BenBee and the Teacher Griefer
Page 15
We are having to try super super super extra hard to be quiet out here because there is a Very Serious Grown-Up meeting happening in the other room but omg omg omg Ms. J is so famous now and she saved us! She saved us all! While we were working so hard to try to save her! And now we’re here and we can hear some of the words in the Very Serious Grown-Up meeting because the principal’s office door is almost shut but not all the way shut and she is saying things like regardless of that and you took them off of school property and then a bunch of words we can’t hear and that’s when I realize duh duh duh, this is the moment we got ourselves prepped and ready for why are we just sitting here and Ben B must figure that out at the same time I do because he shakes his paper at everyone and says, Come on you y’alls! This is what we came to do. She saved us, now let’s go save her.
And so we all flip open our books and march in.
[fart noise]
(For good luck.)
EVERYONE
B-B-Ben B is g-going to h-h-help me.
I hope th-th-that’s o-k-k-kay.
Ready, B-B-Ben B?
Do you know the k-k-key of C?
Do you know Johnny C-C-Cash’s song “Ring of F-F-Fire”?
C-cool.
Okay.
Go.
The farmer takes the jewels you gave him and he eats them. This surprises you because jewels are not meant to be food. The farmer’s belly lights up, beautiful colors swirling together until they shoot from his fingertips, from his eyes, from his nose, from his mouth. He is no pig farmer! He is not even a he! The Goddess of Sand stands before you, glowing so bright you have to look away.
She says, “Your kindness proves you are a true winner in all things. Yes, you have worked hard to save your server and save yourself, but you have not forgotten to help save others, too. I have a reward for you. Which of these boxes would you like?”
If you choose the gold box, turn to page 172.
If you choose the black box, turn to page 171.
CHAT
Divergent Dingleberries
Private server created by: BenBee
Password required
Avatar name: BenBee
Password: • • • • •
IMPORTANT MESSAGE ABOUT GHOST SEASON: Please contact customer service if you were affected by the bug in update OS 1.5.1. The volume of calls and correspondence is extremely high, so your patience is appreciated.
BenBee: So what I’m trying to understand is
BenBee: we spent this whole time building a pyramid we didn’t need?
BenBee: because Ms. J knew the Ghostkiller potion???????
BenBee: how??????????
0BenwhY: I taught it to her
jajajavier:): No, I taught it to her!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: No, I taught it to her!
BenBee: har har everyone’s hilarious
0BenwhY: for real, though, I taught it to her.
0BenwhY: My brother invented it and he taught me just before he died
0BenwhY: hello?
0BenwhY: I can see you’re all still here
BenBee: so wait, what? The original Ghostkiller was...
0BenwhY: my brother, Benicio.
BenBee: So he’s really not a fake, then. Not even a made up legend. He’s like, legenDARY. Ben Y—I’m so sor—
CHAT INFRACTION
BenBee: I never thought ghostkiller could actually be real, but
0BenwhY: he was actually my brother
BenBee: why didn’t you tell us?
0BenwhY: it’s not really something I like to talk about.
BenBee: oh. ok.
BenBee: I’m really sorry. About your brother and about doubting him and you and all that
0BenwhY: thanks, Ben B.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
jajajavier:): ((((((((((((((((0benwhy))))))))))))))))
0BenwhY: thanks everybody.
0BenwhY: so, can we talk about Ms. J totally OWNING that ghostkiller potion? omg
0BenwhY: officially more ghost kills than Benicio! In one night!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: I saw her on the actual real TV news last night and thank goodness i couldn’t choke on ice cream cau—
CHAT INFRACTION
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: cause I would have
JJ11347 ENTERS GAME
JJ11347: Hello, hello, hello! How are you all doing?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: how did you like our reading? wasn’t Javier amazzzzzzzzing??
jajajavier:): i was only amazzzzzzzing because of all you y’alls.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
BenBee: How are YOU doing, Ms. J? Are you still our teacher?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
JJ11347: Well, I have good news and bad news.
0BenwhY: son of a bench, we actually got you fired, didn’t we? i’m so sorry. i’ll never win a race again, I’l—
CHAT INFRACTION
0BenwhY: will always open doors slowly. I am so so so so so sorry.
JJ11347: Hold on a second. I did not get fired.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
BenBee:
jajajavier:):
0BenwhY:
JJ11347: That’s the good news.
JJ11347: The sort of, but overall not really, bad news is that I have been reassigned.
JJ11347: No more room 113.
JJ11347: Administration didn’t like it that I took you all off campus. To the willow tree.
JJ11347: I didn’t have permission from them or from your parents.
0BenwhY: How is the willow tree NOT on campus?
JJ11347: Right?! Well, it turns out it’s not. And that earned me the assessment.
JJ11347: After the assessment went . . . awry . . . well, you y’alls know what happened.
JJ11347: And now, no more room 113.
0BenwhY: NOOOOO
JJ11347: But! I’ve been moved back to the library!
JJ11347: Administration seems to think they can keep a better eye on me there.
