eyes and looked between the two of us. Then he shrugged. "Whatever. Just come up when you're done."

  Leah showed me to a bathroom near the backdoor. "Do you have bandages and ointment?"

  I took my purse and pulled out a plastic bag that the nurse had insisted I take with me. "They gave me enough for a couple of dressings."

  "Does it hurt a lot?" Leah sucked in her breath when she started peeling some of my dressings away on my forehead.

  "It stings." But that wasn't where the real pain came from. "I'll be fine with pain. I'm on booze and meds."

  As she started to clean and reapply the ointment, Leah murmured, "Anyone else and I'd probably think they're crazy. You, Sheldon, this is almost a daily habit like brushing your teeth."

  I shrugged before hissing with pain. "I've been through my fair amount of hell."

  "You are one crazy bitch, that's for sure." Leah leaned forward to inspect some more of the cuts. "I know you don't like me. And I know you're backed into a corner which is why I'm the one doing this for you, but I wanted you to know something." She moved back and stared me in the eyes. "I am not using you for anything. You've said some awful things to me, and I know why you did. You were defending your friendship with Corrigan. I get it. He's your territory, and you were making sure I didn't move in, but those other sorority girls, the ones from Zeta Gamma Phi just want you because of Corrigan and Bryce. That Cadence bitch is bad news. Trust me."

  I pointed to my face. "Keep working, Leah."

  "Sorry," she murmured. "I've been thinking, and I can see why you are how you are. You're gorgeous. You're smart. And you have this quality that's saying, like, 'fuck you' to everyone. People are drawn to you. Plus, there's Corrigan and Bryce. Everyone either wants something from you or wants to use you for your friends."

  "Your point?" I gritted my teeth from the pain. She was helping