Unfriend Me: A Small Town Best Friends to Lovers Romantic Comedy (Jobs From Hell Book 3)

by Marika Ray

  “So, I may have asked for some help packing the picnic basket.” Another peal of laughter hit me and I couldn’t keep explaining. That look on Amelia’s face was just too much. Embarrassment, a touch of shock, and a whole lot of indecision warring for top position.

  Understanding dawned on her face. “Ahh, I get it. Lenora packed the basket?” At my nod, she laughed. “Okay, now that makes a lot more sense. Hey, it may come in handy if you play your cards right.”

  I quit laughing abruptly, nearly swallowing my tongue.

  Now it was Amelia’s turn to laugh at the look on my face. “Come on. Let’s eat, then we’ll have the sex talk.”

  “Pretty sure my dad already covered that talk when I hit middle school.” I put some baked chicken in some kind of barbecue sauce on Amelia’s plate and handed it to her.

  “Oh, I’m sure Mr. Jackson didn’t cover what I’m going to cover,” Amelia said slyly.

  I had to adjust myself. But not discretely enough to get past Amelia. Unless we went back to hammer pants, there’d never be enough room for my dick when Amelia talked like that.

  “Mmm…this is so good. I’m glad you outsourced dinner to Lenora. No offense,” Amelia added quickly.

  I swallowed a huge bite of chicken. “It was actually Finnie who cooked the food and Lenora who packed it all. I mean, I wouldn’t mind cooking for you, but I want you to live a long time, so I figured outsourcing was best.”

  Amelia popped a grape in her mouth. “So, what’s this project you’re working on?”

  I frowned, heartbeat kick-starting at the question. “What project?”

  “You told Vee you had a project you were doing on the weekends. Was that just to get out of her clutches?”

  Understanding dawned. I’d have to be careful what I told her. “Well, it was to get out of an invitation I didn’t want from Vee, but it’s the truth. I’m working on something top secret.”

  Amelia leaned over and pressed a grape into my mouth, her finger lingering on my lips. Her brown eyes flashed in the fire light. “Too secret to tell me? Your best friend?”

  I chewed the grape slowly, enjoying the way Amelia seductively crawled over the blanket to sit on my lap. “Are you trying to seduce the secret out of me, Amelia Waldo?”

  I fuckin' loved it. It wouldn’t work, but I sure didn’t mind her trying.

  “Maybe…” she drawled, running her hands through my hair and making the goose bumps pop up all over my body. “Is it working?”

  I ground my hips up into her backside. “Oh, it’s working all right.”

  “Shit!”

  We both turned our heads at the distant profanity coming from somewhere on the hillside to our left. The daylight was rapidly diminishing, so it was hard to see who was out there.

  “Is that—” Amelia paused, whispering in my ear to remain undetected probably, though I was pretty sure our blazing bonfire would give us away. “Holy fucking seagulls, that’s Poppy leaving a sea cave!”

  My face instantly scrunched into a scowl so foul Amelia giggled, pressing her face into my chest to smother the noise. I couldn’t help the natural reaction. Poppy was pushing retirement age and those cotton shirts she bought in bulk from JC Penney before they went under weren’t doing her ample bosom justice. What the hell was she doing in a sea cave at night?

  If the town legend had anything to say about it, she was up to no good. The real question was, who was she in that cave with?

  “Oh, glory days are here again,” Amelia practically sang.

  “What are you talking about? I’m horrified. Maybe a little nauseous.”

  Amelia shook her head so hard her hair went flying. I thought she may have turned on the purple vibrator currently jammed in her pocket, but turned out it was just her being excited.

  “Are you kidding me? I’ve been waiting years to get something juicy on Poppy. Time to turn the tables on Ms. Gossip Spreader.” Amelia rubbed her hands together and I worried about the implications of an evil mind left to its own devices. “Now how can I use this to my advantage?”

  “Maybe you should just tuck that information away for another day.” Sometimes—okay, a lot of the time—Amelia scared me.

  She looked at me, her eyes glazed over in thought. “Yes. You’re absolutely right. I’ll save it for when I really need it.”

