Captain Mugford: Our Salt and Fresh Water Tutors
Page 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN.
OCTOBER SPORT--A BLACK JOKE.
Only two weeks more! Letters had come from our parents to us and to ourtutors, saying that we must return to Bristol on November the first.
Our great amusement at this time was shooting, as boating had becomesomewhat cold work. Now and then we knocked down a few straggling wildfowl, which at that early season had incautiously approached our cape,not aware of the sportsmen residing on it. Our tutors enteredenthusiastically into the sport, borrowing guns from the town across thebay, and joining Walter and Harry every afternoon. We other fellowswere also allowed to be there to take charge of Ugly, who entered intothe sport as warmly as any of us. We generally stayed on the neck untilnear sunset, and just as the rabbits were out for their supper, startedfor home. That was Ugly's half-hour of sport, in which he was alwayssure to bring two or three rabbits round to the guns. Mr Clare couldnot shoot as well as Walter, or even Harry, at flying game, but he wasfirst-rate at rabbits; let them jump as fast and high as they might,with Ugly only ten feet behind, and if our fresh tute pulled on them;they were sure to fall. With the Captain things went differently, muchto our amusement; for our salt tute cared not how much we laughed at hisfailures, which all his shots were. He brought up his gun as if it werea harpoon, and always gave it a jerk, to help it shoot farther, when hepulled the trigger. The butt was seldom at his shoulder; and as heinsisted upon putting immense loads in his gun, the results weresometimes disastrous to him and ridiculous to us. He often sprang backafter a shot, as if he had been kicked by a horse, or wrung his hands,which had borne the recoil. His misses and misfortunes, however, nevermade him angry or dejected. After each failure, out came the redbandanna to wipe his brow, and as a shout of laughter greeted theperformance, he would say calmly, with only a gleam of a smile, "So,boys, you think I missed, eh? Well, _perhaps_ I did."
Clump and Juno having been much alarmed and excited by the discovery ofthe smugglers, we boys determined to profit by their disquieted state ofmind, and hatched a scheme to afford some fun. We watched anopportunity to put it in execution. The time came one evening when ourtutors did not return with us to the house after the afternoon'sshooting, but went to the _Clear the Track_, to chat and settle someother matters until tea-time at seven.
Delighted with the arrangement, we boys ran to the house, and, gettingup into our attic, began to make preparations for the trick we hadconcocted. There was nothing very original in our plan, I must own, norwas it, I confess, a very grand or noble thing to try and frighten acouple of poor ignorant negroes, for such was the object just then ofour plans and preparations. Clump and Juno had a wholesome dread ofsmugglers and of the acts of vengeance of which they were supposed to becapable. We therefore arranged to dress up so as to make ourselves lookas formidable as possible, and then to appear suddenly before the oldcouple. For this purpose we brought up from the wreck all the boatcloaks, greatcoats, and pieces of canvas which we could find, andsou'westers and tarpaulin hats, not forgetting some pistols and rustyswords. Besides these we laid in a store of pasteboard, and brown andcoloured paper, and some laths, and string, and paint, and corks, andtow. With this abundant supply of materials we set to work to fabricatea variety of garments, such as we supposed smugglers would wear; at allevents, such as were worn on the stage. We made a sufficient number offalse noses to supply each of our faces, and long curling moustaches,which made those who wore them look very fierce. Some had wigs withwonderfully long shaggy hair, and others beards of prodigious growth.The greatcoats and cloaks served for most of the party, with belts roundtheir waists stuck full of daggers made of wood, and a real pistol ortwo. Then we manufactured out of the canvas some high boots of hugeproportions; the upper part capable of containing the whole of a man'spersonal luggage, and a day's supply of provender into the bargain.Nothing could exceed, either, the wild and ferocious appearance of ourhats. Two of us wore black feathers in them, and two others wereadorned with death's heads and cross bones: indeed, it must be confessedthat we represented much more a band of pirates of two or threecenturies back than a party of such smugglers as it was probable couldbe found on the British coast. Besides the real swords we possessed, wemanufactured some hangers out of wood, which we hung by sashes at oursides. In fact, our disguises were complete in every respect, and sofierce did we all appear, that I truly believe, had one of us metanother in any gloomy, half-lighted place, both heroes would have runaway. Walter took an active part in all the arrangements, and being thetallest and well stuffed out, looked every inch of him a bold smuggler.It is wonderful what burnt cork and rouge and dark locks will effect inturning a mild, gentle-looking person into a fierce leader of outlaws.It was arranged that Drake and I should go down first before dressingup, to prepare the way for the rest of the actors, then he was first tostep out, and I was to follow, and get ready. All being at lengthprepared, we descended to the kitchen, and strolled in there in a tiredway, as if we were just in the humour to listen to the old blackies'talk and receive their petting. Clump, sitting bent over the fire toget light for his work, was cutting some tholes for the boat with hisknife. "Hi," he said, as he saw us enter, "dat's good fur sore eyes."