JJ11347: I’m not sure they realize that librarians cause more trouble than ANYONE.
JJ11347: I’m actually quite excited about the move
JJ11347: and I am expecting you all to visit me in the library
JJ11347: a lot.
jajajavier:): Wait, wait, wait. Are you telling me this school has a library?? You might need to draw us some maps—
CHAT INFRACTION
BenBee: Maybe there could be a typing club in the library
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: typing club?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: oh, unless you mean for
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: typing practice?
0BenwhY: I could definitely use more typing practice
jajajavier:): Really, there is never enough typing practice, if you ask me.
JJ11347: Haha, you all are too much.
JJ11347: A typing club sounds like a great idea.
BenBee: You mean a divergent idea?
JJ11347: Maybe we should call it the Divergent Typing Practice Club.
0BenwhY: That is a terrible name.
BenBee: Anyone interested in finally finishing this pyramid? Just for fun?
BenBee: Hello?
BenBee: where are you going? throw me a fairy so I can catch up.
BenBee: is that what I think it is?
BenBee: I totally forgot it was here!
BenBee: the accidental chickenfall!
BenBee: my best creation ever
JJ11347: I don’t know.
JJ11347: I kind of think the Dingleberry server was your best creation ever.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: holy shiitake mushrooms, you know what I just figured out?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: Ms. J saved our server and we saved ourselves
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: we made the book come true!
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: does that happen with EVERY book you read to the end?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: can we read Tips and Tricks to Winning Fierce Across America next?
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: ??????????????????????????
0BenwhY: Maybe let’s read Divergent Nerds Surviving Seventh Grade next.
BenBee: Is that an actual book?
jajajavier:): Give me a fresh notebook, some new pens, and the rest of the summer.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!:
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: I bet Ms. J will even put it in the library.
JJ11347: Maybe I will.
JJ11347: Sorry to chat and run, but I have a library to get in order.
BenBee: High five and bye, for now, Ms. J.
JORDANJMAGEDDON!!!!: & bye!
jajajavier:): high five and bye!
0BenwhY: high five and bye, Ms. J. It’s good to have you back.
JJ11347: High five and bye, you y’alls. Don’t forget to keep reading for the rest of the summer!! Reading is—
CHAT INFRACTION
JJ11347 HAS BEEN EJECTED FROM GAME
THIRTY MINUTE RESPAWN COUNTDOWN BEGINS NOW
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book is a high five to every kid in every class in every school who has ever wondered why school is . . . the way it is. Some of us are Jordan J-shaped pegs and we don’t fit in Mr. Maillot-shaped classrooms. Just remember: Right now is not forever. You might think I’m full of shiitake mushrooms, but trust me; your differences make you shine bright. I see you y’alls. This book is for you.
This book is also a love letter to teachers everywhere. To the brave, to the fallible. To the bold, to the exhausted. To the ones who teach not just because they love teaching, but because they simply love. You are our front lines. You are the architects of our future.
I could not have written these words and these characters without the brilliant insight from my inimitable editor, Taylor Norman. It is a delight and an honor to learn and grow alongside someone as smart as Taylor.
I must also thank the spectacular team at Chronicle Books past and present. Ginee Seo and Tamra Tuller took a chance on me a hundred years ago, and I am forever grateful. Jen Tolo Pierce designs the shirtballs out of anything I throw at her, and I throw a lot at her. Laura Antonacci always has a plan, always has my back, and always has a tequila ready when I need one. Marie Oishi is, hands down, the most eagle-eyed copyeditor I know (other than my dad ). I couldn’t ask for better managing editors than Claire Fletcher and Jamie Real. And thank you, thank you to Eva, Mary, Kaitlyn, Lara, Jaime, Michaela, Daria, EVERYONE, thank you for everything you do (and have done).
One million cupcakes to Ammi-Joan Paquette for being the smartest person on the planet, and for using those smarts to guide me in all the right directions.
Thank you to Ann Bedicheck Braden and Debbie Michiko Florence for your encouragement and insight, and being the best advocates anyone could ask for.
Thank you to my cruise boys and my mama friends for lifting me up and dancing all night.
I literally could not have written this book without my son, Ike, and his obsession with Minecraft. Thanks for letting me steal your idea, kiddo. And thanks for being the original creator of a chickenfall.
Thank you to Georgia and Sam for all your advice, and for providing some of the best lines in this book. I couldn’t do any of this without you.
Thank you to Carole Adams Holt and Don Holt for weaving thoughtfulness, kindness, and the importance of learning into my DNA.
And of course, of course, thank you to my love, Shannon. Every day I marvel at how you were flung out of space, at just the right time for me to stumble into your eyes and never look back.
We shall continue to preserve.
As a child, K.A. Holt rushed through class work so she could play The Oregon Trail.
She died of dysentery, a lot.
As an adult, she rushes through deadlines so she can play Mario Kart.
She falls off Rainbow Road, a lot.
K.A. Holt lives in Austin, Texas, with her wife and three kids.
She is bad at video games, but good at writing books.
Most of the time.