Shy Girl

by Katie Cross

  There were a thousand things I already feared about a trip like this. Being seen in my swimming suit. Laughed at for my stutter—or even just tolerated or avoided because of my stutter. Sometimes, utter rejection was easier than people being polite but frustrated with how long it took for me to get words out. Not to mention the looming truth that hung above it all. The ugly monster. The real reason I had said yes to Jayson’s insane plan. My unknown, absent, biological father would be there.

  Because he was the father of the bride.

  A copy of the non-disclosure agreement signed by both my mother and Anthony Dunkin lay tucked into my bag, where it would remain until I found the perfect opportunity to approach Anthony and hand it over. I wouldn't say anything to his wife, and I wasn't here to out anybody. I didn't want money.

  I just wanted some acknowledgment.

  The sheer audacity of showing up at this wedding made me more nervous than anything. I just wanted to see him. See what kind of person he was. See how I felt when I stood before him. See what it was like to face the man that influenced my world so much for how little he was in it.

  Although I’d had three days to get used to the idea of traveling to meet my biological father with Jayson, I’d just avoided thinking about it. Avoided Serafina’s text messages, her squeals of excitement when she stopped by and I updated her on everything. But I stopped my denial long enough to take her clothing advice. New swimsuits, cover ups, and shorts packed in a bag somewhere in the belly of the plane completed several possible ensembles. Besides, I’d never been to an elaborate wedding like this, and the thought of elegant dresses had been too daunting to tackle alone.

  My hands clutched the arm rests as the plane gave a little bounce that jolted me out of my thoughts. Lights popped on over the seats ahead of me, then off again. On the aisle seat, Jayson riffled through a magazine he found stuck into the plane pocket in front of him, then shoved it back in the pocket. His leg bounced restlessly. Apparently, he didn’t like being locked into a metal tube tens of thousands of feet above planet earth.

  I kept my eyes straight ahead to avoid awkwardly staring at him. My mind still rotated around my main tenet of disbelief in this whole mess.

  What was I thinking?

  For one, I'd been thinking that I'd have a free ticket to meet my biological father. On the other hand, a small hope that I could humanize Jayson and stop being so obsessed with him arose close after. Would my obvious focus on him wane if we spent too much time together? I certainly hoped so.

  My stomach churned yet again. I still couldn’t comprehend that such a strange circumstance was real. That Jayson Hernandez asked me to go to a wedding with him, where the father of the bride happened to be my biological father whom I’d been hoping to meet for years.

  My thoughts fragmented again, the way they did when I tried to comprehend this disaster. Would accidental sperm donor be a better word? The whole mess made Helene my sister of a sort, and she knew nothing about me.

  Anthony Dunkin had been a blip in the timeline of my mother’s life. Likely, a one-night stand that resulted from a drunken tryst while Mom was on vacation in Texas, although details were sparse. From what I could discern through tracking down dates and internet searches, he was married at the time to the woman who remained his wife. At what would have been two months pregnant, Mom signed a non-disclosure agreement on advice of his attorney, and he gave her a consideration of $50,000 to never say a word about him.

  Mom had kept her end of the bargain, but she hadn’t hidden the non-disclosure agreement well enough. Which only made this all that much crazier.

  What if I looked like Anthony more in person than what photos revealed?

  What if he knew me when he saw me?

  The latter possibility seemed nearly impossible. The man left my life when Mom was less than three months pregnant with me. How would he ever know me? Although I couldn’t deny the very distant, remote possibility he’d recognize something in me. Mom hadn’t lived in Pineville at the time of the affair, so he’d never know to connect her to a place. Maybe he’d recognize me in her? Him in me?

  The odds of him finding out who I was were almost non-existent. I just wanted to see him. Observe him in his life and with his family. See what kind of man brought half of me to the table and then walked away with a $50,000 consideration and never looked back.

  More importantly, I wanted him to see me.

  Maybe the whole mess would all make sense once I met him. He wanted to keep his secrets hidden because his life was so lovely and perfect. Maybe I’d feel a sense of relief—or betrayal—in what would never be. The other haunting questions of my parentage, the really vulnerable ones, would always be unanswered.