  I tucked her hair back, touching the three stud earrings that lined the shell of her ear. “I think you’re pretty cute when you’re cooking up blackmail.” I smirked. “Get it? Blackmail? She’s a mail carrier?”

  Amelia deadpanned me. “Ha. You’re real hilarious. Me thinks this vibrator won’t be seeing any action tonight after all.”

  She made to get off my lap, but I pulled her back. “Not so fast, fire pants. We haven’t gotten to the dessert.”

  One of Amelia’s perfectly sculpted eyebrows lifted. I had faith she’d be impressed once I told her what it was. I might get lucky after all tonight.

  “Please note I object to being called fire pants, but I’m sticking around long enough to hear about this alleged dessert.”

  She could lift her little nose in the air all she wanted. I knew the dangled carrot of dessert would grab her attention.

  “I made it myself—”

  “Well, shit,” she interrupted.

  I pinched her side, making her yelp. “I can’t cook, but I can bake. And I made your favorite.”

  Her face lit up like Santa himself came down the cliffside to hand her a miniature pony. “Chocolate brownies with peanut butter chips?”

  “Yup!”

  Amelia squealed and threw her arms around my neck, nearly cutting off my airways. Never doubt a man who’s spent years studying everything that makes a girl smile. I had so many little ways of impressing Amelia no one else would ever stand a chance to outshine me.

  “Gimme!” She let go as quickly as she’d latched on, turning to the basket and pulling out the glass Tupperware container at the bottom.

  I stilled her hands. “On one condition.”

  She looked at me with wide brown eyes. “It’s chocolate and peanut butter, T. Name your condition and you know it’s yours.”

  A satisfied smile crept onto my face. “You can have as much of it as you want, but I get to feed it to you.”

  “Done!” She pushed my hand out of the way and popped the top off, shoving the container into my chest to start feeding her.

  I went to laugh, but then lost all ability to mitigate oxygen exchange when I put the first bite of brownie up to her lips. Her tongue darted out before she opened up her mouth. I slid the chocolate in and made sure to smear some on her bottom lip for my own viewing pleasure. She chewed slowly, her eyes fluttering closed. Indecent sounds came from her mouth as she ate it. Jesus fucking Christ, give her chocolate and she became sex on wheels. I shifted uncomfortably.

  “We really need to bring back hammer pants,” I muttered.

  “Huh?” she said with her mouth full, eyes opening again.

  “Never mind.” I picked up another bite. “More?”

  She got the look of the devil in her eye and I knew I might be here awhile. Good thing there was nowhere else I’d rather be.

  14

  Titus

  “Oh God, the food baby is kicking its way out from the inside,” Amelia groaned, rolling off my lap and stretching out on the blanket. Her hands rubbed her stomach.

  I got up and put more wood on the fire, chuckling at her drama. “Probably shouldn’t eat an entire pan of brownies by yourself…”

  Her face remained jammed in the blanket, but she had the energy to lift an arm in the air in my general direction, middle finger raised in a pathetic show of indignation.

  “Hey! You had some too.”

  Truth was, I’d only had two. The rest were all Amelia. Not that I’d point out the math. The sugar would hit her blood stream any second now and I didn’t want to be on her bad side when it did. Besides, I’d gotten plenty of enjoyment out of feeding her the brownies. I was now a sla
ve to those puffy lips of hers.

  “I know!” Amelia rolled and sat straight up, a live wire of energy all of a sudden. “Let’s go skinny-dipping!”

  Bingo. Sugar rush rolled in right on time.

  I looked out at the dark ocean waves and then back at Amelia, face lit up with inspiration and a side of crazy.

  “It’ll be cold, but I’m willing to give it a go if you are.” I started taking off my lined flannel shirt to reveal the T-shirt below.

  Amelia hopped to her knees, a sparkle in her eyes I could never say no to. “Take it off, T, take it off!”

  I smirked and slowed my movements. If she wanted a show, I’d give her the best damn show a six-foot-five, mullet-wearing dork like myself possibly could. I grabbed the hem of my T-shirt and inched it up my stomach, knowing I had abs the girls loved, and based on the way Amelia licked her lips, she felt the same way. I got it over my head, the cool wind off the water hitting my back. Without the fire or the way Amelia was watching my every move, I would have been freezing. As it was, I was burning up for her. Every cell in my body came alive under her lusty gaze. I’d always felt that way around Amelia, but since we’d kissed, that energy had increased exponentially.