And Juno, taking the pipe from her mouth, greeted us with a long whiffof smoke, and--
"I'se glad you'se cum--getten dark an glum 'ere, only ole Clump an me.What do yun Massas shoot?" Drake held up a couple of rabbits and threewild fowl. "Oh! de gorry--all dem!--well, dis chile nebber sees delike; an you'se gwine ter gib dem ter Clump agin--'spects so, all you'sedon't want. De ole niggers be rich dis winter."
Clump, when he had got us seats, dusting the kitchen chairs with hislong coat-tails, resumed his task, and as Juno's garrulousness ran on,he shook his head and chuckled, and muttered and grinned, just as if hewere behind the scenes and prompting her to amuse us. He always hadthat funny way of grimacing and conversing with himself gaily, whilstJuno indulged in her talkative fits. He admired his old partner hugely.Once, when travelling with my father, he heard at an Assize some greatlawyer make a speech, and said, when the orator had concluded--
"De'clar, Massa, dat's fine; dis nigger nebber hear anyone speak likedat afore, 'cept--'cept Juno."
By-and-by, as Juno's talk ran sluggishly, and the pipe required muchpicking and blowing, Clump got up to put by his work and light a lamp.But that we forbid, saying the firelight was so much pleasanter.
"Dat's so," said Juno, who had got her solace in good order again, andwas all ready to start off on a new stream of jabber. "Dat's so--Clumpnot ole nuff ter know dat fire-lite more good dan lam-lite. Hi! hi! heonly chile yit."
Drake interrupted there, to turn the conversation into another channel,by saying that we should leave the old house soon to go back to Bristol,and Clump asked, having taken a seat on the wood-box directly under thetrap-door, "An you'se glad--glad? 'Spects de ole house git cole an dullto yous now; 'spects de yun Massas want git home?"
"Well, no, Clump," answered Drake; "I don't want to go away--that is, wewould not want to go if--if--if we had not been somewhat frightened thisevening."
Juno, because of her deafness, did not plainly hear what Drake had said,but she judged it in part from his manner and the assumed look of terrorthat he cast over his shoulder. So she bent forward anxiously, andasked him in a voice full of concern--
"Wat's dat, Massa Drake--wat's dat you say?" Drake drew nearer to herand repeated what he had said. "My hebbens, Massa Drake, wat did scaryou?"
"Well, you see, Aunt Juno," replied Drake, looking cautiously about himagain in the darkness of the room--"Bob and I were coming round at theback of the house, when we heard, or thought we heard, whispering, andon drawing nearer, we heard some fearful threats uttered; I cannot saywhat they were, they were so dreadful."
"Oh! don't talk so, Massa Drake, if dere was anybody, dey must be desmugglers, and dey will come to cut all our troats," exclaimed Juno,looking cautiously round over her shoulder.
I cannot say
that even then, thoughtless as I was, I liked what Drakehad said, because he had told a positive falsehood, and it was no excuseto declare that it was said in joke. Drake continued, his voice growingmore and more tremulous every instant, as if with terror--"That's notall. As we crept away undiscovered, we heard the tramp of many feetcoming up from the shore, and we shouldn't be surprised if at this verymoment the house was surrounded by smugglers, come to carry us all offto foreign lands, to make slaves of us."
"Or to make soup of us," I cried out, wringing my hands. "Oh dear, ohdear, oh dear!"
"What has become of Walter and the rest, it is impossible to say," addedDrake. "Too probably they have been already spirited away by thesmugglers. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!" he exclaimed, and, jumping up,ran out as if to look for them.