  Did he think about me?

  Did he regret not knowing me?

  Was he ashamed of me?

  Even days after Jayson revealed Anthony’s name, I felt stunned by the cocktail of fate that played out in my life. What were the odds that all of us could be so interconnected? That strange situations and circumstances could bring us full circle this way? It seemed almost too bizarre to be real, but then . . . how could it not be real?

  As if all that pressure wasn’t enough to deal with, I had to throw Jayson Hernandez on top of the pile. My throat tightened as I thought about how this complicated maze would all play out between me and Jayson. Not well for my part, I’d bet. He’d be in a tuxedo or swimsuit at any given moment. With his quick, warm smile and that boyish expression, I’d drown.

  At least Jayson had agreed to go as friends. Stuttering was hard enough, but my conscience made it worse. I was unable to speak when I lied, and would have been a horrible mess pretending to be his girlfriend. As lovely as the dream seemed to be, the reality was far less functional outside my head.

  Something Serafina said whispered through my mind as the turbulence calmed. Can’t you just enjoy this opportunity? You’ll be with Hernandez! There’s no one safer or more gentlemanly than him.

  Which had truth in it, or I never would have agreed to come with him.

  But enjoying the opportunity seemed so dangerous, like intentionally flirting with fire. Yes, I could enjoy my time with Jayson as a friend. At least show affection enough to keep Victoria and others off his back. My heart would be a ragged mess on the other side, however, when we both went back to our individual lives and I was just Dagny again.

  Wouldn’t it be a ragged mess anyway? I would meet my biological father without him knowing it and the only reassurance I had in this entire scenario was that Anthony Dunkin would finally be forced to face me. The mistake he tried to avoid.

  In the end, however, Jayson did me a big favor. Bigger than what I did for him, which gave me a twinge of guilt that he felt so obligated to pay me back. Jayson had eliminated all my obstacles to finding Anthony and taken me right to my goal, and he didn’t even realize it.

  “You doing okay?”

  I jerked, brought sharply out of my thoughts by the mild concern in his voice. When I glanced over, Jayson studied me.

  “F-fine. Thanks.”

  He seemed reassured by my smile, but not by much. “Ever flown before?”

  I shook my head.

  “We’ll even out in a minute.” He leaned back, at ease in this world. “Did you have any problems getting the time off?”

  “B-bethany was happy to give it to me. Sh-she’s been worried after the . . . the c-crazy woman.”

  “Good. I’m glad.”

  “W-what happens after we a-arrive?”

  “We’ll have a few hours to get settled in our rooms. I called Grady and asked for separate ones for you and me. Then there’s a big welcome dinner on the beach tonight.”

  He leaned a little closer and the heady, spicy smell of peppermint moved with him. He hadn’t shaved the night before, so stubble darkened his jawline. I tightened my fingers together as he pulled his phone out of the pocket in front of him.

  “Here’s the hotel we’ll be staying at on the island,” he said. “Y
ou gotta see this place. It’s unbelievable. They booked out an entire hotel, so no one else will be on that part of the island except the staff and the wedding party. Isn’t that wild?”

  “C-crazy,” I murmured.

  He angled the screen of his phone toward me and scrolled through a browser he’d clearly pulled up before we took off. Glittering sapphire beaches, white sand, poky palm trees. They slipped by in a blur of color and light and brightness that I couldn’t help but feel a heady excitement for.

  “It’s am-mazing,” I said.

  He grinned. “A welcome break from real life, for sure.”

  My fast joy fell for a moment when I realized just how little I knew about the situation we’d step into together.

  “T-tell me about Victoria? W-what happened with her?”

  His expression shortly followed suit. Jayson frowned, smudging the delight that sent butterflies all the way through my body. My toes tingled in the aftermath, still. At this rate, I’d never make it through the weekend.