  Amelia stood, still staring at my hands as they went for the button on my jeans. Sweet baby Jesus, please let the goods not react to the cold. Shrinkage was not something I wanted to advertise the first time Amelia saw me buck naked. She sauntered over as I pulled down the zipper, her tongue darting out the corner of her mouth.

  “See something you like, Lia?” I whispered, voice so gruff I didn’t recognize myself.

  She lifted a shoulder, but her intense stare gave her away. She didn’t speak, just nodded. I flicked her hair behind her shoulder and cupped her jaw, tilting her face up.

  “You gonna stare at me all night or get undressed, sweetheart?”

  Her brown eyes warmed, but her cold hands landed on my chest, making my pec muscles flinch. “Haven’t decided yet. I kinda like watching you.”

  I snuck a quick kiss, not trusting myself to linger anywhere near those lips. I let her go and stepped back. “Strip, woman.”

  “Ohh. I like the bossy,” she said, pulling her sweatshirt over her head and tossing it to the ground. Now that she was in motion, she seemed to be in a race to the naked finish line. Her shirt hit the sand and her shorts came next, narrowly missing the fire. I shoved my jeans down and stepped out, trying to stay away from the flames while not taking my eyes off Amelia. When she was left in a black lace bra and a thong that left almost nothing to my imagination—and I could attest to having one hell of an imagination when it came to Amelia—I cleared my throat.

  “You know, I’d hate to get that nice bra messed up from the salt water.” I wasn’t one to talk. I still had my boxers on, but I couldn’t resist. I’d waited years to see those breasts and I honestly thought I might combust if I didn’t see them tonight.

  Amelia tossed her mane of hair and struck that pose you see all over Instagram that makes girls look like they have a Kardashian booty and a Barbie waist. I didn’t get the reason for it scrolling the app, but holy hell, did it make an impression in person. Add in the hint of tattoos on her hips and I was a goner.

  Highlighted by the bonfire to the left of her, Amelia reached behind her with one hand and unsnapped the bra. A smile only the devil could have produced lit up her face and I had to swipe my chin to make sure the drool hadn’t escaped. She flung the material down to the sand, and I felt a searing pain in my left chest. I rubbed the spot and locked out my knees so I wouldn’t immediately fall to the sand and worship the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Figured I’d have the start of a heart attack the first time I made eye contact with the world’s most perfect rack. I’d soldier on, though, and figure out my heart issues later.

  I took a step closer and then another, as if a magnet were forcing us together. My knees finally gave out and I sank to the ground, my hands on her waist. Sliding them slowly upward, I felt her full-body shiver and used every ounce of willpower I had left to keep from mauling her like an asshole. Instead, I hit the swell of her breasts and cupped them, leaning in to kiss the tattoos on each hip and then make my way north to the full breasts that fit my palms like Amelia was made for me.

  “Hello, gorgeous girls,” I whispered.

  “Did you just say hello to my breasts?” Amelia asked, the usual sass cut by a bit of breathiness that told me she was right there with me on the turned-on scale.

  “Fuck, yes, I did. I’ll give ’em names too and worship them as they deserve.”

  And then I stopped talking, deciding my mouth needed to be busy tasting instead. I took the first nipple in my mouth and sucked, adding a graze of teeth when Amelia groaned into the quiet night. The fire popped beside us and I let that nipple go to find the other. Amelia’s hands speared into my hair and held me tight to her breast. I was on sensory overload, high on Amelia’s skin and wondering how I could have turned away from all of this deliciousness for sixteen tortuous years.

  My hand left her breast without my brain working out what was going on. My fingers hit the line of her panties and that’s when the jolt of lust was so strong, I felt that chest pain again. I flicked her tight nipple with my tongue and Amelia moaned louder. I took that as a good sign and snuck my finger underneath the lace like I might die if I didn’t touch her.

  “Fuck,” I gritted out, pulling away from her breast long enough to curse.