Juno and Clump were, it seemed, very much alarmed, both rolling theirlarge eyes round and round till they grew bigger and bigger. Certainnoises outside increased the terror of the two poor souls, but I knewthat they indicated impatience on the part of my companions.Accordingly, exclaiming that I would bear it no longer, I too jumped up,and ran after Drake. As neither of us returned, it was but natural thatJuno and Clump should have supposed that we had been carried off by thesmugglers. There the two poor souls sat, shivering and trembling withalarm, not daring to go out, for fear of finding their worstanticipations realised. At last, Clump--who was really a brave fellowat heart, though just then overtaken by a nervous fit--got up, and,taking his old gun from over the mantelpiece, prepared to load it.Several pair of sharp eyes had been watching proceedings from outside.Now was the moment for action. Led by Walter, in we rushed, and thenadvanced with threatening gestures towards the old couple. We wereafraid of uttering any sound, lest the well-known tones of our voicesshould have betrayed us. Juno was at first the most alarmed. She didnot scream or shriek, however, but, falling on her knees, appeared as ifshe was thus resolved to meet her death. Poor old Clump meantime stoodgazing at us with an almost idiotic stare, till Walter, advancing, gavehim a slap on the back, sufficient, it must be owned, to rouse him up.At first, the blow adding to his overwhelming terror, he rolled over, amere bundle of blackness, into the wood-box, nothing being visible to usbut two long quivering feet and five black fingers. But in a momentafter, with his still unloaded gun in his hand, he sprang up like amadman, jumped over the table, and, not trying to open the door, burstthrough the window, smashing half a dozen panes of glass.
Who should open the door just then and come in, as Clump demolished thewindow and went out, but Captain Mugford! Having left Mr Clareenjoying a nap on a sofa in the brig, he had come up to the house, and,hearing the frightful noises in the kitchen, rushed in there. So muchwas he prepared by the yells that escaped for some tragic scene ofscalding or other accident, that it required two or three minutes beforehe could take in the meaning of the commotion. But when he recognisedin the fierce smugglers a party of his young friends, and when he beheldJuno's situation, and the shattered frame through which Clump hadstruggled, he took the joke, and broke into the most elephantineconvulsions of laughter that I ever heard or witnessed. For half aminute, at least, he shook and shook internally, and then exploded. Anexplosion was no sooner finished than the internal spasm recommenced,and so he went on until I really feared he might injure himself. Afterfive minutes of such attack, he managed to draw out his bandanna andcover his face with it, and then, whilst we watched his figure shakingand quivering, we heard, like groans, from beneath the handkerchief, "Ohur-rh-ha--ar--uh! Bless me!" When he took down his handkerchief andhappened to see Juno rising from her knees, he swelled up again like aballoon, and then eased off gradually in splutterings and moans as adying porpoise. After which, he went and pacified Juno, and tried toexplain to her what a wicked trick we had been guilty of, and that theband of smugglers, after all, were only the boys she knew so well, andhe proceeded to disrobe us, one by one, so that the old woman mightcomprehend the joke. And so she did, but she sat motionless for a time,until some portion of her usual composure returned; and then she got upwith many a sigh and mutterings of "Ki! ki! tink dat's wicked--frite oleJuno so--oh Lor!" but before tea was served, I heard her chucklingslyly, and turning towards us again and again as she poured the hot milkon the toast she was dishing up. We meantime were employed in peeling,and by degrees got restored to our usual appearance, and we then hurriedup to our rooms to wash off the rouge and the marks of burnt cork withwhich our faces were covered. But the Captain sat down and shookquietly for a long while, the tears rolling down his face, and hisfingers opening and closing convulsively on the handkerchief. And whentea was quite ready, he went off to hunt up Clump.
Mr Clare came in soon after, but we had, by that time, got the betterof the fun, and removed all traces of the commotion. When the Captainjoined us at the table, he had another laughing spasm before he couldsay or eat anything; but for the remainder of the evening he controlledhimself pretty well, only breaking out about half a dozen times, andblowing his nose until it was very red and swollen. However, Mr Clarenever heard of the way the poor negroes had been frightened by apractical joke, a thing he particularly disliked and had often spokenagainst.