  “Victoria,” he said, flicking the consonants off his tongue. “It’s a weird story. We met when Bastian and I first flew out to meet Helene, before Grady proposed. Vik is a train conductor. He had already visited Grady when he drove a train to Texas on some deliveries. Victoria came with Bastian, me, Grady, and Helene to dinner one night, and we hit it off.”

  His voice gained the distant quality that storytelling always lent, and I wasn’t surprised to see the story play out across his expression to match his words.

  “I stayed for a week, and Victoria and I spent all of that time together. She lived with Helene’s parents for a while after graduating college with her Masters in business or something.” He waved that off with a shrug. “There were no real commitments between us, but we both seemed to feel something. I thought we did, anyway. Turns out that wasn't true.”

  His candidness startled me. Rarely did I meet someone this open about who they dated or . . . didn’t date. Then again, maybe it was me that kept things hidden so long.

  “Wh-what happened?”

  He shook his head. “She basically told me off. Said there had never been anything and never would be. As a deputy, I couldn't support her lifestyle.”

  My mouth dropped. “You d-didn't m-make enough m-money?”

  A wry smile showed on his face. “Exactly.”

  Several seconds passed while I comprehended that, but I took it for the warning I sensed in his words. We were about to enter the world of wealth, resources, and getting ahead. Even if this trip was just for a wedding and I had no ties to anyone there but Jayson, I already felt overwhelmed.

  “Y-yikes.”

  “Same feeling. She's bringing a new guy with her to the wedding and I just didn't want to be there alone if she had someone else. That's all.”

  I gave him a little, reassuring smile. “I'm g-glad to b-be here. Sh-should I be worried ab-bout her?”

  “Nah.” He shook his head. “No one’s getting near you, Dag. I got you.”

  The edge of uncertainty in his voice told me he wasn’t entirely sure, which meant I could expect any number of things at this wedding. A little thrill charged up my spine at those words, anyway. No one’s getting near you, Dag. I got you. Those would replay through my mind for my entire life.

  Victoria didn't bother me, which was a relief. She'd probably ignore both of us for the new guy she'd bring along, since she seemed to have so many. I drew in a deep breath and steeled myself for the next step of our plan. Somewhere on the island waited Anthony Dunkin, which meant an ending I’d been looking for for a long time was about to happen.

  Jayson Hernandez at my side, looking as adorable and kissable as I’d ever seen him.

  My biological father, on the near horizon.

  The cold-hearted woman who spurned my new friend.

  A spectacular Caribbean getaway in an unprecedented way where I knew absolutely no one.

  This wedding would be one for the record books.

  8

  Jayson

  A wall of warmth met me the moment I exited the puddle-jumper airplane that I had feared would kill us. Dagny and I stepped off our third plane hours later and into a glimmering world of sun, sand, and sky. Dagny grinned, her head tilted back and eyes closed.

  Sunlight warmed my face and neck as the pilot stepped off the plane and gestured toward a golfing cart not far away. A familiar, athletic body climbed out of the cart and moved toward us with a pearlescent smile. He wore a bright floral shirt and a pair of khaki shorts with flip flops.

  “There’s the hideous groom,” I called.

  Grady slammed into me with the force of two colliding titans, unmistakable with his coiled black hair and ultra-white teeth. We chest-thumped and back-pounded for a few moments, then pulled away laughing.

  Grady glanced back, saw Dagny there, and smiled warmly.

  “Hey Dagny.”

  She shuffled forward, her arms at her side as a quick smile brightened her face. “Hi G-grady. Good to s-s-see you again.”

  Again?

  She stuck out her hand but he wrapped her in a long embrace that lasted at least twenty minutes too long.

  “You have a fiancée, you dog,” I muttered, and Grady laughed. The wind fluttered Dagny’s hair off her shoulder as he pulled away, but she looked ready to curl up there all day long. Yeah, not happening. Not with Grady. Nor Vik. Definitely not Bastian. I yanked her back.

  “Thank you for coming with this knucklehead.” Grady winked at her. “We can’t dress him up or take him anywhere.”