  She was soaking wet for me.

  I stood so quickly Amelia almost toppled over.

  “What—”

  She almost looked drunk. Considering we hadn’t had any alcohol tonight, I felt a smug sense of pride for having put that look on her face, but I couldn’t let that sway me. I wanted to take our time getting to know each other physically.

  I grunted. “You better get your ass in that ocean or I’m going to rip that flimsy excuse for underwear off you and make you scream my name out here in the open where anyone could walk by and see us.”

  She inhaled sharply. “If that was supposed to make me want to get in the water, that was the wrong thing to say.”

  I pointed at the water’s edge, gritting my jaw so hard I thought I might lose a molar. “Go, Amelia!”

  Her eyes widened. Then she grabbed her breasts and spun around, taking off toward the water in a sprint. “Last one in gets to dine at the Y!”

  I screwed my face up even tighter than my nuts at the present moment. What the fuck did that mean? I took off running after her, the increased blood flow finally getting to my brain when I was halfway there. By the time I reached her, she was already waist deep in the water and shrieking from the cold. I picked her up and spun her around, water flying everywhere. She yelled some more and I joined in.

  “Whose fucking idea was this?” I shouted, so cold I couldn’t even shiver.

  Her teeth chattered as she tried to answer me. “I w-was under the in-influence of s-sugar, okay?”

  I looked at the water swirling around our legs—the ones I couldn’t feel at the present moment. We snuggled in tight to retain body heat, the sexual tension broken by seemingly freezing conditions. Skinny-dipping in the Pacific in the fall was equivalent to a cold shower with ice cubes thrown at you.

  “We’re both in the water. Can we say we skinny-dipped and get the hell out of here now?”

  “Y-yes!” Amelia let go just enough to grab my hand so we could high-step it out of the water together.

  When we got back to the fire, we both sighed in relief. Quickly repacking the picnic basket, I shook out the blanket and wrapped it around us, Amelia’s back pressed tight to my front.

  “Oh my God, that was freezing.” Amelia sighed as we incrementally warmed up.

  We stood locked together for long minutes, our shivers eventually subsiding as the heat from the fire warmed us back into the land of the living. As the blood came back to various parts of my body, I remembered Amelia was topless under this blanket with me, which meant my
lower half woke back up too.

  A vibration hit my chest as she let out a light groan, and then she rolled her hips, grinding her backside against me. Amelia had warmed up enough too, it seemed. My cock sprang to life and tried to escape my damp boxers.

  “Titus,” Amelia breathed, the word more a groan than actual talking.

  That was all it took. My name. On that kind of groan.

  Keeping the blanket around us, I shimmied out of my boxers, grabbed a condom from the picnic basket—candy flavored, thanks, Lenora—and pulled her back against me. I wasn’t waiting another fucking second to make love to Amelia if she was on board the same lust train.

  Take it slow? Stupidest idea I’d ever had.

  Amelia spun around and suddenly her breasts were smashed against my stomach, the headiest feeling in the world. I finally had Amelia naked in my arms.

  “Pinch me,” I whispered, our lips only an inch apart.

  She smiled. “I have a better idea. How about we go to that cave just up the hill and I’ll make sure you know this is really happening.”

  I’d never heard a better idea, but I frowned, unable to stop teasing her even when I should have been focused on foreplay. “Ew. The one Poppy was just in?”

  Her eyes got big. “No! Not that one.”

  I stepped out of the blanket, keeping it wrapped around Amelia. I didn’t care if anyone caught a glimpse of me, but there was no way in hell I’d let anyone but me see her gorgeous naked body ever again. I’d waited sixteen years for this. I wasn’t sharing.

  Putting my arm around her, we hustled to a sea cave not far up the cliff. Amelia’s giggle was driving me wild. The cave’s width was small, but it was tall enough for me to stand, so it would do.

  “So, how do we do this?” I asked, looking around at the jagged rocks and sand beneath our feet. Didn’t look super comfy for a first time.

  Amelia gaped at me. “You’ve never done it in a sea cave?”

  A shy smile hit my lips. “Nope. I always thought the town legend was special. Figured I’d save my first time in a cave for a woman equally as special.”