  I slammed a good-natured fist into his shoulder, but Grady laughed it off and reached for Dagny’s bag, which the pilot had unloaded behind us.

  “Come on,” Grady said. “Your shared bungalow is all ready and Vikram’s already here, looking for the wet bar and the closest single woman.”

  “He’s probably half drunk by now.”

  “We can only be so lucky.”

  Dagny followed just behind me, her head whipping around to take the place in, while Grady rambled about the wedding party, new arrivals, and Helene’s obsession with adhering to traditional wedding rules like a Best Man speech, something that gave me no fear. Public speaking? I got this.

  In the golf cart, we cruised away from the small landing strip and over to a hotel plunked in the middle of an island. Coconut trees stretched high overhead and cast long shadows as the sun sank toward a crystal-blue horizon. A distant storm slanted across the far edge sky, but the rest of it was a clear, cerulean blue.

  People dotted the beach here and there, but the white sand was largely quiet. White-capped waves made me want to plunge right in under the hot sun. My thoughts drifted to Dagny in a swimming suit, and I had to reel that line of thought back in real quick. The whole place was small enough we could drive the perimeter in two hours, I’d guess.

  The warm air, bright sunshine, and gentle whisper of the surf made me itch to get in the water already.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the wind whipping Dagny’s hair out of her face and across her eyes in a charming dance. Her lips were turned slightly up in a half-smile as she ran her gaze over the shrubby trees and sandy path that led to the hotel. A far cry from the usual view at the Frolicking Moose, for sure. I wanted to watch her soak it up, like experiencing the world from a whole new lens.

  “Bastian is flying in tonight,” Grady said as the golf cart plunked onto a blacktop path. The whine of the engine carried us closer to a small, circular bungalow set away from the hotel. A wooden porch ringed it, and grasses jutted off the top in a charming island display. “Won’t be here until later. I tried to get you separate rooms, but they’re all booked out with Helene’s family. She’s got a ton of the hotel, if not the whole damned thing. For an island getaway, it’s not that big.” Grady glanced in the rearview mirror. “I did, however, manage to move things around so the two of you got a bungalow with separate rooms. You can have it to yourself, Dagny, if you want. Jayson can bunk outside, with Bastian.�
��

  “Outside?” she asked.

  I smirked and said over my shoulder, “Bastian prefers to sleep in the open air.”

  “He’s bringing a hammock,” Grady said, as if that explained everything. To Dagny’s credit, she shrugged.

  “S-sounds fun.”

  That didn’t leave the little matter of sharing the bungalow settled, but we could figure that out later. With weather like this, a hammock would be a dream. Grady stopped the golf cart after a ten minute ride, not far from the beach. A figure with a floppy hat and a light green dress stepped out of the bungalow as we approached. Grady grinned the sparkling smile that captured most women.

  “There she is,” he murmured quietly, and bounded out of the golf cart with his too-large body. Seconds later, Helene let out a little cry as he swept her up and nuzzled her neck.

  “S-so sweet,” Dagny said.

  “So nauseating,” I quipped with a little wink, then stepped out of the golf cart. Dagny followed before I could offer to help. She reached for her bag, but I got there first. Apparently, she wasn’t going to make this easy. Even if I wasn’t sure what this was.

  She smiled. “Th-thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  Her head tilted back to study the wooden house covered with a grass-thatch roof that sloped down just above my head. White lights draped the outside, already glowing. The smell of bacon drifted through the air from what appeared to be a gathering below. A few open doors and windows gave us a quick peek inside a spacious, mostly wooden interior. Beyond that lay the beach, studded with tiki torches and hotel staff wearing the same uniform.

  Dagny ignored all of that and smiled curiously at Helene, who was tucked into Grady’s side. Dagny’s expression was serene, but something about it didn’t seem right. Her arms were a little too rigid at her side. Her face, a little too neutral. Was she intimidated by Helene? Most would be, considering the family Helene had.

  “It’s w-wonderful to meet you, H-helene,” Dagny murmured. “C-congratulations on the w-wedding and thank you f-for letting me be p-part of it.”